The New Normal
“Babe have you seen Tommy’s new ball? I thought I saw it by the garden last but it seems to have magically disappeared” you call out to your wife as you open the back door.
Silence.
With a frown, you look around the room, confused about where your wife had gone. You had just seen her in the kitchen from the window. Where was she?
As you walked further into the house, everything was in disarray. The dining room table was flipped onto its side, with its chair thrown all about. The picture frames and decorations that provided such warmth to your walls were now littered on the floor. There were obvious signs of a struggle, but the silence was unsettling.
You hear a shuffle, before a loud crash near the front of the house.
“Wanda!” you call out again, much louder. You walked cautiously around the broken glass and followed the source of the sound.
You walked slowly, silently cursing yourself for not bringing a weapon if this was a violent intruder. You tense your body when you see a figure, but immediately recognize who it is from the brown hair. You see your wife standing with her back turned to you - completely still.
“What happened, are you okay? It looks like a tornado went just through the house” you say to your wife who has yet to move. “What’s wrong” you get closer. No reaction. placing a hand on her shoulder, you continue “Baby why a-”
She jerks her body away from you as if you’ve just burned her. Her body hunches over, a loud groan escaping her body.
“Hey, what happened? Do you need a doctor?” you say worriedly. However, as you tried to approach your wife again, it seems she has other plans.
“D-don't come near me” she grunts out. “Just stay away”
“What do you mean stay away, something’s clearly wrong. Just let me help you” you walk closer. You have no idea what is happening to her, she had shown no signs of anything being wrong earlier. She lets out a pain-filled cry, before falling onto her knees. The way her body was shaking is starting to scare you.
“Wanda” you yell out, running to her side in an instant. “Tell me what’s wrong, how can I help”
“Get away from me” for the first time she’s looking at you and shock filled your face as you see her eyes were completely red. Tears begin to fill her eyes as she pleads for you to stay away. And before any more could be said she grabs her head in pain, letting out another cry. “It hurts so much, I can’t stop her”
“Stop who? You’re scaring me Wanda I don’t understand what’s happening”
“Grab the boys and run. Get very far away from here” she grits from between her clenched jaw. She’s leaning forward, digging her head into the floor. Her body was shaking even more than before. “Please Y/N, I’m not strong enough” your heart breaks from how defeated she sounds.
A faint “I’m sorry” was all you heard before her body suddenly stills. She stands and begins walking towards the back as if forgetting your very existence from beside her. Quickly, you get to your feet and grab her before she can make it to the door.
“I think that I deserve an explanation. What the hell is going on?” you raise your voice slightly, feeling whiplash from the emotional roller coaster you were just on. The house is trashed and Wanda is just walking away as if she wasn’t just breaking down on the floor. You needed answers. Now.
Wanda whips her head around, looking at the hand gripping her wrist with disgust. When she meets your eyes, you see a flash of red before her eyes return to normal.
“Let go of me” she demands.
“Wanda, please. I need you to talk to me” you plead with your wife.
“I don’t care what you want. I need to see my children” she says coldly. “Now let go”
“Why are you treating me like this? What is going on with you?” tears of frustration threatening to spill out.
She gazes into your eyes, before tilting her head. There was so much anger held in them, with the red glow returning as she stared into your soul. Warning alarms were going off in your head, but before you could react a sudden force hit your chest sending your body crashing into the kitchen cabinets.
“Don’t get in my way again” she walks to your limp body and crouches down. “Stay down” whispering softly in your ear before standing up and walking to the door again.
Your head is aching, and you feel the burning sensation as the wooden shards of the cabinet stab into your back - but you knew you had to get to the boys, and fast. When you try to sit up, your body doesn’t move. You try again, and it feels as if there you’re trapped inside of an invisible box, you couldn’t move any part of your body. You hear the door open and immediately start screaming for the boys to run, hoping they would be able to hear you and listen. Tears of frustration cloud your eyes. You felt so useless, you wish you would have reacted faster. The boys should have been your first priority after you noticed how weird your wife was acting. You couldn’t protect now. All you could do is pray that they listened. But then you heard it, they were calling your name - asking where you were and calling out for help. It was at this moment that you wished you had the strength of the superheroes you’ve seen on tv.
