Chapter four
In the early hours of the morning, Steve stumbled his way upstairs. Once he reached the outside of the room he tripped on the abandoned pillow in the hallway. Not realizing that Bucky kicked him out of the room, he tried the door handle.
“Shit” He whispered, shaking the doorknob. “Bucky open this fucking door!”
No response, he thought he was either sleeping or ignoring him. A 50/50 possibility.
“Fucking hell” Steve started mumbling curses under his breath while he patted himself down, looking for his keys in his pocket.
“Ha!” He raised the key in the air and kissed it
Grabbing his pillow off the floor, he burst into the room, ready for a fight.
A stream of light lay on Bucky’s body. He was tangled in the sheets, with a tear stained face. His breathing was heavy and sharp. Bucky was having another nightmare.
“Bucky! You fucking da-” He shouted as he burst through, he stopped as soon as he noticed his distressed state.
“Ha. Serves you right for being such a fucking drama queen!” He laughed watching him intensely, wondering what nightmare he was re living. “You stupid, stupid boy.” He muttered.
Bucky cried out suddenly and began mumbling half words, shaking his head from side to side.
His face turned sour and Steve rushed over to sooth him, but not before placing his pillow in it’s rightful place. Priorities.
“It’s okay Bucks, calm down, just calm down baby” He brushed his hair out of his face and looked over his red framed eyes, tears glistening in the dark and his mouth slightly parted to control his breathing. When Bucky had nightmares like this, he was completely shut off from the world. They were usually about his father’s death or flashes of his past. All very real and painful experiences.
“Why do you always do this huh? You make me so fucking angry sometimes, and then just as I start to enjoy your suffering, you make me wanna help you. Fucking hell man, why can’t you just let me hate you?”
Because Steve wasn’t used to looking after anyone but himself, he had no idea what to do but watch Bucky ride it out. “Shh” Steve settled beside him and roughly pulled him close, wrapping his arms around Bucky’s small waist, hoping to calm the erratic movements that usually occurred during his nightmares.
Steve stared into his face for as long as he could before alcohol and sleep consumed him, sending him into his own spiral of disturbed thoughts
Dawn came and sunlight streamed through the window, Bucky was facing away from Steve, the blonde was pressed against his back, his face buried into the crook of his neck.
“Urgh” Bucky groaned, rubbing his eyes, tasting the salty tears from last night on his lips. Steve protested when Bucky started to move away from his body. He would of usually welcomed his affection, but due to last nights events he didn’t want anything to do with him.
“Let go.” Bucky snapped, trying to pry Steve’s hands off his body
“No” Steve growled, still half asleep
“Let go! I don’t want to be around you.”
“I’m sorry.” He brought Bucky’s face around to meet his, “I’m sorry. It was a stupid joke, I was drunk”
“Bullshit, we can’t get drunk, you especially”
“Don’t start with me this morning, Bucky” Steve retorted snapping awake
“I’m not in the mood for you right now.” Bucky slipped beneath his grip, just as he was about to jump off the bed, Steve’s hand caught him in record time
“Shut up! Let me fucking apologize alright? I don’t do this very often nor will I. So sit the fuck down and listen.” A hard slap broke Steve’s train of thought
“No! You fucking listen, I’m sick of this, of you treating me like shit. I’m not a fucking whore that you can pimp out to whomever the fuck you feel like. I’m supposed to be your fucking boyfriend!”
“You are! God knows fucking why when you act like this! It was a joke. I’d never let anyone touch you, never in a million years. Trust me-”
“Don’t you dare say those words.” Bucky pushed his finger sharply into Steve’s chest. “You’ve broken my trust so many times, I’m not even sure you know what that word means! I wouldn’t trust you with a leaf, let alone my feelings! Which by the way, you seem to have no regard for!” Bucky took a deep breath and calmed. “We’re supposed to love eachother Steve. You’re supposed to love me.” Bucky pleaded. “If you did, drinking or not, you wouldn’t of betrayed me last night”
I wouldn’t have betrayed you
“I wasn’t thinking straight, how many times do I have to say I’m sorry?”
