In Virtue

Kitty sauntered into her classroom the next morning with an uncharacteristic degree of enthusiasm, with a bright smile lighting up her face. Her students would've been curious about this sudden optimistic attitude any other day, but today they were distracted, talking amongst themselves. Keeley's head was bowed close to Aaron, who whispered something in her ear. Bernie was craning his neck to catch a glimpse of what Todd was texting, and Todd had his phone tilted away from Bernie. Even Ranata was turned away from Kitty, her hushed voice barely audible as she huddled among a group of students in the first and second rows.

Kitty dropped her bag beside her desk and glanced uneasily from student to student, sensing her attitude wasn't the only thing that'd changed since last class.

“Good morning,” she said warily, only catching the attention of a few stragglers and outcasts. “Eager to start the discussion today, are we?”

The few, scattered students whose attention she’d managed to lasso returned to their conversations, or their phones, lost in the sea of hushed excitement. As Kitty’s eyes grazed slowly over the class, she felt a burning in her stomach. Suddenly, she felt like a student masquerading as a professor, a little kid playing dress-up.

“Hey!” She clapped her hands together with such force, her palms turned bright red. The attention of her students veered to the front of the room, with whispers lingering among the back row.

“Quiet!” she roared, slamming her fists down on her desk. The room fell silent almost instantly. The faces staring back at her expressed everything from alarm, to confusion, to fear and sorrow.

She swallowed hard and straightened up, smoothing over the papers she'd managed to rustle. Then, she cleared her throat and rounded the desk, leaning back on the mahogany edge.

“What’s going on, guys?” Her voice was thick and her eyes scrutinized the class, but the ire had withered away.

“I’m sorry, Professor. It’s just…” Ranata’s lip trembled, and she cast a tentative look back at her peers. When she turned back around, her eyes gleamed with pity.

“It’s Professor Drake. He’s missing.”

Kitty felt like she was looking at the room through a telescope, as if she was very far away. The faces seemed small and insignificant, and the light seemed far too bright and powerful.

Then, she scoffed and shook her head, despite the roots of trepidation anchoring deep in her stomach.

“No, no he’s not. I was with him last night, I -”

“Oh, you were with him last night, were ya?” Bernie snickered, slapping Todd’s shoulder with the back of his hand as if he shared some inside joke with his unenthused neighbor.

“But, he didn’t show up for class today,” Ranata continued. “And he didn’t cancel. He canceled yesterday, but that’s the last time anyone heard from him.

“Yeah,” Aaron exchanged a lingering look with Ranata that Kitty didn’t quite understand. “When he didn’t show up for twenty minutes, Kier and Donovan went next door to the black box theater to ask Professor LaBeau.”

Aaron exchanged another look with Ranata, his hesitation visible on his face, his eyes full of apprehension. Then they both turned back to Kitty, everyone had. All eyes were on her now. She said nothing, her heart throbbing in her chest.

Ranata gave Aaron a subtle nod, and he continued.

“Um, so, LaBeau tried texting him. Then calling him. His phone rang out until voicemail. She said he’d probably just overslept or something. So she’d called her husband, and -”

Kitty shook her head vigorously and held up her hand to stop him, seemingly waving the idea away.

“Remy doesn’t live with her.”

Aaron shot another look at Ranata, who shrugged, as murmurs broke out among the class.

“Okay, okay,” Aaron commanded assuringly, more to his peers than to Kitty. “I don’t know. Maybe he was just staying with her or something, then. But so her husband, like, knocked on Drake’s door or something and he didn’t answer. So then apparently he went around to the front of the house and the windows were open, I guess. So he yelled in for Drake, but apparently he wasn't there. The doors to the other rooms were open, his keys and phone were on the table, but he wasn’t anywhere.”

“And, you’re saying Professor LaBeau told you all of this?” She jeered, a dark grin forming tightly on her face. 

“Well, most of it, yeah. We were in the room with her. And then Kier filled in the rest.”

“But that’s not even the weird part,” Keeley cut in, her words were rushed and her voice was shaking as if she worried someone might cut her off. “We all said that LaBeau should go check on him, herself. But she said, no, she had a theater to run, after all. But we were totally invested by this point, so we insisted that we would stay and behave. And she said, ‘alright,’ and went to get Dr. Grey to watch the class. But she wasn’t in her class, either! Her students were working on group projects, by themselves. None of them had seen her.”

Kitty laughed cynically now, clapping her hands in a way that filled Keeley’s eyes with dread, and made Aaron look down. Ranata frowned up at her and bowed her head.

“Well, had Scott seen her?" She giggled, overcome by the absurdity of her life and convinced this was some sort of elaborate prank. "Um, Dr. Summers, I mean.”

“She went to ask Summer’s, in his office,” Keeley continued softly, wiggling uncomfortably in her seat. “But he said he thought she slept over at a friend’s house,”

“Right,” Bernie said, slapping an increasingly agitated Todd’s shoulder again. “So, clearly, that so-called friend was Drake, because she’s having an affair with him, isn’t she?”

“Jean is not having an affair with Bobby!” Kitty laughed again, more in disbelief, now, than mockery. “Honestly, I’m appalled at the suggestion. This was a funny joke, guys, but that’s crossing a line.”

The class fell silent and many students avoided her gaze. Even Bernie was quiet now, his head bowed.