You pushed with all of your might, as their voices transformed into loud screams. Somehow you were able to break through the force that kept your body trapped. Ignoring the sharp pain from your ribs as you stood, and ran to the backyard. It was there you saw Wanda, with a crazed look in her eyes, grabbing onto the boys by their arms. They look to you as soon as they notice your presence.
“Help us mama” They cry out.
“She’s not your mother, I am” she says furiously. They struggle in her grasp, somehow finding a way to wiggle out before running to your side.
“Come back to me” she demands, stepping towards you. The boys tighten their grip on your waist as you take a step back. “Now!” you could feel their bodies flinch as she screams.
“You did this. You turned my children against me” she points at you. Her eyes shift wildly from the twins to you. She raises her hand, the familiar glow returning in her eyes.
“Wanda please don’t-” your vision goes completely black. The last thing you heard before passing out was the blood-curdling screams of your children.
Your eyes instantly open, heart races in your chest. Turning over you look for something, anything that could pull you back into reality. You look around your room and recognize the familiar decorations of your bedside table. In front of the lamp, is a picture of Wanda and the boys. It was a good day. You had just come from getting ice cream, as evidenced by their sticky faces. Wanda couldn’t stop laughing as she looked between them. You couldn’t help but capture it on film, wanting to save this memory forever, and it usually only takes one look at the photo to fill you with the same happiness you felt that day. Now it only leaves you with a bittersweet feeling, longing for the life that was destroyed the moment She came along.
Knowing you wouldn’t be going back to sleep today, you go into the bathroom. You move slowly out of bed, hoping not to wake your wife. She’s become a light sleeper, instantly waking from any sudden movements or sounds around her. She deserved all the sleep she could get. For the first time in a while, she looks peaceful as she sleeps and not haunted by the nightmares that have been plaguing her since the incident.
Every night she's terrorized by them and refuses to go back to sleep. She’s been taking everything pretty hard but refuses to accept any help. You wish you could take it all away from her, but you weren’t made of magic. You try to get her to open up but she doesn’t like to go into detail of what the dreams are about. The only thing being able to lull her back to sleep is the sound of your heartbeat. That was all you could offer until she was ready to let you in.
Turning on the faucet, you let the cold water wash over your face. You desperately needed this, you couldn’t even remember the last time you had a moment like this. Complete silence and stillness with just yourself. Looking into the mirror, you noticed the dark circles under your eyes have grown larger.
Between the hotel rooms, family therapy sessions, and the legal repercussions of proving your wife’s innocence for the Scarlet Witch’s tirade, a good night's sleep became a luxury you could no longer afford. You craved the mundane normalcy that your life once had before She wrecked havoc in your lives. But a part of you knew that things could never go back to how they were, and that was a grieving process in itself. It broke your heart to look at your family every morning and all you see is a hollow shell of their former selves.
You’ve had to step up, big time, in order to keep your family together. You had to remain strong even in the moments when you all felt like falling apart. You had to ignore the burning in your eyes as you held Wanda and the boys in your arms while they sobbed.
The boys from the nightmares of witnessing their “parents” fighting, and almost losing you both completely. After the initial shock had worn off, the therapist's office was the first place you went to. It wasn’t easy and trying to explain something to them (that you hardly understood yourselves) was difficult. How do you tell a child that their mother was possessed by a crazy version of herself from another universe? Or reassure them that she would never do anything to hurt them and their family wasn’t falling apart. It was hard… but as time went on they’ve grown to understand and was now in the beginning stage of moving on.
Wanda’s feelings were more complex. First, it was the fear she felt from becoming a prisoner in her own body, unable to stop the Scarlet Witch from committing the most atrocious of crimes. Then came the guilt, blaming herself for how she hurt everyone, especially her own family. She’s haunted by the memories and continues to punish herself for being so weak. She’s afraid of being alone, but too afraid to keep you close. She’s never told you but you could tell by the way she hides in the bathroom after a nightmare. And then by the way she crashes her body into yours after calming herself down and refuses to let go when she’s laying on your chest. She needs to be reminded that you’re still here with her.
“Y/N….” she murmurs your name. Rushing back to the bed, you see her eyes are still closed. You sit beside her leg, and press your hand against her chest. Her face is scrunched up and she’s breathing heavily.
