Melodrama

Misty definitely could not handle this. She had deluded herself into thinking she was capable, she had to, it was all she was useful for after all. If she hadn't used what she learned from her babysitter training the moment the plane crashed, would she be here sitting in front of Shauna's legs, skin freezing and trembling both out of fear and coldness preparing to deliver a fucking baby?

But she couldn't just sit back and do nothing. Look where that got her. This team was her everything. Her everything. She wanted them to need her just as much as she needed them. 

She tried her best, and over-exaggerated almost everything to get where? What was the point, was it even worth it now? Misty couldn't breathe, she couldn't do this. She was losing it the moment everyone desperately depended on her.

Why was she this way? She didn't know, she never understood herself, the closest she got was with Crystal, and now Misty doesn't even know where they stood. She knew she wasn't normal, people don't just call you a freak because they feel like it. Misty was a freak. Abnormal and a waste of breath. She was sure it was unnatural for her to breathe in the same oxygen as everyone else. She didn't belong.

Shauna was screaming her throat raw. Misty, for the first time, since she was a child, was clueless on what to do. This couldn't be happening right now. It can't-

“Misty, what do we do?”

“Should we, like, boil water? That's a thing people do, right?”

“Yeah. Yeah, that's a good idea. We need to keep things clean.”

Everyone circled around Shauna in support, Misty looked around nervously, her mind not totally present in her body at the moment. Shauna’s agonizing screams echoed throughout the room, making it impossible to think or breathe. Misty closed her eyes tightly as the tears began to escape her eyes.

“Uh, these are contractions, right? Should we be timing them or something?” Natalie urged,

“Yeah, that last one was just over a minute. ” Akilah informed, “Is-is that long or short?” 

She found herself incapable of answering, all Misty could hear was this high-pitched ringing throughout her ears as she stared blankly ahead.

“Misty! Should I be timing the in-between or not?” Gen erupted Misty out of her trance,

“Uh, I-I don't know, I just, I-I need to…” 

“Okay, I think when they're this regular and intense, she's in labor labor and the baby is actually coming.” Akilah advised tensely,

Taissa, who was caressing the forefront of Shauna's head, spoke up, “Okay, so it should be over soon?”

“Maybe, but my sister's labor was a day and a half.”

“No. No, I can't take this for a day and a half, I can’t” Shauna proclaimed weakly. She had to be fucking exhausted, and she was becoming pale.

“Yes, you can, Shauna. You can fսcking do anything.” Taissa consoled,

“Of course, you can do it. And we're right here to help. Right, Misty?”

Misty looked at Akilah with uncertainty, “What do you need from me, Misty?” She added.

Everyone surrounded Shauna, clasping their hands together, “Maybe we can share our hopes with each other.” Lottie suggested,

“Wilderness! I hope Shauna doesn't die!” Mari cried, leading Tai to look at her like she was an absolute moron, which was not at all debatable to Misty one bit.

“What the fuck? Why would you say die?!” Taissa scolded, shooting daggers with her eyes. Shauna herself was more scared than anything, “Die?” She whispered fearfully, looking to Taissa once more for reassurement to which she quickly began soothing her friend.

Lottie followed up with more wilderness wiccan bullshit, Misty was too preoccupied with her own thoughts to bring herself to pay attention to that. She felt selfish for it, Shauna should be her number one priority right now, but she felt the need to seek Crystal immediately.

As she looked up, she caught Crystal's eye. She was standing off to the side, looking just as scared as Misty felt. But there was something in her expression that gave Misty ease.

She took a deep breath and turned her attention back to Shauna, whose wails were becoming more desperate.

“Okay Misty, you got this, you can do this.” She whispered to herself, “Hey, you can do this to Shauna, Okay? Just keep breathing.” Misty began an example of a breathing exercise she remembered seeing from sex ed, not even needing to encourage Taissa to do the same. 

Misty slipped her hands under the blanket that was covering Shauna, feeling what she'd assumed to be blood. Her breath hitched as she removed them and saw it on her hands. 

