Loki Laufeyson – Jotunn Crush
Loki Laufeyson – Jotunn Crush
I walked with purpose down the corridor, arms stiffly at my sides.
I kept my focus on the sound of my footsteps, afraid to let my mind wander for fear of being overwhelmed by the conflicting emotions racing through me. When I reached my bedroom, I paused before entering and taking in the sight of it. Content I was alone, I closed the door before walking to the bathroom. I put my palms on the counter, leaning forwards as I stared silently at my own reflection in the mirror. I looked down, closing my eyes as I focused on my breathing.
On the first day I’d met Amelie, Thor had teased me about her, playing matchmaker as he had done so many times over the years. I was used to it. He’d never managed to set me up with anyone, I’d always been alone. Now, as I stared at myself again in the mirror, I allowed myself to dwell on what had just happened.
Heat flushed my cheeks as I relived the feeling of Amelie’s body pressed against mine, my mouth falling open as I fully absorbed my situation.
I was developing feelings for a mortal.
I closed my eyes, picturing her wet hair as it had clung to her neck and shoulders. The freckles on her nose were mirrored across her chest and collarbone. I swallowed.
How had this happened?
For a thousand years I’d been content in my solitude, never having the need or opportunity to invite anyone into my life. But Amelie had suddenly breached the walls that I hadn't even known existed within me; she'd filled me with a longing for something unfamiliar yet exciting - acceptance and love. Though frightening, the realisation that I was no longer strong enough to be alone shattered my world. Where once there was nothing but loneliness, now a newfound affection swelled within me. She offered acceptance and adoration, and suddenly I longed for nothing else.
Was I just confusing my feelings? Amelie was the first person in a very long time who had taken the time to know me, had delved deep into my soul in ways that no one else had dared to, so it was possible that my infatuation was merely in response to that. I thought back to the party where Thor had asked if I found Amelie attractive. If I was honest with myself, I had. She’d looked beautiful in that pink dress and I was not the only man in the room who had noticed. I frowned slightly, remembering all the men who had tried to buy her drinks, seemingly bewitched with her elegance and grace, leaving them powerless in her seductive wake. It had not bothered me at the time, but now a burning sensation ignited within me.
Jealously.
I ground my teeth together in frustration. I had never been jealous over a woman before.
My eyes hung heavy, weighed down by the memory of her body against mine. I felt my heart swell with longing as I stared at myself in the mirror . The image of her bare skin lingered in my mind like a pleasant kind of headache. She’d felt so warm, as if the warmth of her personality had physically manifested itself in her body, filling me with a contentment that ran deeper than anything I'd ever known before. I thought of her hands pressed up against me, her chest rising with each breath. Her parted lips practically begging for mine to join hers.
I closed my eyes, letting out a shaky breath. I would not allow my mind to wander any further, I was not the sort of man who created lewd fantasies in my head and I certainly wasn’t going to disrespect Amelie in that way.
Amelie.
Even her name sounded different now, wrapping itself round my conscience like a blanket and sending pleasant shivers down my spine. A smirk tilted the corner of my lip as I recognised Jotnar behaviours in my line of thinking. From what little research I’d done on the subject of relationships on Jotunheim, it appeared that frost giants were quite the romantics. Forming strong emotional bonds with their partners, they often stayed loyal throughout their lives, devoting themselves to only one mate. It definitely seemed better to make the most out of love than to spend your whole existence searching for something you could never find. Maybe that was why I hadn't felt the urge to explore female companionship as much Thor had.
I shook my head.
Not that any of this made any difference to my situation. I was quite certain that I’d lost my right to love when I first attacked this city. Besides, Amelie was a beautiful woman who could have any man she wanted. There would be no room in her life for a criminal, let alone one from another realm entirely. She was an angel of beauty - a woman any man would be lucky to call his own. Fury boiled within me, thinking of her with another. A deep, primal jealousy swept over me when I imagined someone else daring to touch her.
My emotions swelled until they reached a boiling point, threatening to drown me in despair. I welcomed the intense wave of emotion, wanting to be consumed by it and let it take over my very being. It washed over me like a tidal wave, each crest crashing down heavier than before until the darkness enveloped me completely.
I laughed bitterly to myself. Not for the first time since arriving at the tower, I felt decidedly un-god-like.
Standing up straight, I levelled a gaze at my reflection. I would carry on as normal, Amelie’s friendship had been the greatest gift I’d ever been given and one that had ultimately led to better relationships with everyone here.
I was not prepared to lose it for the sake of an ill-fated attraction. I moved to my bed, spotting my kindle sticking out from under a pillow and I smiled as my stomach clenched, imagining Amelie choosing it for me. Attraction did not seem to suit the feeling, but I shook my head. I was afraid to follow that line of thought any further.