Gamma
[Jotunheim – A cavern, within the Palace]
She had a purpose that no one else could fill. She was a wild thing running amuck in her haven. Tusks of ivory and skin, white as snow. Like her prince, she too had runes. Like her prince, she too was a runt. She has not met him yet, but she could picture him. She did not know him, but she could feel him.
She purred and growled as she sauntered around the frozen lake. She enjoyed her daily walks as she was awestruck by the size and virtues of her surroundings. She was a wee thing with a big heart as she sniffed the fresh air, she had grown accustomed to.
“Oh, little one, where are you?” a voice chorused.
A voice she knew and adored. Immediately, her four paws ran in the direction of where the voice came from. Within seconds she found her, the old Queen of Jotunheim standing tall and mighty.
“There you are,” she said as her bellowing figure crouched down to rub the little Frost Beast, “such a wee thing… it is so hard to find you at times.”
It was a playful mood as she crouched to her side and started licking the fingers that would rub her fur. This was her life as far as she could remember, freedom, food, and playtime.
“It will not be long till he comes, you know? Look at yourself, so mighty and strong. Your runes, so rich in colour now as well,” she voiced as she confirmed the circling rumours that her master had connected himself with the heart of Jotunheim. She continued to rub the little Frost Beast.
She could tell that the queen’s voice had dampened. It was meant to be a slight purr, but she was convinced that it was a bark. Fortunately, the Queen of Jotunheim knew her well and did not mind her as she smiled in return.
“Mother,” her eldest son, Byleistr said from the far corners of the cavern. “Asgardians have arrived and are waiting in the grand hall.”
Her ears perked when she heard the Queen’s eldest son speaking. She happily started trotting over the softened sand as he heard the Queen muttering, “and so it begins,” as she walked away.
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[Jotunheim – The Great Hall]
He wouldn’t call it regret. Yet, there was something peculiar about Jotunheim. Annoyance and confusion plagued his mind as it became apparent that Jotunheim was nothing like the memories instilled within the confines of his mind.
Memories involving bloodshed, tears and mass destruction brought about a shiver that unsettled him greatly. It was hard to accept that in his past he was nothing short of a warmonger causing destruction and despair.
But now, there was a sense of warmth flourishing through his body. He saw a rich lifestyle, one that reminded him of Asgardian culture. Though, there was a subtle difference in clothing. He understood the gist of appropriation, the freedom to have distinctive styles to suit their different agendas.
I was wrong, he mused silently. Yet, he couldn’t help but let his lips curl upward. It was the good type of wrong, and he verily welcomed it.
“Oh, great… look at him. He’s all smiling now,” Lord Tyr piped as he spoke to Lorelei. “You get to see the mighty king of Asgard… smile… at nothing,” he continued while he shook his head. “And stop that nonchalant expression… it’s unnerving,” he added as his gaze on Lorelei hardened.
“Sorry, my lord,” Lorelei answered emotionlessly.
“Of course, you are,” he mumbled as he shook his head. Turning to face Odin, he walked towards him. “When you attended court this morning, saying you wanted adventure and glory, I did not imagine said adventure involving a courtier and let alone, visiting Jotunheim.”
Odin dryly smiled as he turned to face his friend. “I made no mention of adventure or glory. I made mention of a missive involving Jotunheim… and be nice, that’s Loki’s courtier.”
“Oh?” Tyr responded sheepishly as he found his hand on the back of his head. Within seconds, he let out a bellowing burst of laughter. “Selective hearing then,” he rambled as he continued laughing.
“Of course,” Odin answered as he skirted by Tyr. He moved towards Lorelei. “You are quiet. Do you wish to return to Asgard?”
“Nei, my king,” she replied. “I just find myself… lost.” Her hands were afar as her gaze shifted towards the contents of the great hall. “Take away the ice and blue, tis not much different from what we see in Asgard… it’s nothing like the stories we were told as younglings.”
Odin nodded. “A disheartening mistake on my part,” he noted quietly.
“One that will be rectified?” Lorelei asked immediately.
Her voice was darker, and in the corner of his eye, he could see that Tyr was intrigued as well. A courtier by nature is submissive. They are subservient to the respective hierarchy. Yet, there was something amiss with her choice of tone. It wasn’t tame or quiet by nature. It was coarse with a hint of laced venom. Odin couldn’t help but smile.
You chose well Loki.