She began whimpering as she held her hands away from her chest, “What's happening?” Shauna cried, looking over her plump stomach. “Something feels weird!” She added faintly.

Misty's face twisted in emotion, experiencing something otherworldly as the tears streamed down her cheeks. She was lost in a haze, her brain drifting off as her emotions took hold. Everyone was looking at her. 

Crystal was going to abandon her, wasn't she? Like everyone always does.

Shauna wailed once more, and Misty felt like dying. She and Crystal both had planned on how they were going to deliver the baby, so why was she just standing off to the side? Did she not want anything to do with her anymore? Misty knows that Crystal said she wouldn't tell anyone about the transmitter, but what if she was just acting to slip away peacefully?

No, Crystal came back for her when she was lost in the blizzard, she wouldn't do something like that, would she?

“Misty, snap out of it!”

“Do you feel guilty?” 

“Misty, what is happening!?”

“You are the only real friend I've ever had too, you know.” 

“I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.” Misty spoke out, like a broken record, marching away into the kitchen.

“Misty, What the fuck Misty?”

“Misty, where the hell are you going?”

“Misty!”

All complaints were ignored as she stared outside through the window. Misty gripped the windowsill to get a hold of herself. The pregnant woman's wails faded as her thoughts consumed her entirely.

“You’re such a freak!” She chastised herself as she sobbed while pacing.

Misty's inner turmoil grew as she continued to berate herself. She tried to just ignore it, but the words clung to her like an insect to styrofoam. This was all expected of her, she could never measure up.

“There's- It's all your fault! There's just something wrong with you.”

Thoughts of inadequacy and failure raced through her head as she paced back and forth. She just always got in the way. She was an obstacle blocking the path to righteousness, for both herself and others.

“You always do this!”

Every means to self-encouragement just felt hollow and meaningless.

“Misty! Where are you?” Lottie shouted.

She jumped back to awareness, Lottie’s gaze defying all the stress she felt. “We need you here.”

“I was supposed to do this with Crystal. We had a plan. We- we were, she was gonna- and- and I was gonna- And we were gonna do a song, Lottie!” Misty bawled, powerless at her attempt to form a full sentence.

“We were gonna do a song!” She helplessly broke down. Lottie placed her hand on Misty's chest in an attempt to guide and ease her back down from whatever emotional slope she fell from. The taller woman tried to nurture and convince Misty to come back and deliver that baby, but Misty just couldn't.

“Misty?” Crystal said while entering the corridor.

She took a step closer, hesitating for a moment before placing her hands on Misty's shoulder. "I'm here," she said softly. "I won't leave you alone."

Misty looked up at her, tears streaming down her face. "I'm sorry," she managed to say through her sobs. "I just...I can't do this."

“Misty, you are here with us.” Lottie paused for a moment, “And you can still save Shauna.”

“You can save our baby.”

Crystal tried to interrupt “Misty-”

“Fuck off, Crystal!” The blonde shouted at her, leaving Crystal stunned and crestfallen. The optimistic theater kid slowly made her way back to the others, disheartened.

Misty looked up at Lottie, ”You’re right.”

“Yeah?”

“Uhuh, Yeah, yeah.” Misty adjusted her glasses and drifted back to Shauna. She froze for a second, taking in the sight, gracing Crystal with a brief apologetic look.

“The placenta is out, but the baby’s still not coming, and she's bleeding a lot.” Aki notified her. Misty pushed her away softly and took back the place she sat before. Misty panted nervously, but with more determination this time around, “Are you sure you're good now?” Akilah questioned, looking hopeful yet hesitant.

“I’m great.” She replied, swiftly assessing Shauna's condition.

“Please don't let my baby die!”

“Okay, just push, Shauna.” Misty directed, “I know it hurts, and I know this is hard, but you need to focus and you need to push. You are so close to being on the other side.”

She smiled at Shauna with the most hope she could muster, “And then, you get to meet your baby.”

Misty started up the breathing exercises once more, “You got this.” she repeated a few times, unsure if she was talking to herself or the other woman.

