Incorrect quotes with O5-1
Deadpool:And that's how my family died and I killed a doctor!
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Knight: And I’d love to be sorry for that, but we all know I’ve done much, much worse.
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Sam Howell: *Plays Slender: The Eight Pages*
*Jumpscare*
Sam Howell: *Jumps back* OH SH*T, IT'S A WHITE GUY!!!
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Deadpool: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.
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Jack Bright: *trying to buy a Father's Day card at Hallmark*
Jack Bright: Excuse me, do you have any that just say "You are my dad?"
Associate: Well, I-
Jack Bright: How about "You banged my mom?"
Associate: No...
Jack Bright: You know what, I'll just get a blank one.
Jack Bright: *writes* You are a father. This is a day. Here is a card.
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O5-1: Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The X makes it sound cool.
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Deadpool: But when all hope seemed lost, I had an epiphany!
Deadpool, earlier: I'm going to throw myself into the sea.
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*Jack Bright is ordering a cake over the phone*
Shop Employee: …and what would you like your cake to say?
Jack Bright, covering the phone to look at The Squad: Do we want a talking cake?
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O5-1, to the squad: And remember, if I get harsh with you it is only because you’re doing it all wrong.
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Alto Clef: In case you haven’t noticed, I’m weird. I’m a weirdo. I don’t “fit in” and I don’t WANT to fit in. Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on? That’s weird.
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Deadpool: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.
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Knight: I like wearing oversized sweaters. Not just because they're extremely comfy and cuddly, but because whenever the sleeves are really big, I get to flop them around and smack people.
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Knight: Then why are you coming along?
Alto Clef: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.
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Alto Clef: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming
O5-1: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak
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Deadpool: Okay, help me please!
Sam Howell: Got two words for you.
Deadpool: I bet they won't be helpful.
Sam Howell: Your problem.
Deadpool: I was right
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Deadpool: I CAN'T DO IT!
Sam Howell, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!
Deadpool: I CANT F*CKING DO IT ANYMORE
Alto Clef: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.
Deadpool:
Deadpool: I appreciate it,
Deadpool: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-
O5-1: Deadpool-
Deadpool: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!
Jack Bright: Deadpool we gotta-
Deadpool: YOU GOTTA DRAW A F*CKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.
Deadpool: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'
Deadpool, motioning to Knight: NOT F*CKING THIS
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Deadpool: Sam Howell... How do I begin to explain Sam Howell?
Alto Clef: Sam Howell is flawless.
O5-1: I hear their hair's insured for $10,000.
Jack Bright: I hear they do car commercials... in Japan.
Knight: One time they punched me in the face... it was awesome.
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And finally, the one everyone loves.
*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*
Deadpool: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Everyone:
Sam Howell: ...I did. I broke it.
Deadpool: No. No you didn't. Alto Clef?
Alto Clef: Don't look at me. Look at O5-1.
O5-1: What?! I didn't break it.
Alto Clef: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
O5-1: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Alto Clef: Suspicious.
O5-1: No, it's not!
Jack Bright: If it matters, probably not, but Knight was the last one to use it.
Knight: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Jack Bright: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Knight: I use the wooden stirrers to beat up you guys! Everyone knows that, Jack Bright!
Sam Howell: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Deadpool.
Deadpool: No! Who broke it!?
Everyone:
Jack Bright: Deadpool... Alto Clef's been awfully quiet.
Alto Clef: rEALLY?!
*Everyone starts arguing*
Deadpool, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.
Deadpool: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
Deadpool:
Deadpool: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
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