The tense silence lingered uncomfortably, to Kitty’s disbelief. At first, she was shocked at how seriously they were taking this joke. Then, she was angry that they would do this to her. Finally, realization set in, and she sobered up, feeling an uneasy quietness inside of her.

“Professor?” Ranata spoke up gently, looking up at Kitty with reassuring eyes. “I don’t think anyone meant to suggest anything disrespectful. There’s just been a lot of talk, is all.”

Kitty slumped back on her desk, her mind crowding with all the old fear she’d tried to shut out.

“We’re all really sorry. I know you and Professor Drake are close, so I think we just hoped you would know more.”

Kitty’s gaze trailed aimlessly over the floor, her eyes vacant. She said nothing. She was lost in her head. Ranata sighed with distress and looked back at Aaron who shrugged, then Keeley, who shook her head.

Kitty closed her eyes for a moment and swallowed hard. She was aware of the class again, and she felt a pang of regret.

“I’m sorry for getting worked up over this. It’s just -”

The class erupted into a chorus of sympathy, of many “don’t be sorry”-s and “no, you’re fine”-s. She looked over at the students who were, unanimously, attempting to comfort her - their professor. And she felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude. It took a truly wonderful class to do what they did in that moment, to step outside of themselves, and accept human error in a superior. It took maturity, and empathy, and she had a full class of students who supported her, even though she’d done a poor job at supporting them. And suddenly she was sorry for those times she’d snapped at Aaron, for being irritated at the frequency with which Ranata raised her hand, for raising her voice at Bernie over some harmless gossip. She sighed, drawing in a staggering breath, and continued.

“Thank you, thank you all. You are truly incredible young adults. But I should’ve been more responsible than to behave the way I did. Forgive me. I saw both Dr. Drake and Dr. Grey last night, so, I’m sure they’re fine. There must be a reasonable explanation for this.”

Many students murmured in agreement and mutual assurances. Although they weren’t all good actors, and worry crept into their sad smiles, Kitty was once again overcome with gratitude for their kindness.

“Especially because you said you saw Professor Drake last night,” Ranata assured her. “Maybe he just got his days mixed up and didn’t realize he had a class today.”

Bernie scoffed, crossing his arms. “And just left his phone and keys on the counter, yeah?”

“Shut up, Bernie!” Todd slammed his hands on his desk, and sneered at his neighbor. “Can’t you just stop?”

“Alright!” Bernie shouted back, defensively. “Jesus. I guess I will then, won’t I?”

“And why do you have to end every sentence with a question?” Keeley piped up. “It’s weird, I -”

“Alright!” Bernie shot up in a fit of guarded pain. “I guess I’ll stop that, too. Won’t I?”

Keeley bit back a laugh, and Bernie growled. “Oh, for God’s sake!”

“Hey, everyone, settle down.” Kitty raised her hands and spoke just loud enough to be heard over the bickering. “It’s been an eventful morning, there’s no need to take it out on each other. Why don’t we just call it a day, okay? Give ourselves an early weekend. I’m sure I’ll have answers for everybody by Monday. Or better yet, Professor Drake will. You guys have his class before mine, right?”

A few students nodded.

“Alright, there you go. Everything is fine, don’t worry. I’ll see you all Monday.”

Her concluding words were met with the screeching and skidding of chairs being pushed back as the students stood up. Pens were put into pockets, notebooks into bags, and friends huddled into groups as they left - although, the class exited with significantly less noise than usual.

Kitty forced herself to wait two minutes after the class was out, to give them time to leave the building. Then she hurried out of the room and towards the black box theater. As she’d expected, no one was there, and she rushed to the back of the room towards the rear exit of the building.

The back of the liberal arts building faced the front of the physics building, a fact which Kitty was grateful for.

She pushed through the heavy doors, glancing over her shoulder every few seconds, as if worried she was being chased. Scott’s door was locked and it was dark inside. There was a post-it-note stuck to the door, 

Office hours canceled

Family emergency

Will reschedule later this week

Kitty sighed, and put her hands behind her head, kicking the door. What did she expect? She started back the way she came and followed the perimeter of the campus back to the Victorian, making an effort to avoid the attention of curious students.

She hurried up the steps, and stopped in her tracks when she realized that the double doors were already unlocked, leaning slightly inward. Someone hadn’t locked the doors.

She decided to turn to the right, instead, and stuck her head through one of Bobby’s open windows.

“Bobby?” she called cautiously, but no one was there. Like her students had heard from Remy, the bedroom door was open and so was the bathroom. The front door however, was shut and locked, despite the fact that Bobby’s keys were sitting on the table.

Did he climb out the window?

Only one way to find out. Kitty pulled herself onto the windowsill and swung her legs around so her feet touched the laminate floor. She peered into the bedroom, craning her neck to get a good look. She slowly approached the open door. The bed was neatly made, and the TV was on. The cookies she’d brought just last night were sitting on the bed, half-eaten, beside a notebook. The DVD menu of Interstellar was running on a loop, the remote and DVD box thrown carelessly on the pillow. 