“It’s okay, I’m here,” you say softly, shaking her slightly to wake her from this nightmare. As her eyes open, you see a flicker of red before she abruptly shuts them again. Keeping your hand on her chest, you wait until her breathing has leveled out.
“Open your eyes, babe”
“I can’t do it”
“Yes, you can” you soothe.
“They’re doing it again, I can’t” she urges.
“I don’t care. You can show me, it doesn’t change the way I see you, Wands“
“Can you look away? I don’t want you to see it” before you could respond she continues “I’m not ready for you to see them. Please Y/N” she pleads.
Sighing, you stand up, with your back facing her. You hear the soft shuffling of her feet to the bathroom, before a loud slam and the lock of the door. You should be used to this by now, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.
“I’m going to go wake the boys” walking to the door, you wait for a few seconds hoping to get a response, but to no avail. The water faucet turns on. You understand she needs time alone, but you wish she didn’t feel the need to hide or push you away.
…
Walking into the hallway, the bare walls were unsettling - a stark contrast from the house that was meant to be your forever home. You’ve only been here for two weeks, hoping this house could provide the fresh start that you all desperately needed. You couldn’t wait for the moment of peace so you could finally decorate and make it feel more like a home.
As you approach, you see the door is slightly cracked. Peering in, you were surprised to see a blanket fort between the beds. There were whispers underneath the contraption, then a soft click. Gasps of surprise followed as a muted shine of light threatened to break through the blankets and onto the ceiling. It was then that you decided to make your presence known. Crouching down, you created your own entrance and crawled into the fort - you were amazed at what you saw.
The boys were sitting across from each other, with the 3D light projector in the middle. Colorful dots decorated the top of the fort, slightly brightening the dark interior.
“Isn’t it cool Mama?” Tommy asks with a grin.
“So cool” You and Billy continue to look up in amazement. “Who’s idea was this?”
“Billy’s. He said something about lights and…” he trails off. “I don’t really remember but I built the fort all by myself” he finishes with a proud look.
“Well don’t I have the smartest boys in the world” grabbing the boys by the shoulders, you pull them into your body. They let out a laugh from the sudden movements. “I’m so proud of you”
“Do you think Mom would like it too?” Billy asks shyly.
“She would love it” ruffling his hair.
“Is she up now?” Billy starts again.
“Yeah, we wanna show her” Tommy finished bluntly.
Your heart clenches as you think of the best way to answer this without breaking their high spirits. You knew Wanda didn’t want the kids seeing her in this state.
“She is, but she’s not feeling too well right now” before their faces can fall you continue. “But what do you say we make breakfast today? She always feels better after eating one of your famous pancakes” you end excitedly.
“Okay” they shout in agreement and crawl over your lap to exit the fort. Tommy has already run downstairs, but Billy hesitates and waits for you to come out. He looks at the fort worriedly before meeting your eyes.
“Don’t worry, we can keep it up until she’s seen it” hoping this reassures him. He nods with a small smile and grabs your hand. Taking the lead he pulls you out of the room and to the kitchen.
“Finally, I’ve been waiting here for years” Tommy exasperated.
“You are definitely your mother’s son with that level of patience” you joke, but he doesn’t seem to find it funny - still upset for how long it took you to come down. “Tough crowd” looking at Billy who’s suppressing his laugh with his hand.
“Okay my mini chefs, what’s always the first step before cooking?”
“Washing our hands” they answer, before walking to the sink. You grab the step stool and place it in front so they can reach it. “Hands” they flip their hands open wide, waiting patiently for you to squirt the soap into their palms. “Let’s not make a mess this time” you say firmly, not wanting another bubble disaster. After everyone’s hands were thoroughly cleaned you began the tiring task of cooking with children.
You had miraculously finished and plated the food by the time Wanda had come down. You notice her before the boys do. She gives you a smile, but her eyes speak a different story - the warning glint tells you not to press the matter.
“Is this all for me?” she asks, bringing a hand to her chest and feigning surprise. The boys immediately turn around in their seats at the sound of her voice.
“Yeah, we made it all by ourselves” Tommy boasts, erasing all of your involvement. “We even added our secret ingredient so you could feel super good today. Try it now Mom!”
