You're the one I Dream of
Attuma and Okoye, drove in front of her house, parking the land rover. They sat there, under the moonlight and stars; not wanting to move, and break the moment. Okoye continued to rest her head on his arm, silently enjoying being there with each other. And as much as they desire to hold on to the present, it eventually becomes the past. Attuma went into deep thought, thinking; he needed to return to Talokan and put things in order. But he didn’t want to leave Okoye; not at this crucial time in her life.
“I hate to say this,” he started. Her heart skipped, hearing this, and knowing it wasn’t anything good to be said.
“You’re going to Talokan,” she finished it for him. “Does it have anything to do with the girl?” He repositioned himself in his seat; causing her to lift her head, and look at him. He looked away, embarrassed at the thought of; how he has been acting, the last few days. And his allowance of such inappropriate actions, to go on. But he needs to deal with the consequences.
“Yes,” he replied.
“I see,” she went to exit the vehicle, when he gently grasped her arm. She turned to look at him.
“No, Okoye, you don’t,” him disagreeing with her statement. He turned completely to her, so she could truly understand it. “Because Okoye, if you did; you would have never sent me away, thinking your health, or anything about you, would make me love you any less. I would move a mountain for you, hell, I would walk through a fire pit. That’s how deep my love is for you; it’s rooted in my heart. When you said those things, it crushed me. I had no direction, no hope. I just didn’t give a damn.” He paused trying not to sound accusing, or even blaming her. He just wanted her to know, the mental state he was in, at that time of his life. And after he was told, she had left Wakanda. That was it, he didn’t care about anything or one.
“So, your actions; are my fault?” She stared him in the eyes. Yes, she felt she could have done that better, and she does blame herself for breaking his heart. But to hear him practically pointing the finger at her, just hit hard.
“No In yakunaj (my darling), I know now why you did it,” he said, brushing the side of her face, with the back of his hand. “You spoke out of love, nothing malicious was in your thoughts. But how I reacted, was nothing noble. It was cruel and selfish to another. I need to rectify that, and set things in order.”
“I don’t know, Attuma,” her eyes became fixed on his; gripping them into a strong hold. “I have this great fear, I will never see you again; if you return to Talokan. I sense there is something or one, that has a nefarious agenda.” She turned away, freeing him; leaning on the door, and looking out into the night.
He moved over into her, their bodies connecting; then reached out, and brought her back around to him. He captured her lips, pressing them so hard with his kiss; her head tilted back. She moaned into his mouth; the tears filled her eyes. She knew, he will not heed her warning, and this is all she will possess of him. He parted their mouth, his breath flowed a gentle breeze over her lips, his eyes peering into hers.
“Mantats' in suut ti' teech, Mantats'; In yakunaj, (I will always come back to you, always; my darling). He promised her this, and held her so tight; they almost merged into one. Her tears fell, her feelings not relinquishing, what was consuming her heart. Her dreams were foreboding.
“I would say get a room, you two,” Shuri came towards them. “But we all know that’s impossible.” She went to the passenger side, staring at the two. They were still in their constricted embrace. Attuma released Okoye, who gave Shuri a raised eyebrow. Who returned a ‘What?’, expression.
“Nothing, Shuri,” she replied, wiping her eyes. Shuri noticed this.
“What’s the matter, Okoye?” She rubbed her arm, to comfort her; from whatever it was, that had her tearing. She glanced Attuma’s way.
“I told her I had to return to Talokan for some unfinished business,” he explained. “She fears there’s trouble for me if I return. She thinks she will lose me.”
“Oh, I see,” Shuri looked at Okoye. “Does this have anything to do with your dreams?” Attuma’s eyes darted from Shuri to Okoye.
“What dreams?” He inquired.
“The night you left, I called your name,” she begins. “But you continued on. I saw you swim away.” His jaw dropped. Shuri saw the astonished expression, that masked his face.
“What, Attuma?” Shuri asked, Okoye’s head turned his way.
“When I was leaving, I thought I heard my name, being called,” he told them. “Sometime later, I realized it was you, In yakunaj.” (My darling). Okoye’s heart sunk to the bottom of her stomach upon hearing this. She doesn’t know how, but Attuma and her, have connected; on a higher plane. Soulmates, through and through.
“You said, you have to return, because of something you did,” she says. “It’s that girl, isn’t it?” He squirmed where he sat, fearing she will ask, and he will have to reveal the sordid details to her.
“Yes,” he answered. He lowered his head, and brace for the interrogation.
“What girl?” Shuri injected. Okoye gave her a look. “Wait, not wanting to change the subject. It just came to mind, Attuma, you’re here.” He breathed a sigh of relief; Shuri gave him a short reprieve.
“I’m not sure of what you’re saying,” it was confusing to him, why the surprise of his presence.
