Taking Out The Trash
Christine laid in bed, naked and alone, Tony nowhere in sight. The room suddenly lightened as the windows let the Malibu coast and blue skies come through.
Peter focused on the technology in the scene, partly out of respect for the woman, but mostly he couldn’t stop his brain from running through codes and calculations that would go into the window displays.
“Good morning. It’s 7:00 am.”
Tony smiled at the familiar voice. JARVIS had been a constant in his life for years before Vision was created, he was the only one with Tony most days while he was in the suit. He’d made a new AI, FRIDAY, and while he appreciated her he still missed his old friend.
Meanwhile, the voice brought immediate tears to Wanda’s eyes. All she could hear was her beloved Vision, the man she’d loved, who she started a family with. She knew she’d made mistakes, and she would forever regret her actions in Westview, but she found herself unable to regret the family and life she created there, even if she’d lost them all in the end. She would do anything for her kids, even if that meant letting their multiversal versions live their lives without her, though her heart shattered at the mere memory of what she’d lost.
“The weather in Malibu is 72 degrees with scattered clouds,” JARVIS continued, showing the statistics as Christine stood in a bedsheet and marvelled at the massive hightech mansion. “The surf conditions are fair with waist-to-shoulder high lines. High tide will be at 10:52 am.”
“How often do you surf?” Nat stared suspiciously at Tony, who gasped dramatically.
“How dare you, madam,” he said pompously, “I am excellent at surfing. I was surfing before I could walk!”
“You grew up in Manhattan,” Sam pointed out.
Tony looked to the ceiling. Whether he was asking for help from God or the Voice, no one could tell.
“I had a summer house in Malibu,” he said slowly, as if speaking to a child. Rhodey snorted.
“I’ve seen you surfing Tones. Let’s just say, it’s a good thing you’re smart because you did not have a career in athletics waiting for you.” This made the rest of them join Rhodey’s laughter as Tony blushed.
“Let’s just watch,” he mumbled.
Now dressed in a burgundy button up, Christine wandered the mansion calling for Tony and admiring the wealth displayed in his home. She tried playing with controls on the wall but they beeped at her.
“You are not authorized to access this area,” JARVIS’s monotone voice said from the ceiling, frightening Christine as she backed away.
“That’s JARVIS,” Pepper explained, dressed in a jacket and pencil skirt, hair pulled back.
“Pepper!” Peter shouted excitedly, pointing wildly at the screen. “Oh my god, Miss Potts, it’s you! You look amazing!”
Pepper chuckled. “Thank you, Peter,” she said sincerely, ruffling his hair as he smiled.
“You didn’t do that when I showed up,” Tony grumbled bitterly.
Peter rolled his eyes. “You didn’t look this put together.”
Tony looked betrayed but Peter just grinned.
“He runs the house. I’ve got your clothes here,” she continued, holding up the bagged hangars in her hand. “They’ve been dry-cleaned and pressed, and there’s a car waiting for you outside that will take you anywhere you’d like to go.”
Christine took several steps forward. “You must be the famous Pepper Potts.”
Pepper smirked. “Indeed I am.”
“I don’t like the way this woman looks at you,” Nat said coldly, glaring at the screen.
“After all these years,” Christine taunted, “Tony still has you picking up the dry-cleaning.”
“She said WHAT?!” Tony jumped up, looking at Pepper with wide, angry eyes. “How DARE she?!”
Despite the anger radiating from everyone in the room, Pepper laughed. “Tony, it’s fine.”
“It is NOT FINE, Pepper! Why didn’t you tell me about this?”
“Well, at the time you were just my boss,” Pepper offered, but Tony shook his head.
“Not good enough. Even as an employee, that is unacceptable.”
“Really, it’s fine,” she insisted. “Just watch.” Reluctantly, Tony sat, though he continued fuming.
Pepper paused. “I do anything and everything that Mr. Stark requires,” she answered professionally, “including, occasionally, taking out the trash. Will that be all?” She asked politely.
“OOOHHHHHH,” Peter shouted. “You’re gonna want some ice for that BURN!”
Pepper laughed, receiving approving looks from those around her.
“Way to put her in her place, Pep,” Rhodey grinned.
Pepper looked at Tony expectantly.
Tony sighed.
“Fine. But I still wish you would have told me, I would never have done another interview with that woman,” he said, icily staring at the shocked blonde on the screen. Pepper simply shook her head fondly.
The screen cut to Tony in his workshop working on a car, Institutionalized by Suicidal Tendancies blaring throughout the room.