Wanda takes the empty seat next to Billy, across from where you and Tommy sat. Billy grabs the syrup and gives it to his mother with a smile. She gives him a grateful grin as she takes it from his smaller hands. Tommy is leaning over his plate, eagerly awaiting for Wanda to take the first bite.
“Mhmm. This is the best pancake I’ve ever had” she says with a big grin.
“Even better than Mama’s?” you didn’t even need to look up to know who asked that question
“Yes, sooooo much better” she widens her eyes as she exaggerates her voice. She looks between the boys and sees the satisfaction that paints their faces, before giving you a knowing look. Even Billy gives you a grin, that little traitor.
“You heard that Mama, We’re the best chefs in the world” Tommy sing-songs loudly. “You can’t beat that”
“I’ll be a gracious loser, but if that’s really how you all feel then I guess you boys will be handling all the meals in the house from now on” feigning a sigh. “I’ll be looking forward to dinner tonight then” you end, flashing your teeth in a smile.
“W-wait no” they stutter out. “We don’t want that. You already promised we’d have homemade pizza today” Billy attempts to reason with you
“Yeah, that's not fair” Tommy co-signs.
“But wouldn’t the ‘best chefs in the world’ want to make it themselves?”
Your question was met by a loud, “Noooooo” followed by “You make it the best”
“Okay I guess I could make it today. And we’ll discuss the new cooking schedule going into the future” you jest, and the boys, believing your every word, look at you in horror. Before you could respond, a giggle filled the air. All eyes turned to Wanda, as she tried to keep her laughter in.
“Mom, make her stop” pulling out the puppy dog eyes that Wanda could never resist.
“I think you may have hurt feelings. Maybe if you say sorry she would change her mind” Wanda suggests. Immediately, you’ve fallen victim to the eyes as they whine apologies.
“Okay, okay you’re forgiven. Just stop looking at me like that” looking towards the clock you see it’s almost time to leave. “But only if you go up and get ready. We have our tour today and then we’ll see Dr. Hill”. They race upstairs in a blink of an eye.
After hearing the door close to their room, you look at your wife for the first time since she woke up. Her face falls after the boys leave, letting her exhaustion show. Her eyes are slightly red and puffy.
“Are you feeling better?” you ask softly. She gathers the plates on the table and walks to the sink, completely ignoring your question. “Wanda can you just try talking to me about it”
“I’m fine, there’s nothing to talk about” she’s already sounding agitated.
“What was your dream about this time?” you press further, hoping to get an honest answer.
“Don’t” she warns, green eyes glaring into yours.
“I want to help you. But I can’t if you keep it all in” trying to defend yourself. It wasn’t your intention to trigger this reaction from her, but you weren’t sure how much more of the obvious tension between you whenever the boys weren’t around.
“Well, have you ever thought that maybe I don’t want your help? If you couldn’t help me then, what makes you think you could possibly help now” she slams the plates into the sink, the sound ringing through the air. Her eyes flicker red. When she sees the look of hurt on your face, she closes them and faces down. Taking a deep breath, she attempts to calm herself. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that” you don’t believe her, and you’re sure she doesn’t believe it herself. But she makes no move to change your mind otherwise and just goes back upstairs without a word.
Your eyes sting from the tears that were threatening to fall, but you were determined to keep them in - to keep it all in. This wasn’t the first time she’s hurt you and judging by the current course, this wouldn’t be the last. You couldn’t dwell on it, you had to remain strong. She just needed some more time, and before you know it you’ll have your wife back. The sweet, loving woman you fell in love with, the one who would have never raised her voice at you. Wiping your eyes roughly, you put on a smile as if nothing could hurt you.
As you walk upstairs you hear the boys talking animatedly. You also hear Wanda’s gentle voice as she asks questions about the fort they’ve built. You’re thankful that their relationship hadn’t taken a toll after the incident, but you couldn’t say the same for your marriage. Walking past the door you walk to your bedroom, and prepare for the day ahead. You just need to be patient and things will go back to normal.
…
One school tour later
You’ve just arrived at Dr. Hill’s office.
“How did the tour go?” Dr. Hill inquires.
“Good,” you say simply. The tour was a bit hectic as the boys wanted to explore every part of the school, but you thought it went well. “Much better than we expected”
“How do you feel about your new school?” she poses the question to the boys, encouraging them to share their honest opinions.
