Who’s the best aunt?
I am a father. I am a dad. I have a daughter.I have a 6-year-old daughter. Peter said to himself once more as he splashed his face with water.
For Peter, everything happened so fast. It’s not like he didn’t like what happened, he was just… overwhelmed. But he knew better than to show it. Who would be strong in this situation if not him? Nebula doesn’t deserve any more burden. And he would rather kill himself than add to her worries. He already caused her enough difficulty.
First, he was the drunk friend who Nebula had to take care of. Then he was the guy who almost got Rocket killed. Next, he was the guy who got them abducted because he decided he knew better than to do what Nebula ordered. And then, he was the guy who just left and never returned. Until what? Until he had a fiancée to brag about? Yes, Peter had valid reasons for not visiting, but still… what if…
Peter thought he had dealt with all the guilt already. He was finally doing good. He moved on with his life and found contentment. Then this happened. And he couldn’t help getting mad at himself.
Having Ego the Psychopath, the monster who killed his mother, for his father, Peter vowed to himself he’d be a million times better than his biological dad. That when it’s Peter’s turn, he’d even be better than his real father, Yondu. That when Peter becomes a father, he’d be loving, caring, and everything that his child would need. He promised he’d be a great dad. And now, knowing that he was absent for 6 years of his daughter’s life, that his daughter grew up without him by her side, that it wasn’t him who taught her how to ride a bike, or that his daughter had to grow up wondering why she was adopted or if she was loved or not by her biological parents, Peter was nothing but disappointed and mad at himself. How could he let this happen? So much for being the best dad.
Even with all this at the back of his mind, Peter took it upon himself to be the strong, to be the least shocked one, to be the sane one, to be the shoulder his family can lean on. He had to be. For Nebula and Nova. It’s the least he could do.
Don’t get him wrong, Peter was happy about having Nova, I’m a dad. The thought does bring a smile to his face. But that smile was bittersweet. He couldn’t prevent that happiness from being mixed with a good load of regret. A huge part of him wished he could have a do-over, wished he could have those 6 years back.
Peter was disturbed from his thoughts when he heard the doorbell ring. “Can somebody get that please?!” He took this as a sign that he was already spending too much time in the comfort room. So, he took one last look at himself in the mirror and practiced his classic Peter Quill smirk. This smile, he had to put up in front of everyone the moment he stepped out of the bathroom.
And when he did finally step out, he immediately failed. He found it impossible to smile as his jaw dropped subconsciously after seeing his fiancée Alex walk into the living room, just behind his smiling daughter.
“Daddy, you didn’t tell me your fiancée was so prettyyyy!!!” Nova giggled, innocent as a child her age should be.
Alex gave un unsure smile as her eyes widened after hearing Nova’s remarks.
“Uuuuuuuuuuuuh” was all Peter’s mouth could muster.
“So,” Alex sighed as she looked around the room, seeing all of Peter’s friends that she knew so much about but never met. “Daddy, huh?”
“Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh”
“As far as I remember, you said, you’ll tell your friends about us getting married, not your first wife,” Alex joked, glancing a bit at Nova, “not that you’ve ever mentioned one.”
Peter swallowed “Uh, um… I swear that’s not what this is.” He was only met by Alex’s raised eyebrow.
But was it really not? Technically, Nebula was his first wife. Nebula and Nova were his first family. Even though he couldn’t remember it, it still happened.
As if they had some psychic link, Nebula entered the room, Rocket following shortly. The two immediately felt the tension in the room. Nebula, seeing the woman standing across Peter, knew immediately who that woman was. Peter’s fiancée was a beautiful woman with a kind face. Her expression was soft even with the evident doubt she’s exuding with her raised eyebrows.
“Uhhh,” Peter continued to stammer. “Can I explain?”
“Please.” Alex said, maintaining eye contact with her boyfriend.
Alex and Peter met while Peter was at work. He was a fireman, making the stereotype even more true. Firemen are hot. An oven left unchecked during thanksgiving caused a fire in Alex’s house. But it wasn’t until they met coincidentally in a movie theater that Peter asked Alex out. Sparks just flew ever since. Alex had been there with Peter even after all the craziness he’d shared her. She understood his past and never judged him for it. There was something he never shared with her though. Something Peter wasn’t even sure existed so he couldn’t bring himself to acknowledge it: the reason why he was avoiding Knowhere.
