Neville Longbottom turns things into waifus
“Er…Harry?” Neville asked nervously. “I kind of have to admit I borrowed your Transfiguration textbook. I forgot where I put mine and yours was lying around so I borrowed it…it was without asking but I needed to get my homework done. I was going to return it…”
“The book isn’t destroyed isn’t it?” Harry asked. He would not be too upset, he could buy another book and Dumbledore and he both made notes about it.
“No, but er…the jelly stain was still in it and the pages stuck together and I mixed up some spells and they had the same result as with you.” Neville said.
“Don’t tell me…” Harry said.
“Yeah…” Neville then turned around. “You can come in now!” From an alcove came two humanoid figures.
The first one was a muscular but stocky humanoid, not tall but clearly bulky. It had samurai armor in shades of green and brown, mostly swamp-themed colors. From the face it was easy to guess it was amphibian with the warty wet skin and bulging eyes. It had a series of tendrils around its snout and on its chin invoking a mustache and beard. He also had a long white pipe form which it smoked.
The other was a girl that could have been considered cute. However, she was a foot taller then them, had green skin…her hair and very revealing clothes were made of leaves, she had vines wrapped around her limbs and was barefoot. She had a very wide grin full of sharp teeth in her mouth. “Nom-Nom!” she said in a cutesy childish voice.
“Are those…” Hermione asked surprised.
“Yeah, that one is Trevor. The other is Nom-Nom, my Aphrodisian Snaptrap plant.” Neville said. “And now they’re like this.”
“Nom-Nom!” the plant girl said with smile as she waved at them. She saw a fly zoom by, snatched it out of the air, threw it in her mouth and ate it. It got a few disgusted looks from onlookers. But she didn’t seem to care.
It would be understandable how Neville would make the spell work. Being raised by only an overbearing grandmother and having a desire for friends and family would fuel the spell, like it did for Harry. The fact Neville was able to pull it off shows that Neville may be more powerful then they thought. “I think we need to talk about this with Dumbledore. Don’t mean to give the guy extra work but he’s the only expert we have on this right now.”
“Before you do, allow this amphibian to indulge in his wanderlust.” Trevor said, with a soft but deep voice you would expect from his samurai aesthetic. “Before I was unable to communicate this, but my species love to explore. I never meant to run away from you, little tadpole. I just needed to map out these lands like my ancestors before me. I’ll always come back to you. Please see to today’s education and I’ll be back at the end to join you in conversation with the master of this establishment. And if there is trouble, I’ll be hopping right on by.” Trevor said.
“Well, I guess we have time.” Neville noted. “And sorry about imposing on your journey.”
“No fault of yours, young tadpole.” Trevor said. “I’ll be seeing you and your friends later.” He then walked off to explore.
“Well, that was something. Who knew what was going on in the little amphibian head of Neville’s toad.” Hermione said.
“Now, what about…Hey, where did she go?” Harry said as he noticed Nom-Nom had vanished.
“Oh no, she has wandered off…Nom-Nom, here girl.” Neville said as they ran down the hallway. “I hope she doesn’t get into trouble…” Neville hoped.
Draco Malfoy had bad luck as of late. He never realized it was due to being fed Malaclaw venom regularly. However, he found his luck turning around. He had asked his Father for a new Nimbus 3000, which he would use to knock Potter’s broom right out of the park. Even if she is now a disgusting halfbreed, she exceeds the Nimbus 2001 in speed. But the Nimbus 3000 would make up. Sure after the debacle with obtaining the Nimbus 2001 for the whole Slytherin team and still losing left a bad taste, Draco was after begged negotiating with his father, whom eventually got tired of his nagging was convinced that he could do well. Sure, there was no Quidditch this year but he could already show the broom off. I’d be great. He already noticed his family owl Lucifer arriving with a broom-shaped package. Draco rubbed his hands and smirked.
“NOM-NOM!” and with that, Lucifer ended up chomped upon by the green plant girl. Her jaws unhinged in a snake-like manner, wrapped around the upper body of the owl and the broom. “Nom…Nom…Nom…” she muttered as she shifted her jaws ever so slightly to pull in the owl more and more.
“Gah! What are you doing? That’s my family owl! My broom! My Dad paid many Galleons for that! Let go you geranium creature! Father is going to kill me!” Draco said as he tried to pull them out of her mouth, but she held on like a pitbull and even growled like a dog refusing to let go of his new chewtoy. “Crabbe, Goyle, stop standing around like lawn ornaments and help me!”
