Chapter 2
Stephen decided it was best to go outside and give the awkward moment a chance to breathe. The coiling tension in his neck and shoulders began to unwind the moment he stepped out into the cool night. Beneath a vast sky dotted with stars, his misstep did not seem so severe. There was still hope for him yet.
A text laden with heart emojis was sent out to Tony.
<3<3I’m outside when you’re ready<3<3
Tony responded with a thumbs up.
“Great…”
Caregivers and Littles began to pour out from the auditorium. Stephen smiled politely as they passed, the Littles chatting excitedly and tugging at their caregivers’ hands. Everyone seemed so happy, so at ease. There was a natural love among these families that Stephen’s analytical mind could not grasp. His own parents had not been withholding of affection, but it was certainly conditional. And prancing about on a stage as leaf would earn him little more than a patronizing pat on the head.
Stephen looked down at the peony bouquet in his hands. This was all a big mistake. I have no idea what I’m doing. Me? A caregiver? How did I ever-?
“Stephen?”
Stephen turned to see Tony waving to him. The man was anxiously nibbling at his bottom lip; eyebrows pulled up in an adorable knit that made him look like a lost puppy dog.
This is why Stephen thought to himself This is why you’re here.
Beside Tony was his beloved Little, Peter. The boy was no longer sucking his thumb, seeming to have switched to the slightly more sanitary option of a pacifier. Stephen could not help but to notice another change; the leaf sweater was long gone, now replaced with a slightly larger one of navy blue. A smiling frog face was plastered across the front.
“Hey…everyone,” Stephen weakly waved back.
Silence. And then…
“Stee-ben!”
The tension was instantly broken when Peter let out a squeal and made a fast toddle toward the doctor.
“Peter!” Tony half-cried, half-laughed as the boy slammed into Stephen, wrapping his arms around him.
“Uh, I…,” Stephen panicked; he had no idea what to do. His eyes went right to Tony with a quiet plea for help.
“I told you he was excited,” Tony said with a shrug. “Okay baby, come on; let Stephen – oh!”
“What? Oh no…,” Stephen looked down at the mashed bouquet in his hands.
“Uh-oh!” Peter laughed. “Uh-oh f’owers!”
“Yeah, uh, it’s a…well,” Stephen heard himself stammer, “it’s an old theater tradition so show appreciation for the actor. Bringing flowers, I mean.” Why are you talking so formally? He’s just a Little!
“Me?” Peter asked with a bright smile, his teeth clutching his pacifier.
“Yes,” Stephen couldn’t help but to smile back. Slowly, he relinquished the ruined flowers, “These are for you.”
“Pwetty,” Peter cooed as he took the offering. “Dah-dee!” He then held up what remained of the bouquet for Tony to see, “Dah-dee! Stee-ben ‘es pwetty f’owers!”
“Peter; can you tell Stephen thank you for the nice gift?” Tony asked.
“Tank-oo!”
“You’re welco-”
“Ned!” Peter let out a sudden screech and began to toddle away. “Ned f’owers!” He approached a heavier set boy that Stephen remembered from the pageant; one of the orange leaves, if he was not mistaken. The two began to happily babble together while Ned’s caretakers watched over them.
“Friend of his?” Stephen asked.
“Uh, yeah, sorry about that. Peter and Ned are like world class besties,” Tony tried to laugh it off, but Stephen could tell he was nervous.
They both were.
“It’s totally fine. But, listen,” he moved to close the gap between himself and Tony. “I’m not going to be perfect all the time, okay? Just please know I’m trying my best; I really want this to work.”
“A doctor admitting he’s not perfect,” Tony smirked, “now I’ve heard everything.”
“Tony…”
“I know, I know” Tony made a quick peck on Stephen’s lips, “and I’m not going to be perfect either. But you want to hear something cool?”
“Yeah?”
Tony looked to Peter.
“Littles don’t need perfection. I made a lot of mistakes with Peter in those first few months. Hell, sometimes I forget that he wants his tractor sippy cup with breakfast and his Mickey Mouse one at dinner.”
