Everywhere you looked, there was blood. You yourself were the monster, the killing machine causing all this destruction...
You could see people dying, suffering, crying, all because of you.
You felt a pang of guilt, pity and fear.
You had no control whatsoever on your body.
What have I done?
You ought to be killed.
Panting, (Your full name) woke up from her nightmare-infested sleep, to put it bluntly. It had been more than 6 months since the team of superheroes whom had somewhat become her dysfunctional family had rescued her from the clutches of HYDRA. She was still not over the many deaths SHE had caused.
She was a monster.
Everyone had tried to ease your guilt...
"The deaths weren't your fault..."
"You had no control over your body..."
"You were brainwashed..."
"You were being manipulated..."
These words did nothing to ease your pain, or your guilt. You had spent 12 years in HYDRA, being experimented on, unwillingly, yet your feelings or views had, obviously, never mattered. You were forced to kill. But, your consciousness somewhat felt guilt. Not like you had any chance. You wanted to escape, you really did, but upon trying multiples of times, all you got in return was pain and punishment.
They had always caught you.
Shuddering at the grotesque memory, you forced your half-asleep body up. You decided to give up on trying to get some sleep and made your way to the tower's lounge, planning to spend the time watching a movie. Your bed sheets felt as if they were choking you, and you couldn't bear to go back to sleep, because of the unpleasant memories constantly occurring whenever you tried snoozing. Upon reaching the tower though, you felt your heart beat faster due the fact that a familiar god sat on the couch, his emerald eyes skimming over a book held in his hands. He was dressed in a loose green shirt and black sweatpants. Even in "Midgardian apparel", as he'd call it, he looked mesmerizing.
"Stop fangirling", you told yourself. You were sure Loki would NEVER reciprocate your feeling for him. Besides, he always gave everyone the cold shoulder, you thought. And he must have way better options, both on Midgard and Asgard.
Still, you gathered your courage, and plopped on a couch. He glanced at you, his face showing no particular emotion, though his eyes were visibly tired. You smiled at him, though not expecting one back (You did get one back, even though it was a mere tilt of the lips, it was rare, but you failed to notice it), turned on Netflix on the T.V and started surfing it. You played a movie, although barely halfway through it, you fell asleep, hours worth of skipped sleep finally catching up to you.
----------------------------------------
Loki had seen Y/n entering the room and then sitting on a nearby couch, but he had avoided eye contact. The memories from the dream- no, that word was inappropriate, nightmare would be better suited- he recently had kept playing in his head. The nightmare had resulted in jolting him awake from his sleep, and it was pointless in trying again to sleep, since these memories always tormented him.
A single glance at Y/n was enough to tell him that she had also been suffering the same fate. She was a real state, sleep deprived, like him, and it pained him to see her in this state.
He had long ago accepted he wouldn't be loved. His feelings would never be reciprocated.
But he was afraid of the affection he felt towards her, how his heart skipped a beat when she walked inside a room where he would be, how he would be at a loss for words.
The Silver-Tongued God of Mischief, tongue tied?!
Pathetic.
How could he fall for a mortal?
But alas, he had fallen.
And he swore by the Norns, had he fallen hard.
-------------------------------------------
Blood. Rubble, fire, pain... Screams. Pained, shrill screams-
You woke up, once again, drenched in sweat, shuddering and whimpering. It took a split second for you to analyze your situation.
Shit. I must've fallen asleep in the lounge.
"Y/n?", a smooth voice inquired. You looked at the source of it, and saw Loki and due to sheer embarrassment at your behavior or the close proximity that you had with the God of mischief right now (You suspected the latter, mostly) you flushed a deep crimson.
"Y-yeah?"
"Is everything alright? Are you fine?"
"Yeah. Yeah, it is. I'm fine."
Silence.
"No. You're not. You're not fine."
"Huh-" A pair of arms held you in an embrace. You truly tried to keeps your tears away, you truly did, but your thoughts overwhelmed you, and you confided in Loki. You told him about the recurring nightmares, about your guilt, and how you deserved to die. At this, though, Loki stiffened. He cupped your jaw with his hands and looked into your eyes. You seemed to get lost in those sparkling green orbs. Without breaking eye contact, so you saw the sincerity with which he said these words, he said, "Don't you dare ever think of that despicable thought again. You have been through enough, darling. You do NOT deserve to die. You are very precious; to me, to Thor, and to all your mortal friends. Do you not see how the Spider-Child looks up to you? It is I who ought to be held responsible for many terrible acts; I have committed greater crimes... But please, do not think of yourself like that..."
Now, it was your turn to be bewildered. The God had opened up to you and showed you his caring side, which you were astounded but no less pleased by.
"No, no, no, you are not to be held responsible for the invasion. It was not your fault. You had no free will in it, you explained yourself already! Apart from that, whatever you have done is purely due to the shit others caused in your life. But I love you and-"
Oh no.
WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST SAY OUT LOUD?!
"I uh, I am so sorr-"
You were cut off by the feeling of soft, yet chapped lips crashing on your own lips. You relaxed into the kiss and a little while later, both you and Loki reluctantly pulled away for the need of oxygen was there (For you, at least) to interrupt the beautiful moment you both had just shared. After this unexpected (Yet very much welcome) moment, you gazed into his eyes, at a loss for words, and he gazed into your e/c eyes, and with a contagious smile, whispered into your ears:
"I love you too."
And caught you into yet another breath taking kiss.
"WHAAAAAT? Well, I NEVER saw that coming."
You quickly pulled away, eyes scanning the source of the exclamation.
"I mean, I only meant to get coffee" Tony smirked from behind the couch. "But hey. Who's complaining? I've got some serious gossip material instead."
"Come on mannn..." You whined at him.
"So, you and rock of ages are now a thing, huh?"
Loki glared at Tony, obviously being offended by the moment being ruined.
"I mean, Stark, isn't it OBVIOUS?" Loki said, confidently, yet he sneaked a look towards you for confirmation.
"Yes", you added, "Though it is a new development." You smiled, gazing into Loki's eyes and seeing the adoration for you when he glanced at you.
"Ok, ok, no hostility needed, I'm not gonna take all your time, so you can make out all you want to, lovebirds."
You gasped, feigning surprise. Loki chuckled at your reaction.
----------------------
Both you and Loki were cuddling on the couch, with you playing with his hair and him occasionally peppering your face with small kisses, watching a movie, when you said:
"Thank you for being there, Loki. Thanks for being the one who understands. I needed that comfort. I'm so glad I found you..."
Loki smiled at your words, you gazed into each other's eyes, you both got closer, and...
"Will you both stop being so mushy and lovey-dovey in the lounge? Seriously, I can't even say "Get a room", cause you both already have a room each."
You glared in the direction, where a smug-looking Stark stood(Who had ruined the moment-AGAIN), an empty mug of coffee in his right hand, and you growled in his direction:
"Okay, you have 3 seconds to run, Stark, before I personally assassinate you."
Let's just say Tony regretted ruining that moment, though he would NEVER admit it.