Shadow of a Villain

Loki Laufeyson - Shadow of a Villain

As my awareness slowly returned, I was overwhelmed by the darkness that enveloped me. It was a struggle to come to consciousness, and my body seemed to resist it with all its might. My heavy eyelids felt like they were made of lead or glued shut, but I persisted in trying to open them. With careful concentration, I flexed the muscles and finally managed to blink them open. The bright sunlight searing through my pupils made me squint, but at least I could see again.

The bright sunlight filtered into the room, creating moving patterns on the ceiling. Through squinted eyes, I could make out the outline of the top of a window on my right and the faint shadows of furniture in the room. The room was bathed in a warm, soft glow, and was silent except for the gentle beeping of some unknown device, steady and unobtrusive. I attempted to move my body, but it refused to cooperate; as if my brain had been severed from my limbs. I took a moment to focus on my physical form, trying to recall the location of each body part.

The taste of metal lingered in my mouth, a mix of the faint flavor of blood and the sterile tang of medication. My dry tongue felt heavy and sticky, as if it had been coated in cotton, and there was a faint scent of disinfectant and antiseptic in the air, mingling with the smell of fresh linens. It reminded me of a hospital, clean and sterile, but the linen smelt of home.

My fingertips tingled as I attempted to wiggle them. My body felt heavy and immobile, as if it was melded to the bed beneath me, but slowly I felt life flex back into my stiff joints. I took a deep breath, the air filling my lungs with a refreshing crispness, and I exhaled slowly, taking in the sensation of being alive. My fingers twitched again, and this time I was able to curl them into a loose fist. It was progress, small but significant.

As feeling started to return to my limbs, so did the pain. It was a dull ache at first, but it quickly intensified until it felt like every inch of my body was on fire. I bit down on my lip to stifle a sob, not wanting to alarm whoever was taking care of me. Slowly, I attempted to sit up, only to be met with resistance from the various tubes and wires attached to my body. I could feel them tugging at my skin as I moved, causing even more discomfort.

“Hey, hey, easy. Take it easy bud.”

My head whipped to the voice. Bucky had risend from a chair next to a bed, my bed, and his hand was pressing me firmly back down. His face was worn with worry and exhaustion, his eyes bloodshot and hair disheveled. His shoulders were slumped with fatigue and his hand that pressed me down was calloused. I complied, slowly lowering myself back down, taking in the sight of my bedroom.

My mouth was dry and tasted of stale breath, a reminder that I’d been unconscious. “How long have I been out?”

He sat back down in the chair, clearly satisfied I wasn’t going to make a dash for it. “About 3 days, give or take.”

I blanched.

“Do you… remember what happened?”

I frowned, trying to recall my last memory. It all came back to me in a flash. The mansion, the rescue, the glint of the syringe as it pierced my skin. My own hand holding the blade, blood dripping from the wound. I closed my eyes, trying to block out the images that flooded my mind as the machine registered the change in my heart rate. “I remember…”

Bucky nodded, his face grim. “You’re back at the tower now. It’s okay.”

I let a few moments pass as I concentrated on breathing, waiting until the manic beeps slowed. My brow furrowed. “I’m not supposed to be here. The serum, they dosed me...”

Bucky raised his hand in a placating gesture, stopping me before I panicked again. “It’s okay. You’re not going to lose your mind... Not that there’s much to lose.” He smirked.

My eyes closed and I concentrated on breathing again. “How…?” I whispered.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Tony’s idea. He was able to work out exactly how the serum spread in your body from the insertion point, then knew how much blood you needed to lose to get it out of your system.” Bucky frowned, his expression far away. “It was a risk. You were already bleeding out from the stab wound. Thor nearly fried Stark multiple times.”

I blinked, processing this information. “I can bleed more than a mortal can before I… die.”

“Yup, that was pretty much Stark’s theory.”

We went silent for a few moments before a thought crossed my mind. “Wait, Stark? Tony saved me? He’s back? How?”

Bucky’s face fell. “Afraid not.”

