Here's to the ones that we got
Cheers to the wish you'd be here,
But you're not...
Cause the drinks bring back all the memories...
Of everything we've been through...
Sobs wracked your body when the reality hit you ; The God of Mischief was gone, the one bright flame in your dark void of a life had been extinguished. He had died in front of you, at the hands of that.. That.. Abomination. That bastard who called himself Thanos. He had killed Loki. He had killed your Loki.
You had been in denial since Loki's body had lain in front of you, limp, lifeless, all the mischief and shine gone from his beautiful green eyes. It couldn't be possible! Loki loved to prank you and Thor, he certainly would jump out of a dark corner and give you a kiss and mischievous smile while you chased him around the ship to teach him a lesson for putting you through this pain. Certainly. But hours had gone by, and you had found the group whom called themselves "Guardians of the Galaxy", and after much persuasion by Thor, you had been taken to Midgard while Thor went to Nidavellir to get himself a new weapon, to avenge Heimdall. To avenge half of Asgard. To avenge Loki.
Now, you lay on the bed Stark had arranged for you in the tower, and you wanted to forget about everything. You wanted to be numb, unfeeling and to stop this struggle. You wanted Loki to jump out at you from nowhere and shout, "Loki'd!", the word he only had reserved for you, just like "Darling."
You wanted him to calm you down, to comfort you. But he didn't. He couldn't. So, you walked to Tony's bar. You opened the bottle of the strongest alcoholic drink you could find, and took a swig of it, flinching at the bitter yet welcome taste.
Toast to the ones here today.
Toast to the ones that we lost on the way...
Cause the drinks bring back all the memories.
And the memories bring back,
Memories bring back you...
You thought about Frigga, about her scent and her motherly figure in your life. You thought about Heimdall, and how he died while struggling for Asgard. You thought about the warriors three, you thought about Loki. About how he had confessed to you by the waterfall you used to love to visit at Asgard.
There's a time that I remember
When I did not feel no pain
When I believed in forever.
And everything would stay the same.
You were tired from riding such a distance, but the result had been worth it. This waterfall was beautiful and isolated. Nobody came here, at least you had not seen anyone here apart from you yourself in the past few years you had been coming here after training. You wanted to be isolated from everyone and their foolish bickering, to be alone with your thoughts. You wanted to try to peacefully convince your mind to stop crushing on Loki, your best friend since childhood. By Norns, was he attractive. His charisma, his calm behavior could never be matched. He was a Heart breaker. And you were afraid.
Afraid of falling in love with him.
But you did fall, and you fell hard.
"Beautiful, isn't it? Secluded too. The perfect spot for relaxation, if I might say so myself"
Your head jerked towards the direction of the voice, warrior instincts kicking in and your grip tightened on the hilt of your dagger. You recognized the voice. But that was the problem. You recognized the voice of a certain familiar Asgardian prince, and also the permanent inhabitant of your heart.
"What are you doing here- yes, I mean, this place is t-truly beautiful."
He chuckled, the sound enough to reduce you to a blushing mess. You wondered if he realized the affect he had on you.
"Why so nervous, darling? Can I not come here, to enjoy both the view and your company? We have been getting distant the past couple of days, and that hurts me."
"I uh, sorry, training's been a bit difficult to cope with."
"It's alright, I get it, love."
"Thanks for caring, Loki."
"I could say the same to you, darling.This waterfall is truly beautiful, but I can think of much more beautiful things-I mean, beings."
Your heart shattered. He was about to confide in you about whom he liked, and you weren't sure you could bear it. Unbeknownst to you, he had glanced at you when he uttered beings.
" Wh-whom do you talk of?"
"Goodness, you are so oblivious. Whom do I talk of?"
"Yes, who is the lucky person? Or is it a horse?" You smirked, trying to lighten the tense aura surrounding you both.
Loki rolled his eyes. "You know that was not my doing. It was a previous incarnation of mine"
"It was still Loki."
"Well, the lucky person right now, I'd say I'm lucky to have her in my life. She's so beautiful, I could look at those (e/c) eyes all day and never be tired. She's so precious to me, that I shall sacrifice myself if it meant saving her. She's perfect."
"Who is she?"
"She's... You."
"I uh- What?"
"You heard me the first time."
"What?"
"I love you."
You stared at him in bewilderment, a huge grin on your face which was now beginning to hurt.
"I love you too. I have not been able to gather the courage to ever speak to you about it. Trust me, Loki, your aura is ethereal. You make me rethink my entire being, with how perfect you are. You've been in my mind permanently since the day I first laid eyes on you. I just can't put it into words-"
"Then don't."
"What?"
"Can I kiss you?"
"Yes!"
And kiss you he did. Any doubts (which you never had) about being courted by him instantly vanished from your mind.
He was yours.
You were his.
For eternity.
The cold tiles of the floor of the bar brought you back to your dark reality.
"Oh, Oh God. Y/n, let's get you washed up, girl, you're a mess!" Natasha said, concern shining in her eyes as she walked in the room.
You had been to earth before, with Thor and Loki, and you had quickly bonded with Natasha. She had explained to you the basics of Midgard and the art of fitting in. "What happened? Where is Thor? Tony told me to come and help you with the 'emotional thing'. He said I was close enough to you-Where the hell are Thor and Loki?!"
Now my heart feel like December
When somebody say your name
Cause I can't reach out to call you
But I know I will, one day.
"Loki, Loki's gone."
The sorrow in your voice was replaced with anger. WHY had he sacrificed himself?! WHY put you through this pain?!
"He betrayed me. He said he'd always be with me. He promised. He told me he loved me. He didn't say he was going to die. I HATE YOU, LOKI! COME BACK, RIGHT NOW, ODINSON! Don't leave me alone, for Valhalla's sake! " You weeped, exhausted by your outburst.
"Everything will be fine. Come, now. We need to get you cleaned up. Loki would've wanted you to remember him, not destroy your life and health because he sacrificed himself for you. Everybody hurts sometimes."
Everybody hurts sometime
Everybody hurts someday, ay ay
But everything gon'be alright
Go and raise a glass and say, ay
Natasha helped you up and in about an hour tucked you in. You were still sobbing, holding onto Natasha for dear life. She somehow felt familiar to Loki, but you couldn't place it in your wasted state. You just wanted someone to be with you. You wanted Loki to be with you.
Here's to the ones that we got
Cheers to the wish you were here, but you're not
'Cause the drinks bring back all the memories
Of everything we've been through
Toast to the ones here today
Toast to the ones that we lost on the way
'Cause the drinks bring back all the memories
And the memories bring back, memories bring back
You
You didn't see, it, but if you would've opened your eyes, you would have seen how Natasha' s blue eyes turned into the familiar greenish-blue ones you adored, and how her hair turned shoulder length and black, styled just the way you loved it. And how her body and attire changed into his attire. The illusion was cast off, and the God of Mischief looked at your sleeping form, tears still running down your face. Oh, how he loved you. He leant down, kissed your forehead and cast a spell to make sure you slept peacefully, before pecking you on the lips and murmuring in your ear,
"I'm so sorry... See you again soon, darling"
You tossed and turned in your sleep, unconsciously facing him, smiling a watery smile, thinking the voice came from your dream, in which Loki was alive. He was there, right next to you, and you were happy.
He will come back to me soon.