Chapter 10
He entered the secret underground den and it was all lit up with the flames of several torches, he saw his father on the throne, his brother was standing next to him with a sullen look in his eyes, that was never a good sign, everytime Thor looked at him that way he knew he’d be in trouble, on the other side stood the other employees Clint and James. They were carrying belts and floggers in their hands and that scared him. And then his eyes fell upon Mrs. Waldrof, she had joined the center 4 years ago, she seemed a bit drunk but definitely not out of her senses, her daughter Tricia was lying on the bed in the middle of the open space, she was all naked.
“You called for me father?” Loki asked him as his eyes teared up
“Mrs. Waldrof here wanted her daughter to be blessed, it’s our responsibility to purify her and deflowering is the first step into womanhood, you know that right Loki?” Loki nodded as his father questioned him, he didn’t want to be beaten up today. It still hurt when they had flogged him last time.
“I gave the responsibility to Thor but Tricia here had a request, she chose you to purify her” The evil grin Odin had on his face was enough of an indication, he wanted Loki to fuck Tricia in front of all these people, her own mother.
“I …I can’t .. she’s just ..father I am begging you..I can’t” he got on his knees and started crying, Tricia crawled towards him and she caressed his head, that made him flinch in response.
“Hear that my children? He can’t. What a disappointment and then he cries to his mother that I prefer Thor over him” Loki started to cry even harder as Odin belittled him. Not that it was his first time but it hurt the same everytime he was insulted by his father.
“Pleaseee Loki..I like you so much, I know you want me” Loki looked at the girl trying to seduce him, she shouldn’t behave this way, they were the same age but she was a virgin and he definitely didn’t want to do this in front of his family or hers.
She dragged him on the bed with him and then she took his shirt off, he was so scared, he couldn’t get it up and they all laughed at him, she jerked him off with her hands and she tried to kiss him but he was too humiliated to even respond. He looked at her mother and she was smiling.
“Come on son, get it up you pathetic excuse of a man, fuck her” Odin yelled at him and then he gestured Clint. Loki winced as he felt the first hit on his bare back, it hurt, the hit was so hard that it must have broken his skin. Loki laid Tricia down and he tried to fondle his cock to harden himself up and then he entered her slowly. She winced in pain and he wanted to stop but as soon as he showed concern he got flogged again.
“Fuck her like a man, bless her Loki, you’re a god, you’re supposed to act like one” He started to go faster as he fucked her harder, his father’s voice kept ringing in his ears “Hurt her, ridden her of past sins, hurt her Loki, do it, do it, you pathetic disgusting swine"
He woke up with heavy breathing and your concerned form staring at him so he looked around, it was just a nightmare, he wasn’t back in the den, he wasn’t that same pathetic boy Odin had raised.
"What’s wrong?” You asked him softly as you kissed his neck and held him tightly.
“Nothing…just get off me" he snapped at you suddenly and you were taken by surprise.
"Loki?"
"I said..get the fuck off me” you looked at him shocked for a moment before you got off him and he immediately got up to storm out of your room. Did he have a nightmare? He seemed scared and you just wanted to comfort him but he didn’t give you a chance.
He sat down on the couch as he tried to calm himself down, just a nightmare, he had to keep repeating it in his head to get out of that mental space. He haven’t had such a vivid regressive nightmare in such a long time, years in fact, and now that he did he could clearly see that day and what he did with Tricia that night, that nightmare ended where it did but that day he didn’t exactly stop there, he did hurt her and then she hurt him too, it was violent and bloody by the time they were done with each other, all this happened while her own mother sat there quietly enjoying the show and thought her daughter was being blessed by the gods.
He went to his room and Jolene was sleeping thankfully so he went inside the bathroom and locked it. He sat down in the bathtub as he really wanted to shove those images deeper into his mind like he had done all this time. He didn’t want to feel so weak again, he pulled his knees up to his chest and put his head down as he cried as silently as he could so no one would hear him but his tears kept coming.
It wasn’t just that day he was reminded of but several other memories he had from his childhood kept haunting him. He wanted to be held and be told that he wasn’t at fault here, that he had no other choice but he felt evil for doing things he had done. He should have been stronger, he should have fought harder, he shouldn’t have done what Odin wanted him to do but he was so pathetic like Odin said.
After getting dressed you came out of the room and tried to find him but he wasn’t in the living room, did he go to Jolene? You had no idea but you sat down on the couch and waited for him. About an hour later he came out, freshly showered wearing just a pair of black sweatpants. He didn’t even look at you, he made his way to the kitchen instead so you followed him.
“Lokii are you okay?"
"Absolutely..what do you want?” He asked you sternly and it made you tear up. The softness was gone, it was good while it lasted.