“Yes,” Odin answered. “Even if it’s the last thing I do,” he added in a quieter tone.
“Feisty little thing,” Tyr noted as he stepped to Odin’s side. “On a side note… how long do you suppose till the Queen of Jotunheim makes her appearance?” he asked cautiously with his brow raised.
“Who knows?” Odin asked in return. “I’m grateful that they have chosen to see us.”
“Could be a trap… you know?” Tyr asked with a shrug of his shoulders.
“Unplausible,” Odin answered with a short smile.
“Not impossible,” Tyr returned with an equal smile.
“They are here,” Lorelei chimed as she turned to face the arched doors.
“King Odin and Lord Tyr,” an eerier sound chorused through the hall’s entrance. Fastened sounds grew louder with every step. Tyr and Lorelei couldn’t help but gasp.
The Queen was tall and benevolent. Like Laufey, but less of the ragged look and classier as her tall figure waded into the great hall.
“Apologies,” she continued. “I had matters to deal with that required the utmost attention.”
“Queen Farbauti,” Odin said with a slight nod. “Tis a pleasure to finally meet you.” He noticed, that neither Tyr nor Lorelei had moved. With a subtle look that spoke volumes, he watched in delight as both Tyr and Lorelei bowed and curtsied, respectively. “I apologise for my wayward convoy. They are merely tired from the travel.”
“Is that so?” Farbauti asked with a gleaming smile. “I guess the rumours are true… that the Bifrost is truly broken. A shame… a pity.” She turned to face the two Jotuns on either side of her. “These are my sons, Byleistr and Helblindi,” she continued as she shifted her gaze between her children with a short smile.
Loki’s brothers, Odin realised.
“But you already knew that… didn’t you? After all, you have always had an interest in Laufey’s bloodline,” Farbauti continued.
He wasn’t sure why, but he felt very feral. It was an instinctive reaction as his back straightened, and his body turned rigid. “Well,” he started a snarl. “If a boy wasn’t left alone in the cold as a sacrifice… such interest would have never occurred.” As soon as the words had left his mouth, he felt the taste of disappointment coursing through his body. Because he knew, that without such an action, he would have never found Loki.
“Ahem,” Tyr motioned in an oddly manner. He was the God of War and the great general of Asgard’s Einherjar. He was no peacekeeper, yet even he knew that Odin’s choice of words were harsh. “My King didn’t mean it. He’s-”
“You thought he died,” Lorelei said as she interrupted Tyr. She ignored the strained look Tyr had across his expressions as she directed her sole attention on Farbauti.
“Lorelei,” Tyr absconded.
Immediately, Lorelei’s piercing iris turned to face Tyr. His eyes widened in surprise and he found himself in a discombobulated state as his gaze turned away.
“I saw you,” Lorelei continued darkly. “Just then… when Odin mentioned sacrifice… you’re eyes widened. You were surprised. You didn’t know… did you?” she pressed.
Farbauti gritted her teeth as she faced Odin and Tyr. “Who is the child?” she asked.
“Loki’s courtier,” Odin replied.
“I am surprised… that you would have someone so ignorant in such a position… more so, within the house of Odin,” Farbauti sneered repulsively.
Odin opened his mouth to reply, but Lorelei was quicker. “I respect the King for what he is… the King of Asgard… but matters concerning Loki are different to a mere position,” she continued melancholically. “My lord influenced me… that right is right and wrong is wrong… that while a hierarchy exists… it is for the nature of simplicity – aristocratic, and nothing more. So, my question… no, my statement stands. You did not know.”
“You are a dark creature… aren’t you?” Farbauti noted as she looked down at Lorelei. “but yes… you are right,” she continued before turning to face Odin. “I did not know about the circumstances… if I did, it would not have occurred in the first place.”
“Even if he is a runt?” Lorelei pressed.
“Is the courtier the voice of Asgard?” Farbauti asked dryly. Her gaze from Odin never wavered. “Has the mighty King of Asgard lost for thoughts that he would have a sully courtier approach and talk to the Queen of Jotunheim in such an uncanny manner?”
Odin knew that Farbauti spoke of the truth. Such manner of talks was unprecedented. On the one hand, he wanted to scowl at her. Yet, as he stared, he could see Loki’s silhouette guiding her.
How many times have I been dismissive of Loki’s way?
How many times have I scowled at him?
No more.