“How do you work in such noise, Stark?” Thor asked.
“It can be helpful, actually,” Bruce answered before Tony could. “The noise drowns out distractions and lets you think a bit more clearly. Lots of scientists work with loud music in the background.”
“Not me,” Peter mumbled, covering his ears in an attempt to stop his enhanced hearing from blasting the song through his skull.
Tony looked apologetically at the boy, remembering how noise could affect him while they worked in the lab. As Spider-Man, he was able to tune out unimportant noise and use his hearing to pick up on details that kept him alive, but as Peter Parker, the constant noise was, at best, overwhelming.
Peter, never the complainer, just smiled softly at his mentor.
Behind him Pepper walked through the glass door on the phone, pausing the deafening music.
“I’m gonna try again, right now,” Pepper said into her phone.
“Please don’t turn down my music,” Tony said, not looking up from his work.
“I’ll keep you posted,” Pepper continued, ignoring him. Hanging up the phone, she turned to face him unimpressed. “You are supposed to be halfway around the world right now.”
“How’d she take it?”Tony asked.
“Like a champ,” Pepper replied, checking the folder in her hands.
“This was a regular occurrence?” Steve looked unimpressed. “And you made Pepper send them off in the morning?”
“Not cool, dude,” Clint said, shaking his head.
“Okay, let's get one thing straight. That guy,” Tony pointed at himself, frustrated, “is not me. He was me, but that is not me anymore. I was stupid and cruel and awful, and if you want to make fun of him, I will gladly join you. But please stop getting mad at me for things I would never do, not anymore.” He huffed as he finished, ignoring the surprised looks he received.
“You’re right,” Wanda said calmly. Tony choked. Of all the people he expected to respond, he would not have guessed it’d be Wanda. “People make mistakes. But people can grow. Forgiveness is a precious gift,” she said, her accent thick. Softly, she added, “One I hope to earn someday.”
“Wanda,” Clint quietly spoke. “What happened in Westview?”
He’d been at home at the time and the news hadn’t reached him until it was all over, and most of the information was so heavily restricted even he couldn’t get his hands on it. He’d tried his hardest but he couldn’t find Wanda anywhere, she’d disappeared, and his guilt over abandoning her after they defeated Thanos was crippling. He had to know what happened, what she’d gone through, even if it killed him to hear it.
The guilt in his voice and the mention of the town confused many of his teammates. Most of them were either dead, busy, or offworld at the time and hadn’t heard about Westview and the Hex.
Wanda stifled a sob, tears welling in her eyes.
“I made terrible choices, I-I hurt people–” Suddenly, her lips were moving but no sound came out. She clutched at her throat, distressed, eyes searching for an explanation as the rest of them watched in concern and helplessness.
“It is not yet time for them to know,” the Voice said calmly. “We will get to your story, Miss Maximoff, but until then I must keep you from getting ahead of yourself.”
Steve’s eyes widened in anger.
“You silenced her?!”
“I did, yes.”
“Undo it,” Clint demanded, his voice harder than vibranium.
“I will,” the Voice responded. “But you must remember what I said. No one will tell their story until the time is right. If you try to reveal anything early, I will have to silence you.”
“WHY?” Tony growled. “You let us talk freely before, when we first arrived. Why now?”
“You needed to understand your situations in order to understand why I brought you here. I do not wish you any harm,” the Voice insisted. “I am quite fond of you all, and I wish for you to have this time together, learning the inner workings of each of your minds.”
“‘Fond of us’ my ass,” Sam seethed.
“It’s fine,” Wanda rasped. They abruptly turned to find her heaving in breaths, tear tracks running down her face. “Let’s just keep watching. Please,” she begged.
The sensation of being unable to speak reminded her too much of her time in the Raft. She needed a distraction, so she let out a sigh of relief when they all silently agreed to sit down and watch.
Still working on the car, Tony asked, “Why are you trying to hustle me out of here?”
“Your flight was scheduled to leave an hour and a half ago.”
“That’s funny,” Tony muttered, “I thought with it being my plane and all that it would just wait for me to get there.” He shrugged.
“Valid,” Bruce muttered.
“Tony, I need to speak to you about a couple things before I get you out of the door,” she sighed.
“I mean,” Tony answered, turning to face her, “doesn’t it kind of defeat the whole purpose of having your own plane if it departs before you arrive.”
“Larry called,” Pepper continued, the two of them carrying on their own conversations. “He’s got another buyer for the Jackson Pollock in the wings. Do you want it, yes or no?”