“I liked it a lot. There were so many rooms and the playground was HUGE” Tommy rambles, before listing off everything he liked.
“What about you Billy?” Dr. Hill looks at the boy, inviting him to share his feelings.
“It’s a little scary,” he hesitates. “What if no one likes us?”
“What’s not to like about us, we’re the coolest kids around” Tommy tries to reassure his twin. “And if they don’t, then who cares. We don’t need anyone else, we’ll always have each other” always the optimist.
“I’m worried about that as well” Wanda starts before Dr. Hill could comment on what they said. “About the other children’s reactions and how they’ll adjust. I still think we should homeschool them for another year or two”
You fight the urge to roll your eyes, you couldn’t believe that Wanda was doing this again and in front of the boys. She had already agreed to give it a try during the last session, so why is she suddenly changing her mind the day before they set to officially start?
Grabbing both of their hands you look between them. “We would never do anything that you aren’t comfortable with. We know that moving to a new place is hard, but we think this school could give a fresh start. You could meet new friends and be around kids your own age again, rather than be with your boring moms all day” you joke, hoping to get a smile and it works. “All we ask is that you give it a try for a day. And if you don’t like it we can look at other options” hoping this soothes any worries they have.
“Was there anything about the school that you liked or that made you feel excited?” Dr. Hills asks, wanting to focus on the positives they took from the tour.
“T-there are clubs. The music club meets in a big room and there are so many instruments” Tommy gets out, eyes shining in interest.
“Which instrument was your favorite?” Dr. Hill asks enthusiastically.
“The piano. I even got to play it” a smile on his face as he recalls the memory
“That’s great Billy, maybe you can join the club tomorrow. What about you, Tommy?” turning her attention to the other boy.
“BASEBALL” he yells with excitement. “I’ve been practicing with Mama outside. I can’t wait to play on a team”
“I could join too” Billy declares, but with much less interest. You could all tell which club he really wanted to join but knew the thought of being away from Tommy was holding him back. Dr. Hill gives you a knowing look, this was a conversation for next time.
“That sounds like fun. And if tomorrow goes well then maybe a trial period of two weeks should be enough time to make a definite decision” everyone nods except Wanda. “Okay well, I’ll see you next time. Good luck at school tomorrow”
The boys run out of the office, already memorizing the way out and eagerly wanting to play with the toys in the waiting room. You stood with Dr. Hill and Wanda, a few feet away from where the boys were.
“I know it’s going to be hard letting go, but I think you are making the best decision by putting them into this school” Dr. Hill says in an attempt to reassure you (mainly Wanda) that you were doing what’s best for the boys. “How have they been since our last session?”
Wanda has a far-off look, completely ignoring the question asked. Her eyes are trained on the boys, following their every move as if she’s afraid of them leaving her sight. “Better” you start and Wanda walks the moment you open your mouth. She joins the children as they attempt to build a tower with the blocks.
You let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding. “It makes me so happy to see that they're doing much better. Not completely back to how they were before but it’s getting easier”
“What about you and Wanda, how have you been?” the golden question.
“The opposite,” you say with a bitter laugh. “For every step forward with the boys, it feels like our relationship takes 5 steps back. I don’t know what more I can do. She just won’t let me in” you confess, for the first time you’re able to speak your mind freely. “I just wish things would go back to normal”.
“I know it’s a lot. What you all experienced was very traumatic, something no one outside of your family would be able to truly comprehend. The path to healing won’t be easy but you’re stronger together than you are apart. Just look at those kids of yours, they didn’t even talk or smile when I first met them. Now look at them, that’s genuine joy and it’s all thanks to you and Wanda. Sticking by their side in spite of what happened and proving that nothing could break your family apart” you look at your family proudly.
“But you have to let go of the idea that things could ever go back to how they were before” your eyes widen as you look back at her. “I can tell that you’ve kinda put your feelings and emotions on the back burner as you aid your family along their healing process. You’re neglecting your own in hope that by the end of their journeys, your life would go back to normal. Unfortunately, that may never happen, and having an expectation that it will be your motivation for going on will only lead to disappointment.”
You take a shaky breath, knowing she was right deep down. You knew things would have to change, sooner rather than later - you didn’t know how much more you could take before you finally broke. Your eyes wander to Wanda. She genuinely looked happy with the boys. You knew the moment the kids left her sight she would go back to looking like she was barely hanging on. Everything was always easier said than done.