Kitty approached the bed and looked underneath. There were a few boxes of DVDs and comics, nothing significant. As she stood up, she scolded herself for being so silly to think there was even a slight possibility Bobby would be under the bed, and her face flushed with embarrassment despite the fact that she was alone. Her eyes landed on the notebook on the bed, and she pulled it towards her. After reading the list over a few times, she realized it was something resembling a lesson plan.

Interstellar (2014)

• Ask the science kids if this movie is possible.

• Make Scott watch this.

• Matt Damon’s gone full-out Mr. Ripley.

• Moral dilemma - if you had to choose one, should you go with your heart or your head? Would you make someone choose to sacrifice their loved ones if the future depended on it? Would you sacrifice your loved ones if the future depended on it?

• Tell Kitty these cookies are incredible.

• How does Cooper’s future-self compliment his current-self? How do they w

The entry ended abruptly, and Kitty traced over the mess of words, and chuckled despite the tears in her eyes.

She felt the distant vibrations of feet stomping on the porch of the Victorian, and heard people arguing outside. She put the notebook back and crept to the front room. She recognized the distressed voices of Anna and Scott. 

“You said that Kathryn disappeared with Max for hours,” Scott said, his voice was tight and his teeth were gritted. “Where do you think they went? What do you think they talked about?”

“I don’t understand,” Anna was breathless, and exhaustion was evident in her voice. “Jean, Max, and Charles had their book club, you’re saying. But Bobby wasn’t in that. He had nothing to do with that.”

“Right. But I’m saying, have you seen Katheryn?” Scott asked, though it didn’t sound as if his question was directed to anyone in particular. “Has anyone seen Kathryn? Maybe she’s involved in this, too.”

“Kier texted me that apparently she showed up for class. I have no idea where she is though.”

“Well, see that’s step one!” Scott spoke with a quiet energy that opposed Anna's frustration and exhaustion. “We start with Kathryn, find out -”

Kitty poked her head back out the window.

“Anna?”

“Kathryn!” Scott jumped, his eyes wide with surprise. “Where did you -”

“Thank god,” Anna sighed, her voice dragging with desperation. “Do you know what’s going on?”

“Yeah,” Kitty swung her legs back over to the porch. “I heard about it from my class. Bobby and Jean, have you found them?”

There was a pause; Anna bit the inside of her cheeks and Scott’s eyes roamed over towards her, as if he was waiting for instructions.

“It’s not just Bobby and Jean,” she started slowly. “It’s also Charles and Max.”

Kitty didn’t say anything. There wasn’t anything to say. Rogue furrowed her eyebrows and flared her nostrils.

“Kathryn, you need to tell me what’s going on. Now. Where did you go with Max? Kier said you were with Jean and Charles yesterday?”

Kitty swallowed hard, and looked around, miserably. Scott surged forward as Rogue extended an arm to stop him.

“Kathryn, did you talk to my wife? Did she say anything out of the usual?”

Kitty shook her head. “No! She seemed perfectly fine, I don’t know what’s going on.”

Rogue gritted her teeth.

“Okay, well, considering you were the last one to see three out of four of these people, we’re going to need a little more than that.”

“Three out of four?”

“As far as we can tell, you were the last person to see Jean, Max, and Charles.”

“I was the last person to see Bobby, too.”

Anna and Scott were stunned into silence and looked at her with wondrous horror. But Kitty didn’t notice. The pieces of this mystery were sliding into place, though very slowly. She couldn’t see the big picture yet, but she felt it, just out of her reach.

“When did you see Bobby?” Rogue breathed, her jaw clenching, her eyes seemed as if they were red with warning.

“Last night, I brought him cookies because he’d dropped those cookies he was holding, right before we went to see Logan’s grave. And I went over to apologize for that day, for making you guys wait and worry. I wanted to apologize to you, too, but I couldn’t find you. I’m sorry, Anna. I am.”

There was a tremble in her voice, and her gut wrenched. She was more sorry than Anna could ever know. She was more guilty than Anna could ever know.

“Hm…” Rogue’s mouth was in a tight, white line, her dark eyes burning with fury.

“Kathryn,” Scott pushed Rogue’s arm away, stepping forward. “Tell us everything he said.”

“We just -” Kitty shook her head, a note of hysteria rising in her voice. “I asked to come in, and he was grading papers, and he mentioned that he’d canceled his class to stay in after the stress of the previous night. And then he asked me about Max, and I told him that I was having these strange dreams - about him, Max, you guys, Jean…I knew Charles before I even met him. I -”

She ran her fingers through her hair, frantically.

“Oh, Christ, not this again,” Rogue hissed, kicking the doors open wider and storming off inside. Kitty watched her helplessly and let out a sob.

“Kathryn, Kathryn,” Scott moved forward and put his hands on her shoulders. “Tell me more, please.”

Kitty was struck as she realized he was wearing sunglasses, despite the overcast skies.

“Why are you wearing those?” She shook her head, nodding to the glasses.

“Because I get migraines, often, and these are the only things that help. Now, please, tell me about when you last saw Jean.”

“Last night, at Charles’s house. We were in the living room, talking about Logan.”

“How do you know about Logan?”

“I knew him!” Kitty couldn’t see Scott’s eyes behind his sunglasses, but she felt his hands turn to stone on her shoulders.

“That’s impossible. Logan died a long time ago.”

“I know. I - I don’t know how to explain it in a way that makes sense to you, so you’re just going to have to trust me.”

