Deja Vu
“ Morgan, no no no no…” said a familiar voice as the boy heard small footsteps and a weight on the other end of the bed. High pitched giggling followed as he heard one of the voices curse.
“ Damn it, grab her.” said a voice he recognized as Tony. The boy slowly opened his eyes and saw the chubbier man shut the door quietly, carrying a little girl in his arms as Tony rubbed his hand through his hair, sighing loudly. The man looked a lot better with his arm in a sling and a lot of his wounds cleaned up. He was wearing a wrinkly band t-shirt and blue jeans, but he looked tired and drained as he leaned up against the wall. Peter stayed quiet as he tried to slowly sit up, the man looked over in surprise and a small smile crossed his lips.
“ Hey kid.” he said softly. “ You’re finally up.”
“ What? Did I sleep too long?” Peter asked as his adrenaline rushed. He was confused. Where was he? Liv didn’t like it when he slept too long.
“ What? No. No, you are fine.” Tony responded, slightly confused. Peter took a deep breath as he laid back on the bed, the softness almost suffocating.
" What the heck happened? Where are we?" Peter said in a daze, curiously looking around at the blank room he was now in.
" Well, yesterday we arrived here at my house and you…passed out. So Happy and I decided to bring you up to this guest room so you could rest." Tony said, while Peters finally caught a glimpse of the many bandages on his body, looking back at Tony in confusion.
" H-how did I get all of these?" Peter said as he looked at his body.
" Oh yeah, Pepper called a Doctor friend of ours and she came and patched you up because you were a bit beaten up."
" I don't remember that at all." Peter said as he poked one of his bandages on his arm.
" You were still completely passed out when she came up here, so I wouldn't expect you to remember any of that. It's honestly for the best that you were asleep for all of that. Hell I wish I was, the Doc had to patch me up as well and it was uncomfortable. You got the easy way out of being asleep throughout all of that." Tony finished with a light hearted laugh. He stopped though as he quickly noticing Peter trying not to make eye contact.
“ Are you hungry?” Tony asked.
“ No.” Peter said, he honestly felt terrible now that he was awake, with a creeping numbness trying to fight the voices in his mind. He wanted to sleep again, it had been so peaceful.
“ You have to be hungry Peter, you haven’t eaten in like fourteen hours.” Tony replied, this time his voice was definitely worried. A sense of guilt came over Peter, this man he didn’t even recognize that much was so concerned about him.
“ I’m sorry.” Peter muttered. “ You see this is where you zip it, alright? The adult is talking.” It was Tony’s voice he saw, his face blurry. He was angry with him in that one.
“ Don’t be sorry…” Tony replied, unsure of what to do. Peter lay staring at the ceiling, at least he wasn’t crying.
“ Shit.” Peter said aloud after a minute of silence. He gripped his head again as he mumbled something.
“ Yeah..” Tony said as sadness filled him. What the hell happened? A few tears escaped Peter's eyes again as he gripped his head, his eyes expressing an intense amount of pain as he quickly shut them tightly.
Everything hurt in his brain, it was on fire as he heard faint voices calling his name and saying different things to him. He sobbed weakly, feeling absolutely helpless against the chorus of voices in his head as he cried. He heard the floorboards creek softly as Tony came closer and placed a hand on his left shoulder. Peter flinched at this sudden show of affection. The comfort was unexpected as he looked up, opening his eyes to see Tony staring at him, his eyes red and tired. Peter trusted this man.
“ I’m sorry I tried to kill you.” Peter mumbled as he sat up in the bed feeling the numbness in his head back off a bit as the man switched to rubbed circles on his back.
“ Well it wasn’t pleasant but I’m alive.” Tony laughed a little bit at the unexpected apology. The humor seemed contagious as Peter found himself smiling a bit.
“ You smiled.” Tony pointed out as Peter sat up a bit, trying to hide how much that movement hurt by weakly grinning.
“ Yeah, I did.” Peter said quietly, but the smile quickly disappeared as he remembered what he had done to the man. The man’s arm in a sling was an ugly reminder of what he had caused. He rubbed tears that escaped his eyes, not wanting them to run down his cheeks.