“She doesn’t speak for Asgard,” he said sternly as he watched Farbauti’s lip curling upward. In the corner of his eye, he could see Lorelei’s head dipping forward as if shame had been bequeathed upon her. “But she does speak for me,” he continued with a smirk of his own. His piercing gaze darkened as his posture relaxed. He watched in delight as Lorelei once more lifted her head before turning his gaze towards Farbauti.
“Hmm,” Farbauti snuffled. “My, my… Asgard has changed. How troublesome,” she said with a short smile before she turned to face Lorelei. “To answer your question… no,” she said quietly. “He was my firstborn… he was mine. It made no difference to me.”
“Plenty amongst Jotunheim would disagree considering his size,” Odin continued soothingly.
“And they have died,” Farbauti bit back aggressively. “By my doing… and by my sons’ hands,” she continued grimly.
“Ahh,” Odin noted. Immediately, Tyr and Lorelei turned to face him. “Did you never wonder why no Jotun had attacked us once we ventured on their sovereign land?” he asked curiously. He didn’t expect an answer, nor did he wait. “A civil war – I take it?” he asked Farbauti.
“Yes,” Farbauti answered with a smile. She turned away and cupped both Byleistr’s and Helblindi’s chins. “We never approved of Laufey’s way.”
“Yet, it took you years to finally act,” Odin surmised.
“A luck encounter,” Farbauti answered with a short chuckle as she turned to face Odin. “A queen that was treated less than a whore… a queen that ventured into the mountains to find solace found a wee boy with the markings of Laufey. It wasn’t difficult to piece the lies… he had Laufey’s markings… which told me he was mine… and then he had the blue box… that godforsaken tesseract that you once commanded when warring us… I knew then and there that he was important to you.”
“I remember… I remember that day well,” Odin replied grimly.
[Flashback Begins]
He had hoped that it was a rumour and that it was a lie. Yet it was not the case. Masked by darkness, he knew that his son could not see him, nor sense him. He watched quietly as both Loki and the tesseract returned from where they ventured.
He watched as the little babe trotted and walked away with a gleaming smile.
He waited a moment before walking over to where the tesseract was.
His expression was grim as he grasped the object he once held as his prize possession.
“I had hoped that Loki would not find you,” Odin started. “I had hoped… that I could keep you hidden here amongst the trinkets, tablets, and other artefacts. Yet… it seems to be that you and he are destined.”
The cube within his hand began to glow blue. He could tell that she was communicating with him. He could tell that she expected this.
“You helped forge this… feat. You are the reason why the nine realms are the nine realms. Yet… this is more than that. Memories of Hela are not easy to forget. I lost one child to power… I refuse to lose another,” he said sadly. “I see the tainted darkness that engulfs him every morrow. I see the rage that he has mastered… I see him thriving upon such negative emotions… his hunger and knowledge are misplaced.”
Again, the cube within his hand pulses… yet unlike before, it does so despondently.
“Yes,” he whispers grimly. “I fear that he will turn into me.”
[Flashback Ends]
“I never saw him after that,” Farbauti continued in a weaker tone. “But that one encounter… was enough. It opened my eyes and I saw a future that I could not let go of.”
“So, you’re the culprit behind Laufey’s men finding their way to Asgard,” Odin noted grimly as he ignored Farbauti’s shocked expression.
“Wait what?” Tyr interjected.
“Am I wrong?” Odin pressed.
“Do you blame me?” she asked with a short smile. “You had driven him to the blink of death. He had no purpose… he was an empty shell. A name fluttering throughout the nine realms. Though we never met, I did what I had to do. I gave him a sense of purpose. I gave him the means to travel the world using the dark paths, and he verily accepted it.” Her eyes might have been empty, but her posture said otherwise. Her gaze hardened her gaze turned into an eternal stare.
She expected Odin to lose control. She expected the worst from the moment he finished talking. Yet, she was surprised when in fact, it was the courtier who stepped forward.
“It was you,” Lorelei seethed as her hands were engulfed in a wave of purple. “This… everything. Without your doing, Loki would still be here,” she added ferociously.
Immediately, Byleistr and Helblindi moved forwards.
And immediately, Lorelei’s eyes burned bright purple. With a swift motion, she leaned forward with her hands moving afar to the side. She watched with delight as Byleistr and Helblindi were forced aside.
Lorelei then pressed her arms down, and subsequently, Byleistr and Helblindi were forced to kneel.