“Well, remember I told you before I was missing for a year?” Peter talked fast. He wasn’t really asking the question. So he waited for no reply and simply continued his story. “Well, I was missing with Nebula, and apparently, we were part of some maniac’s plan to create a peaceful galaxy by controlling everyone or something. So yeah, in that artificial planet, me and Nebula got married and had a kid. And we just found out literally a day ago, met Nova the same day—”
“Wait, Nebula? Not Gamora? The woman you said who was once the love of your life, it’s Gamora, right? Or did I get it wrong? Was it the Nebula one?” She faced Nebula. “So, you’re Gamora? And the one who died and lived again was your sister, Nebula?”
“Oh, no.” in a panic, Peter shook his head. “No, you got it right the first time. Gamora had not been with the us since we fought the High Evolutionary.” His talking just got faster and faster. “That’s Nebula.” He nodded to Nebula’s direction.
Alex narrowed her eyebrows as she took a second to think. “So, just to clarify, you have a daughter with her.” Alex kept her eyes on Nebula, “Your ex’s sister?”
“It’s not as bad as it sounds. It’s not like I intentionally date sisters. Nebula and I, we literally had no idea what we were doing while we were doing it. Some crazy mind control shit.” Peter tried to sound as little defensive as he could. But he knew he was failing. “Please, believe me. I would never lie to you.” Peter looked into Alex’s eyes, as he started to tear up.
“I know.” Alex loved Peter. And as conflicted as she was with the current situation. She knew what a mess he once was when she agreed to marry him. “Damn you and your puppy eyes!” She yelled at him as a small smile crept through her lips. With a sigh, “Peter, I got to tell you the truth… This is a lot.”
Peter walked closer to Alex, and when they were only a couple of inches away from each other, he took her hands with his. “I know.”
“I think I’m gonna need more time.”
Peter held Alex’s hands tighter. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
In their background, Nova squealed with excitement.
Alex brought Peter’s hands closer to her. "But… this…” She looked at Nova, then back at Peter. “I don’t know yet. I need… time. Can you give me that?” Alex’s kind smile brought comfort to Peter.
“Yeah, yeah.” Peter wiped the tear sneaking off his eye. Peter awkwardly tried to look away and let go of Alex’s hands. “I’ll be waiting.” Anywhere but his lover’s eyes.
Alex cleared her throat. Looking down, “Well, I better go to work now.”
“Do you want me to drive you? Let me just get my keys.”
Alex left out a small laugh. “Space too, Peter. I just need to…"
“I know, I know.” Alex didn’t have to finish her sentence. Peter understood. 2 years with this woman and they already knew each other like the back of their hands.
“Just promise me you two are just friends, okay?” Alex raised an eyebrow to Peter.
“Oh, it will take another snap with the infinity stones for me and Nebula to be anything more than friends, baby.” Peter gave Alex his signature grin that came with a suppressed laugh. It’s not considered lying if the more-than-friends only happened in his imagination, right? It was true it would take a miracle for Nebula to fall for an idiot like him, right?
“Okay, then.” Alex took Peter’s right hand one more time and pressed it. “I gotta go.” Alex almost gave Peter a peck on the lips but ended up deciding against it. Alex smiled in acknowledgement to everyone. Saving Nebula for last before walking out of the house.
“You didn’t tell me you have such a beautiful future wife, Peter. How did you ever got a woman like that to fall for you?” Drax said the moment the door shut.
For the next hour or so, the Guardians talked about Alex. Peter, hearing one compliment after another.
Nebula decided not to participate in such chat. For sure, she had nothing to say that the others wouldn’t have said about Alex already. Alex seemed fine. She seemed good for Peter. If, even after a bombshell in the shape of a little girl named Nova, she would still choose to be with Peter, then, maybe she’s too good for Peter, maybe. To say that Nebula wasn’t affected by the exchange between Peter and Alex, would be the biggest lie in the galaxy. But like she had told Rocket, she was letting go now. Easier said than done as her mind lingered on wishing it was her. It was her that he held, it was her that he said ‘I love you’ to. Even the asking to drive her to work, a stupid part of Nebula wished she was the one at the receiving end of that. Even when she had no need to be driven to work, as everywhere in Knowhere could be walked.
