“Think fast,” Darcy throws a box at James Barnes’ head. He catches it and lobs it at Steve who catches it in the gut with an oof.
“This is Cards Against Humanity,” she continues, “I’ve stacked the deck with team-related things. Enjoy, Darcy out.”
Darcy flips her hair and attempts to moonwalk her way into the elevator, wiggling her fingers goodbye while Steve frowns down at the black box in his hands.
The Avengers turn in unison to Brock Runlow aka Crossbones with a questioning look as he is, in their estimation, the one responsible for anything Darcy Lewis does.
“She and Doc Foster have been up for 32 hours,” he says by way of explanation.
Thor nods sagely and plucks the box from Steve “‘Cards Against Humanity: A party game for horrible people’? Why would Lady Darcy recommend this, we are not horrible, indeed.”
“If I may, sir,” Jarvis cuts in, “Miss Lewis wished me to convey that ‘Y’all are horrible no good trolls and this will bring you closer, or something”.
Steve perks up. Bucky groans and sinks down in his chair. Nat quirks a brow and Clint shoots a suction cup attached to a string at the box stealing it out of Thor’s hands only for Crossbones to pluck it out of the air as it wooshed past the chair he was seated in.
“Ohh, we used to play this with Strike Alpha all the time before Cap joined and killed any chance of us doing anything fun again.”
Cap frowns as Crossbones tosses the box to Widow. “I’ma go make sure Darcy hasn’t passed out against the apartment door again.”
Crossbones successfully moonwalks his way to the elevator which opens to a sleeping Darcy somehow propped up against the wall. He smiles and scoops her up into a bridal carry. Darcy briefly squeezes his ass in her sleep as her arms flop down with gravity. He laughs and hugs her closer.
Nat feels supreme satisfaction at evidence of happiness in one of her most successful matches before opening the box and expertly dealing the Avengers their hands and selecting a black question card.
“Put your answers face down in front of me, I choose the best response that person receives a point. Question is: “Captain America’s greatest weakness is {Blank}”
Tony ends up winning with ‘Women in positions of power’ but the point could’ve easily gone to Bucky with ‘Whining like a little bitch’.
…
Two hours later it's a three-way tie breaker round between Steve, Clint and Pepper, but its Thor who they need to impress, and his sense of humor has been very difficult to predict.
“Friends, for the final round between these three worthy competitors I give you ‘The greatest plan the Avengers never followed through on, but should’ve because it would’ve solved all their problems, involved {Blank}”.
Pepper, who has just redrawn her hand from the last round lets out a sharp hysterical laugh and puts down a card.
Clint swiftly follows suit.
Steve looks at two cards with a furrowed brow. He squints at Thor and then back at the cards and carefully selects one and adds it to the pile.
Thor gravely picks up the pile and shuffles it carefully.
“The cards read thus,” he takes a breath and draws the first card.
“One. A dildo in the shape of The Hulk's fist.”
Tony coughs as he swallows his scotch wrong.
“Two. Whatever it is behind Nick Fury’s eyepatch.”
Natasha rolls her eyes. It was then that Thor, who has managed to maintain no expression every time he has been the questioner, breathed sharply out his nose.
“I need no deliberation, for this is the winner,” he says, “Three. Antman crawling into Thanos’ ass and expanding.”
The Avengers look shocked.
Steve breaks the silence with a resounding “YES! I won a pop culture game - You owe me a month of no match-making Natasha.”