Dr. Hill follows your gaze, “There’s no guidebook or one size fits all method to this, especially when in Wanda’s case. You just have to remain patient. She’ll come to you when she’s ready” instantly reading your mind.
“Okay” you give her a small smile, thankful to have someone you could talk to.
“Y/N come on” Wanda calls out to you, walking with the twins out the door.
“Everyone was affected that day, including you. Please don’t forget that. Take care of yourself”
“Thank you again, Maria, we’ll see you soon”
…
“Is everyone ready for bed?” you ask aloud, already knowing the answer you were gonna get. Groans filled the air. “Sounds like you’re ready to me. Come on, get in bed”
The boys each jump into their respective beds. You and Wanda continued on with the bedroom routine. You tucked Tommy into bed and pressed a kiss into his head, before switching places with Wanda who’s done the same to Billy.
“Are you sleeping with us tonight?” Billy asks with a yawn.
It falls on you to answer as Wanda begins picking at her fingers.
“Not tonight buddy” you say apologetically. “But we’ll stay until you fall asleep”
“Okay” they agree, too tired to argue.
The soft snores filling the air signaled that it was time to return to your own room. You stand and begin walking to the door. Wanda is still sitting on Tommy’s bed, reluctant to leave. You know that she’ll go in her own time.
After taking a quick shower, you practically melted into bed the moment you got in. Laying on your side, you pull out your phone - wanting to play games until you get tired. You hadn’t even heard Wanda enter the room, and considering the current state of your relationship you think this was intentional.
“It’s been a long day” you say, not knowing if you’d get a response at all but wanting to try.
“Yeah, I’m happy to be home” she replies with tired eyes.
“What did you think of the school, honestly?”
“I loved it. The teachers that we’ve met so far seemed amazing and the smaller class sizes would help with Billy's anxiety. But…I’m scared. Of what could happen to them the moment they leave this house” Wanda says nervously, picking at her fingers again.
“They’re going to be okay” you grab her hand, giving it a soft squeeze. “I worry too, but we owe it to them to at least try. You saw how excited they were during the tour” you smile, hoping the memory of the event could provide her with as much comfort as it did to you.
“Plus you have to admit it will feel good to have afternoon naps that last longer than 10 minutes without the fear of the house burning down” you jest.
“Yeah it will. I wonder what we’re going to do all day”
“Whatever we want” you smirk, a devilish look in your eyes. Leaning forward you whisper in her ear “Maybe we can start making baby #3”
“That’s definitely not happening anytime soon” she pushes you away with a laugh. You pout. “I’m serious detka, we’re hanging by a thread now” she says seriously, effectively draining the playful mood shared between you.
“Maybe, if we talk more we could-”
“Goodnight” she cuts you off and pulls her body away. Before you could respond, she turns off her lamp and lays with her back facing you. That could have gone worse, at least she didn’t yell at you this time.
You don’t know how long you spent just staring into the darkness of your room, but this night ends just like the others. Even when things are tense, you always wait until Wanda has fallen asleep before letting yourself do the same. Just in case she ever needs you, though it seems she doesn’t anymore. You close your eyes and sleep to the rising and falling of Wanda's chest.
.
Your slumber was interrupted by tossing and turning from beside you.
You hear Wanda begin to mutter in her sleep as her hands clench the sheets under her grasp.
“Wanda, baby” you call out softly.
“Please, don’t hurt them” she pleads, still trapped within the nightmare.
Sitting up, you turn on the lamp. Getting a better look at your wife, her face is in distress with sweat covering her forehead. You’ve never seen her this way before and instantly knew that you needed to wake her now. Shaking her body, you call out to her again. “We’re safe baby, please open your eyes for me”
This seems to do the trick and as she opens her eyes, and for the first time you are greeted with the red glow, in all of its glory. The adrenaline from her nightmare still plaguing her body as her chest rises and falls with a quickness. She sits up wildly, searching around the room for something. Pulling her body into you until her head rests against your chest, you knew this was the only way to prevent the start of her panic attacks after these types of dreams.