“Oh, the humanity,” Stephen deadpanned.
“Right? But he forgives me, and he’s taught me a lot about being patient with others; especially cute doctors who work way too much and wear Burberry scarves to a Little’s pageant.”
“And to McDonald’s,” Stephen sighed.
“Really?” Tony did not sound convinced.
“If it’s important to you and Peter, it’s important to me.”
That statement stunned Tony into silence.
“Oh…,” was all he could manage.
“Stee-ben!” Peter came waddling back as Ned and his caretaker headed into the parking lot. “Stee-ben play?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Stephen began to slowly nod, “actually, I’m feeling quite famish. Maybe we can go someplace where we can play and eat? How does McDonalds sound?”
Peter’s jaw dropped so fast, his pacifier nearly fell from his mouth.
“Dah-dee, pwease?” He looked to Tony with round eyes, “Pwease! ‘N play ‘n Stee-ben Mah-donnah!”
“Of course we can,” Tony smiled as his bubbling boy, “come on, hold my hand, let’s get in the car, okay?”
Tony had sprung for the Little-modified Porsche Cayenne with the built-in reclining car seat and easy-to-clean tray with an iPad mount.
Because of course he did.
“Peter, you want to show Stephen how you get into your car seat?”
“Yeah! ‘Mm big boy!” Peter chirped as he clumsily climbed into the Porsche.
“Yes you are; you’re Daddy’s big boy, huh?”
It was still difficult to hear Tony speak with such a…well, the word Stephen would use was demeaning; a demeaning tone. But that was not right. It was more of a playful voice, the proper sort of voice one should use for a child or Little. Stephen had grown so accustomed to Tony’s wit and quips and Sahara dry humor. To hear it so saccharine sweet, it hit his ear all wrong.
“Let’s get you buckled in,” Tony expertly began to click the five-point restraint in place. “Okay, you wanna watch some Bluey on your tablet?”
“Stee-ben!”
“Honey,” Tony laughed, “no, love bug. Stephen’s going to sit up front with me.”
Peter began to whine and arch his back against the seat.
“Noooo…”
“Yes,” Tony said a bit more firmly, “it’s a short ride over, you’ll live. I’m gonna put on Bluey.”
“I can sit with him,” Stephen said as he watched Peter twist more and more dramatically against his restraints. A melt down was imminent.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah…I don’t mind.”
“Stee-ben?” Peter’s teary eyes looked right at him; pacifier bobbing steadily in his mouth.
“Want me to sit there?” Stephen pointed to the captain’s chair beside the car seat.
Peter gave him a nod.
“Sure, I can do that.”
“Do you need me to help buckle you in?” Tony asked with a sly smirk.
“No, I think I can handle it…”
For all his fussing and crying, once Stephen was settled into his seat, Peter only seemed interested in staring dreamily at the doctor.
“So…you ready to play in the ball pit?”
“Bah,” Peter gurgled, “’n bah ‘n-na side!”
“There’s a slide…?” Stephen attempted to sound confident in his interpretation of Peter’s words, “Yeah, that sounds fun.”
“Dah-dee!” Peter called to Tony, “Stee-ben ‘es bah-nah-nah!”
“I know!” Tony laughed, “Stephen’s funny, huh?”
“Yeah!”
Peter then began to pull books out of the back pocket of the passenger seat and handing them to Stephen.
“Do you want me to read to you?” Stephen asked after the third book, “This one looks good; Harry The Dirty Dog.”
“No…,” Peter said absently as he handed Stephen another book.
“Um,” Stephen met Tony’s eyes in the rearview mirror, “is this normal?”
“I think he’s just showing you all the neat books he has; aren’t you baby?”
“Go buggy!” Peter chirped as he handed Stephen The Very Hungry Caterpillar.
“You want me to read this one?”
“Yeah…,” Peter leaned back into his car seat. Once more, he was looking at the doctor with adoring, half-hooded eyes.