Minutes passed by excruciatingly, Misty was still with Shauna, guiding her through labor as most of the others circled around the fireplace chanting the mantra,

“We hear the wilderness, and it hears us.” On repeat. She gazed over at Natalie, who seemed defeated, and Tai, still clasping onto Shauna's hand, hesitantly joining in on the chant. 

Words of reassurance fell from their lips as Shauna continued to push harder than she ever had. 

“Okay, I’m palming the head!” She announced excitedly, “Alright, you're almost over this, Shauna! Come on, just a little bit more.”

And so she did.

When Misty felt the infant in her hands, she knew something was wrong.

__

Shauna woke up and immediately looked amiss. 

“What did you do?” She repeated desperately, the girls were quick to comfort her, well as best as they could, there wasn't much anyone could say or do at a time like this to ease a woman who had just lost her baby.

Taissa cradled Shauna’s face “You lost a lot of blood and you were unconscious, we thought we lost you.” She said tearfully.

“What? Where is he?” Shauna looked around, searching, “Why are you lying? Why are you lying?! Where is my baby, Tai? Where is he?”

Misty picked up the infant, ”I’m sorry, Shauna, I’m sorry.” Misty said, handing her the baby. 

“I’m sorry Shauna, he didn’t make it..” Taissa added mournfully.

Shauna babbled on, looking at them all with her eyes brimming with tears. Everyone was at a loss for words. Once she fully realized that he truly was gone, she sobbed so hard that her body shook with the force of it. Her heart must have felt like it was breaking into a million pieces, and Misty couldn't imagine the pain she felt.

It was utter devastation. It was like Shauna's entire world had just.. broken. Her tears streamed like a dam had collapsed, her sobs wracking her body with each breath. The grief was overwhelming to watch as she held onto her baby for dear life, knowing he was no longer there.

“I can still hear him crying! He’s hungry, don't you hear him crying?!” The brunette wept.

Most of the girls took that as a sign to leave her alone with the ones she was closer to.

“Why can't you hear him crying!?” She cried on, Both Tai and Misty tried to embrace her, but she just pushed them away. She was in denial, not uncommon for women who go through stillbirth to Misty’s knowledge. 

Misty took that as her cue to join the others. She found Crystal sitting on the floor in the back room and immediately fell into her arms, eventually breaking down. It was apparent that the tragedy had hit them all pretty hard, Crystal too had watery eyes. Down the hallway, she could see Coach on the floor with his hands over his ears, and a group of lowerclassmen huddled around each other as they cried into one another.

“It’s all my fault, Crystal, everything, I fuck everything up.” She cried into her chest, clinging to her side.

“No, Misty, It’s not, No one’s going to blame you,” Crystal assured, holding her friend tight.

Cries from everyone could be heard echoing along the walls. This had to be a nightmare. Misty put them all in this position. It was all on her.

Moments passed as they clung to each other. Crystal’s hands were tangled in Misty’s hair and Misty herself grew limp in her arms. 

She slowly pulled away, sniffing while looking at Crystal with red-rimmed eyes. “How do we help her? I don't know what to do or say.”

“I don't know, I’m not sure there is much we can do, I don't know about you but I wasn't close to Shauna. I wouldn't want to...'' Crystal trailed off. Misty nodded, understanding well enough. 

She couldn't shake away the feelings of guilt. Misty should have never run off when Shauna needed her more than ever. Misty felt disgusted with herself. After everything that happened with Crystal and now Shauna, she had never felt more ashamed in her entire life.

She wanted to hug Shauna, tell her how brave, how strong she was, but it wasn't her place. She did all that she could. It wasn't enough.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you.” She quietly muttered, moving her hand to rest on top of Crystal’s.

Crystal gave her a sad smile, “It's okay, Misty. You were just scared.”

Misty sniffed and wiped away her tears, trying to compose herself. “I just feel so useless, like I couldn't do anything to help her.”

“You did what you could... You did what you could.” 

No one slept that night.