I blinked, confused. “But…”

“Look, to be honest we don’t really understand either. There's still a part of him in there somewhere, but it's not the Tony we know." He paused for a moment before continuing, "He's like a different person now, relearning who he is, or was.”

We both fell silent, listening to the beeps of the machine.

I went back over the events in my head. “Did everyone make it?”

Bucky glanced at me before looking away. “Everyone except Fury.”

I swallowed a lump in my throat. “And… Amelie?”

He smirked. “Thought that might come up. She’s fine. Bruised, dehydrated, traumatised, but okay. She refused to leave your side you know. After the second day, Bruce had to physically carry her to the med bay.”

A smile found it’s way onto my face as relief washed over me. After a moment, I felt Bucky watching me and met his gaze.

“You did good Loki, you saved Amelie’s life. She told us everything.”

My eyes widened and I shifted uncomfortably. “Everything?”

His gaze darkened. “Anyone working for that group deserved the same fate. You should have seen what The Hulk did to the last guy.”

Looking down, I tried to relax. “I didn’t intend to go… that far. It was just blind anger and desperation.”

“I know.” He smiled. “She forgives you. I had to promise I’d stay by your side until she came back.”

I swallowed and said nothing.

“You’re not a bad person, Loki.” He said firmly. “You’ve made some mistakes in the past but so have we.” He gave me a small smile. “The important thing is that you’re trying to change and do better.”

Bucky's words struck a chord in me, and I felt a sudden wave of emotion wash over me. Guilt, regret, and a sense of determination all mixed together. I closed my eyes briefly, trying to compose myself before looking back at him. "Thank you." I managed to say, my voice barely above a whisper.

He placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "Don't mention it."

We both fell into silence again, lost in our own thoughts. After what seemed like hours, I finally spoke up again. "Do you think... Do you think they'll ever fully forgive me? The Avengers?"

Bucky's expression softened and he gave me a small smile. "I’m pretty sure we all forgave you a long time ago.”

I nodded slowly, taking in his words. Just then, the door to my room opened and Amelie walked in with Bruce following closely behind her.

Her skin was pale and marred with bruises, a harsh contrast to her usually vibrant and lively appearance. Her eyes were heavy with fatigue, dark circles beneath them betraying her exhaustion. My gaze swept over her fragile form, searching for any more signs of pain or suffering. The machines attached to me once again registered the effects on my heartbeat.

Amelie’s face snapped up, her eyes latching onto mine, and she froze. I held my breath, unsure what I was waiting for.

After a beat of silence, she sprinted towards me, throwing herself into my arms and holding on for dear life. The medical equipment tugged and pulled at my skin, but in that moment, I couldn't feel anything except the warmth of her body against mine. My eyes welled up with tears as I held her close, inhaling her familiar scent and feeling an overwhelming rush of love and relief flood through me. Amelie's embrace was tight and desperate, as if she was afraid to let go. I held her just as tightly, never wanting to let her out of my sight again. "I'm so sorry." I whispered into her hair, the words barely audible. "I never wanted any of this to happen."

She pulled back slightly, looking up at me with tears in her eyes. "It's okay." She said softly. "I forgive you."

Her words hit me like a ton of bricks and my heart swelled with emotion. She forgave me? After everything I had done? My eyes flickered to Bruce, who was watching our emotional reunion with a small smile on his face. He gave me a nod of approval and I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. "Welcome back, Loki." He said warmly.

I couldn't help but return his smile as Amelie nestled back into my embrace, holding onto me as if I might disappear again.

"Come on, let's give them some space." Bruce said to Bucky, gesturing for him to follow. Bucky nodded and gave us both a reassuring smile before following Bruce out of the room. Amelie and I were left alone, just the two of us in my small room.

"I thought I lost you." She whispered against my chest, her voice trembling with emotion.

I held her tighter, pressing kisses into her hair. "I'm here now. That's all that matters."

We stayed in each other's arms for what felt like days, just soaking in each other's presence. Eventually, we both pulled away slightly to look at each other properly.