“Okay, let’s see what this one is all about,” Stephen began, “In the light of the moon, a little egg lay on a leaf…”
The drive was just long enough for Stephen to complete the entire exciting tale. Peter remained fully engaged the entire time, counting all the different fruits and cheering enthusiastically when the caterpillar finally became a butterfly.
“Buh-buh-fy!”
“Yeah, butterfly,” Stephen could not help but to smile. “Will you turn into a butterfly after we eat?”
“No,” Peter giggled and kicked his feet, “silly!”
“Finally,” Tony sighed as he backed the Porsche into an open spot, “I was starting to get worried; this Mickey-Dees doesn’t have a drive through!”
Like all businesses in New York, the burger behemoth was forced to make do with a tight space in an old building. A fact that made Stephen somewhat curious about where exactly the petri dish of a ball pit was supposed to be located.
“Mah-Donnah!” Peter began to wiggle in his seat.
“Yeah,” Tony said absently, “hey, Stephen; can you grab the diaper bag for me, please?”
“Sure…”
“What?” Tony laughed, “Scared you’ll look super uncool carrying it?”
“A little bit…yeah…”
The moment Peter’s feet hit the ground, he attempted to run.
“Play!”
“Hey, Peter?” Tony though was quick to grab the boy’s hand before he bolted into the street. “Hold Daddy’s hand when we cross, okay?”
“Kay!”
Stephen felt a tight grip take his own hand and give it a squeeze.
“Oh,” he whispered, looking down to see Peter had slipped his hand into his.
“Hol’on Stee-ben!”
“Thank you, yes,” Stephen smiles, “I’m holding on.”
The play area was held behind a glass wall on the far right of the modest restaurant. Stephen could already spy a few caregivers inside guiding their Littles around the bright plastic structure.
Peter, who was still gripping Stephen’s hand, was babbling happily as he followed his own caregiver into the queue.
“Dah-dee ‘n b’ger an’ play Stee-ben!”
“I know sweetie, but we have to wait in line,” Tony told him. “You want a burger tonight?”
“Yeah!”
“Okay,” looked to Stephen, “what are you having?”
“Whatever you’re getting is fine, I guess. As long as it’s not the fish sandwich…”
“Dah-dee play!” Peter let out a loud cry, “Play!”
“Shhhhh,” Tony struggled not to laugh as he hushed the excited Little, “we have to order first; can you be patient for me?”
Peter put his head down and began to shuffle from side to side.
“Play…,” he cooed.
“If you want, you can take him into the playground thing and I can get dinner,” Stephen suggested. “Really, it’s my treat.”
“No, I need to order for him. He likes his burger a certain way and they always gives him the same toy, so I wanted to see if they have-”
“Dah-dee…”
“I know, I know baby,” Tony sighed. He was not angry, not annoyed, just tired.
Stephen had spent almost no time considering how difficult being the single caregiver to a small Little must be. Tony had money, sure. But that money came from a very stressful career. Billion dollar projects rested on Tony’s shoulders; one false equation and an entire bridge or skyscraper could be dragged back to the drawing board.
And then he had to come home and try to remember if Peter wanted a tractor sippy cup or a Mickey Mouse one with dinner.
Peter let out another sudden screech; the type Stephen had heard a hundred times before. The kind that made him bristle and wonder inwardly Why can’t that caretaker keep their Little under control? What a brat!
“What if I give you my card and I take him to play?” Stephen suddenly suggested.
Tony’s eyes went wide.
“You would risk going into the contamination chamber?”
“I mean, I’m not going near that ball pit. But I can watch Peter play while you get the food. And, please,” Stephen began to pull out his wallet.
“No, no,” Tony waved it away, “if you can keep him entertained until the food’s ready, I mean; that would make my life so much easier.”
“Yeah, I got him,” Stephen turned to the whimpering boy. “Peter, would you like me to come watch you play?”
The look on Peter’s face said it all. Stee-ben, his new bestest friend in the world, was finally going to come play with him!