Today wasn’t the first time Nebula saw Alex. She had seen her once before, when she went to visit (it was more of a stalk, really, because she didn’t let him know she was there) Peter. She only saw them having a meal together with Peter’s grandfather. Laughing and smiling. But now, seeing them together. Seeing them as a couple, with Peter having to explain himself to that woman because that woman is the woman he was about to marry, with Peter holding Alex’s hands to assure her, to comfort her, it all suddenly felt so real. Peter will marry Alex. They would be together, forever. Nebula knew she had no right to feel any sort of pain over that. Peter had always been just a friend to her. A good friend that she was thankful for. A good friend she could trust her life with. Nebula hoped for Peter to at least regard her the same way. That at least, she was a friend he could rely on. At the very least, she was his good friend too. That was enough. He never showed any romantic feelings for her. And Nebula knew he never would. It was just her stupid mind that wandered too far, making her feel things for her sister’s ex-boyfriend. It was almost disgusting. Almost. But no, it was painful.
Before, she had to accept that Peter would never be hers. Because he already had the best, he already had Gamora. He would never settle for anything less. Never settle for her. And of course, Peter would find someone. Better than Gamora? Who knows, it’s for Alex to feel pressure now. Like it would be any challenge for the kind, loving, caring, sweet, beautiful Alex, with her perfect auburn hair and charming personality. Now, Nebula had to once again accept that Peter would never be hers. But the painful part wasn’t just seeing Peter and Alex together. It was seeing them together with Nova. Nova was so excited with Alex, and it hurt Nebula. She had never felt more out of place. They were a picture of a family. And Nebula definitely didn’t belong in that picture. Even when it came to being Nova's mom, Alex was the better option. What if Nova ended up loving Alex more? Could Nebula handle losing her daughter to Alex too? Just imagining it was causing Nebula to cry already. No. She couldn’t. She couldn’t handle it.
Stop it. Nebula told herself. This destructive thinking wouldn’t help anyone. And it definitely wasn’t helping her. Stop it. Nebula decided to keep herself busy instead to distract her from thinking. She went through the new kitchen Rocket had made her. He outdid himself and that put a smile on Nebula’s face. More than half of the appliances here, she had never seen before. I should really check that YouTube thing Peter’s talking about. But for now, she would go for the basics. So, Nebula headed out of the ship to go the market.
Just as she stepped out to Peter’s backyard, she saw Nova playing. The little girl must have had a wild imagination. Because she seemed to really enjoy what she was doing even though all of it was just running around with a stick and hitting the air with it like she was fighting some goons. Nebula didn’t understand how it was possible. How could looking at one creature make everything better? Nebula couldn’t explain how, but it just does. All the fear, worry, hurt, nothing was as strong as the warmth she gets inside every time she looks at her daughter.
Her admiration of her little girl was abruptly put to a stop when Nova tripped while running, and the little girl fell on her knees. Everything stopped. And Nebula’s heart started beating so fast. “NOVA!” She yelled so loud everyone inside the house rushed to the backyard. Nebula ran to her daughter and carried her to the ship. Peter, and the others followed. By the time she put Nova down the medical table, Nebula was already panting, and for the first time in her life, tears were freely flowing down her eyes, but she didn’t care. All she cared about was Nova. She frantically put 2 med packs over each of Nova’s knees.
Nova, who was lying down on the table, was left clueless, but also amazed by how a push of a button healed her bleeding knees. But the look on her mother’s face worried her. “Mommy...” she tried getting Nebula’s attention. “It’s just a scrape…”
Peter, who saw everything that happened in the med bay, was more worried about Nebula than he was with Nova. It was really just a scrape. The normal wound kids get for playing. Peter gently grabbed Nebula by the arms, “Nebula, are you okay?” he asked, heavily concerned by how Nebula reacted.
Nebula’s eyes were fixed at Nova’s now healed knees until she felt Peter’s firm hands press her arms softly forcing her to face him. Only then did she take a second to look at what was happening in the room. Everyone was staring at her with concern in their eyes. How could they not? Nebula was devastated. She was in shock, running out of breath, shaking, and she was visibly crying. Visibly. Some of them saw her tear up, like when Rocket was in danger. But to cry like this, nothing so bad ever happened yet that would warrant a wailing Nebula. So, when they heard her, and saw her carrying Nova onto the ship, they thought something terrible had happened. They honestly thought Nova died. “She fell… I saw blood… And I… I just…” Nebula tried explaining herself, but she couldn’t find the words.