“Is it a good representation of his spring period?”
“Mr. Stark, the Springs was the neighbourhood in East Hampton where he lived and worked,” Peter pointed out, drawing on his childlike sunshine that had been ever-present before everyone knew he was Spider-Man to break the tension in the room.
“Um… no, the Springs was actually the neighbourhood in East Hampton where he live and worked–”
“That’s what I said!”
“So?” Tony interrupted.
“Not ‘spring’ like the season,” she finished. “I think it’s a fair example, um… I think it’s incredibly overpriced.”
“Pepper the art critic,” Nat grinned. Pepper shrugged, unapologetic.
“I need it.” Tony stood, missing Pepper’s smile. “Buy it. Store it.”
“You two are adorable,” Peter gushed. “You’re so meant to be! We need a name for you two… what about Stotts? No, that’s terrible. Park? You can’t even tell that’s a ship name,” Peter chastised himself.
“Pete, are you seriously–”
“I GOT IT!” He grinned at the couple, bouncing in his seat. “Pepperony!”
Tony’s jaw dropped while Pepper burst out laughing.
“I think it’s perfect,” she giggled.
“Okay. The MIT commencement speech…”
“Is in June,” Tony finished. “Please, don’t harangue me about stuff that’s way, way down.”
“Well, they’re haranguing me, so I’m gonna say yes,” Pepper decided.
“Have you always had to do everything for him?” Clint joked.
“Deflect it and absorb it. Don’t transmit it back to me.”
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
“It wasn’t always this bad,” Pepper insisted.
“Please,” Tony scoffed. “I was terrible. You were running SI years before I made you CEO.”
Pepper blushed but didn’t contradict him.
“I need you to sign this before you get on the plane,” she instructed, ignoring his comment.
“What are you trying to get rid of me for? What, you got plans?” He stood in front of her now, his attention focused on Pepper.
“Correct me if I’m wrong, are you not boss and employee at this point?” Thor looked sceptical.
The two of them shrugged evasively.
“As a matter of fact, I do,” she admitted, trying to hand him the pen.
“I don’t like it when you have plans.”
“I’m allowed to have plans on my birthday,” she rebuked him.
“It’s your birthday?” He tried to hide his surprise but his questioning voice gave him away.
“Oh, Tony,” Rhodey sighed.
“Yes.”
“I knew that,” he responded. “Already?”
“Mr. Stark, you’re a terrible liar,” Peter told him.
“Yeah, isn’t that strange?” She smiled as she spoke, obvious sarcasm in her playful tone. “It’s the same day as last year.”
“Well, get yourself something nice from me,” Tony suggested.
“I already did.”
“I take it this was routine at that point?” Sam asked disapprovingly.
“Kind of. But I got some great birthday gifts out of it,” Pepper grinned.
“And?”
“Oh, it was very nice,” she replied, nodding. “Very tasteful. Thank you, Mr. Stark.”
“You’re welcome, Miss Potts,” he answered automatically.
“I must agree with you, Mr. Parker. This ‘Pepperony’ is indeed fated,” Thor said. Peter looked like he might combust, having had a crush on Thor for years as a child.
As Pepper grabbed the pen from him, he finished his espresso and handed her the cup, walking past her as she smiled to herself.
“You know, this is still one of the more functional superhero relationships I’ve ever seen,” Nat admitted.
“Excuse me?” Clint glared at her.
“You don’t count,” Nat replied.
“EXCUSE ME?!”
The screen switched to Tony speeding down a road in a silver sports car, Happy trailing behind in a black SUV. The cars stopped at an airfield where Rhodey waited for them on the stairs of the jet, frowning.
“You’re good,” Tony said to Happy, getting out of his car. “I thought I lost you back there.”
“You did, sir,” Happy answered, grabbing Tony’s luggage from the trunk. “I had to cut across Mulholland.”
“Street racing, what a brilliant idea,” Rhodey said sarcastically. “Definitely not illegal.”
“Did you want me there on time, or not?” Tony answered.
“You werent!”
They approached the jet, Rhodey shaking his head.
“What’s wrong with you?” Rhodey asked, exasperated.
“What?” Tony said innocently.
“Three hours.”
“Three hours?!” Steve repeated incredulously.
“I got caught doing a piece for Vanity Fair,” Tony defended himself.
Rhodey snorted.
“For three hours,” Rhodey deadpanned. “For three hours you got me standing here.”
“Waiting on you now,” Tony shrugged, walking past him into the jet. “Let’s go, come on. Wheels up! Rock and roll!”