“ Geez kid, if you keep crying you're gonna get dehydrated.” Tony said while grabbing a glass of water from the desk and handed it to Peter. Peter didn’t even notice how thirsty he was as he gulped down the whole thing, Tony staring at him with a strange expression the entire time. He studied Peter as he sat the glass back down slowly.
“ Hey, I know you just got up, but I need to ask you a question.” Tony said hesitantly, puttting his hand on the kid’s back again. “ Do you know where your Aunt May is?”
“ May?” Peter croaked. A rush of happiness went through him as the man spoke her name but it was replaced by fear. They don’t know where she is?
“ Yes, May. We need to help her Peter, where is she?” Tony asked again gently. Peter thought of the woman, seeing her face. He squeezed his eyes shut, begging some memory to reveal itself, to say where she is. Nothing came, all he felt was a familiar nothingness.
“ No.” Peter said finally burying his head in hands.
“ Kid, this is really really important. Do you have any idea where-”
“ I DON’T.” Peter yelled. Tony flinched and hesitated to put his hand back on the teens back. Peter didn’t mean to yell at Tony but the grief and anger whirrled inside like a tornado.. The emotions were in a mush, like a rock in his stomach. It was hard to think about the women without crying but he didn’t know why. He missed her.
“ Look, it’s not your fault.” Tony spoke carefully. The kid merely shrugged and stared at the wall, no emotion written on his face and fist clenched, the knuckles visabally white. Whatever was in his head he was clearly fighting.
“ Do you want me to leave?” Tony asked.
“ No. I don't know.” the boy said quickly, his voice almost begging him not to. Tony nodded and stayed as they sat in silence. As the clock ticked bye a few more minutes Tony heard Pepper call for him downstairs.
" Hey sorry kid I have to go, but you should try and get some rest." Tony said, looking back at Peter.
" But I-"
Tony cut off Peter mid sentence, " Eh no buts."
Peter waited for Tony to finish before he finished his sentence. " I just woke up though?" Peter finished slightly confused. " The rest will help you heal, kid and by the looks of it you have a lot of that to do."
The teen merely shrugged. “ Well then so should you, you look exhausted.”
" Wow." Tony replied, his face contorted in mock offense. His face dropped for a millisecond as Peter didn’t return the humor like he used to, instead he looked
mildly confused. Tony opened the door but hesitated before shutting it.
“ And I know teens have weird sleep schedules or whatever but I would get some rest tonight, I’m assuming you haven’t gotten much.” he finished and shut off the light before closing the door, plunging the room into darkness.
--- ------ ------ ----- ---- ------- ----
Peter found himself tossing and turning all night, trying to desperately fall asleep. He was so tired, his body aching for some rest, but everytime he shut his eyes he never fell asleep. Just staying in this weird state of half asleep but half awake. As he lay awake heard voices slowly dwindling off downstairs as he tried to succumb to the tiredness, but it didn’t work. A little girl had been put to bed by Tony first and slowly everybody left, leaving only the soft sounds of a TV and Tony occasionally talking to his computer. Groaning he turned on his left side, the softness of the bed almost painful as he checked the clock on the bedside. It was eleven thirty. Tony had left only two hours ago but it felt like an eternity.
Reluctantly opening his eyes again he saw the door of the room, maybe going to the bathroom would help him fall asleep. Maybe that was it, he just needed to use the bathroom and then he could go back to bed and be out cold for the night. Trying to convince himself that was the answer he stepped onto the cold hardwood floor. He reached for the handle of the door and tried to open it, before he could even turn the handle completely the computer on the desk lit up blinding Peter with the sudden
change in lighting.
A strange voice called out from the computer " I'm sorry Peter but Mr.Stark doesn't want you to leave this room."
Peter looked around in a slight panic as he instinctively put his hand by his ear to feel an ear piece that was not there. " He-hello? Hello, who are you? " Peter said, looking at the computer.
" My apologies Peter, my name's Friday. I am the AI created by Mr.Stark, and he has ordered me to keep you inside this room until morning."
" Oh...um I just need to use the bathroom.” Peter mumbed feeling stupid for talking to a computer. The room was silent for a minute.