The two morons approached Nom-Nom, but a pair of vines grew out of her back, which sported Venus Flytrap-like heads and roared at them. They wisely decided to get back off. So Draco was forced to do it himself. He pulled and pulled…and a snape was heard. He held the lower part of his broken broom, the rest vanished alongside the remnants of the owl down Nom-Nom’s throat. She chewed for a bit, swallowed and let out a delighted moan with her tongue lulling out. “Nom-Nom.” She said, softly and content.
“No! My Nimbus 3000! Lucifer! Give them back, you filthy plant creature!” Draco Malfoy roared at him. Nom-Nom did NOT appreciate that. She then chomped down on Draco’s head. Not enough to crush his skull or do damage, but hard enough to cause pain and lock on tight. “Gah! Let go of me.” She growled again and wouldn’t let go.
“Nom-Nom!” Neville said as he and the others caught up with her. “Spit him out, you don’t know where he’s been.”
Nom-Nom rolled her eyes and spat out Malfoy, whom fell on his butt and looked disgusted. “She tried to eat my brain! I’m covered in slobber!”
“Well, that would not have made a very fulfilling meal, would it?” Harry noted. “And you already were a slimeball.”
“Potter! You made more of those freak sisters of yours! You and all of them are going to pay. I’ll tell my father about this!” Draco roared.
“While I created a new sister recently, this one isn’t mine, it’s Neville’s sis now.” Harry noted.
“Nom-Nom!” Nom-Nom said as she grabbed Neville in an affectionate hug. Smushing Neville against her impressive breasts because she got those somehow in the transformation.
“Longbottom? He is barely above a squib, how could he pull this off?” Draco asked.
“Well, it means that this ‘squib’ did an impressive bit of magic that you cannot do, Malfoy.” Neville said. He felt confident with his sister and friends by his side. It also helped he knew Malfoy was doped up on bad luck potion and in hindsight, actually quite pathetic.
“I can do whatever you can and better! I’m a Pureblood from a respectable family. Now, what is this so called spell?” Malfoy huffed.
“It’s ‘Moefy’.” Harry said. He felt no problem giving the spell to Malfoy because even if it wasn’t a bad luck potion, Malfoy would never be able to put himself into the mindset that Harry and Neville had. He had no love in him.
“Great, I’ll show. Moefy!” Malfoy pointed at the remains of the Nimbus…which burst into flame. Draco panicked and nearly dropped his wand. He pointed it at the burning broom. “Aguamenti!” But he had his wand backwards and sprayed himself with water. He stopped the spell and pouted as he was laughed at. “Whatever, I don’t need halfbreeds for sisters anyhow. And I can still salvage the broom…” Draco said but then noticed the pile of ash. “Er…I’ll get a new one!” which was a bluff because Malfoy Sr. would not give him any more brooms. Then he stormed off in a rage.
“While I’m glad you made a fool of Malfoy, Nom-Nom…you can’t just wander off.” Neville said to his new ‘sister’.
“Nom-nom…” she said sheepishly as she awkwardly put the tips of her index fingers together.
“I know it’s a new and exciting world out there after being potted your whole life. But at least let me know beforehand fi you want to stretch your legs, and let me know where you are. I was worried.” Neville said.
“Nom-Nom…” Nom-Nom said as she gave him puppy dog eyes.
“Oh, I can’t stay mad at you…especially since I raised you from the day you were just a seed. Just don’t make problems, ok?” Neville asked.
“Nom-Nom!” Nom-Nom said with a smile.
“Oh, it’s nearly time for Care for Magical Creatures, we should really be going.” Hermione said as she checked the time.
“Well it is too late to send her to the Common room. So Nom-Nom, come with us and promise you’ll not wander off, okay?” Neville asked.
“Nom-Nom!” she said as he nodded. With that, the group of Gryffindors headed towards their class.
“Now, today we continue our lessons with the Blast-Ended Skrewts.” Hagrid said as he had the slimy, fire-farting, stinging mutant seafood platters of creatures in boxes. “We’ve tried different foods before, which failed. But this time I’m sure that what we will feed them now may end up to their liking, so they’d stop eating each oth-” Hagrid was interrupted by a crunching sound.
Nom-Nom stood there, one of the Skrewt’s twisted legs sticking out of her mouth. Everyone stared at her. She slurps up the Skrewt leg in her mouth, munched and swallowed. “Nom-Nom.” She muttered softly. She then reached out in the box of Skrewts again and grabbed a few, opening her mouth…
“No, don’t eat them!” Hagrid said as he rushed at the plant girl.
“NOM-NOM!” she said as she popped one Skrewt in her mouth, grabbed two more with each of her hands and then sported the venus flytrap vines from her back to gobble up a few more, then ran for it. It was comical to see Hagrid chase her as she scarfed down the Skrewts while running. Even the heroes, while Hagrid was their friend, couldn’t help but laugh. That and no one liked the Skrewts.