Scott dropped his hands and straightened up.

“Okay, I can do that. What else did Jean say?”

“We were sorta talking about whether or not it’s possible to remember past lives, because we do, at least to a degree in Jean’s case. And I asked her if you remembered, and she said no. And then she asked if Bobby or Anna did, and I said Bobby might.”

“I…” Scott shook his head. “Remember what, exactly?”

“Certain abilities we might’ve had. Like Jean’s strong intuition comes from a much stronger ability in another life. Bobby’s love for the freezing cold might be tied to past memories.”

Scott laughed dryly and shrugged his shoulders, looking out over the street.

“Kathryn, I’m really trying here, but I don’t know what you’re trying to tell me.”

“I’m saying, I think they were experimenting with time and how people perceive reality. They wanted to know about the dreams I’ve been having, I don’t know…”

“So, what happened in these dreams, then?” Scott snapped. “Really, Kathryn?”

Kitty looked him in the eye as best as she could, and took a deep breath. The voice in her head warned her not to continue, logic told her to find the pattern in the disappearances.

“The world was ending. We were like a family, and we all had these special abilities. I could walk through walls, Logan was immortal and had claws, Charles was telepathic, Max could control metal, Anna could kill someone just by touching them, Bobby could turn anything into ice, Jean was telekinetic, and you had laser vision.”

Scott laughed darkly and then groaned. 

“Ah, Anna did say you were crazy.”

“Listen!” She was surprised by the power of her own voice, and she stepped towards Scott, her head held high and her gaze commanding. “By combining my powers with Logan’s, we were able to prevent the world from ending. But it changed all of human history and now I ended up here, Logan is dead, and no one else remembers.”

“Oh my god,” Scott took off his sunglasses and rubbed the space between his eyes. He put his glasses back on and sighed deeply.

“Let’s sort all this shit out first, and then we’ll get you help. Deal?”

He didn’t wait for a reply, but instead followed Rogue into the Victorian. Kitty stood, staring after him, feeling like a little girl who’d just been scolded for whining too much. She felt her lip quiver as her hands clenched into fists. 

She shouted in frustration, then stormed up to her room. She threw herself onto her bed and cried, feeling her tears stain her pillowcase. 

She heard a ringing sound, like a bell tolling somewhere far away and too close all at once.

“Ugh!” She exclaimed, lifting her head from her pillow. Her feet landed heavy on the floor as she raged out of the bedroom, snarling as she searched for the cause of that incessant ringing.

She caught sight of a bright light in the corner, on the counter, and realized it was her cellphone.

Bobby? She hurried to the phone and saw that the call was coming from an unknown number. She clicked the green button and held it to her ear.

“Hello?”

“Professor Pryde?” A voice sobbed from the other line. “Professor Pryde, it’s Kier. I hope it’s okay, I took your number from Professor LaBeau’s phone. I just - I can’t find my Uncle and my mom is away, and I just really need a friend right now.”

Kitty sank into a seat, her heart aching.

“Yeah, of course that’s okay, Kier.”

Kier sniffled, and sighed.

“Thank you. I just don’t know what to do. I’m so scared, I feel like I can’t breathe, and this house is making me sick. Have you heard any news?”

“No, actually, I just learned about your Uncle and Max. I had no idea they were gone, too.”

“Yeah, I just woke up this morning and they weren’t here. I didn’t think much of it at first, but as the day went on and Jean didn’t show up for class, I got worried.”

“Kier, we can solve one of your problems if you’re comfortable with it. You can come stay with me for as long as you’d like. Or, if you’d be more prefer, we can meet and get coffee or something for a while. Whatever you need, you just let me know.”

“Thank you so much, Professor Pryde. That would be great.”

“Okay, so -”

“I can take the bus back to campus.”

“Okay. I live in that big, old house just the block over from the bus stop, right across from Raven Hall.”

“The pink one, that looks like it has lace across the top?”

Kitty smiled and squeezed her eyes shut.

“Yes, that’s the one.”

Kier arrived on the Victorian’s doorstep twenty minutes later. As Kitty hurried downstairs to let them in, she breathed a sigh of relief to see that Anna’s door was shut. 

“Come on in,” she led the student upstairs, and left her door hanging wide open as she sat back down at the table. 

“Would you like coffee or tea? I also have snacks, uh, somewhere -”

“Coffee would be awesome, if you don’t mind. Thanks!”

“Sure!” Kitty swiveled back around in her chair and crossed over to the coffee maker. 

“I know this is a stressful time, Kier,” Kitty filled the clear, plastic part she didn’t know the name of with water. “But I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for this. I mean, it hasn’t even been twenty-four hours.”

“I know,” Kier sighed, taking a seat at the table. “It’s just kinda freaky, though.”

“Oh, it’s very freaky, I know,” Kitty chuckled, sliding a coffee mug in front of Kier and then settling in a seat with her own mug. “But I know we’re all gonna laugh about this when they come back.”

Kier took a sip of their coffee and then smirked.

“So, speaking of - and do let me know if I’m crossing a line here - I heard there might be a little something happening between you and Professor Drake?”

Kitty smiled and looked down at her coffee, giving herself away.

“Ooooooh!” Kier scooted forward in their seat, slapping the table with the palms of their hands. “Spill!”