" You can use the bathroom in your bedroom." The AI responded after a moment of silence. Peter groaned, he needed to get out of the room.
" I know it’s just that this bathroom is um broken. Yeah it's broken, the toilet is broken, um it won't flush.” the kid said as he lied through his teeth. “ I was just gonna use other bathroom down the hall instead.”
“ I’ll alert Mr.Stark the restroom is in need of repairs-”
“ NO!” Peter yelled. “ No just- he’s sleeping I’ll just use the other bathroom it’s fine.”
“ Mr.Stark is not sleeping. He is awake downstairs.” The AI responded with what Peter swore was a hint of sass. Peter rolled his eyes as he tried to fight the desire to just rip off the door handle.
“ I know but he’s busy. Can I just-please?” Peter pleaded. A moment passed.
“ Alright you can use the bathroom but if you do not come back I will be required to alert Mr.Stark.” The AI said finally. He felt the door unlock and muttered ‘thanks’ before entering the hallway. He nervously looked for the bathroom and successfully located it a few doors down.
Peter got into the bathroom and quietly shut the door behind him. It was very late at night and he didn't want to wake anyone else up in the house. After a minute he was done using the bathroom and went to wash his hands in the sink. As he stepped in front of the sink he caught his first glance at his own face in the bathroom mirror, and was taken aback at the face that started back at him. His eyes were red and they had bags under them from the lack of sleep. His chin had a big bandage on it and he could see other bandages poking out from the collar of a shirt leading to his chest. His fluffy brown hair was a mess, he combed his fingers through his hair to help make it not as messy. When Peter brought back his hands from his head, giving up on the tangle of hair on his head, he accidentally knocked over a plastic bottle of soap off the counter. He frantically tried to catch the flying bottle mid air but it inevitably hit the floor of the bathroom with a loud, BOOM! Peter stood still for a second hoping he didn't wake anyone else up in the house. Then squatted down to pick up the plastic bottle off the floor, as he placed the bottle on the counter the sound of footsteps ascending up the stairs filled the air. Peter froze with a bit of fear hearing a knock on the bathroom door.
" Morgan? Is that you? You know you aren't allowed to be up this late young lady." Tony said from the other side of the bathroom door, fully believing Morgan had stayed up late again.
Peter took a deep breath then swung open the bathroom door to meet a very confused Tony staring back at him.
"H-hey Tony." Peter said back while putting one of his hands on the back of his head feeling embarrassed.
" Kid,what are you doing out of your room? And why are you up this late?" Tony said back as he stood very confused in the doorway of the bathroom.
" Well the computer lady named Friday said I could use the bathroom and unlocked the door for me." Peter said as he frantically tried to calm the nerves in him, reminding him of what Liv had done when he misbehaved.
Tony sighed. “ You have a bathroom in your bedroom.”
A sudden voice came out of nowhere as the AI quickly answered back " Sorry sir, I was going to alert you but he said the toilet in his bathroom was broken and you were very busy so I let him leave for a second."
" Whatever Friday you don't need to make those decisions for me, I could have gone up and fixed the issue. You still should have alerted me," Tony snapped.
" Right, sorry sir won't happen again," The AI finished.
Tony looked back at Peter who still looked really embarrassed. " Kid, why are you still awake? It's almost midnight."
" I had to use the bathroom." Peter mumbled, crossing his arms together.
" Sure.” Tony said as he observed Peter. “ And I’m gonna go out on a limb and say you couldn’t sleep. Hm alright, Come with me.”
" What?" Peter asked as confusion ran through him. How had he known that he couldn’t sleep?
Tony rolled his eyes. " I said come on, come down the stairs with me. I can't sleep either so we might as well both be downstairs and be insomniacs together.
Besides, I put a pizza in the oven and it should be done by now. So come on downstairs before my pizza gets burnt." Tony said, beginning to walk down the stairs with Peter quickly following behind him.
They both made it down the stairs and headed into the kitchen. With Tony going over to check on his pizza in the oven and Peter taking a seat at the kitchen table. Tony closed the oven door, it would only be another minute or two before the pizza was done. Peter was sitting in the chair and he stared back at the man in front of him, he seemed more relaxed than earlier. Which was probably a good thing.
