As a child, Hiro Hamada would begin sobbing uncontrollably for no apparent reason at any given time.
Aunt Cass, having just lost her sister and brother-in-law, thrust into the world of parenting without any idea about how to do what she was doing. Having to parent grieving children, one of which who was too young to properly understand and process what happened? Hiromi had just known her parents were there one day, and the next, they were gone.
Just like that. Poof.
Of course, Cass also thought she was raising a slightly mature seven-year-old, and a babbling toddler girl.
Hiromi, at the age of 7, had begun realizing she was.. Different.
She would tolerate dresses on occasion. Hated the idea of makeup, would start bawling if Aunt Cass ever tried to apply any on her. Despised the color pink.
There was also her intense staring at boys her age, a million thoughts running through her head.
Why don’t I look like that? What’s wrong with me? Why do I feel this way? Why do I feel this way? WHY DO I FEEL THIS WAY?
Other girls her age might’ve been having crushes, maybe even boyfriends, staring at boys because of how cute they thought they were.
Not Hiromi.
Instead, Hiromi spent her time crying at night wondering why she felt so wrong, knowing Tadashi probably heard her but had no clue how to navigate it.
When Hiromi had first heard of the word transgender, she had been ten. Her best friend was talking- a short, long-haired blonde boy. He was the only one who didn’t make her feel absolutely disgusting.
He was talking about sister, although Hiromi could’ve sworn he had a brother and only a brother- right?
So she asked.
“Alex, don’t you only have an older brother?”
“Oh! I never told you! Hiromi, Micheal had a big conversation with my parents and I,” Alex stressed the word big. “He said that sometimes, people can be born in the wrong body. What he looked like didn’t match how he felt. He’s something called trans… trans… transgender! So Yeah. I’ve got a big sister now. She likes me calling her a girl and using the name Michelle, not Micheal.”
Hiromi nodded, intrigued. Little did Alex know this short conversation caused a whole world of turmoil for her.
Endless googling late at night, oh so careful to be sure Tadashi wouldn’t catch her in the act; she couldn’t let him in on this, not yet. Not when she was so unsure of her own feelings, although things finally seemed to be falling into place as what little information she could find described her accurately.
Discomfort in her body, and with the words “She” or “girl.” Trying to break out of feminine molds.
Aunt Cass had caught her with far too many sports bras piled onto her small frame to attempt to flatten out her chest too many times to count.
Those incidents had caused a stern scolding about how those actions could severely harm her ribs.
Hiromi only ever listened to that for about a week before attempting it again.
It had gotten to a point where Tadashi, being the one out of the two she was more likely to listen to, had stern talks with her about how she needed to stop doing that. He couldn’t pinpoint the cause no matter how hard he tried. If he asked for a reason, Hiromi would just shrug.
She wished she could shrug off this feeling.
It took about a year for Hiromi to really understand that she felt like a boy. Not a girl, like she had always been told. Things began to make a lot more sense from that revelation.
(“Alex, how did Michelle… know she was a girl, not a boy?”)
(“Well, she said that she had always felt.. Wrong, in some way, I guess. Being a girl is more comfortable. She feels more true to herself. I dunno, that’s what she told me.” Alex shrugged, kicking his feet harshly to gain momentum on the swings. “Why do you ask, Hiromi?”)
(“I don’t think I like being Hiromi.” She admitted, only in a whisper.)
(“Do you wanna be…” Alex paused, slowing his swing. Hiromi was barely moving on her own. “A boy?”)
(Hiromi nodded slowly, hesitantly. “I… I think so.” She exhaled a shuddering breath.)
Alex was safe. He knew Alex, with his older sister, would be more than accommodating to his confession.
Alex was the first one to suggest Hiro as a name. He gave the young boy clothes, was the only one to call him things that felt right, and provided so much Hiro wouldn’t have been able to get without him.
Hiro built, slowly, to tell Tadashi. That seemed like the scariest thing, alongside aunt Cass. He wanted to- he really did! But he was this gangly long-haired feminine child who felt so lost in their own body for so, so long.
He tried to drop hints.
“Tadashi!” The young kid would shout, sprinting towards their elder brother. Others peered at Hiro curiously.
“Ah, Hiromi,” The other chuckled, wrapping an arm around his sister. “What made you so happy?”
“Alex finally let me meet his sister! Well not let- she was finally able to come pick him up! And I got to meet her! She’s so cool Tadashi!” Hiromi gushed, tugging on Tadashi’s palm as she maneuvered towards the cafe.
“Awesome, Hiromi. You need to branch out and make some more friends.” Tadashi spoke, tone light and teasing; although he was serious on some level.
Hiromi really lacked friends, it was a tad bit concerning.
“I have friends! Alex is just my best friend. Did you know he used to have a brother?” Tadashi’s eyes widened at those words. “He would always talk about his big brother, then he started talking about some sister named Michelle. And I was like woah– wait. What happened to Micheal??” Hiromi used a large gesture with her hands.
“And Alex explained that Micheal had sat Alex and his parents down for a big talk. Micheal basically said he was a girl, taking all the details out of it. And It would make her real happy if Alex called her Michelle, so that’s what he did!” Tadashi smiled lightly. And, before Hiromi could knock any sense into herself, she blurted.
“I feel like that too.”
Tadashi stopped walking.
“You… feel like you want to be a boy?” Hiromi nodded slowly.
Tadashi bent down, hugging Hiro.
“Thank you for telling me, knucklehead.”