Once the jet took to the skies, Rhodey read a newspaper while Tony spoke with the flight attendant.
“Whatcha reading, Platypus?”
“Nothing,” he muttered.
“He’s so sour,” Peter joked.
“Come on, sour patch,” Tony goaded.
“Pete, are you psychic?” Tony asked seriously. Peter shrugged.
“I’m not sour,” Rhodey insisted.
“Don’t be mad.”
“I told you, I’m not mad,” Rhodey sighed. “I’m indifferent, okay?”
“He’s so mad,” Nat stage-whispered to Clint, who nodded.
“I said I was sorry,” Tony told him.
“Did you, though?” Pepper asked him, to which he gave her a so-so gesture.
“Good morning, Mr. Stark,” the brunette flight attendant said flirtatiously.
“You don’t need to apologize to me,” Rhodey answered the billionaire.
“I told him I was sorry,” Tony told the flight attendant, smiling at her.
“I’m just indifferent right now,” Rhodey continued.
“Hot towel?” the flight attendant offered. Neither man answered but Tony grabbed a towel from the plate and began wiping his hands.
“You don’t respect yourself, so I know you don’t respect me,” Rhodey shrugged.
“I respect you,” Tony countered, but Rhodey just continued as if he hadn’t spoken.
“No, you don’t,” Steve, Sam, Nat, Rhodey, and Pepper all said at once while Peter laughed.
“I’m just your babysitter. So, when you need your diaper changed,” he said, thanking the flight attendant as he grabbed a towel, “let me know, and I’ll get you a bottle, okay?”
“That doesn’t make sense,” Bruce said. “Why would you get a baby a bottle if it needs to be changed?”
“I hadn’t thought it out fully,” Rhodey sighed.
“Hey, heat up the sake, will you?” Tony asked the flight attendant. Turning to Rhodey, he said, “Thanks for reminding me.”
“No, I’m not talking–” Rhodey sighed. “We’re not drinking, we’re working right now.”
“You can’t have sashimi without sake,” Tony said indignantly.
“You are constitutionally incapable of being responsible.”
“True,” Pepper laughed. Tony looked at her, betrayed.
“It would be irresponsible not to drink,” Tony countered.
“How?” Clint asked. Tony shrugged.
“I’m just talking about a nightcap.”
“Hot sake?” The blonde flight attendant asked, setting a bottle on the table.
“Yes, two please,” Tony replied.
“No, just–” Rhodey shook his head. “I’m not drinking, I don’t want any.”
The next second, Rhodey and Tony are shown sitting on the couch, drunk with party lights flickering.
Everyone burst out laughing at the change.
“Yeah, your resolve is unbreakable,” Sam teased.
“Will of steel, over here,” Happy laughed.
“You can’t have sashimi without sake,” Rhodey defended weakly.
“That’s what I’m talking about,” Rhodey slurred, the remaining sake in his hand. His eyes were firmly locked on Tony, who looked between Rhodey and the flight attendants dancing with champagne, their shirts tied and hair down.
“They changed quickly,” Pepper said carefully.
Tony gulped. “Have I told you how much I love you in the last ten minutes?”
Pepper laughed. “Yes, but I could always hear it again.”
Tony grinned, while Peter yelled, “Pepperony!” and gave a thumbs up to Thor.
“When I get up in the morning and I’m putting on my uniform, you know what I recognize? I see in that mirror that every person that’s got this uniform on got my back!”
Steve nodded. It may be a drunken speech, but it was true nonetheless.
Tony nodded seriously. “Hey, you know what? I’m not like you. I’m not cut out–”
“No, no,” Rhodey interrupted. “You don’t have to be like me! But you’re more than what you are,” he insisted, pointing at his friend.
“Damn,” Clint said. “Fantastic advice from drunk Rhodey, who would’ve guessed."
“Hey, I am very wise,” Rhodey countered, then added, “jackass,” under his breath, smiling innocently when Clint glared.
“Can you excuse me if I’m a bit distracted here?” Tony returned his attention to the flight attendants.
“NO!” Rhodey gasped. “You can’t be distracted right now, listen to me!”
The plane landed at the Bagram Air Base in Afghanistan. Tony exited the plane, sunglasses on to greet the general.
“A little hung over there, Stark?” Nat smirked.
“Please,” Tony scoffed. “Starks don’t get hungover.”
“Welcome, Mr. Stark,” the man responded. “We look forward to your weapons presentation.”
Tony nodded. “Thanks.”
Something told the viewers they would not be looking forward to the weapons presentation.