“Well, it’s complicated. This… ‘little something’ has actually been going on for quite a long time.”

“The tea!” Kier exclaimed, holding their mug in both hands.

“You know,” Kitty shook her head. “I’ve never been totally sure what that expression means.”

“That’s because you’re old.”

“I’m only 28,” Kitty scoffed.

“Whoa, really? Okay, you just act like you’re old, then.”

They both laughed, and Kitty relaxed the tension in her shoulders she hadn’t even realized she’d been holding. 

“Wait, wait,” Kier waved their hands in front of their face. “So, are you and Professor Drake, like, official? I didn’t even realize you two were seeing each other. I should have paid closer attention when we were all at the observatory that night!”

Kitty slumped over her mug, her face hot.

“Well, we’ve been on-again-off-again for quite some time. We actually grew up together.”

“What?” Kier’s voice was shrill with excitement. “Say more right now!”

“I was only thirteen when I met him for the first time. We went to the same, uh, boarding school. I fell in love with him, instantly -”

“- Naturally, Professor Drake is an extremely handsome man -”

“- but he was a couple of years older, so we didn’t talk much. Then there was this one time he came to check on me, and I told him that I was homesick, and so he took me ice skating because that was my favorite thing to do back home.”

Kier gasped and covered their face, smiling under their hands.

“Stop, stop, I’m gonna cry, that’s so cute. I totally ship it.”

Kitty smacked her lips.

“Don’t know that one, either.”

“You know what you should do when everyone comes back? You should assign a book in your class, and then we should watch the movie version for Professor Drake’s class.”

Kitty rubbed her temples and closed her eyes.

“Kier, do not make me regret telling you all of this."

“I won’t, I won’t! I promise.”

There was a knock on the door frame and Kitty looked up to see Anna.

“Ooh, does Professor LaBeau know?” Kier squealed.

“Do I know what?” Anna’s eyes shifted from Kier to Kitty, her tone skeptical, her eyes narrowing.

“About Professor Pryde and Drake?”

Rogue sucked her teeth and turned those scorching eyes Kitty was getting to know so well on her.

“What about Professor Pryde and Drake?” Anna spat.

“Oh,” Kitty ran her fingers over the edge of her mug, relishing the moment. “Just about how we were seeing each other.”

Rogue raised her eyebrows.

“Seeing each other?” She sneered, holding out each word.

“Yeah, you know. Seeing each other.”

“He took her ice skating when she was homesick!” Kier squealed, excitedly. 

Rogue scoffed and shook her head, her gaze burning through Kitty.

“You’re unbelievable, you know that?” She punched the door frame, causing Kitty to look up and Kier to fall still and silent.

“Bobby wouldn’t have been caught dead going with you. He pitied you, felt bad for you. We let you tag along because you were so sad, and weird, we were worried about what you’d do if we didn’t.”

“He said I was fun and smiley.” Kitty offered up, audaciously. 

Rogue stomped her foot, her voice rising with every word. “He felt bad for you and he was too nice to refuse you!”

The room fell silent as Kitty and Rogue stared each other down, Rogue’s eyes blazing with fury, Kitty simmering with resentment. 

Kier half-stood up, then sat back down.

“I’m sorry,” they whispered, looking straight ahead to not make eye contact with either Professor. “I think I should go now.”

Rogue took a few steps towards the student.

“Kier, Professor Pryde is unstable and dangerous to be around. You should go home.”

“Dangerous?” Kitty shrieked, cynicism searing out of her. “Oh, that’s funny. That’s really funny, Rogue.”

Rogue stopped and cocked her head slightly.

“Professor Pryde was the last one to see your Uncle, Max, Jean, Professor Drake, and, now, Dr. Summers, too. I don’t know what’s going on here, but I’d really like for you to go home, Kier.”

“Wait, Scott’s gone?”

“Yes, Kathryn. As a matter of fact, he is. He never came inside this house, despite his eagerness to see Bobby’s apartment this entire morning. He seems to have disappeared after speaking with you.”

“But, what -”

“ - As a matter of fact, the only person I’ve actually seen in Bobby’s apartment is you. What were you doing there?”

“I was looking for him!” Kitty shot up out of her chair, her voice rising as her defensiveness increased.

“You could see his whole apartment from the window, there was no need to go inside. That’s breaking and entering, you know.”

“Well, I didn’t break anything, so I guess it’s just entering. Besides, I was looking for clues.”

Rogue grabbed the sides of her head and closed her eyes.

“Look, Kathryn, I don’t know what’s going on. But what I do know is that you were the last person to see and talk to all of these people before they disappeared. So, what are you talking to them about?”

“Nothing!” Kitty exclaimed, looking around frantically. “Nothing, I -”

And then she froze as her blood turned to ice. Her mouth was open, mid-sentence, and her eyes were wide with horror.

“What? What is it?” Rogue demanded, rapidly approaching Kitty until she was face-to-face with her.

“Oh my god,” Kitty wailed, her hands shaking, her world shattering.

“What?” Rogue demanded, her hands up in front of her as if she was ready to pounce. “Tell me.”

Kitty met her eyes, and this time, she didn’t cry. She didn’t crumble and break down, she was too tired for that. Instead, she held Rogue’s gaze. And this time, she didn’t see fiery rage in her friend’s eyes - she saw fear. These eyes weren’t the scorching coals of rage, these were the eyes of a petrified girl who was doing her best to put on a brave face.

