Chapter 13
It was late and that was all Erik knew. For what felt like hours he had been laying in the bed, next to Charles, staring into the darkness at the ceiling of their hotel room.
He refused to fall asleep, no matter how comfortable, warm, and safe he felt. It was just too big of a risk to take.
From the moment that Charles had come back from the lobby of the hotel to inform him that there had been a mistake, but the hotel didn't have any vacant rooms with two beds. In fact, they didn't have any other vacancies at all. They were stuck in a room with a single queen-sized bed.
Erik had offered to sleep on the floor but Charles had told him he was being stupid. There was plenty enough room for both of them on the bed, after all. They could share. Erik wasn't so certain.
It wasn't that he was against being so close to Charles, in fact, they had been getting closer and closer over their road trip, often falling in bed together, kissing and grinding against each other, clothes falling away.
When they were finished though, one of them would get up and move to the other bed to sleep for the night. They never had fallen asleep together, cuddled up.
Charles rolled over in his sleep, wrapping his arm around Erik, his hair tickling Erik's cheek as he burrowed down against Erik's neck. It took everything in him not to tense up. It was nice, the cuddling and closeness, but something Erik hadn't experienced in years. The last time he slept close to someone, Erik was certain, was right after the camps, being freed from them, not knowing if the person next to him would be awake when he woke up again. Not even certain that he would be alive in the morning.
At least then it wasn't anything new for someone to scream in the middle of the night and they were all too exhausted to move. There wasn't a fear of accidentally hurting the people around him or the reaction to his screams. They were all experiencing similar things. The last thing he wanted to do now was wake Charles up or hurt him in their sleep.
There was a movement near his head and Erik stilled down to even holding his breath. Charles was waking up, the exact thing he wanted to avoid.
"Erik?" Charles mumbled softly before yawning, hot breath over Erik's neck made him shiver.
"Yeah?" Erik whispered back, still looking at the ceiling, not wanting to move, speak, or breathe.
"Are you still awake?" Charles asked and Erik could hear the concern in his voice. Mentally, he cursed himself.
"Yeah, I'm awake," Erik replied, wishing Charles would just go back to sleep, but that didn't seem to be in the plans. He seemed to be more awake by the second.
“Are you afraid to fall asleep because you think you’re gonna have a nightmare?” The question came a moment later and Erik felt exposed, as though Charles had just split him open.
"Are you in my head?" He asked. There was no malice behind the words, just curious how Charles guessed so correctly so quickly. Did the man just know him that well? Or was there something more to it?
Charles shook his head, "No I'm not," He replied softly and Erik believed him.
For a moment, Erik didn't know what to say. How was he supposed to answer? To say yes was admitting weakness. To say no would be to lie and that was something he didn't want to do, at least not to Charles.
"I have them most nights," He replied softly, "You know this by now." There was no way Charles had missed the thrashing during the night. The occasional screams or groans that escaped him and, as much as Erik hated to admit it, the whines and whimpers.
"I've noticed," Charles whispered "But...well, I don't know if you've noticed but most nights they...go away before long. I have-" Charles stopped and Erik could tell he was afraid of Erik's reaction to whatever he was going to say.
"You have what, Charles?" He asked, his voice a little rough, stronger, his shields coming up around him.
Charles sighed before continuing, "I can make them go away. When I notice you have them, I've been stopping them or redirecting them to something nicer. It's not something I do on purpose," He hastened to add, "It's something I've honestly been doing in my sleep, I realized it a couple of days ago I woke up in the middle of it. I used to do it for Raven when we were younger and it just sort of became a habit. Anytime I feel someone having a nightmare around me, the intense emotions draw me in and I do what I can to stop them."
The words made Erik pause. He had noticed the lack of waking up screaming, yet not remembering anything from his dreams. The occasional vague feeling of comfort and being rested as he woke up. It was nice, he had to admit, but still-
"You've seen them?" Erik asked, still afraid to move, as though somehow Charles would see him if he did. As though the man didn't already know he was there.
"No," Charles replied quickly, assuring Erik, "I haven't seen them but I've felt your emotions from them. Most of which I can't really remember once I wake up. Destress is mostly all I really remember."
Erik nodded, then paused, considering. There was something he wanted to ask but almost feared what it would mean. It wasn't that he worried Charles wouldn't agree but, concerned over asking, over trusting Charles to do something so personal.
"Could you...now? Keep them away? Or prevent them from happening? I don't want to worry about hurting you, I don't want to take that risk."
"Of course, my friend," Charles replied before slowly, tentatively slipping into Erik's mind.
It was a little terrifying as Erik felt his eyes slipping closed. It was as though he couldn't hold them open anymore and he wasn't certain if Charles was making him fall asleep or if it was the removal of worry and stress that was doing it. Either way, in less than a minute, he gave in, allowing himself to drift off to sleep, Charles still cuddled into his side.