Tony leaned up against the counter looking at Peter, who looked exhausted. " Kid, you look exhausted, you can go lay on the couch in the other room if you want. You don't need to stay in the kitchen with me if you're that tired."
Peter took a big yawn and stretched out his arm while responding " No I'm ok. I can’t sleep anyways.”
" And why is that?" Tony said, opening the oven to take out the pizza.
" Because I..." Peter trailed off as he bit his tongue. He wasn’t about to stress this man out even more.
" Bad memories?” Tony finished for him as he scrunched his face painfully.
“ I guess.” the tired teen said quietly.
“ You know um…” The man seemed uncomfortable as he picked up a pizza cutter. “ If it’s like- or if you wanna talk about it….”
“ No.” Peter said forcefully. Silence quietly covered the conversation as Tony slid a plate full of pizza in front of Peter and he began to eat hurriedly. He hadn’t realized how hungry he was and it tasted better than anything Liv had given him.
" Hey by the way, why did you say your name was Lyco?” Tony asked his tone both curious and concerned after a few minutes of awkward silence. It was very quiet in the room for a minute as they both chewed their pizza before Peter reluctantly looked at Tony and spoke.
" I-I don't know really, that's what Doctor Liv would call me when she was talking to me. I-I didn’t know that my name was Peter at the time." Peter explained nervously then put a hand on the side of his head gently rubbing it.
" Huh." Tony said as he chewed on a piece of pizza, his eyes spaced out.
“ Why are you up?” Peter asked quietly.
“ Oh- I’m just looking into some lead I got from Rhodey today but it’s nothing.”
“ You made a pizza this late?”
“ Yeah-” Tony laughed a bit. “ I didn’t eat dinner and I got hungry so… voila.”
Tony looked up at the clock on the wall, it was 12:10am. The older man sighed, another sleepless night. Looking back at Peter he saw the same look come over Peter's face, as if he was thinking the same thing.
Peter leaned back in his chair rubbing his eyes as he pushed the empty plate to the side of the table. “ I should probably go…”
“ Go where?” Tony asked as he set down his plate. He tried to hide the worry written all over his face but it was no use.
“ Back upstairs…” Peter said pointing upstairs. “ You are probably busy.”
“ Not unless you consider watching the news busy.” Tony said as he smiled slightly. Peter hesitated, unsure of what to do.
“ You know what…” Tony said as an idea struck him. “ I have a movie I think you will really like kid.”
“ I-” Peter stuttered. He wasn’t used to this man letting him stay out of his room. “ Aren’t you worried that I’ll kill you?”
“ Not particularlily.” Tony said as his smile faltered.
“ Oh, then um sure.” Peter said quietly and Tony gestured to the couch.
" I think you will really like this movie." Tony said with a smirk while grabbing the TV remote from the coffee table beside the couch. Rhodey had fallen asleep on the only reclining chair, leaving only the couch open for Peter and Tony to share. Peter took a seat on the very right side of the couch propping his elbow on the arm of the chair so he could lay his head on it. Tony sat in the middle of the couch and crossed one leg over the other before turning on the TV.
The TV turned on and the first thing that popped up was a news headline.
“ Breaking news! A building in downtown New York was blown up earlier today. The explosion and following fire injured an estimated twenty people with firemen still trying to locate the cause of the explosion. The explosion is thought to be attributed to the terrorist group the Flag Smashers but many speculate that Iron Man and War Machine could be partially responsible. Camera footage also shows an unnamed indivudal fighting both of them on the ro-”
Tony frantically stumbled with the TV remote as he turned it off. That's the last thing he wanted the kid to see, was that kind of stuff making the news. Tony looked over at Peter who’s face was ghost white as he bit his lip.
" Did- did I blow up a building?" Peter slowly said back, his voice breaking slightly.
" What? No, that was the flagsmashers" Tony said, glancing at Peter who finally took his face out of his hands, a worried expression filling his face. Tony began again,
" Look just ignore that stuff it’s bull crap.”
