Chapter 4
Erik was only vaguely aware he does it.
After years, most of his life, where food was hard to come by, both in the camps and once he got out -thrown onto the street with no one to call his family and nowhere to call home- it seemed like his only option.
Logically, he knows there’s no fear of being without food, not here, not in the literal mansion that Charles owns, but still, the fear is there. It’s bone-deep, something he doesn’t even think about, just does. It’s as natural to him as breathing, as fighting for his survival.
He walks into the kitchen, he grabs an apple. No, he’s not hungry, but he might be sometimes and not have it. He takes it back to the room he’s been sharing with Charles and stores it away.
Later, he has a granola bar and finds himself putting it away in the same fashion. It’s not likely they’re going to run out or starve but he’s been conditioned. Another thing that has been drilled into him like how to be a weapon, how to utilize his pain and turn it into power. How to store away food in case he needs it.
Over the next weeks, he finds himself doing it more and more. Occasionally, he’ll get the apples, bananas, and anything perishable out and eat them before it goes bad. The occasional midnight snack for when he wakes up, terrified, and finds himself wanting to make sure, needing to know that he’s no longer there. When holding Charles close to his chest isn’t enough or his hands are shaking so much he fears waking the smaller man from his much needed sleep.
The point is, he never thinks about it.
Not until Charles finds his stash and brings it up.
“Erik, why are there snacks in the drawer next to our bed?”
Erik pauses, looking at him. Part of him wonders if he should just admit to his fear or try to cover it. His hesitation lasts a moment too long and Charles seems to know what that means.
Arms wrap around him within moments, “You don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want to. I’m just curious.”
“I’ve spent years without food. I’ve always done this. Sometimes I wake up hungry in the middle of the night. Sometimes I just put food away without thinking about it. It just happens.”
Charles nods and kisses his cheek. “Next time we go out to the shops we’ll buy some foods you can keep in here that won’t go off too quickly. Would that help?”
A small smile finds its way onto Erik’s face and he nods, “Yeah, that would be good,” He agrees. It seems Charles is always ready to accept and help him. It’s a feeling he is wholly unused to.