“Lorelei,” Odin snarled. His aura seeped into reality. His command was pressing, but even he knew that Lorelei would not stop.
“Her doing took Loki,” she screeched. Her gaze never left Farbauti’s shocked, gaping expression. “I could end this now,” she continued.
I could end this now… Loki said something similar, didn’t he? I could have done it… and what did I respond with? No Loki.
He shook his head as he grounded himself to focus on reality. “It doesn’t change Loki’s rage,” he answered soothingly. “It doesn’t change the hatred he had for Asgard… and least of all, it doesn’t change the fact that it was Thor’s doing that led Loki to fall,” he added in a hushed whisper, because it was the truth. If Thor did nothing, Loki would have still lived.
Suddenly, the wave of purple was gone as she turned to face Odin. Her breathing was harsh and long. Leaning back and forth with every breath, she curtsied. “I apologise, my king,” she answered mechanically. Not waiting to be excused, she stood up and walked over to Odin’s side and eyed Farbauti and her sons cautiously. “I apologise for my actions,” she added half-heartedly.
“You need not apologise,” answered Farbauti. “You should hold your head high, Asgardian. To go toe to toe against a Jotun is one thing… but as a woman? That is an entirely different matter. Warrior race or not.”
Lorelei couldn’t help but marvel at Farbauti’s posture. Even knowing that she had just caused embarrassment towards the two Jotun brothers, Farbauti still praised her. It was an odd feeling as her cheeks turned pink.
“Look at her. All embarrassed,” barked Tyr with a gleaming smile. His hands were at his side as his bellowing chest heaved back and forth.
“For someone known as the God of War, you’re very much… out of character,” Farbauti noted as she turned towards her sons. “And you two, are you both okay?” she asked with concern.
“Yes,” Byleistr answered stoically.
“Well, my ego’s a little bruised,” Helblindi chimed with a sheepish smile.
Farbauti nodded as she turned to face Odin once more. “My actions are my own. There are no regrets. Without Loki’s input… without him, Jotunheim would have continued on a downward spiral that will have never ended… it would have resulted in the destruction of life itself… and you know it to be true.”
“I do,” Odin replied sternly. “What’s done is done… we can only focus on the future.”
“And what is the future?” Farbauti asked with a short smile. “What brought you to Jotunheim today?”
“To talk peace,” he answered without hesitation. “In the name of my youngest.”
“He’s not truly yours though,” Farbauti soothed as she began pacing to the side. “Truly… he was never yours,” she continued as she faced the scriptures plastered against the icy wall.
“Whether he is mine by birth or blood is irrelevant,” Odin replied as he stepped forward to stand at Farbauti’s side as his gaze followed the scriptures. “What matters is… I claim him as mine, and there’s nothing in this lifetime that will say otherwise.”
“Yet as a father, you failed,” she continued as she alluded to the strained relationship between himself and Loki.
There was no malice in her words, but Odin still couldn’t help feeling hurt. “And you failed as a mother,” Odin answered after a moment. “But that doesn’t mean… that we have failed,” he added quickly. He could tell, that Farbauti was getting to respond and realised, that anything she was going to say would amount to less than amicable. “It means, we just have to work harder… in his name.”
“His name,” Farbauti noted after a moment’s silence. “I was going to name him Logi,” she said with a short smile.
“Fire,” Odin answered with a small smile. “He was a fiery being… passionate about seidr and knowledge.”
Farbauti nodded once more. This time, she too returned a small smile. “Tell me, Odin… son of Borr, what possessed you to raise a Jotun?” she asked.
His brows narrowed as he let a sigh loose. “A purpose,” he noted with a small chuckle. “Always started with a purpose... many moons ago, I thought of how I would unite the two realms… but that was a memory discarded with days… and within those days, I found it hard not to love that wee boy… How could I not when innocence and mischievousness were intertwined as one?”
“And so, you chose to hide the pain of his heritage by completely disregarding Jotuns as a whole,” she said as she realised where Odin’s thoughts were heading.
“Amongst other things, I saw a young scholar… with dreams that could not be contained to Asgard itself… I became feral and possessive. I treated my son differently because I knew… that once he was to leave Asgard… there would be no stopping him if he was to ever find out the truth,” he said callously. “I was an old man… with a frail conquered heart,” he added quietly.
“Stopping him?” she asked curiously.
