Loki Laufeyson - Understanding
Loki Laufeyson - Understanding
Amelie's hurt words pierced my heart like a dagger, as if her pain were my own. I stood frozen, watching helplessly as she hurried from the room, her hair swirling frantically behind her. My pulse raced as my emotions churned within me. Longing warred with confusion, and I yearned to understand her pain, to take away her hurt… but I did not know how.
An awkward cough from Bucky snapped me from my thoughts and I turned to see Tony glaring at me, eyes hard as stone. Accusation burned in their depths and his hurt was palpable.
A pang of guilt twisted my insides.
The decision to follow her came naturally; I needed to comfort her, to offer her solace. My heart raced as I attempted to gather my thoughts, unsure of how to approach her.
I hesitated only a moment before rushing after Amelie.
No one said a word or made a move to stop me.
"Amelie!" My voice echoed through the large, empty corridors of the Avengers Tower as I chased after her. The sound of my boots pounding against the floor reverberated in my ears, punctuating the urgency that coursed through my veins.
As I rounded a corner, I finally caught up to her. Her delicate frame was hunched over, her golden loose-curls cascading around her like a shield. She seemed so small, so fragile, and yet I knew the strength that lay beneath her gentle exterior.
"Amelie." I panted, my breath uneven from the rush of adrenaline. She looked up at me, her eyes wide with surprise, as if she never expected me to follow her.
"Loki?" Her voice quivered, betraying the turmoil of emotions within her.
I swallowed hard, feeling a now increasingly familiar vulnerability creeping through my veins. I had never been one to wear my emotions on my sleeve, but for Amelie, I'd willingly tear down the walls I'd spent centuries building just to save her from a mere moment of pain.
"Amelie." I began, uncertainty suddenly grabbing at me. "I'm... sorry, if you were ever made to feel inadequate. Believe me, I understand." Images of my past failures flickered through my mind. The disappointment in my father's eyes, my jealousy of Thor, the devastation of learning my true lineage. "I know what it's like to feel you're not enough... but you are more than enough, Amelie. You're brilliant, brave, compassionate. You deserve to be loved for exactly who you are."
The words tumbled out in a fervent rush and I scared myself with the word love, carefully going back over my sentence in my mind to make sure I hadn’t slipped up.
Shock crossed her face as she stared at me, eyes wide, and I could see the emotions swirling in their depths; though I could not name them.
"Loki, I..." She trailed off, uncertainty plain on her face. Her eyes searched mine, seeking something I wasn't sure I was adequate enough to provide, but in that moment all I wanted was to offer her solace. I wanted to take away her pain and replace it with the love that had been growing within me since we first met.
My heart pounded, and I knew I had to continue. "You've shown me kindness when no one else would." I said, my voice low and sincere. "You saw light in me when all I saw was darkness. I don't know how to thank you for that."
I stepped closer, searching her face. Her lips parted in surprise, but she did not retreat.
"You've changed my life in ways I never dreamed possible. My world is brighter with you in it." I hesitated, then whispered. "As I am brighter with you."
Shock again flitted across her features, followed swiftly by a blush that crept across her freckled cheeks.
Her eyes searched mine hesitantly, as if she were unsure whether to trust the sincerity that laced my words. I took a step closer, reaching out a hand to brush a stray tear from her cheek.
"Believe me. Please." I said quietly.
She blinked rapidly, as if coming out of a daze.
"Amelie." I whispered, my heart racing. "I have… grown to care for you, deeply. More than I ever thought possible."
"Loki...?" She breathed, her cheeks flushing an even deeper red. I could see the unspoken question lingering in her eyes, and I knew that answering it would change everything between us.
Before either of us could speak again, raised voices drifted down the hall, followed by the unmistakable slam of a heavy door. We jumped, the spell broken.
"Loki!" Steve called suddenly, a note of impatience in his tone.
I sighed. "I should go."
She nodded, a hint of colour still evident on her face, before she turned and hurried off down the corridor. I watched her go, conflicting emotions churning inside me. Our encounter had been brief, but so much had passed between us in those few moments.
I took a steadying breath as I turned and walked down the hallway, my footsteps echoing on the tile. My mind swirled with the short conversation we'd just had. I'd revealed more than I'd intended, almost speaking those words I would never be able to take back.
I cringed inwardly before a small, brave voice spoke up from somewhere in my soul. She had not rejected me.
But then, I hadn’t really admitted anything concretely.
Rounding the corner, I saw Tony standing beside the doors to the stairwell, face flushed with anger. His hands were balled into fists and his eyes blazed.
"Dammit, Loki, what did you say to her?!" He demanded.
I halted, wrong-footed and almost tripping over myself. "Tony, I—"
"I don't want to hear it!" He cut me off. "Just stay the hell away from her."
I stood frozen for a moment, stunned by his venom, bitterness welling up inside me. Of course he would think the worst of me, no matter how I had changed. I was a fool to hope otherwise.
"I would never intentionally harm her, Tony. You have my word."
"Your word means nothing to me." He spat, his eyes flashing with anger. "Just remember, if anything happens to Amelie, it's on you. You know how important this mission is?"
I sighed. “I understand. I won’t let the risks deter me.”
"Okay." Tony continued, his voice cutting through me like a blade. "You understand that going on this mission is dangerous, but do you understand the risk of failing?"
"I do." I replied simply, my voice steady and matter-of-fact. "I understand that failure would mean losing everything – Amelie, the life I've built here, and any chance at redemption."
He frowned. “She’s not yours to lose.”
I pursed my lips. It seemed safest to stay silent.
Tony continued to glare at me before finally huffing in irritation.
“Rogers will fill you in. I need a drink.”