“What is it, Kathryn?” Rogue’s eyes were welling with tears, extinguishing even the faintest traces of fire.

Kitty felt the tension leaving her body as a different kind of doom rose within her. A smoother kind, the kind that comes from acceptance and accountability. The kind that greets souls on death’s doorstep after a long, exhausting life. The kind that drives brave men into doomed battles and lingers in the corners of the eyes of the old and wise.

“Oh, Rogue, I’m so sorry…”

“Why do you keep calling me that?” Rogue cried, her voice edging on hysteria, and she took a step back.

“I -” Kitty shook her head, a sad smile creeping across her face. “Old habits, it doesn’t matter. But I do know what’s causing these disappearances. And you’re right, it is my fault.”

Rogue’s face turned a ghastly grey-white as her eyes widened with horror.

“Oh god,” she moaned, taking another step back and instinctually obscuring Kier, who was cowering against the wall and studying the floor. “Kathryn, what did you do?”

“I didn’t -” Kitty shook her head. “I didn’t mean to mess things up. I just wanted my friends back, but I can see now that I’ve made a horrible mistake, and I’m sorry. I’m going to find a way to fix this, I promise.”

Kitty took a step towards the door, towards Anna and Kier, and Anna let out a shriek, shutting her eyes and trembling in fear.

Kitty paused for a moment, taking in the sight of the fear she’d created. She needed to remember this, regardless of how difficult it might be to see. 

She’d thought she’d had her heart broken before, when the timeline reset and Bobby lost all memories of their time together. But the scene laid out in front of her, like a grotesque portrait of her failure, was soul-crushing. The hollowness inside her that had followed her around in this timeline suddenly flooded with guilt and shame, and for a second she was so painfully self aware, she felt like a million hidden eyes must be watching her. She took one last look at Rogue, who shielded Kier despite her own terror, her pale face grave and distraught. Kitty wondered if there’d ever been scorching heat behind those teary eyes at all. Sometimes we create a monster out of someone else to distract from the monster we've become.

She gave Rogue a curt nod and a tight smile, and then let her and Kier be.

Kitty ran over the stiff grounds, towards the cemetery, the cool air whipping her hair and stinging her face. It was getting colder now with the approaching dusk, and the heavy winds and the static in the air signified a storm brewing. 

She sank to the ground before Logan’s grave, basked in the shadow of the broad tree.

“I don’t know what to do, Logan,” she whispered, out of breath from running against the harsh winds. “I’ve spoken our friends out of existence just by telling them the truth. I don’t know what to do. You’d know what to do. It should be you here instead of me.”

Tears spilled from her eyes, although she didn’t make a sound. She didn’t sob, or wail, or even sniffle. Those were the actions of someone who’d been wronged, who’d earned their tears. But she was the one in the wrong now, and so, she was silent.

She pulled her legs towards her so that they were crossed, and then put her hands on her knees, palms up. She straightened up and inhaled deeply, the crisp air burning her nose. Then she closed her eyes.

Professor Xavier? she pleaded, envisioning him as he was just before the timeline collapsed. Professor Xavier, please hear me. I need help, please. 

Her gut wrenched and she gasped, scrunching up her face and throwing everything she had into the thought.

Professor Xavier, please. Things have gone very wrong here. I can’t fix it, I’m stuck. Please help me.

She continued to silently plead for a while longer, taking deep breaths when she could, and feeling her throat gradually tighten with panic as no one came to save her.

Her eyes snapped open, her breathing rapid and shallow. The sky was a strikingly dark shade of grey, nearly black, and the rolling clouds were low and heavy. The grounds around were dulled in darkness making everything look like a black-and-white movie. The air was thick, and damp, and she smelled the earthy scent of rain on the horizon.

It’s too cold for rain, she thought, taking in her surroundings. 

She took another breath and closed her eyes, consciously relaxing every muscle in her body.

Kitty? Kitty, can you hear me? she visualized her thoughts being swept away in the hefty wind, swirling through the sky and finding her in another time. She pictured herself the last time she had felt like the hero, Kitty Pryde - Logan unconscious before her, Bobby to her left, whispering sweet assurances in her ear. She could still feel the warmth of his breath against her neck…

Kitty was brought back to reality by the blaring of bells again, and realized her phone was ringing. Squinting through the rapidly approaching darkness at the bright screen, she saw that there was no number listed.

“Hello?” she held the phone up, shouting above the wind and plugging a finger into her other ear.

“Hello?” she heard her own voice echo back to her.

“Who is this?”

“You tell me,” the voice - her voice - shot back.

“I’m - this is Kitty Pryde, speaking,”

“Kitty!” the voice exclaimed. “It’s me. It’s you, I mean. I’m not sure how this is reaching you or where you are, but I felt this pounding in my skull and then our voice surged through my head. Are you really…you? Us?”

The phone slipped down in Kitty’s hand, the whipping wind seeming to constrict around her throat.

“Yes,” she coughed. “I need help. I’m in a timeline where we survived, but mutants have been written out of history. And I tried to explain to our friends what happened, but once I told them, they disappeared. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know -”

“You tried to tell them about my timeline? Why would you do that?”