“Detka” she cries out. “The boys, where are they? I need to find them”
She attempts to thrash away from your grip, but you don’t let her go. “They’re okay, I promise. Today’s a big day for them, remember it's their first day” You shush her, rocking your body as you remind her of the day’s schedule. Silence fills the air, and when you felt her breaths calm down you thought she had fallen back to sleep once again.
“Y/N, please. I need to see my babies” she begs, her voice so small and broken. Looking down at her, you see that her eyes have returned back to normal.
“Okay” you give in, knowing how much she needs the reassurance. “But, we can’t wake them or else they’ll never go back to bed” you say lightly, in hopes of gaining a smile from Wanda but all you hear in response is Wanda rushing out of the room like a woman on a mission.
Sighing, you get out of bed and tread to the hallway. As you approach their room, you see Wanda is already sitting on the bed, slowly stroking Tommy’s cheek before moving to Billy’s. It looks like they migrated into the same bed after you left the room. Ever since the incident, they’ve reverted to sleeping in the same bed again. As you enter, you approach the window that overlooks the beds and adjust the digital baby monitor you’ve had to purchase since moving into this new house. After the first night of waking up to screams of horror, you both wanted to ensure their safety from the convenience of your room.
You could still remember the glare you received from Wanda when you mentioned the idea of returning to your bedroom at night instead of sleeping with the twins for a night. You would have thought that you said the evilest thing in the world from the way she refused to speak to you for the rest of the day. It wasn’t until you brought it up again with their therapist that she had actually agreed it would be better to start the transition now that you were in a new city.
Wanda was reluctant to agree but only under the condition that cameras were installed around the house in case something happens. You didn’t think that you needed to do something that drastic yet, so you both eventually compromised with the baby monitor. It hasn’t even been a full week yet, but the boys were handling it far better than you had expected. Ever since the move, they’ve taken things even better than you and Wanda had. It made your heart swell with love when you saw how peaceful and carefree they looked as they slept.
Wanda leans forwards, pressing a kiss onto each of their cheeks before standing up. She lets out a shaky breath, reaching out for your hand now that she’s been able to believe that her family was safe. You grab her hands and guide her back to your bedroom.
As you lay back down in bed, you could tell something was still preventing Wanda from fully relaxing again.
“What’s going on in that head of yours?”
“I… I don’t understand these dreams. It's a life that’s so different from mine, one without you or the boys. And it scares me so much” she confesses, her grip tightening on your hand. “I don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost this, lost you. Each night I’m reliving the same nightmare that always ends with me alone, with everyone around me dead”
You kiss her head and rub her back.
“What if she’s still inside of me? And I try to hurt you or the twins again, I would never forgive myself” she says frantically, working herself up again. This was the first time she’s ever explained what her nightmares were about.
“Wanda look at me,” you say firmly, before grabbing her hands. “We are safe, and you are safe. The tests have all confirmed that she is gone and she’ll never come back. You’re my wife, and the mother to the best kids in the world. I know you’ll never do anything to hurt our family. And I will never let anything happen to you or the boys, again” you speak with so much conviction that it springs tears in Wanda’s eyes.
“It won’t be easy but soon we’ll heal from this, and it’ll become a distant memory. Our love is strong enough to get through this, but you can’t bottle it all in. I need you to trust and let me be there for you, for however long it takes. You’re not alone and you’ll never be as long as I’m here”
“Okay” she sobs out. “Don’t ever let go, I’m afraid of what I’ll become if you did. I can’t do this without you”
“Never. I’m not going anywhere” you promise.
You don’t remember how long you spent holding Wanda until all you heard was her soft snores. You look towards your alarm and instantly know that your time to rest has come to an end. You get up and begin preparing for the day, knowing the boys would be up for school soon. It feels like your body has been moving on autopilot for the past two months, and you had no idea how much longer you could sustain with the current pace of your lives.
The only thing motivating you now was the hope that tomorrow would be better than the day before, and with this glass-half-full mindset, you could see the progress (no matter how slow it feels). Wanda opening up to you was a step in the right direction. You could continue to play the strong and invincible if it meant keeping her from falling apart. You couldn't help but feel a little out of your depth when it comes to her issues. What did you know about magical powers or the multiverse? It was only then that you realized the truth of Maria’s words from earlier. If you were going to be there for Wanda then you needed to accept that things may never go back to how they were. This life is your new normal.