Eventually Hagrid couldn’t keep up the chase as he leaned on his knees, panting, as she had already devoured the remaining Skrewts. “They were so young.” Hagrid cried. He rushed to the box with the other Skrewts, and only one was left. “I better get you somewhere safe…No more Skrewts in class, or you’d end up extinct!” This got a cheer from most people.
“Sorry about the Skrewts, Mr. Hagrid. “Nom-Nom doesn’t realize it is wrong to eat the animals.” Neville said. While he didn’t like the Skrewts, he still felt sorry for Hagrid. “She’s really sorry and doesn’t know any better. Right, Nom-Nom?”
Neville turned to the plant girl whom was patting her belly and looked delighted. She then looked at Neville, whom raised an eyebrow to clue her in. Nom-Nom then put her hands together and put on her puppy dog eyes. “Nom-Nom…” she said in a tone she meant to say ‘Sowwy!’
“See, she’s sorry. I promise I’ll learn her what she can and cannot eat.” Neville said.
Hagrid sniffed. “Well, she didn’t know any better, I guess. And you can’t just stay mad at that face. As long as she learns from this. Well, since all the Skrewts but one are gone, class dismissed.”
No matter what class, no student is going to complain when there class is dismissed early. “Boy does she have an appetite.” Harry noted.
“Pfeh!” Malfoy scoffed. “I guess she was good for one thing after all. But she is still a freak and that doesn’t make up for the fact she at my owl and my br-” Malfoy was once again being stupid. He was right behind Nom-Nom. Her stomach gurgled. She had a pained look on her face. And then…well, how she did it without burning off her leafy skirt is unknown, but she made like a Skrewt herself and farted fire in Draco’s face. His hair was now on fire. “Ah! Put it out! Put it out!” he ran around like a headless chicken.
“Aguamenti! Aguamenti!” Pansy Parkinson, Draco’s girlfriend said as she tried to blast him with water. “Stand still! I can’t put it out if you are running around like an idiot.”
“I can’t stop! It hurts so much!” Draco whined.
“Why do you put so many flammable hair care products in your hair?” Pansy shouted.
“I have an image!” Draco whined. It took a while but they were able to finally put the fire out…but with most of Draco’s hair gone. He had to be taken to the Hospital Wing to treat his burns and would have to go bald for a few months. And all the while the heroes had laughed their collective arse off.
“That was really funny. Almost as funny as the ferret.” Harry said as he wiped a tear form his eyes.
“I should not approve of someone being in pain but…It’s Malfoy!” Hermione said whom couldn’t hold back her laughter. “I wonder how she did that though.”
“Nom-Nom!” Nom-Nom blushed a darker green as the fact she broke gas was a bit embarrassing for her. She then belched up a few flames, making them all step back. Then all of a sudden, she sported wings. Sure, they were made from leaves that resembled feathers, but still wings. “Nom-Nom?” she said as she looked at her new wings. She then flapped them and got off the ground. “Nom-Nom!” she said happily as she started to fly around.
“What?” they all collectively said.
“First she got the fire farts from the Skrewts and she can fly now…after eating Malfoy’s owl!” Hermione deduced.
“So she can get the powers of the creatures she eats?” Neville asked.
“Yes. Now, flesh eating plants live in areas with little nutrients in the ground so they eat bugs and other small animals. Magical plants have something similar, but they also get magic from the magical creatures they eat. And since we know this anthropomorphication spell enhances their traits, she not just get nutrients or magic for sustenance, she can absorb the traits of her prey.” Hermione said.
“Oh, so she is literally what she eats?” Harry joked.
“It appears to be. She’s going to be a handful, Nev.” Hermione noted.
“Maybe…but she’s my handful now.” Neville said.
They then heard a crashing sound. Apparently, Nom-Nom didn’t have quite control over her new flight abilities just yet and had flown into a tree. She stumbled around, eyes crossed, tongue hanging out of her mouth in a silly way. “Nom-Nom…” she said before falling flat on her face. Neville sighed.
The three decide to return to the Potter quarters, where their remaining friends awaited. Daphne didn’t take Care for Magical Creatures and while Tracey did, she had a flu and was in the Hospital Wing. “Hey guys, how was class?” Daphne asked.
“Well, there is something you need to know…” Neville said. “I’m a little brother too, now.”
“How would that be if…wait, did you do what Harry did?” Daphne asked.
“Yes…” Neville said with a sigh as Trevor and Nom-Nom followed him inside.
“Greetings, friends of Neville.” Trevor said. “I was formerly Trevor, wandering toad whom couldn’t complete his mission. Now I am Trevor, wandering toad and more, whom was able to explore this castle.”
“Nom-Nom!” the plant girl grinned widely and waved at them.
