She's not sure why she calls her baby sister at six in the morning trying to make rules for her widows, but she does, and Yelena answers.
And suddenly they're half an hour in, Yelena giving her good ideas and Natasha trying her best to edit them into something even better.
"Make sure to put 'no disappearing acts', things happen."
"No disappearing acts, yeah." Natasha echoes, writing them on the notebook paper in neat Russian.
5. No disappearing acts, tell me where you're going before you leave
"What else should I write?" Natasha asks.
Yelena's end is silent for a minutes before she speaks again. "Maybe a personal rule or two, don't make all of them so...rule-ish. Let them know you're not going to severely punish them for breaking a rule like they're used to."
"Ah, okay, you're right." Natasha nods, thinking for a moment before writing down another.
6. No eating all of my ice cream in the middle of the night (I mean you, Annika and Nicola)
She writes down a few more, eventually deciding that was enough. "Alright, Lena, I'm done."
"Read them to me."
She reads the rules to Yelena, making minor edits as she goes:
1. Don't be afraid to ask for help, I will not be upset
2. I won't get mad at you for being sick or injured, you're still useful
3. No hurting yourself, others, or me
4. No handcuffs
5. Respect mine and each other's privacy
6. No disappearing acts, tell me where you're going before you leave
7. No eating all of my ice cream in the middle of the night (I mean you, Annika and Nicola)
8. No pushing yourself past your limits
9. Remember that you are safe here
"Is that good? Should I write more or change them or something? I just don't want to leave any room for interpretation in case something happens and they freak out or-"
"Natasha. They're good, I promise. Besides, you can always add more. You're good for them, don't doubt that."
She smiles. "You're really wise, you know that?"
There's a soft chuckle on the other line. "Yeah, obviously."
Natasha laughs in return and they say their goodbyes, Natasha going downstairs to put the rules on the fridge with one of the thousands of magnets Nicola bought from New York, grabbing a water from the fridge. Nicola and Annika sit on the counter tops, talking about where else they should go.
"These rules are...good. I like them." Annika says after reading them.
"Yeah." Nicola agrees. "Except for the one that doesn't let us eat ice cream!"
"I said you can't eat all of my ice cream." Natasha points out, laughing when Annika and Nicola glare at her.
"Can't believe this...this absolute atrocity." Annika says, shaking her head as she sucks down a juice box.
Natasha laughs, making her way back to the couch.
Holland and Aurelia, ever the early risers, come downstairs just after the sun rises. Inessa and Tallulah shuffle after them, hand in hand as they rub their eyes.
Natasha can't, for the life of her, understand why they get up so early.
Natasha smiles as two of them come to join her, Inessa taking up space in her lap and Tallulah curling into her side and resting her head on her shoulder.
"Good morning, ladies. Why do you all insist on getting up so early?"
"I could ask the same of you, you know." Holland replies, searching through the cabinets for something to eat.
Natasha laughs, shaking her head at Holland's sass. "I thought up a few rules over the phone with Yelena's help."
Inessa and Tallulah immediately get up from their places on the couch and Aurelia and Holland's eyes land on the fridge.
Holland scans the sheet of paper and eyes Natasha warily. "What happens if we break them?"
Natasha thinks for a moment, not having asked Yelena what she should do if the rules were broken. "We'll talk about it."
Six sets of eyes look at her like she's crazy. And she supposes she might be, to them, at least.
"'Talk'? That's it?" Aurelia questions. "What about punishment?"
"I won't physically punish you or humiliate you for breaking rules, ever."
"What if we break them on purpose?" Tallulah asks.
"If you break them intentionally we'll just talk about why you felt the need to do that. That, and you'll write lines." Natasha says.
Inessa tilts her head. "Lines? What are those?"
"You'll write the rule you broke a bunch of times until I think you've understood why you shouldn't break the rule. We'll still end up talking about why you broke the rule anyway." Natasha explains.
"Hmm. Okay." Tallulah says with a shrug, and she's goes to decide what to have for breakfast.
Natasha thinks that's all for now but Holland continues to stare at the set of rules on the fridge. Natasha watches her, waiting for her to ask a question.
"Huh. Rules and Reminders for Natasha's Baby Widows." She notes, keeping her eyes on the page.
Natasha nods. "Yeah. I can change it if you want, I know this is all very new and-"
"No, it's fine. I- I like it." Holland says, glancing at the page a final time before going to pour cereal in a bowl.
Tallulah pokes her and whispers something in Russian only the six of them can hear, their eyes immediately flying back to the page.
They all share the same sneaky look on their face and Natasha narrows her eyes from the couch, suspecting they're up to something but also trying to decipher which one they seem to be reading.
"And this ice cream rule...does this apply to all of us?" Holland asks, a mischievous smirk on her face. Tallulah giggles next to her.
Nicola gasps. "Oh, you little traitor!"
"Hey, it was worth a shot!" Aurelia claims, raising her hands in surrender.
Natasha laughs. "I don't want any of you gremlins eating up all of my ice cream."
"Gremlins? That title is offensive, I'm a joy to be around!" Tallulah says, faking offense.
Natasha laughs. "All of you are gremlins, eating up all of my ice cream and then complaining about it when there's no more!"
Holland shakes her head, stifling laughter. "The audacity. Anyway, since there isn't a rule about no ice cream for breakfast..."
"Nope, absolutely not, you little schemers!" Natasha scolds playfully, marching up to the fridge and scribbling, "NO ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST" under the last rule.
"Fine, fine, fine." Holland grumbles, going back to stand in front of one of the many cabinets they've opened. "Fruit gummies, then?" Holland adds on, a hopeful grin on her face.
Natasha throws her hands up in defeat, her girls laughing wildly.
She scribbles another rule onto the paper.
11. GREMLINS MUST EAT REAL FOOD!!!