“But you’re not Steve, you never are” A stray tear slipped from Bucky’s eye. “I can’t keep doing this”
“What are you saying?” He grabbed Bucky’s arm and pulled him close
“I'm saying, Ugh, I don’t know” Bucky closed his eyes. “I don’t want to leave you Steve, despite everything I still love you. But I don’t know how much longer I can do this one sided relationship. I obviously don’t make you happy, otherwise you wouldn’t hit me or, or sell me off to other men.” Tears sprung in Bucky’s eyes
“I said I was fucking sorry! Stop being so dramatic, I told you I didn’t mean it!” Steve ran his tattooed hand through his blond hair. “You do make me happy, Bucks. You annoy the fuck outta me, but everything about you makes me happy. The way you tie the two colors in your hair up in different styles depending on your mood. The way you never fail to make an exceptional cupp’a coffee. The way you squeak when you yawn, the way you snort whenever your laugh. And especially the way you make me feel when you look at me with those huge blue eyes. You make me very happy sugar, and I don’t want to throw that all away because because of some stupid joke.” Turn on the charm Nomad…
Bucky was lost for words, he didn’t know whether to run away or run into his arms.
“Well say something!” He grumbled, rather annoyed that he just spilled his guts, to be greeted with silence. “I do not snort when I laugh!” Bucky argued, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Yeah you do, like a pig.” Steve chuckled, seeing the forgiveness in the brunette's eyes.
“Shut up, no I don’t”
“Do”
“Don’t”
“Do”
“DON- Ahh”
Steve tackled him to the bed and began tickling him in his most sensitive places. “Stop- Ahh It!” Bucky laughed, tears rolling down his face. “I can’t- Ahahaaa”
“C’mon piggy” He tickled Bucky harder. “Snort for daddy”
“Nooo, I don’t-” His hand shot to his mouth when he released a pig-like snort. Steve stopped attacking him and threw his head back in laughter.
Bucky’s face flushed red with embarrassment, before joining him with laughter. Steve looked down at him, he cupped Bucky’s face and pressed a scorching kiss on his lips, sending fire through every bone in his body.
“My little Miss piggy.” He whispers in the shell of his ear.
He was just about to pepper kisses on his skin when Bucky stopped him and brought Steve’s face in front of his. “Stop with the charm Kermit, I’m still angry with you. You’re not off the hook yet, You still have a lot of groveling to do Mistah”
“Yes sir!” He winked and gave Bucky a fake salute.
“I’m serious Steve, things have to change, otherwise this isn’t going to work.”
“Stop trying to find problems where there aren’t any. We work just fine. You carry on doing what you’re doing, and I’ll carry on doing what I’m doing” He shrugged
“That’s the problem, You’re out all day working and when you come home, you eat then go to bed or lock yourself in your office. I hardly see you anymore, and When I do we’re arguing.” Bucky sat up straight and blew hair out of his face. “You have no idea what it’s like for me. I’m locked up in this place all day, everyday. Doing housework waiting for you to come home and when you do , you fuck off upstairs, and it’s like you never even came home!” Bucky flinched waiting for his hand to strike him a blow
As if on queue his hand swung around and smacked him right in the mouth, forcing his body back down on the bed, Bucky wiped the blood off his busted lip.
“Don’t you fucking dare! I’ve sacrificed everything for you, I’ve let you into my life on long term basis, I work fucking hard to keep a roof over your head. All my money goes on you, to make you happy! So don’t you dare, fuckin’ complain about it ever! I’ve tried my utmost to make sure you’re safe and looked after, and this is the thanks I get? Huh?” Steve growled, pinning the smaller man down on the bed.
Bucky should have stopped then, not spoken another word, but how could he stay silent after that?
“Don’t talk to me about sacrifice! I left my respectable, well paid job for you. I lost my medical license FOR YOU! You have some fucking nerve making me out to be some gold digging whore, I love you no matter what! We could live in a fuckin’ shed and I’d still love you to death, because without you Steve, that’s how I feel. Dead.” Bucky wiped a tear from his eye.