“Because I didn’t want to be alone!” she stifled a sob and clutched her chest. She felt like she was suffocating as a particularly brutal gust of wind slapped her.

“I miss the way things used to be,” she yelled, gasping over the wind. “I want to go back.”

“Oh, Kitty…” the voice was quiet, and dark. “We can’t go back. If we went back to the way things used to be, then we’d end up back in this timeline. The one that’s ending.”

“That’s easy for you to say, you’re still there!”

“We knew we’d have to carry this knowledge with us. But the others are with you, and they’re happy?”

“Most of them, yeah.”

“Well, then, that’s a win,” the voice rose softly. It was the sound of hope, of gratitude. “Even if it’s not what we’d like things to look like, most of us continuing on in happy lives is the best possible outcome.”

The cold was biting at Kitty’s tear-stained face, dirt and debris dragging wildly around the cemetery. 

“But how am I ever supposed to move on? How do I keep going when I know the best days of my life are behind me?”

“There will come a point in every single person’s life when the best will be in the past. But that doesn’t mean the present is bad, or not worth living. Life can be beautiful, it can surprise you, no matter what stage you’re in. When we first arrived at Xavier’s school, we struggled to adjust. Remember? We’d have given anything to go home. But then it turned out to be the best time of our life.”

Kitty screwed her eyes shut and scrunched up her face against the powerful wind. She couldn’t see much of anything now.

“We’ve always tried to live in the past,” the voice continued, growing grave and distant. “I think it’s time to live in the present.”

Kitty coughed, choking on particles of dirt and dust.

“If we can’t go back, then just -” she shouted against the wind. “Just don’t tell anyone about our past, okay? No matter how familiar they are, no matter if they seem like they’d believe us.”

“I won’t if you won’t,” the voice was faint and faraway now.

“Goodbye, Kitty!” she cried into the phone, struggling to be heard over the phone. “I’ll always love you for living the best part of my life. Make sure to soak up as much as you can of those last few moments! You'll miss them more than you know.” 

The voice said something indistinguishable, and then it was gone. She was gone. 

Kitty dropped the phone and screamed into the wild wind. And for a moment she was overcome with envy for her other self. Her other self still had Bobby, her other self was still a part of the X-Men, her other self didn’t know how lonely life could be. She wanted to live, forever, in her other self’s final moments, Bobby at her side, Logan before her, her family around her. She screamed one last time, she screamed for the life she’d lost, and the version of her that was happy, and the family that would never be the same. She screamed until her face was red, and hot, and her voice was hoarse. She screamed for all the dreams she’d still had that would never be fulfilled. And when she stopped screaming, she let go. She let go of her life, her love, herself, her dreams, the ones that no longer existed. She screamed them all out of her, until she was empty.

She tried to stand up, but was quickly knocked back down, the wind howling and growling around her, pinning her down. She screamed and writhed around, but was unable to get free. A green brightness, like lightning, struck across the sky and she went limp with fear.

Was this the end, the true end for her?

She thought of Kier, who she promised to be there for, of sweet Ranata, and the rest of her wonderful students. She thought of Anna, who’d lose yet another friend, the last remnant of a life she couldn’t remember but felt nostalgic for sometimes. Of Jean and Scott, who she always looked forward to seeing, their humor and care were a bright light for her in any timeline. Of Charles, who’d welcomed her into his home as a stranger, of Max, a true friend. 

And she thought of Bobby, Bobby who was like sunshine, who was kind to everyone. How she’d let him down, how she’d let all of them down.

And then that emptiness inside of her was filled with something else, something there wasn’t room for when she held onto her past life. She was filled with such love and gratitude for this timeline, this life, the people here. She was so happy to be living this boring, lovely, stupid, amazing, messy, beautiful life she’d been so desperate to get away from. 

Please, she begged silently to the Universe. Please let me survive this night, and I’ll never fight again. I’ll accept this reality. But let me see my students again, let me spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to Anna.

She let out a scream that she couldn’t hear over the wind as the darkness closed in.

“Kathryn? Oh my god!” A sweetly familiar voice rose with panic and relief. 

“Bobby?” Kitty’s voice was dry and weak, and she felt as if she was a million pounds, a magnetic force holding her to the ground. 

“Kathryn, hang on. I’ve got some water in my bag.”

Bobby pulled her onto his lap, frantically digging through his backpack.

She sat up now, though her limbs were stiff and her joints cracked with each movement. She had newfound strength as she watched Bobby, and she forced herself up until she was eye level with him. He held out the water, and she drank greedily. She’d been unaware of how much she’d needed water until it touched her lips.

“Where were you?” Bobby cried, as he watched her chug the water. “We’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

She handed the empty bottle back to him and slumped forward.

“What?”

“Yeah, we couldn’t find you anywhere, yesterday,” he took her wrists, breathing heavily with relief and closing his eyes. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled, looking around at the neat layer of snow around her. “I must’ve fallen asleep out here.”

“Yeah,” Bobby shook his head and pulled out his phone. “Let me just let Anna know you’re okay.”

Kitty looked up, hazily.

“Anna was worried?”

Bobby wheezed, incredulous.

“Are you kidding? She was worried sick. She couldn’t stop talking about how you were her best friend, about what a good person you are, about how she didn’t know what she’d do if anything ever happened to you, etcetera, etcetera.”