Nova sat down at the med table. She didn’t fully understand what had just happened. This wasn’t the first time she fell and hurt her knees. She knew it was nothing a simple first aid with band aid couldn’t fix. Sometimes, she cried about it, but it definitely wasn’t her mothers who would cry. So, this was all new to her. And even though she didn’t understand why her mommy cried, it made Nova sad. “I’m okay, mommy.” She tried reassuring her mom, hoping that by knowing she is fine, Nebula would be less sad. “See?” she wriggled her legs back and forth. “Good as new.”
Peter gave Mantis a look and his sister immediately knew what it meant. “Hey Nova, how about we play outside?”
“How about later, Aunt Mantis? Mom and dad are here. I want to stay here.”
“We’ll be with you shortly, Nova, okay?” Peter gave Nova a reassuring smile.
Nova narrowed her eyebrows and pouted her lips at Peter.
“Come on, kid” Rocket interjected. “Let’s give your mom and dad some space for a while, shall we?”
Nova rolled her eyes, but she faced Nebula and her expression changed. “Are you okay, mommy? I’m sorry for making you worry.”
It took a moment for Nova’s words to register in Nebula’s mind, but when it did, she gave her daughter a hug. “No, I’m fine. I should be the one saying sorry for making you worry.” Nebula locked eyes with her daughter, then smiled. “I’m fine, okay? Now go spend some time with your Aunt Mantis, I’m pretty sure she has some tricks to show you.”
This seemed to satisfy the child as she finally got up. “Okie!” She faced Mantis. “Race you to the exit.” Nova said before running away.
Shocked by the challenge, Mantis ran after. “The exit’s to your left! You’re so gonna lose, Nova!” They heard her shout.
Rocket shared a look with Nebula before leaving the room. Soon after, everyone else followed, and it was just Peter and Nebula in the med bay.
Peter and Nebula locked eyes. Nebula had calmed down already, but Peter was still worried.
“The only times I was wounded as a child were when Gamora and I were forced to battle one another.” Nebula admitted, looking away from Peter as soon as she did. “It didn’t matter if it was a stab in the stomach or a small scrape on the elbow. It only meant one thing. I lost and another part of me would be metal.”
The subconscious rub on her arm made Peter’s heart break even more. He knew Nebula wouldn’t react the way that she did for no reason. But fuck the reason. God, Peter wanted to bring Thanos back to life just so he could kill him. That bastard deserved to suffer.
“I’m sorry… I know I overreacted. I wasn’t thinking… I just… I saw… and I got scared... and I panicked… I didn’t know what I was doing…”
“There’s no reason for you to be sorry, Nebula…” Peter didn’t know what else to say but the truth. He pulled Nebula into a hug which the Luphomoid returned without hesitation, much to Peter’s surprise. “Do you want to time travel so we could kill Thanos again? I’m pretty sure if I beg hard enough Scott would give us some of those Pym Particles. Or you can just scare him.” Still in each other’s embrace, Peter joked. Doing what he did best to comfort her. A chuckle from Nebula was all he got. But that was all he ever needed to know, it worked, anyway.
“Too much of a risk.” Nebula replied, still with a smile on her face. “We have more to lose now.”
It was meant to be a passing comment, but when silence fell after Nebula said those words, they realized how new and shocked they both really were about the fact that they do have more to lose now. Both of them.
“You’re right. Thanos is a waste of Pym Particles. If I’m going to time travel, might as well go to the time where we’re making Nova.”
That joke made Nebula realize they were still hugging, so she broke free of it before her body involuntarily reacted to their prolonged physical connection. “Thank you, Peter. I feel better now. You really are a good friend.” Boundaries. “If you need someone to talk to, don’t hesitate to approach me.” Nebula cleared her throat. What happened to boundaries? “I think we should head back.” She said, almost in a hurry to leave.
Peter cleared his throat too. He didn’t really realize how long they had been in each other’s arms already. “Yeah, we should.”
After all that had happened, Nebula already forgot she was supposed to go to the market.
~
“I want a party!” Mantis declared.
