The sound of silence
“Are you stupid Steve!?, you realise he tried to kill you!?” Bucky paced back and forth in-front of Steve, who was sitting on a chair outside the trailer, rubbing his temples as Bucky went on and on about about idiotic he was.
“You don’t know him like I do!, I loved that man, morning, noon and night, I loved him! I basically shared every part of my day with Tony!, he was my world Bucky, and I can’t just throw that away, okay?” Steve stood up, quickly becoming agitated with everyone second guessing him and even worse, talking down on the man he’d once loved.
“Why are you two fossils yelling?” Natasha opened the trailer door, leaning against the frame as she looked between the two friends who were just staring at one another now
“He brought Tony here!” Bucky’s eyes were burning with anger, his metal arm folded into a fist at his side, “and is now going on and on about how much he loved him!- As If I was the only one in that hydra hideout!”
“Buck! That’s not what I meant!” Steve’s shoulders slumped, his posture folding as his gaze fell to his feet, “I just meant that before..”
“Before I came back?” Bucky’s fist unclenched, his head falling as though it was heavy, as his mouth felt dry and he suddenly found it impossible to look at his friend
Natasha sighed and stepped between the two, “come on, let’s go inside and talk about this.., the world doesn’t need to see another avengers fight…”
The three entered the cramped trailer, Bucky and Natasha sitting side by side on the sofa as Steve stood in-front of the two, rubbing at the growing beard
“Why was he here?” Natasha was the first to speak, her voice soft and quiet, eyes moving slowly to meet Steve’s, Steve took a step back, leaning against the nearby kitchen counter, a shakey breath falling from him
“I don’t know” Steve’s arms fell to press against the counter as he watched Bucky and Natasha exchange glances
“I do” Sam appeared from the doorway of the single bedroom, his arms folded across his chest, a scowl prominent on his face, jaw clenched as he walked to the centre of the camper
“He’s been texting Rhodey and calling Tony, he basically handed them our hideout!”
Natasha and Bucky’s heads whipped to look at Steve, “Steve.., you didn’t-“ Natasha rose to her feet when Steve looked away, guilt painting his face, Bucky stood quickly, fury burning through
“Are you serious!?, you told me that you weren’t going near him ever again!, how you were sorry that we had to live like this!, how you had a great plan to get us all freedom! But no here you are running back to an egotistical asshole who cares more for booze than you!, god you’re just like your mom!” Bucky was face to face with Steve, their breathing in sync, Bucky’s words came out to spit on Steve
And before Steve knew it he’d punched Bucky, the sound of skin connecting with skin a fresh memory and the feeling on his knuckles cracking from the force was something he was ashamed to admit he enjoyed, “How could you!?, How dare you compare Tony to my father!, Tony would never lay a hand on anyone he loved!”
As Natasha watched Bucky’s metal arm whir to life, she quickly stood between the two, “Wow!, enough!, I’m sick of cleaning up after you boys!, let’s all calm down”, she placed one hand on Steve’s chest and the other held Bucky’s jaw,
“This is ridiculous!, all this over Tony coming here, control yourselves, yea what Steve did was idiotic but Bucky you didn’t know Steve and Tony..”
Natasha looked at Steve as if searching for something in his eyes,
“Tony stopped drinking, Steve was in the gym at normal times, they had date nights every Friday and movie nights with the team every Saturday, where they’d curl up on the sofa nearest the door together…” Natasha moved down to take Steve’s hand, squeezing it “Tony would sleep through the night and so would Steve, together, then every morning they’d have breakfast together, talking about whatever two idiots in love talk about, they were side by side at the start and end of every mission”
Natasha looked to Steve’s eyes
Steve felt the tears brimming at his eyes, his throat suddenly scratchy, “I’m not defending Steve here because what he did was the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen him do but you can’t let a love like that go-, I mean hell, I send Clint a letter at the end of every week, just so he knows that we’re all okay and so that I know he is..” Natasha let out a small laugh “the only difference between what me and Steve did was that I didn’t text from a clearly traceable number and then try and hide someone being here…” Natasha let go of Bucky’s jaw, “so if you’re going to be pissed of at Steve” she looked between Bucky and Sam, “then you have to be pissed off at me aswell, it’s hard to cut of from your family”
Sam nodded and moved forward, “Sarah knows where we are…” His voice was laced with guilt, he fidgeted with his hands as he spoke, “I told her two weeks after we got here..” Sam moved towards Steve, “I’m sorry for getting so pissed off man, I know how hard this must be for you but.. you’ve gotta see our side” he looked over at Bucky, “I mean you took him from Wakanda and said he’d be safer here but then you go and tell the guy who’s out for his blood where he is?”