Kitty shook her head, snow and debris falling from her hair.

“But…I thought she didn’t like me.”

Bobby looked up at her slowly, his face suddenly gravely serious.

“Oh, god, Kitty…” he moved forward and felt her forehead. “Maybe we should get you to a hospital.”

“What?” Kitty shook his hand away. “I’m fine.”

“Okay, well, you can’t be serious. Anna loves you more than anything else in this world, I mean -” Bobby scoffed and shook his head. “Are you sure you’re feeling okay?”

“Yeah,” a smile spread across Kitty’s face, and she leaned back, the palms of her hands flat on the snow. “Actually, I think I’m really okay for the first time in a long time.”

“Okay,” Bobby nodded with a slight smile. “Just give me two seconds to call her.”

Kitty closed her eyes, letting the sunlight filtering through the branches warm her face. Thank you…she thought, picturing her words floating away on the soft breeze, swirling up into the universe.

“Okay,” she heard the crunch of footsteps as Bobby came up behind her. “Can you stand?”

She took her time rising to her feet, one arm hooked around Bobby for support. Then they started towards the bus stop.

Kitty rubbed her arms, then rubbed her hands together. 

“I’m filthy!” She exclaimed, shaking out her clothes.

“Don’t worry, we’ll get you cleaned up. And when you’re ready, Anna would love to see you. She was ready to cancel rehearsal.”

“Rehearsal for…The Tempest?” Kitty sat on the bus stop bench and Bobby stood beside her.

“Yes, The Tempest. I hear it’s really coming along.”

The bus pulled up to the curb, and Bobby helped her carefully stand again.

“No, I want to go there and see the rehearsal. But only after I’ve showered.”

She stretched before she started up the bus steps. She looked up to see the same bus driver that had been so kind to her, Bobby, and Anna on the night she’d left them to chase after Max.

“It’s you!” she cried, her smile beaming out from under her dirt-streaked skin.

“Oh, hey, kid!” He leaned a forearm on the wheel so he could turn towards her, his smile fading into concern. “Are you okay?”

“I’ve never been better!”

He chuckled. “Well, okay then! Glad to hear it!”

“My name is Kate, and this is Bobby.”

Bobby leaned to his right so he could see the driver and waved.

“It’s great to see you both again, I’m Frank!”

“Frank,” Kitty said breathlessly, holding onto the railing. “I just wanted to let you know that you’re a ray of sunshine and a kick-ass busdriver.”

Frank’s eyes widened and his lips parted in surprise.

“Well, thank you Kate! That’s about one of the nicest compliments I’ve gotten in a very long time. You seem like a very sweet, young lady yourself!”

Kitty couldn’t stop grinning as she fell into the first available seat, Bobby settling next to her. He looked at her and smiled that brilliant smile of his. 

“You’re going by Kate now?”

“I thought I’d change things up. Turn the page, start a new chapter…all that.”

“I like it, Kate.”

She bit her lip, her cheeks warm, and smiling so hard it hurt.

She couldn’t believe there was ever a time where she wanted to escape this life.

Bobby waited for her as she showered and changed, wearing her hair in a half-up, half-down style he’d always liked. She threw on a pink overcoat and they headed over to the black box theater. 

Aaron had his arms stretched wide, directing two other students on the stage, who stood a little to his left. Anna was watching from the second row.

“Kathryn!” she rushed to the back of the theater and pulled Kitty in for a rib-cracking hug.

“Anna,” she wheezed, pulling away. “I’m so sorry, I -”

“I’m so glad you’re okay!” Anna gushed, taking her hands.

“It’s actually Kate, now,” Bobby cut in, leaning towards Anna and flashing her a cheeky grin. “I know that because I’m better friends with Kate than you are.”

Anna playfully smacked his arm, and the three of them went to sit in the second row, Kitty in the middle, flanked by the two people she loved most in this world.

“Okay, Aaron, we’re ready!” Anna called, propping her feet up on the first row of chairs.

Aaron stepped forward, commanding the stage with his dramatic posture. Kitty glanced at Anna, a veil of focus falling over her features as she watched her student, her gentle eyes full of admiration. Then, Kitty looked at Bobby, who smiled back at her and raised his eyebrows, taking her hand in his and turning towards the stage. Kitty took Anna's hand with her free hand, and she took a deep breath as her eyes fell on Aaron. There she saw, between the two people she loved most in the universe, in the place she was meant to be. She smiled and shook her head, in awe of her simple little life. She was engulfed in pure joy, a hopefulness for the future, and an overwhelming gratitude for the here and now.

The lights dimmed as Aaron began to speak.

“Now my charms are all o’erthrown,

And what strength I have’s mine own,

Which is most faint: now, ’tis true,

I must be here confined by you,

Or sent to Naples. Let me not,

Since I have my dukedom got,

And pardon’d the deceiver, dwell

In this bare island by your spell;

But release me from my bands

With the help of your good hands:

Gentle breath of yours my sails

Must fill, or else my project fails,

Which was to please. Now I want

Spirits to enforce, art to enchant;

And my ending is despair,

Unless I be relieved by prayer,

Which pierces so, that it assaults

Mercy itself, and frees all faults.

As you from crimes would pardon’d be,

Let your indulgence set me free.”