“After M'Baku summoned you; and the little blue demon, aka Namora; came and refused to allow him to speak with you. I tried to see if Namor, would intervene. But of course; he was no help.” She explained to him. His whole demeanor shifted into another gear, as his conversation with Namora, loomed supreme.
“Why that little b--,” he caught himself before it came out. He turned to Okoye. “I told you; I thought I lost you forever; because I was told, you had left Wakanda. And you said--.”
“Whoever told you that, lied,” she finished his sentence. “I’m gathering, it was Namora, who lied?”
“Yes, she said M'Baku summoned me to tell me that,” he informed them.
“No, that’s not true. He wanted to update you on Okoye’s health, knowing you would want to know.” Shuri revealed. Attuma left the vehicle; and walked quite a distance away. He begins to stomp the ground, and speaking something in his language. Okoye got out, and stood next to Shuri, as they watched him explode. He stopped abruptly, and stood quiet, as if he were a statue.
“I’m not understanding, what was their plan?” Shuri looked to Okoye.
“Nothing good, Shuri. Nothing good,” she continued watching him. Her fears confirmed. They will try their best, to keep him from returning; if he goes back.
After a while of reflecting, Attuma walked into the house; where Okoye and Shuri had gone, giving him some space and time, to himself. He sat by Okoye, who was on the sofa, with a blanket draped over her lap, warming herself. He placed his arm over her legs, and pulled her closer to him.
“Shuri, you know the answers, that will clarify things for me,” he glanced over to her.
“What is it you need to know?” She asked.
“From what you told me, M'Baku summoned me; but Namora came to him in my place,” he reiterated what she said. “And he only wanted to let me know, about Okoye’s health. Which I’m deducting, was her collapse and emergency surgery; from the rupture aneurysm.
“That is true,” she confirmed
“And you, went to Namor, for an intervention,” he said. “To by pass Namora, and have me contact M'Baku.
“That also is true,” she cleared it up for him. He shook his head, bewildered. Okoye touched his hand.
“This is what I am sensing; betrayal. They want to keep you there. If you should return,” she couldn’t hold back the tears, knowing more than ever; he will go to confront them.
“In yakunaj,” (My darling), he hooked her chin with a finger, and stared into her eyes, for a couple of minutes. Shuri took her leave; and left the house, to do two things. First to make her rounds, as the Black Panther; second, to give them some alone time.
“If you are determined to leave me; and return to Talokan,” she searched his eyes to see; if there were some flickered of hope. He would reverse his decision. But her heart nearly ceased from beating, as it was clear, there will be no yielding.
“Then make love to me; so, I can at least have that. To help me, move through this life; without you.” He was stunned, hearing her ask this of him. Knowing, she wasn’t strong enough; to endure him, loving her with such intensity.
“Okoye, I am a Talokanil, and loving you as deep as I do, could cause you great harm,” he tried to make her understand.
“I don’t care, living without you is unbearable. Let me have you, just a sample,” she gazed into his eyes, pleading of him. He turned away from her gaze, unless she weakens him, and he gives her what she desires, and it hurts her. He had to be the strong one, he has been feeble minded too long, and look where it has gotten him. He will not cave this time, and cause her worst health issues.
“Okoye, in yakunaj, (My darling),” we can’t do this, not even a sample. It won’t stop there. We will get caught up, and I can’t take that chance of harming you.” He held her head between his hands, staring into her eyes, wishing she would accept it. She pulled from his hold, and turned away from him.
“Please go, and do what you must,” she begins to sob, he went to comfort her. “No, Attuma. I can’t bare this, go do what you have to do.” Then she turned back to him. “Ukuba uthe waliphula idinga lakho, ungabuyi kum, ndiya kukuzingela, ndikufumane. (If you break your promise, and don't return to me, I will hunt you down, and I will find you.) She spoke these words; through her sobbing. It hurted him, to have to see her in such stress. But he can’t allow, what Namor and Namora did; to go unanswered. He stood to his feet; knowing it was time to leave her for now.
“A mantendré fiel ti' le jóok' chi', (I will hold you to that promise), In yakunaj, (My darling),” he walked pass her, and came up behind her; and took her head into his hands, once more. He tilted it back, leaned in, and rested his lips; near the small gauze covering the incision. Then he straightens up and left out the house. He took the land rover, and headed towards the Capitol. He needed to speak with his best friend, his brother, M'Baku.
Okoye sat with her hands covering her face, as she cried without any relief. She had this gut-wrenching feeling, overwhelming her; there’s a plot to prevent his return. She wasn’t definitely sure; if it were all three, or just one of them, who has a malignant intention towards him. And if she could make a guess, that girl would be the one.
“Sthandwa sam,” (My love). She cried out for him. “I-Attuma yam entle,” (My beautiful Attuma), she fell on the sofa, sobbing; pulling the blanket to her, and holding it, as if she was holding him. “Bast, nceda umkhusele,” (Bast, please protect him). She had cried so hard, she exhausted herself. She slowly fell into the land of slumber.