"How are you feeling?" Amelie asked softly, brushing a strand of hair away from my face.

"I feel weak and tired, but otherwise fine." I replied honestly. "How about you?"

"I'll be okay." She said with a small smile, sitting up on her knees and putting a gentle hand to my face. I leaned into her touch. “Tony said we’re both going to be fine.”

I frowned. “How is he?”

Her face fell slightly. “He’s… okay. Bruce isn’t sure if he’ll ever come back fully. He’s quiet, walking around like he’s seeing everything for the first time.”

I pulled her back to my chest. “I’m sorry.”

Amelie and I spent the next few days recovering in my room. We were both declared stable by Bruce, and eventually I was strong enough to venture into the lounge.

I walked slowly down the hallway, grateful to be standing on my own two feet. The sound of laughter and conversation drifted from the lounge, bringing a smile to my face.

Rounding the corner, I saw the Avengers, much the same as they had been when I had first entered the Tower all those months ago. Clint and Natasha were watching TV with Steve, while Bucky sat at the kitchen island, eating cereal as Bruce chatted about something complicated. Tony was absent. Behind them, I could see Amelie sat on the balcony, and I moved through the room to join her. Unlike when I first moved in, however, the others all met my gaze. They smiled and acknowledged me. Even Clint looked pleased to see me. I shook my head in disbelief at how much things had changed.

With a gentle hand, I eased open the balcony door and closed it softly behind me, making sure not to startle Amelie. She was seated facing out onto the city, her delicate strands of hair dancing in the gentle breeze. As she noticed my presence, she turned to me with a warm smile and patted the spot next to her. I sat down slowly, feeling her lean against me, her soft weight a sense of comfort and reassurance.

As we sat there, watching the bustle of the city, I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with emotion. I had come so far since my arrival at the Avengers Tower. From being a villain, scared and lost, to now feeling like I had found a family and a place where I belonged.

Amelie's hand intertwined with mine, her touch grounding me and bringing me back to the present moment. "I never thought I'd find a home here." I whispered, my voice thick with emotion.

“I never thought you’d fall for me.”

I turned to her in surprise. “May I ask why?”

She shrugged. “You’re a God, I’m just a mortal.”

We hadn’t discussed her mortality properly yet, but it was a subject we would eventually have to talk about. For now, we were content with living. “You’re more of a goddess than any Asgardian I’ve ever met.”

That earned me a grin. “That was cheesey!”

“And it’s the truth. When you’re ready, we can discuss it with Odin, but not until then.”

She nodded. “You know, after what happened in Phoenix, I never got to tell you how I feel about you.”

“You don’t have to, just the fact that you’re here is enough for me.” I lifted her hand to my lips, kissing it gently.

She smiled, turning her hand to hold my cheek. “It matters to me.”

As I gazed into her captivating eyes, I knew that she was the one who held my heart in her hands. The sun glinted off of her irises, reflecting like a million stars dancing across a clear night sky. And as she leaned in for a kiss, I couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for this perfect moment. But just as our lips were about to meet, she slowly pulled back and gently placed her fingers to my lips. “I love you, Loki.” She whispered, her voice filled with sincerity and adoration. "I love everything about you - your quirks, your flaws, your imperfections."

I smirked. “I beg your pardon, but I wasn’t aware I had any.”

Amelie's laughter was like music to my ears. It echoed out above the city, filling the air with a contagious joy. I couldn't help but smile as I watched her, taking in every curve of her face and every sparkle in her eyes. Her head leaned back against the bench as she caught her breath, still giggling. All that mattered was this moment - this perfect moment with her by my side. I reached out and gently took her face in my hands, my thumbs caressing her cheeks. “I love you, Amelie. I always have. For you, I would rage war and let the world burn. But I won’t, because the greatest thing you have done for me, is that you have made me want to live.”

Her smile was soft and beautiful, and as I pressed my lips to hers, I knew that I had never been more sure of what I wanted in this life, and any that came after.