It was already dinner time, everyone enjoying their newly delivered pizzas. They were all around the dining table when Mantis stood up and made an announcement. “I’m going to throw a party, celebrating my being an aunt.” Mantis continued.
“What?” Peter questioned. Unsure if what he was hearing was correct.
“What? Don’t you just celebrate everything here on Earth? Birthday, Christmas, Valentine’s Day whatever that is.”
“Yeah, but those are historical events, or you know milestones of someone’s life. Birthdays, graduations, weddings, baby showers.”
“If there’s a celebration for a baby taking a shower, then there better be one for being an aunt.” Drax commented. Giving Mantis a thumbs up as if saying ‘I got your back’.
“No, that’s not what that is.”
“Doesn’t matter. I say we celebrate me being an aunt. This is big for me. Do you know how hard it is to be an aunt? I have to have a sibling first! And that already is a lot of work! For a long time I never thought it was even possible!” Mantis stared at Peter. Giving him the talking-about-you look. “Are you not going to support me, Peter?”
“Of course, I will!” Peter was cornered. He knew better than to mess with his sister. “So, what do you have in mind?”
“We’ll throw a party in Knowhere celebrating me, the best aunt in the galaxy.”
“Knowhere? Why does it have to be in Knowhere? It’s only been a day! We can’t take Nova to space yet. Why can’t you just have your party here?”
“Why not? Let’s go to space!” Nova cheered as she took a bite of her large slice of pizza. Pepperoni falling on the table as she did so.
“See, she wants to! And why would I want to have my party here? Just us? No, I want it in Knowhere with everyone celebrating me!” Mantis insisted.
“We can’t leave just yet. I’m still waiting for Alex.” Peter countered.
“Oh, come on, like we don’t have satellites on Knowhere. She’ll call you when she needs you or when she wants to talk to you.”
Peter grunted, “How about Nebula? She has a coffee date in two days.”
“We can throw the party tomorrow. And then go back after. Just in time for Nebula’s date with Rhodey.”
“It’s not a date.” Nebula finally joined in the conversation. But only to clarify. She couldn’t care less about where they were, as long as she was with Nova. And Rhodey would understand.
“Yeah, I also have to go back to Knowhere to check on the kids.” Drax said as he swallowed a slice of pizza in one go.
“We’re not kids anymore, Drax.” Phylla complained. Rolling her eyes, like any teenager annoyed with their father.
“You’ll always be kids to me.”
“Ugh” Phylla only rolled her eyes again.
“Well, now that we’ve found and settled things with Nova, I think we’re good to go back now, if that’s okay with you, Nebs?” Rocket was of course going to ask Nebula first. He wanted to be sure Nebula would be okay handling Nova and Peter without them.
“Yeah, it’s fine. We also can’t leave Kraglin in charge of Knowhere for too long. Cover for me while I’m away?”
“No problem.”
“FIIIIINE. We’ll go to Knowhere tomorrow.” Peter finally gave up. Like he could win one-against-all anyway. “But me, Nebula, and Nova go back here the day after, okay?”
“YAYYYY SPACEEE!!!” Nova threw her arms up in excitement. Forgetting the pizza she was holding. Now scattered at the other side of the room.
~
Peter and Nebula were both surprised when Nova asked them to read her a bedtime story. She said she was shy to ask them the first night, but she realized she could only miss one time before going crazy for not getting her bedtime story.
“How does this work? Do we read at the same time?” Nebula whispered to Peter. The three of them were now alone in the guest room. Nova just handed them a copy of Scott’s ‘Look Out For The Little Guy!’ and told them to start at page 70.
“I honestly don’t know. I’ve never done this before too.” Peter whispered back.
“Nope. Mommy’s with me on the bed. You read for us, daddy.” Nova giggled and gestured for Nebula to join her on the bed. Nebula couldn’t help but laugh as she complied.
“What? How come I’m not the one who gets cuddle time?”
“Cuz I’m a mommy’s girl.”
“After growing up with two moms, I thought you’d be more excited to be with your dad.”
“Hehe. Sorry, still a mommy’s girl.” Nova was all smiles. Even after she saw her mom lie down sideways next to her like a stiff log. She took Nebula’s left arm and wrapped it around her. “This is how you cuddle, mommy.” She instructed as she scooted closer to Nebula. Giggling more when she felt her mom get less tense around her, even hugging her tighter.