Steve nods, “yeah that was stupid of me” the four share a laugh as Steve pulls them in for a hug, “sorry bout your face, Buck” Steve nudged his friend slightly as he pulled back from the hug
“Whatever punk”
TONY’S PENTHOUSE
“There you are !” Rhodey rushed over to Tony as his suit landed on the roof, “I’ve been stood here for three hours like a dick!, you locked all my suits!?” Rhodey shoved at Tony, “what the hell man! What if they’d beat the shit outta you?”
Tony just chuckled and walked away from Rhodey, heading into the penthouse, “calm down”
“No! Not ‘calm down’, you do realise you could’ve died right?, Steve almost killed you last time!” Rhodey grabbed onto Tony’s shoulder, forcing him to turn “and that metal armed freak!, you could be lying in a ditch in Norway right now, what happened?” James voice was angry of course but Tony could hear the worry that attempted to push through
“I saw Steve…” Tony shrugged away, the name catching on his tongue slightly, his heart skipping a beat at the thought that just a few hours ago he’d been stood face to face with someone who’d become a painful memory but yet it hadn’t been painful, it’d been Heart-stopping, every fibre of Tony’s body had begged to hold onto Steve and not let go but every minuscule of his mind had urged him to run and so he did what Starks do best, follow his mind.
“You saw him..” Rhodey moved forward but then back as if scared his friend would burn him, “oh Tony..”
“It’s fine!, I’m fine, infact I need some sleep- so uh, I’ll see you tomorrow..” Tony attempted to push rhodey towards the door, normally rhodey would’ve fought back, urging to stay a little longer but Tony clearly didn’t have much fight left in him tonight so he said his goodbyes and said a silent prayer for his friend to get better.
3am rolled in fast than it should’ve and the empty bottle of whiskey staring back at Tony was urging him to make a bad decision, his usual 3am routine.
And so he did as his mind told him and made a bad no a catastrophic decision, he searched for the fossil of the phone given to him by Steve
He stared at it for what felt like hours after pulling it out of the bottom of his bedside table drawers, one side of him begging to put the phone down the other begging to call.
“FRIDAY!, what’s the time in Oslo right now!” Tony’s voice slurred as he spoke but nonetheless the AI sparked to life.
“It’s currently nine am in Oslo,Norway sir.., but I do have to say if you’re going to do what I think you are then I’ve been asked by you from three weeks ago exactly to not do it…” and with that the AI burned away.
“Fuck him!- I know what’s best” Tony flipped open the phone, squinting at it, only one number was displayed on it
“Welp-“
And with that the phone began to ring, as did Tony’s ears, his head felt heavy, he swore his whiskey was creeping back up his throat, his entire body felt on fire and chest feeling like it was going to collapse but just as he went to flip the phone back over and sink away to nothing, a voice spoke over the line
“Tony…” it was Steve, actually Steve, and Tony could hear the slight grogginess to the voice, the ruff edge that circulated his name, and yet Tony sat in silence, no idea what to say, god he really wished he hadn’t drank two bottles…
“S-Steve” And there was the stutter, he couldn’t help it, his palms were sweaty and his throat was as dry as the desert, his heart slowly sinking out of his body as he waited for a reply, he couldn’t hear anything on Steve’s end…, maybe he’d hung up?
But then he heard it, the sound of Steve’s voice was a calming noise even as he questioned him, “why are you calling me? Are you okay? Did something happen!?, are we needed…”
“No, nothing wrong, it’s just..” and before Tony could stop himself, the words fell out “that I need you…” and then both ends fell silent, Tony held his breath in, his vision feeling blurry as he squeezed his eyes shut awaiting some soul crushing response
“Tony..”
“Steve…, please-“ and without meaning to, Tony’s voice broke, his buzz slowly wearing off as reality slammed into him.
“Tony.., we can’t do this.., I can’t do this” Steve was whispering now, a hand clutching right above his heart, his brain screaming at him to end the call but his heart mending itself with every word Tony spoke.
“I know and I’m sorry for what I did but I miss you..” Tony’s voice was cracking like a pubescent teenage boy, the tears once again forming, when did he get so emotional?
“And what? You don’t think I need you!? You think I’ve not missed you!.. Tony yesterday was a hard day for me, I had to walk away from you again well you walked away from me…,” Steves end went quiet for a moment before he sighed and spoke harshly into the phone, “I had to admit to my friends that I’d risked their safety!, you make me stupid Tony and I can’t risk being stupid right now..”
Tony fell silent, the urge to end a phone had never been so strong in all his life even when it was his father yelling down the other line at him but some small part of Tony just couldn’t let Steve go so easily,
“Steve..”
But then the line went dead, the call ended and Tony was left alone in the dark.