Tony switched the TV onto Netflix and started to scroll through. He glanced over at Peter who looked unconvinced as he dug his fingers into his wrist. Quickly Tony found what he was looking for as he switched on ‘Return on the Jedi’. He had figured the kid was a fan ever since the reference during the airport battle and he turned out to be correct.
" Here we go, you love this movie."
Peter looked puzzled at the TV screen looking at the movie that filled the screen. " I-I did? " Peter asked Tony, looking for some sort of answer.
Tony felt a bit of hope die as he nodded. He swore this kid would at least recognize something about it but whatever they did, he had no rememberance of the old Peter.
" Yeah you love Star Wars. Here I'll put it on, it's a good movie, you'll like it." Tony said as he clicked on the movie with the iconic sound of trumpets playing coming from the TV, the movie subtitles began to fill the screen.
Peter sat up a bit, a part of him felt connected to the idea that the old Peter liked this movie. Even if he didn't remember the movie it was still quite entertaining, he could see why Tony said he liked it. Peter could see Tony smiling slightly, he looked the happiest he had seen the man. About twenty minutes into the movie the man passed him a blanket with a soft smile. Peter wrapped the blanket around himself as he continued to watch the movie, the fear of Liv had backed off and his mind felt almost normal. A weird sense of deja vu came over him as he let out a loud yawn, he hadn’t felt safe or sleepy in so long but with Tony right by him tiredness overcame him.
Peter resituated himself in the chair so his head lay against the back of the chair as he scrunched up his legs underneath himself his feet hit the back of the arm rest behind him. Peter laid facing Tony who still looked captivated in the movie. Peter laid there for a while still watching the movie. He could still hear very faint voices in his head which still didn't let him fully fall asleep.
Tony saw Peter laying his head against the back of the couch still trying to watch the TV. Tony shifted himself on the couch, not noticing he was sitting on top of some part of the blanket. While he shifted himself it pulled Peter who was all wrapped up in the blanket closer to him, the kids head fell onto Tony's shoulder. Peter slowly lifted his head off of Tony's shoulder and rubbed his eyes. The memory of the an identical scenario before this flew through Tony’s mind as he hesitated and slowly put his arm around the kid.
“ Hey you're alright kiddo, I don’t mind being a human pillow.” he joked dryley as Peter started to get up. The boy hesitated. “ Morgan uses me for nap time all the time.” Tony continued as Peter put his head back on Tonys shoulder, the vague noise of Tonys heartbeat filled Peter's ear making him feel calm and safe.
Tony sat there with Peter quickly falling asleep on him in a matter of seconds, the kid must have been so exhausted to knock out that quickly. After a long time and still watching the movie on the TV Tony could hear Peter start to stir and murmur stuff he couldn’t recognize. It was strange, after everything that had happened in the past day or so to end it like this. Watching Star Wars. But it gave him some hope that Peter could fight what they’d done. As time passed Tony felt himself doze off for a little while before peeking his eyes open to the movie done. He enjoyed the background noise and put on the next one on.
The sun would be coming up soon, and Tony didn't really have any curtains downstairs so the sunlight would come through every window blazing in from all angles. Tony looked down at Peter who was still sound asleep against him, he needed to get the kid upstairs in his own bed. He could close the curtains in Peter's bedroom to block out the sun for awhile longer so Peter could get the much needed sleep.
Unfortunately carrying him was out of the equation as his arm still burned slightly in the sling. He gently nudged Peter’s shoulder until the kid was just awake enough to walk up the stairs as Tony led him, his eyes barely open the whole time. The kid flopped onto the bed and fell asleep again within seconds. A trick he’d learned from college and a drunk Rhodey who needed to go back to his own dorm. Just awake enough to walk.
--- ------ ------ ----- ---- ------- ----
Peter woke up from his slumber about five hours later, to the sound of Tony typing on the computer. He slowly opened his eyes to the subtle light of the sun desperately trying to make its way into the bedroom through the closed curtains. He turned his body so he was on his left side and looked up at Tony who finally realized he was awake.
" Hey kiddo, how'd you sleep?" Tony asked as he places one hand on Peter's shoulder.
“ Good.” Peter said as he yawned, he hadn’t felt this normal in a while.