Steve released his grip and sat away from him, watching him cry from afar.
He knew he’d fucked up big time, making it up to Bucky wasn’t going to be easy, for any normal guy, they’d beg for forgiveness and wait on him hand and foot. But this was the Nomad and his ways of showing affection weren’t exactly…Normal.
“Listen to me Cinderella, tonight we will go out, paint the town red..So to speak, It will just be like old times” Steve moved close to him and held his face in his hands, brushing his thumb over his broken lip. “Get dressed real fancy. It will just be you and me. How does that sound?”
Bucky closed his eyes in defeat, how could he refuse?
“On one condition.” He asked, well, more demanded.
“What?”
“Can my psycho Daddy get me a new outfit? Who knows I might even wear a dress” Bucky teased, fluttering his lashes
“You little minx” Steve laughed, pressing his lips to Bucky’s, lapping at the blood that had filtered into his mouth. His tongue danced with Bucky’s , releasing all the pent up anger and love that they were both expressing.
Steve kissed him so deeply he felt like he was suffocating, he had to literally pull him away, to catch his breath.
Bucky smiled when he felt that Steve was rock hard against his thigh.
Bucky 1 - Steve 0
Steve saw that glint in his eye that drove him wild, Steve ripped the shirt off Bucky’s body, nipping and sucking at his soft smooth skin.
“Mmhm Daddy? I thought I was suspended?” He teased, gripping his arm. “You’re on parole.” He snapped, returning his lips to Bucky’s neck, leaving hickies on his neck slowly whilst his hands traveled towards Bucky’s briefs slipping his hand underneath them.
“I wouldn’t want to compromise your rules Steve, I- Fuck” Bucky moaned throwing his head back when felt Steve’s fingers tease at his hole.
“Goddamn it Bucky, will you shut up. I’ve waited days to do this and you’re ruining it” He growled, leaning over to grab the lube off the nightstand
“And who’s fault is tha-Daddy!” Steve slipped his fingers inside Bucky, hard and fast trying to shut him the hell up.
Guilt rushed through him, these past few days he thought that Steve wasn’t interested in him anymore, that he’d gotten bored. Bucky had fucked up big time, kissing Walker was a big mistake, he’d betrayed the love of his life. If it got out, he didn’t know what Steve’d do. All he did know was that he wouldn’t live to tell the tale.
“Steve, I love you, you know that right?”
“Uh huh.” Steve grabbed his boxers in one movement and ripped them off. He quickly pulled his cock out of his own briefs and settled between his legs. “Be good for daddy and stop talking” Steve demanded.
Bucky obeyed and wrapped his legs tightly around Steve, pulling him closer. Steve lubed up his cock, positioning himself at Bucky’s entrance and looked over his body before thrusting into him harshly, groaning.
“Ahh Fuucck.” Bucky pinched his eyes shut, feeling him fuck into his body relentlessly. Going harder and deeper each time.
Steve wrapped his hand around Bucky’s throat. “Look at me Bucky.” Steve ordered, watching his eyes slowly open. “This is mine.” He thrust. “You are mine. No one else's. Understand?”
Shit he knows?
“Yes Daddy-ahh” Bucky winced when he felt a cold object press against his body, followed by warm blood coming from his broken skin knitting itself back together within moments. Bucky raised his head slightly to see where it was coming from. It was his left thigh, Steve was holding his Ivory knife, digging the blade into his perfect unmarked skin.
Where in the fuck did he get that?!
Bucky, in that moment he thought Steve was gonna kill him, he thought he knew about his betrayal, this was the beginning of the end, Bucky was sure. That’s what guilt does to you, it eats away at your mind twisting and turning innocent events into something more.
“Please don’t kill me. I’m sorry.” Bucky whimpered, whilst he was still fucking him into next week.
He stopped suddenly and withdrew the blade. “What?”
“Please I love you.” Tears blurred his vision, the only thing he could make out was his face aligning with his, taking his face in his bloody hands.