“His toad and a plant, shouldn’t be surprised.” Maps noted. “So what kind of mischief did you guys get in to?”
“Not exactly mischief. Trevor merely explored, but Nom-Nom is a hungry little bugger. She ate Malfoy’s owl, Malfoy’s broom and the Skrewts in class. Then after she ate the Skrewts she was able to fart Malfoy’s head on fire.” Neville explained.
“Oh Merlin, I wish I was able to have seen that!” Maps said as she nearly doubled over laughing. “Welcome to the family, geranium, girl!” she held out a fist.
“Nom-Nom!” the transformed Snaptrap returned the fist bump from Maps.
“Keep her away from me!” Bolt said as she flew in the rafters of the room.
“She isn’t going to eat you, she won’t eat friends.” Hedwig noted.
“Tell that to my broom brethren she has devoured. She also ate an owl, aren’t you worried?” Bolt responded.
“No, because that Malfoy owl was as much an asshat as his owners. When I was a normal owl, he tried to come on to me. He wouldn’t take a hint.” Hedwig said.
“Nom-Nom!” the plant girl has sported the leaf wings again and flew up to the rafters to greet Bolt, whom screeched in fear and flew off, while a confused Nom-Nom just raised an eyebrow.
“Blimey! I overslept.” Ron Weasley noted. He may be on friendlier terms with Harry but he remained in the Gryffindor common room. “I missed Creature class. Can I borrow any of your notes? And I should apologize to Hagrid…”
“Don’t worry, class was dismissed, you didn’t miss much.” Harry noted.
“Next time use an alarm spell, that always works.” Hermione suggested.
“Didn’t miss much of the Skrewts, because Neville made a plant waifu whom ate all but one, also Malfoy’s owl and scorched his hair.” Maps explained.
“Really? Blimey, and I had to miss that.” Ron said dejectedly. “Though I can rub Malfoy’s face in it. Say, the plant girl Neville made did this, you said?”
“Yeah, that’s my new sis Nom-Nom!” Neville said proudly.
“Nom-Nom!”
“So…if she can eat Skrewts, she can probably eat a lot of other things too…” Ron muttered softly. “Say Nom-Nom, what if I said there is an All-You-Can-Eat-Buffet in the Forest, with monster-sized portions?”
“Nom-Nom?” the plant girls’ eyes now had stars in it and she started to drool a sap-like substance.
“Ron, what are you up to?” Hermione asked.
“Just solving two problems at once.” Ron noted with a smirk.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
“Hey, Anansi!” an Acromantula said to his brother.
“Yes, Kumonos?” another Acromantula asked.
“I see a tasty human.”
“Can’t be healthy, it is green. That’s not how a healthy human looks like. It may be moldy.”
“If it was moldy it’d be dead. We got living prey. It just has to be one of those exotic colored humans.”
“What makes you think humans come in that color?”
“It doesn’t look harmful. We are twenty times her size.”
“Fine, we can eat her, but you are the taste tester and if you’re ill, I’ll say ‘told you so?’”
“That’s fair…Hey, little girl. You look like a snack. A very exotic snack!”
“Nom-Nom?”
“Yeah, nom-nom, that’s what me and Anansi here are going to do to you. Nothing personal, but we’re meat eaters.”
“Nom-Nom…”
“Yeah, that’s what you just said already. Oh, she’s drooling. Think she’s right in the head, Anansi?”
“Poor thing is brain damaged. Guess we have to put her out of her misery. We get to eat, we both win.”
“NOM-NOM!”
“Yeah, you already said that, now stand still and let us…AH! SHE TOOK A BITE OUT OF ME!”
“NOM-NOM!”
“She is eating my face! Do something, Anansi!”
“Gah! She bit off my leg. Sorry, Kumonos! But I’m out of here.”
“NOM-NOM!”
“No, she doesn’t let me escape…No, I’m an apex predator, I’m not supposed to be eaten!”
“Serves you right, coward! Oh no, not my entrails! Grandpa Aragog, save me!”
“NOM-NOM!”
“There is no grandpa Aragog, only death…I don’t wanna die. No, not my abdomen!”
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Nom-Nom now laid there, in the middle of the Potter Quarters common room, her belly inflated like a balloon, a look of utter contentment on her face, her tongue hanging out and a bit sleepy too. “Nom-Nom…” she slurred.
“And that’s how you deal with an Acromantula infestation.” Ron said.
Nom-Nom let out a huge belch. “No-ho-ho-ho-ho-hom!” she giggled in a tone that was almost drunk sounding.
“You enjoy yourself now, but you are going to hit the threadmill, missy!” Neville said as he patted her inflated belly.
“Nom-Nom!” she said in a way that sounded like ‘Worth it!’