“You must have heard of his titles,” Tyr piped from behind. He could tell that Odin had reached a point of staleness. He could feel the struggles brewing when conversing about such matters. “There are those that call him The Scourge of the Nine Realms, The God of Mischief, The Trickster God, The God of Lies and The God of Chaos… all titles, in one way or another… leading to destruction.”
“And which title do you believe suits him best?” she asked idly.
“The Dark Prince,” Lorelei chimed. “it is the only title bequeathed that he verily accepts. The portrayal of evil, good and loyalty delved into two words…. Dark Prince.”
“A fitting title indeed,” she commented with a short smile before turning to face Odin. Her hand was open and raised. “To a new beginning… to a brighter future.”
He marvelled at the hand in front of him. It was blue and he verily knew that a hidden secret would come to life. He knew that this day would come. Honestly, he truly did not mind, after all, the older generation of Asgardians knew of his heritage.
“For Loki,” he answered in a firm tone. Without any hesitation, he grasped her hand. To his expectations, he heard a muffle of gasps echoing through the great halls.
His hands, like, Farbauti’s glistened against the coveted bluish ice. Like her, he was now blue as well.
“So, the scriptures in the archives were true… Son of Bestla… daughter of Bolthorn… kindred through the blood of Ymir,” answered Farbauti as she pulled her hand back gently.
“Yes,” Odin answered. He could have turned back to his Aesir form but found that he truly did not care. He expected Tyr to be unfazed as he and the other council members knew the truth. Yet, he was pleasantly surprised that Lorelei did not react. Instead, she had an amazed gaze of wonder, as if a question had been answered. “Your children knew,” he noted as he turned to face Farbauti.
“They did… truly, we all suspected… but books are books after all. Entertaining the idea seemed so strange… but it’s starting to make more sense now. How you were able to raise a Jotun masked around as an Aesir,” she noted.
“My wife… she was the true hero,” Odin answered with a nod. “And Loki… well, between the two of us, he favoured her more… and rightly so,” he continued with a shrug of his shoulders.
She wasn’t sure what came over her. Something was amiss as her loosened posture became suddenly more rigid. The idea that there was another woman that Loki would call mother strained her beating heart. Yet, against the rushing thoughts she found herself smiling. “Then, the Queen is worthy… to tame and love a Jotun is no easy feat.”
“Yes,” Odin answered with a short smile. “She misses him dearly… too dearly.”
“There is nothing wrong with being attached to a child. It is righteous… after all, what parent wants their child to go before them?” she asked.
“Aiie… but it is more than that… more significant,” Odin commented.
“Oh?” she replied. Suddenly, it dawned on her that Loki was a Jotun in Asgard. “Asgardian cultures couldn’t control him… could they? To be honest if the rumours of his feats are true… I doubt anyone could control him.”
“Bequeathed with the title of being known as the God of Chaos… it’s to be expected,” Odin noted with a short smile.
“And so… Loki was more comfortable with the Queen… than yourself,” Farbauti noted. A mother’s love is deep, she mused as her heart began pulsing at a tempo, she wasn’t ready for. A choice hung in the air and Farbauti knew that such truth would break or make Odin whole. A path of uncertainty… or a pained path of certainty, she mused quaintly. She wasn’t entirely sure if it was her voice, or whether she was under an enchantment. “What would you do… if Loki was alive?”
Her voice was raggedy and Odin could tell that something was wrong. “I do not understand the question,” he answered in a low tepid voice.
Loki is dead, he mused firmly.
“Mother,” Helblindi noted. “Per-”
“What would you do if Loki was alive?” she reiterated as she ignored Helblindi’s plight. “What would you do if your son was alive?” she added in a gentler, but piercing tone.
“That’s enough,” Tyr murmured from the side. “We come here with good intentions… for you to talk in such manners?” he seethed.
“A question... is a question… it must be answered with an answer… not another question, Lord Tyr,” Farbauti answered with her gaze never leaving Odin’s expressive state.
“I would tell him I love him,” Odin answered. His voice was soft and weak.
“Is that all?” Farbauti asked softly.
“I would tell him… that I am sorry,” Odin answered in that same soft and weak voice.
Farbauti nodded as she began pacing nervously.
“Farbauti?” Odin queered as he cautiously eyed her idle son’s looking on with concern.
“Now… what would you say, if I was to tell you that Loki is alive?” she asked.