“I just.. you seem hurt” he looked at you and chuckled as you said that
“Weak people get hurt you know.. people like you…not me” he mumbled as if he didn’t even care that his words would bother you deeply.
“I just wanted to…nevermind” you turned around and stormed towards your room. After he heard your door shutting violently he groaned as he bashed his fist onto the countertop. He should have filtered his mouth but he never could in moments like this, that was one of the things that ruined things between him and Jolene. He always apologized to her but it wasn’t enough. How could it be? She didn’t deserve his cruelty and neither did you, especially not you of all people, you came out of the same hell as he did, he never should have said that to you.
He tried to distract himself and decided to prepare breakfast and when he was done he went to your room, you were brushing your hair so he got behind you and held you like that. He wanted to tell you that he got scared by a nightmare but what kind of man would he be if he did that? He shared a few things from his past with his ex wife and it only drove her further away from him, he survived that but he could never survive losing you.
“I made breakfast” he whispered in your ear then he pressed a soft kiss on your earlobe making you sigh in response.
“Not hungry” you mumbled as you still felt hurt by what he had said.
“Okay give me that” he grabbed the brush from your hand and then walked you towards the bed to make you sit down, then he started to brush your hair. Reminded you of that day at the center when you wanted to go to the fair and he did your hair for you because your mommy was too busy with her therapy session and your daddy was out getting high and drunk somewhere.
He parted your hair from the center and started to work on braiding one side of your hair first,
“What do you want me to do baby?” He asked you so you glared at him
“Apologize maybe?"
"Okay, want to watch a movie after work today?” He asked you so you shook your head, he secured the braid with a tie before he moved on to the other side
“What about your wife? Is–"
"Ex wife" you huffed as he corrected you
"Is she going to join us? Because if yes then I’m not interested"
He sighed as you said that.
"Come eat breakfast..we have to go" He didn’t say anything after that, once he was done securing the braids he leaned down to kiss your forehead then he left, you really didn’t want to upset him further but he started it.
As you all reached the set, you immediately stormed away from them, there was an actress a little bit older than you who had a scene or two with Peter and she immediately caught Loki’s eyes. There it was again, the fucked up cycle you could never get out of, now with his ex wife in the mix it only got more awkward.
The actress Layla was salivating after him as well, so once her shot was done and she was on a break she took off with Loki and you didn’t need a third person to tell you where they went to.
You could see Jolene looking upset by the prospect so you sat down next to her
"It hurts right?” You chuckled so she glared at you.
“So you must enjoy sharing him like this huh? Makes sense when you were such a whore yourself at the orphanage” your eyes teared up as she said that “Ohh you think I didn’t hear about John? And those other guys?” She snickered but you wouldn’t let her insult you anymore, she had no right to complain when she had hurt him like that.
“You know nothing so quit acting as if you know me or him for that matter, how many years you spent with him? Two? Three? You married him during the lovey dovey stage of your relationship and when he started to give himself to you..you fucking abandoned him” Your name was being called so before she could retort you got up and left her to stew within her anger.
"Oh my goddd yess oh fuck yeahhh" the girl he couldn’t remember the name of screamed in ecstacy so he placed his palm on her mouth, he didn’t want a repeat of last time, his hips thrusted in and out of her slowly and then he increased his pace,
“Hurt me"
"What???” She looked him a little surprised by his request
“Just hurt me.. However you want alright?” he whispered in her ear before he sucked on her neck harshly so she gripped his hair in her fist and it made him moan in response, she took his shirt off and her nails scratched through his chest so harshly that it broke his skin.
“Mmmm choke me daddy please” she whimpered against him so he obliged, how could he not, she wanted this afterall. His hand wrapped around her throat as he fucked her mercilessly, she moaned as he made her breathless in every possible way but he knew his limits, he knew how much she needed this.
They all did, they needed him to be this way and he couldn’t fuck a woman without getting himself hurt or hurting her, even Jolene was into this and he thought he had gotten luckier, he enjoyed the soft lovemaking too but he hated how weak it would make him feel afterwards. He felt emotional, he fell in love, he cared about her, everything that his father taught him to not do in life he went against it to prove him wrong but what was the point? She still left him because no matter what he does in life now he’d always be that fucked up predator who had ruined those girls at the cult.
As he zipped himself up after the deed, she ran her fingers over the marks that she had left behind.
“Wow you are something…where were you all my life?” She smiled so he chuckled in response. However as she looked at the hickey on her neck she got upset
“Fuck now I have to cover this” she groaned and he rolled his eyes.