“Uh, thank you.” Nebula couldn’t help but blush at the embarrassment of having her own daughter tell her what to do.
“I wanna be a part of that!” Peter took out his sad puppy eyes as he fake complained. He knew he’s stuck with reading duty. He couldn’t hold it for long though. He smiled from ear to ear after only a split second. There was something that gave Peter pride being the only person who could see what’s in front of him right now. The sight of Nebula and Nova, all happy and sweet together, mother and daughter, warmed Peter’s heart more than he was willing to admit. Though not the conventional kind–oh, very much far from normal– this sight in front of him, was his family. He still couldn’t believe it sometimes. Not only did he have a child with one of his best friends, of all the people he met in his many years in space, it was with Nebula, the once sadistic villain who’d tried killing them multiple times.
Peter proceeded into reading the book, being as dramatic with the voices as he could. Nova’s nonstop laughs only encouraged him. After reading about 12 pages though, Nova instructed him to stop.
“That’s enough daddy. I’m already sleepy.” She said in between yawns. Peter closed the book. And stood up. Nebula followed and sat down on the bed, only for Nova to pull her back in. She looked at Peter and patted the space next to her on the other side of the bed.
Peter then willingly jumped and lay down next to his daughter.
Nova gave each of her parents a tight hug before lying down on her back and staring at the ceiling. “I love you both.” She said, smiling.
It was so innocent, so simple, but those words left the two heroes speechless. Both feeling like those words were something they didn’t deserve, yet they received it. Both tried stopping the tears that wanted to break free from their eyes. None of them wanted to be the first one to start crying, causing them to both sound like they were swallowing their own puke when they both said, “We-love you-too, Nova.”
Nova just playfully nodded. But after a while, after a thought crossed her mind, the expression on her face changed, and her next words broke her parents’ hearts. “Did you really not know about me...” she said, the sadness and uncertainty evident in her voice.
Peter and Nebula shared a look, not one of them knowing what to say next. This was what they feared the most. Nova had been so generous to them. Just flying with a bunch of strangers. Calling them mom and dad. Just loving them unconditionally like they’d always been her parents when in reality, 6 years. 6 years of her life, she had no idea why she had no mom and dad. Unknowingly or not, they abandoned her. They continued their lives and pretended like that one year never happened while their daughter had to grow up asking why her skin, her eyes looked different from the people who raised her. Were they really not at fault for what happened?
After a long silence, Nebula just grabbed Nova and pulled her into a tight hug. The child almost suffocated because of it. “We really didn’t know… I know sorry isn’t enough…”
“Mom. Mom.” Nova called out as she was running out of breath. “Mom. I can’t breathe.”
“Oh god, I’m so sorry.” Nebula panicked as she released her daughter from her hug.
“It’s fine, mom. I love you too.” Nova could only smile. “And no need to be sorry. I’m not blaming anyone. I guess I just want to hear it from you… But really, I’m just glad to know you actually wanted me.” She playfully bobbed her head. Too young to understand the gravity of her own statements. The room was silent except for Nova’s cheerful humming. “Oh, it’s my 6th birthday next month!” she shouted in excitement.
Nebula was dumbfounded by how fast the subject changed. Though as far as she remembered from what she saw in Nova’s file, “Your birthday was 2 weeks ago. At least, according to the file we found.”
“What, really? 2 weeks ago? I dunno. I celebrate the day I was adopted as my birthday.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, mother and mama are throwing me a party! Be there, okay? I know you only have me for this month, but it’s a party, and I’m inviting you. So be there, okay?”
“Of course, we’ll be there.”
“Yaaaayyy!!!”
Nebula shot Peter a concerned look. It was unusual for him to be this quiet. To say nothing. Usually, he’s the one in conversation with Nova. Peter only gave her a wide smile, but Nebula knew better. She knew how fake that smile was.
“There’s nothing wrong with having 2 birthdays. What do you want for your birthday?” Finally, Peter spoke, his tone cheerful.
“Anything. I can get you anything.” Nebula with her robotic voice quickly added.
Peter followed. “Yep. Just say it and you’ll have it.” They missed 6 birthdays. If Nova asked for a planet, they’d give it to her.
“Really???” The child lit up and started clapping her hands in elation.
“Yeah! Anything!”
“I want a sibling!”