"Yeah, I was thinking-." Tony stopped talking as he felt his phone buzz on the desk in front of him, he picked up his phone and it was a random number. A bit of hope came across him, it could be Bucky finally calling back. Tony sighed and looked at Peter, “ I have to take this call.” Tony said quietly getting up and closing the door, locking the door behind him as he answered the phone call.
“ Hey, took you forever to answer.” Bucky said with mild irritation.
“ Yeah, I was dealing with something.” Tony said as he leaned against the wall in the hallway, grateful no one was around.
“ Oh yeah Sam told me you found the kid.”
“ We did, and…” Tony sucked in a breath, trying to say the words aloud. Bucky impatiently cleared his throat on the other end.
“ He’s been brainwashed, used by whoever as like some sort of assassin or hitman.”
There was a long pause, he could feel Bucky thinking through what he had just said before speaking. Guilt spread through Tony for many different reasons.
“ Like the winter soldier?”
“ I think so… his memories are all jumbled. He almost killed me and Rhodey before he came to his senses.”
“ Yeah.” Barnes said softly. “ You called to ask how to fix it.”
“ I didn’t know who else.” the billoianre admitted. “ I know the water under the bridge here is practically overflowing I just- I just need help. I have to help him.”
“ Did he recognize his aunt or whoever Sam said he lives with?”
“ Well we don’t know where she is.”
“ Oh.”
“ Look. I know these memories are probably less than ideal to bring up-”
“ Thats one way to say it.”
“- but how are you stable? What happened?” Tony asked, trying not to sound as desprete for anwers as he was. On the other end he vaguely heard Bucky tapping a pencil nervously.
“ Steve took me to Wakanda. They helped remove the numbness, remove the winter soldier.” Bucky said finally.
“ Would they take Peter?” Tony asked, hopefulness filling his voice.
“ Maybe… I’ll talk to them. There is a lot of crap going on right now but I’ll see.”
“ Thank you.” Tony said with a breath of relief.
“ Yeah it’s no problem… and for what it’s worth Tony I’m sorry. About a lot of things.” Bucky said with sincerity, his voice laced with a ton of guilt.
“ Thanks.” Tony replied, emotions coarsing through him, the image of his dead parents burned in his eyes as they watered a bit. He couldn’t forgive him, not yet. He quickly hung up before closing his eyes as he leaned against the wall for another minute, trying his best not to collapse from the never ending cascade of problems.
--- ------ ------ ----- ---- ------- ----
Tony had left and talked to someone on the phone for about twenty minutes. Not that Peter was keeping track of time, but he had nothing else to do but stare at the clock and mindlessly watch the second hand tick. Or at least nothing else he could do that he could be sure he was allowed to do. He heard the man hang up and could hear quiet conversations from downstairs. He wondered who the little girl was, her eyes looked like the mans- what was his name again? Oh, Tony. The little girl's eyes looked like Tony’s. The numbness had backed off a bit, he had felt a connection to his old self last night with Tony and when he woke up but a sudden wash of anxiety came over him that ruined his pleasent mood. The words of the TV and Tony’s panicked face, had he burned down that building? After about two minutes Tony opened the door again, his face drenched with anxiety and guilt and a range of emotions no person should be able to feel all at once.
“ Look I don’t want to be rude but uh- do you want to take a shower?” Tony asked, his tone sounding a bit short, the gentle tone he had used before gone.
“ Yeah.” Peter responded. He did need a shower.
“ Good, uh I grabbed a towel and the bathroom is in that door right there. Just be careful around some of your bandages. Most of your wounds have probably scabbed over by now but the force of the water could make them start to bleed again. So keep the water pressure low on the shower, you can figure out how to do that once you're in the shower it's not hard.” Tony gestured to a door Peter hadn’t noticed. Nodding numbly he grabbed the towel. The man looked awkward as he pulled out a stack of clothes.
“ And uh all your clothes are at your apartment so here.” The man sat a stack of clean clothes on the bed.
“ I don’t live here?” Peter asked. He had no idea where he lived but he assumed it was here because that’s where they had brought him. The backgrounds in all of his brief memories with May had been too blurry to see where she was. Or he had completely forgotten.