“That’s why I don’t fuck actresses..Well get out of my way now” he walked past her leaving her surprised, shocked, offended all at once. His phone started ringing so he picked it up, he had found a place for Jolene so on the way back from work he took you both there, you could tell she wasn’t happy because she wanted to stay with him and she wanted to win him over again.
“It’s small but it’s just a matter of few days..I hope that’s alright?” He asked her hesitantly so she smiled which was as fake as her nails were. He told her that he’d bring her stuff tomorrow and she insisted on going for a dinner together which only made you roll your eyes again. As all of you were walking down the stairs somehow she managed to slip and fell down, for a moment you were absolutely terrified and worried but as Loki picked her up and her eyes met with yours, that smile was enough to tell you what she was doing.
“She can take care of herself right?” You asked Loki as she was getting patched up at the hospital.
“I can’t just leave her alone in this condition y/n” he told you strictly and that made you sigh. That’s what she knew he’d do and she did it all on purpose.
So after all that nonsense she still ended up in your apartment, even worse now that Loki was helping her everywhere as she supposedly couldn’t walk on her own.
At night you were browsing through the Facebook, stalking Jolene’s profile obviously, she didn’t have any pictures of Loki in there which confused you. She had all kinds of pictures except of Loki’s, you heard a knock on your door but you didn’t respond so he entered anyways.
“Your ex wife doesn’t have a single photo with you. How come?” You asked him as he got into the bed next to you, he peaked at the laptop screen and shook his head, what was his life now? He wasn’t doing anything right, ever since Odin escaped things had only gotten worse, though he couldn’t deny that you two had your sweet moments.
Sometimes he truly did wish for sex to just not exist so he could just love you and keep you close without having to label your relationship or what you two meant to each other, sex ruined everything, always, and he knew he’d lose your constant interest in him once he has given you everything.
“She told me once to not tell her friends about my past, that could be the reason” you looked at him as he said that. She was ashamed of his past. What a bitch!!! “I never cared about it, social media is superficial anyways" he mumbled in a nonchalant manner.
"Huhh? says the guy who watches puppy videos on repeat” his cheeks flushed as you said that, he was embarassed to say the least.
“No need to make lies” he picked up the laptop and placed it on the side drawer so you would stop stalking Jolene.
“How’s her fake injury?"
"It’s not fake sweetheart"
"Whatever"
As he took his shirt off you noticed the red scratch marks, bite marks and several bruises on his chest.
"Layla said you sucked at sex and your cock is two inches long” he chuckled as you said that, he must have pissed her off greatly for her to be so upset with him.
“I don’t care sweetheart” he smirked as he grabbed your hand and placed it on his clothed bulge “See .. so much bigger than your fucking petite hands” he whispered as he looked into your eyes and your throat went dry instantly. Teasing whore.
“Do you care about anything?” You gulped as you asked him, he made no effort to place your hand away from his cock, that you could feel was starting to grow bigger because of your touch.
“I care about you” he whispered as he cuddled you closer to him, you stroked him up and down slowly and he stifled a moan that was going to spill from his throat “Such a naughty girl” he mumbled softly as he swatted your hand away from his member, your lips latched onto his neck as you tried to kiss each and every bruises one by one
“What happened today? You had a nightmare?” His eyes teared up as you questioned him, he was about to get up but you got on top of him and pinned him underneath your body.
“I don’t get nightmares” you smiled as he said that, he was lying ofcourse but you didn’t want to upset him anymore.
“I do"
"I know baby"
"Guess that makes me weak” your eyes teared up so he sighed.
“I apologized for that"
"Nooo you offered to watch a movie"
"Same thing” he cupped your cheeks and pulled himself up so he could kiss your forehead then he laid down again.
You turned the lights off and laid down next to him but you made sure to undress first, he left the panties on yesterday but you took it off as well, it’s not as if he hasn’t seen it all before. He snickered at the game you wanted to play knowing very well that once he played his cards he’d leave you a quivering drenched mess. He took his sweatpants off and even in the dark room you could see the outline of his cock standing up for attention, and gosh you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to touch him, stroke him, suck him in your mouth and pleasure him until he was screaming your name.
“Fuckkkk” you muttered under your breath as he scooted you closer to him, he was walking on a slippery slope he knew that, he was so close to losing his self control tonight when you laid there all bare for him and when you smelled so good.
“I do admire your patience darling, you’re such a patient girl” he whispered in your ear and your response left him shocked and confused, it can’t be, you have been in relationships before, those boys at the orphanage, that man you went out with against his permission on your 19th birthday, you must have done it right?
“Well being a virgin pays off in such situations"
As soon as he heard your response he got off the bed and put his clothes on, then he stormed out, he had alot to think about the perceptions he had made about you until now.
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