Peter and Nebula’s eyes widened. Peter, almost choking with his own saliva. They definitely didn’t see that coming.
“Correction. Anything but that.” Peter said as he made eye contact with Nebula who quickly avoided his gaze.
“Hmph. But that’s what I want.” Nova crossed her arms. “Hmmm…” She thought out loud what was the next gift she wanted. “Okay. I want an arm like mom’s.” She raised one arm into an Iron Man pose. “Pshing pshing” was her best attempt to making a shooting sound.
“No.” Nebula’s answer came so fast and firm that the little girl immediately lowered her arm in shock.
“Wow you really have a talent for asking for impossible gifts.” Peter tried lightening the mood.
“I wonder who she got that from.”
“What? Why are you looking at me?” Peter chuckled.
Nebula could only roll her eyes.
“Hmph. You tell me to ask for anything but then I can’t.” Nova crossed her arms again. “Just being there is the best gift.” She said sincerely as she yawned.
“You better sleep now. You need the energy for tomorrow.” Nebula said as she sat down and got up from the bed. Peter did the same. “Your dad and I will just come up with a gift if you don’t come up with a request in a month.”
“You don’t have to. Really.” The little girl yawned again. “Goodnight kisses?”
Nebula froze for a second before leaning down and giving Nova a kiss on the forehead. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, mommy.”
Peter gave Nova a kiss on the forehead too. “Goodnight, sweetie.”
“Goodnight, daddy.”
~
The moment Peter closed the guest room door, Nebula locked her eyes on him. “Are you okay? You were unusually quiet there for a while.”
Peter let out a deep breath before replying, “Can I take you up on that offer? There’s just so many things in my head that I think only you could understand. Can I talk to you about them?”
“Of course.” Of course, Nebula would always be there when Peter needed her.
The only other private place in Peter’s grandpa’s house where they wouldn’t be disturbed was Peter’s bedroom, so that’s where they talked. They sat next to each other at one side of the bed.
“How do you feel? About all this?” Peter started. His voice was low, quiet, unsure of his own question.
Nebula let out a sharp breath, “Overwhelmed. To say the least.”
Peter chuckled at Nebula’s answer. “Same.” He looked down. “I love Nova. So much. But I couldn’t help but wish for things to happen differently.” Peter faced her. Not bothering to stop the tears slowly making their way down his face. “But if it did, maybe we wouldn’t even have her. But I just… I missed so much.”
“Peter…” Nebula herself felt her eyes getting watery.
“Nebula, when Nova asked us if we really didn’t know her… I lost it… I couldn’t take it anymore. I hated myself. I was angry. I should have been there.”
Nebula didn’t know what to reply but she knew the best response for now was to listen. Peter had been putting up a brave face all this time. She loved him for being there for her, but she hated him for not letting her be there for him until now.
“I would do anything to get those memories back, Nebula. No matter how much of my actions wasn’t me. I’d do anything just to have it back. I know I sound crazy… but I want it back. They took everything from me. They took my baby from me.”
“You don’t sound crazy at all. The moment I saw Nova, I regretted destroying that CD. I wish I had more too…”
Peter took one of Nebula’s hands. “You know, before I slept last night, I wondered, was I shocked to find out you’re pregnant, or was I just calmly happy because we’ve been planning it anyway. Did I throw you a surprise baby shower? Because I’ve always imagined doing that for my wife when the time came. And fuck it, the time came, and I couldn’t remember any of it. I want to know her first words. I want to see her first laugh. Her first cry. I want to feel her first kick in your belly. I want to experience it all, but they took it all away from me. And I know she’s out there now. All grown up and lovely, but can we just turn back time and put her back in your belly and live it all over again?” Peter started laughing and crying at the same time. He fell from the side of the bed, knelt on the floor, covered his face with his hands, and just cried. Nebula, who was still sitting on the bed, tried getting him to get up, but he refused to. He just knelt there, turned to face her, and cried.
“Peter…”
“Hey baby Nova.” Peter, smiling in his cries, started talking to Nebula’s stomach. “I’m sorry daddy wasn’t there, okay? I’m sorry I didn’t drive you on your first day of school. I’m sorry I didn’t get you your first headphones. I’m sorry I didn’t teach you to play catch. Your king mother probably got to do all that already. I’m so sorry baby.” He grabbed Nebula’s waist with his two hands. “I’m sorry I missed it all. If it were up to me, your mom would have the best pregnancy experience in the whole galaxy. I would pamper the two of you all day, every day. Did you give your mom a hard time while you were in there?” Peter started crying-laughing again. “I don’t know! Nebula, I don’t know!” Peter looked up at Nebula. “I should know. I should know our baby.”