“Kill you? I’m not going to kill you? What the hell are you talking about?” Steve asked, completely and genuinely confused.
“The knife, I thought” Steve stroked his thumb over Bucky’s bottom lip.
“Why would I kill you Bucky? You know I always use a knife during sex, It’s never been an issue before.” He grabbed the brunette’s chin. “What’s going on, you’re not acting like my little Bucky bear.”
Bucky mentally smacked himself. You fucking idiot.
“Nothing, I'm fine. Sorry.” Bucky placed his hands on his face.
“You are not fine. Bucky tell me what’s going on.” Steve grabbed his wrists and pinned them forcefully above his head.
“I swear I’m fine. Just forget it, please?” He asked, hoping not to ruin the moment.
He gave him a harsh look and slowly released his wrists, Bucky wasn’t going to tell him. He knew that, but he’d get it out of him eventually. His lips returned to his, kissing him harder than before, letting him know he was angry, that this conversation wasn’t over, just on pause.
Bucky moaned against him bucking his up into Steve’s trying to create movement.
He laughed at his desperation, he was definitely hiding something, using his body to take his mind off the issue. Steve decided to humor him and began moving inside Bucky, slowly and gently.
“Please Daddy harder!” Bucky begged
He ignored his attempts of faster movement and continued to move painfully slow, watching the brunette squirm in frustration. Bucky growled and quickly rolled them over, taking the blond by complete surprise, he now straddled him, sitting upright on his cock.
Steve sirked, allowing Bucky to take control, just to see what he’d do. He ran his tattooed hands up the sides of the smaller’s body grabbing his hips, kneading them in his hands. Bucky threw his head back and moaned, he started to move up and down on him, picking up the pace with each push.
Bucky placed his mix matched hands on Steve’s hard chest for support, his nails biting into his skin drawing blood. Bucky could no longer feel the pain from the knife mark in his thigh, the pace he was going at numbed it.
Bucky’s pace was borderline bed breaking, but he was coming to the edge and there was no way he was going to stop now.
“Fuck Bucky!” Steve groaned, rolling his eyes to the back of his head while the brunette rode him, feeling him clench down around him. He was damn good on top but Steve’d never tell him that, he’d get a big head and not try as hard.
Steve spilled into Bucky, filling him up. Bucky continued to bounce , his own cum spilling between them soon after.
Bucky collapsed on his body, resting his forehead on his. Bucky smiled and looked up at him, Steve was still trying to catch his breath.
“You liked that, huh Daddy?” Bucky giggled
“Fuck yeah” Steve gave him a broad smile and pulled him into his embrace. “Bucky?”
“Yeah puddin?” He ran his nails over Steve’s ‘HAHA’ tattoos
“I’m hungry” He whined, trying his luck.
“Well you know where the kitchen is don’t you?” Bucky scoffed. There was no way he was letting the blond slip back into his bad habits.
Steve rolled his eyes. Patience.
Bucky looked up at him to see his face pouting, His eyes begging him for a cup of coffee.
“Fine.” He caved. “You want your daily caffeine fix don’t you?”
“You know me so well.” A grin pulled onto his face, flashing his pearly whites.
“Too well..” He replied, climbing off him, pulling on Steve’s shirt leaning down to give him a kiss on the cheek and in turn he got a hard slap on his ass.
“What the hell was that for?” Bucky laughed rubbing his behind
“Returning the kiss to your cheek”
Bucky playfully rolled his eyes , smiling. “You’re a funny man Mistah Nomad.”
“Yes I am, Now coffee, and quick. I’m dying over here.” He dramatically faked death.
“Steve” Bucky warned, resting his hands on his hips
“Please?” Steve fluttered his eyes, coaxing a smile from him.
Bucky left the room, shutting the door gently behind him, once he got to the kitchen he clicked on the one cup waiting for it to warm up. Bucky hummed a Brittney song to himself dancing around, that was until someone came up behind him, he whipped his head around to see Walker standing in the doorway.
“Shit” Bucky mumbled.