“ No, you lived in Queens.” Tony said his eyebrows furrowed.
“ With May?” Peter asked quietly, his voice breaking. He wanted to see her.
“ Yeah, with May…” the man trailed off lost in thought.
“ You don’t know where she is? Did Liv take her?” Peter asked, his voice filled with fear. He saw her face briefly in a memory as he waited for Tony’s answer. She was smiling, and her long brown hair was flowy down her back.
“ We are trying to find her kid.” Tony responded after a minute as he rubbed his hand through his hair. Exhaustion was written all over his features as he placed his hand on the door knob, unsure if he could leave.
“ You could go, maybe take a nap. You don't look good.” Peter said as he tried to swallow the lump of unexplainable grief in his throat.
“ Yeah that’s probably a good idea.” Tony admitted and he gave a weak smile before shutting the door.
Once Peter heard the door lock he shut the blinds and began to numbly take off his clothes before wrapping a towel around his waist and slowly opening the door to the bathroom. It looked way nicer than any shower he had taken when Liv controlled him, with the walls all painted a calming brown-gray and the sink looked like it belonged in a museum. The shower had clear glass panes surrounding it and the floor was made of marble. Peter gently stepped into the shower and turned on the faucet, trying to push away the thoughts about May. He didn’t want to have another breakdown here, he couldn’t do it. The warm water washed away the layers of dirt and ash covering his chest and legs and he washed his body with some expensive looking soap that smelled like pine needles. Once he finished shampooing he grabbed the towel and walked out to change, the tiles cool on his feet.
Peter was drying off when he heard a faint yell from downstairs.
“ No it’s fine Pep I can take a nap later! Come on Morgan let's go outside and play!” Tony’s voice trailed up to Peter’s room and a weird sense of familiarity filled him, almost like deja vu. He quickly changed into the clothes the man had brought him… damn it his name slipped Peter’s mind again. Peter felt a sense of anguish as he pulled the soft gray t-shirt over him and slid into the pair of jeans a size too big for him. Everytime that man looked at him it was always with sadness. Was he just a big burden to the man? Was he the cause of all of this pain and ruckus? Why couldn’t he ever keep that man’s name in his mind? Why could he barely remember May?
Frustration filled him again as he tried to blink away the tears in his eyes. So many questions and no answers to fill them. It felt like he was back at Hydra in a way, in both situations he was kept in the dark and he hated that feeling. He heard more voices float from downstairs, a part of him wanted to come down and see them, maybe they could help him find May or just give him some answers. He tugged on the door knob but it was locked. Of course the door would lock him in; these people still didn't trust him, even though he had trusted them to help him which still hasn't happened much. Peter ran away from the only familiar thing in his life to be with these people and yet they still keep him locked away in a room like a child in timeout. Anger boiled over as he ripped off the handle and pushed the door open. He heard the A.I voice announce his departure from his room to the rest of his house but he couldn’t care less as he walked down the stairs, clutching the door knob in his fist.
“ Peter,” said a stunned red headed woman quietly. The man in the gray suit was lying on the couch asleep and the chubbier man from before was staring at him from the couch.
Peter wanted to say something back but he couldn't find the right words to say. They all looked at him weirdly, like he might break or kill them. Would he? The voices called for him to cause distraction. A wave of anger filled his head again blinding him. He could take care of himself,he doesn't need these people and he doesn't need Hydra.
“ Did you wanna see Tony?” Pepper asked gently, her voice laced with fear. Tony, that was the man's name Peter thought to himself.
“ No.” Peter said angrily. The numbness came over in a blinding rage as he saw the door outside. It was freedom. Maybe May was outside, he thought nonsensically. He burst outside into the warm evening air and saw a surprised Tony holding a little girl in a tiara on his shoulders.
“ Kid are you alright?” he asked, his voice filled with concern. He heard people running out the door after him as Tony stared at him with confusion.
Peter tried to say he just wanted to come downstairs, to see if someone could help him find May but he couldn’t say anything and just shrugged as he stares off into the distant forest. “Find Tony.” It was May again, the memory surfaced clearer than most as she screamed at him again to find Tony. He had found Tony, why had she wanted him to do that?