Nebula herself was crying too. She had never seen Peter like this, and it broke her heart.
None of them imagined things to happen this way. And like Peter, she had regrets. She also wished things would have happened differently. But she never really imagined herself as a mother before. So, she never had any wants or expectations. Nova’s existence was an unexpected gift. But to Peter, this was his dream. Even before that wretched year, he already wanted to be a father. And they took that from him. Not only did he lose his daughter, but he also lost his dream, a part of his life he’d been wanting for so long. And he could never have those moments back again.
Nebula wiped Peter’s face with both her hands. He’s drenched in tears. The next thing she knew, Peter was standing in front of her, leaning down, his lips on hers. Then it wasn’t just their lips touching. Their tongues started fondling as well. Nebula’s heart was racing. But so was Peter’s. She knew because she could hear their hearts beating so loudly. Nebula was aware of what was happening while it was happening, but she couldn’t stop herself. She didn’t want to. She let Peter devour her as much as he wanted.
Nebula grew weaker and weaker with Peter’s touch. Nebula then found her back flat on the bed with her feet was still touching the floor. But not for long. Peter lifted her legs and wrapped it around his waist. Then his lips started moving down and found their way to her neck just below her ear. This caused her to moan and arch her back in between already heavy breaths. But when she did, her body touched Peter’s groin.
The hot feeling of her body touching his erection made Peter groan. And Nebula took this as an opportunity to unbutton and unzip his pants. Peter took a moment to look at Nebula’s beautiful face, and in the heat of it all, he said, “I love you, Nebula.”
This caused Nebula to come back to her senses and stop whatever she was doing. She pushed Peter off her and stood up. The thing was, she knew Peter would never love her. And she knew he loved Alex. Alex.
What were they doing? Alex was out there trying to decide if she could bend her entire life to accommodate Peter’s surprise daughter, then there they were, cheating on her. Any other way of putting it was just lying.
“No, you don’t. Peter, you’re only doing this because of your frustration. Knowing you’ve done this before but couldn’t remember it. You wanted to get some semblance of the past you missed. But you shouldn’t. We shouldn’t. Peter, Nova doesn’t have to be your only child. You can still have all that you’ve dreamed of. With Alex. Your future wife.” Nebula closed her eyes and shook her head, disappointed with herself. “Let’s just pretend this never happened.” With that, Nebula stormed off. She’d just spend the night on the ship.
Peter didn’t get to say a single word. He thought he only said those four words in his mind. He didn’t intend for them to escape his lips.
~
The morning after, Peter and Nebula barely saw each other. Nebula stayed inside her kitchen and told everyone she was busy. Even on their way to Knowhere, the two parents barely said a word, and they left Cosmo and Mantis to keep Nova company as she marveled on her first trip to outer space.
KNOWHERE.
Then the time for the party came. All of Knowhere was having fun, especially Mantis. Everyone was congratulating her for being an aunt. There was even a huge banner saying, “Happy I’m-An-Aunt Day, Mantis!”
Peter, even though he was outside with the others, was only sitting in a corner. Nebula, on the other hand, stayed in her office. Using having work to do after being gone for a few days as an excuse to be alone, and not having to face Peter.
But that excuse wouldn’t work on Nova. Because she was in a movable planet that her mommy rules, and her mommy wasn’t even showing her around. “Mom! Why are you in the office while there’s a party? You’re being a bummer.” Nova stomped into Nebula’s office.
Nebula took a random piece of paper from her table and pretended to read it. “Sorry, Nova. Mommy has work to do.”
“Mommy?”
Hearing that voice almost gave Nebula a heart attack. She looked up from her pretend-reading and stared at the woman by her door. “Gamora,” Nebula swallowed, “What are you doing here?”
“I missed you too, Nebula. And why, I’m visiting my sister. Is that a crime? It really seems like I picked the perfect time though. Party with free drinks downstairs.”
Nova turned around to see the woman claiming to be her mommy's sister. “Another aunt?!”