“ S-She said to find you.” Peter spoke to Tony, his voice tense with frustration and anguish. Another wave of numbness threatend to overtake him, to make him do
something stupid he couldn't control.
“ May?” the chubby man asked. Tony looked between the heavier man and Peter, trying to decipher what to do.
“ May said to find you. That's all I can remember, her screaming at me in my head to find you.” Peter repeated as he felt helpless. If Tony was truly going to help him, why were the voices still here. Why hasn't Tony fixed his head yet? He had said last night he would help. But last night, the connection was gone and replaced with the fear and anxiety of this new Peter.
The numbness came back strong in his head trying to take over his mind, ordering to kill Tony. Peter put his palm to his forehead and found himself biting his lip so hard blood spilled out down his chin. He didn't want to hurt Tony, but the voices demanded it and it was getting harder and harder to resist. That’s when it hit like a wave in the ocean knocking Peter over as he lost control. Peter's vision became very cloudy and he could only make out rough shapes and shadows vaguely. His ears started to ring as he faintly heard the adults yelling stuff at him. He planted both hands on his head as he shook his head side to side squeezing his eyes shut. His legs began to feel weaker as he stumbled backwards, falling to the ground on his butt as he pulled at his hair, trying to push the numbness out. To fight back against it, to get it to leave Tony alone. It hurt so much as he let out a short scream. His vision out of nowhere went entirely black, even with his eyes open he could see nothing. The numbness fully took over, for a second he got up to his knees and with muscle memory tried to reach for a knife from his non-existent belt. With no knife he got up on his two feet, stepping forwards towards Tony with no expression on his face.
Tony saw the sudden change in Peters as Peter marched towards him. " Kid? Are you ok? What the hell is wrong?! " Tony yelled fearfully to Peter but it didn't even look like the kid heard it.
Inside of his own mind he was put into the passenger seat. He tried to fight back and gain control over his body now moving on its own but to avail. He sat in darkness as his body controlled itself, but the darkness broke for only a moment as he heard the faint words 'Kid? Are you ok?.’ Tony! That was Tony talking to him, trying to get through to him. He mustered all the strength he could and fought back against the overtaking numbness that was controlling his body.
Peter's lifeless eyes started to blink rapidly as he squeezed his face in clear pain. He shook head quickly and gritted his teeth. A voice erupted from Peter's mouth as he screamed painfully. . Peter began to claw at his own face to try and rip out whatever was inside him. A final long and loud scream erupted out of his throat as he collapsed to the grass on his back. Breathing heavily a small faint smile emerging from his lips, he won the fight with the numbness... for now. His mind was finally clear and the voices were quiet, but who knows how long they would stay that way. It was silent and still for a moment as everyone looked at Peter still lying on the ground breathing heavily. Before long Peter sat up with one leg lying on the ground and one leg propped up with his right arm leaning on his knee.
Peter was still looking down at the ground breathing and coughing, not wanting to look at the people he knew were staring at him. He heard the crunch of grass as Tony walked up beside him and knelt down. A reassuring hand started to soothingly rub Peters back as his heavy breathing turned into weeping. He had lost control, the numbness took over him and he tried to kill Tony, he couldn't believe that the numbness actually broke through. He was able to fight it off for now but what would happen when he was too weak to fight it off? What would he do? He didn't want to think about that but his mind wouldn't let him focus on anything else.
“ Oh my gosh Tony is he okay?” Pepper asked, her voice laced with concern as she watched her husband console the distraught teenager.
“ I have no idea.” Tony snapped, his tone very stressed. Tony felt Peter slowly lean his head against his own shoulder. Tony quickly retracted his hand from rubbing the kids back and wrapped it around Peter. Peter didn't pull away; he just leaned into the embrace with his arms still by his side.
“ Shhh it’s okay kid.” Tony softly spoke to the kid, Peter dug his face into Tony's chest as he hiccup from the weeping. Tony just sat there with the shamble of a teenager leaning into his hug weeping. After a while Tony could hear Peter softly whispering something through his hiccups for air. It was hard to make out but Tony finally heard it clear enough to understand it.
" I'm s-s-sorry T-tony".