crybaby
Peni couldn't locate when it all went wrong. When she lost everything she cared about.
Your father had just died, the cause currently unknown but commonly thought to be an experiment gone wrong. Peni couldn't help but try to comfort you during those times, even if it took years for you to accept he was gone. It got even worse when her father died, too. Now both of you would be sat on your bed, crying your eyes out until your noses ached and your eyes were red. It took Peni everything to not tell you she was now the sole pilot of SP//der when she saw you look at her with teary eyes, curly hair damp from the tears as it laid against your cheek.
Now, she lived with her Aunt May. It was obvious to her just how much you liked her, stopping by whenever you could just to say hi and spend time with Peni. She really appreciated seeing you, even if it was for a few seconds.
Even now, she remembers you fondly, twisting the bracelet you gave her on her thirteenth birthday with a dainty smile. "I don't know what you're going through, but I'll be there for you, always." It made her feel warm, so warm. "I-..thank you, it. It means a lot to me." Peni couldn't help but feel herself turn pink as she remembered that day, remembered just how soft and how caring you'd been for her dilemma despite having your own problems. It made her wish that she realized she loved you sooner.
"For me, it was my dad." Peni confesses, covering her bracelet with her hand as she looks down. The mere mention of him brings her back to you, and the rest of the Spiders nod in agreement. She finds herself going silent as she thinks.
She underestimated just how worried you'd be. "Peni! Where have you been? I was asking all around for you." You tell her, holding her hands in yours, and she smiles with glee. "I'm okay, see? I just..had a lot going on." She sighs out, trying to keep her grin as she looks at you, trying to hide the guilt in her eyes as she does. "Good, uh..good. I dunno what I'd do without my best friend." Peni ignores the way her heart pangs as you call her that, only looking on with a vacant look as you sniffle and tug her along.
High school ruined Peni. She had to practically devote herself to her SP//der with how much she was needed now. She even had to build a new mecha from what she could after her last one got destroyed, and she nearly cried as she noticed just how much she was neglecting her relationships. "Peni, honey. [Y/N]'s here." "I'm busy, auntie." She'd always say, having to focus on what could make her mecha better, make her mecha stronger, and make her mecha more resilient. Peni could feel the dark circles around her eyes as she blinked, watching her progress with a critical eye. Everything had to be perfect, there couldn't be any exceptions.
"Yeah, I'm trying to get a scholarship this year!" "Cool." She mumbled, focusing on her computer rather than your words. It was obvious her bond with you had thinned during your time in high school, and it hurt. "Hopefully a good college'll pick me up. I don't want to waste anything, you know?" "Uh-huh." "I mean, I'm kinda just relying on my grades and skills at this point, so." "Okay." "Peni, are you listening?" "Cool." Peni mumbled again, raising a sluggish hand to her face to rub her eye. She doesn't notice when you leave, nor does she notice when you look at her, obviously worried. It's only hours later that she looks up, seeing her aunt standing in the doorway. "[Y/N] left a bit ago, hun."
"Peni, just tell me what's going on!" "I'm a pilot of SP//der, okay?! I-I.." Peni's head aches as she thinks about what lead to her blurting out that she was the only thing protecting this universe. You only watch her, looking at her with disbelief before going to give her a hug. "No!" She immediately reacts, retreating away and falling onto her bed with a broken sob. "Please, I just want my best fri-" "We're not friends!" Peni practically screams, and she hides her face away from you with one of her many pillows, only removing it once she hears her bed squeak. "Then what are we?" Peni can't find it in herself to say anything else, holding her knees close to her and covering her ears, trying to soothe herself. You make no movement, eventually getting up once her Aunt May steps into the room. She looks at the two of you, concerned, before you rush off.
"Peni, please, just listen to me!" "No! Leave me alone, [Y/N]!" Yet again, you're trying to smooth things over with Peni and rekindle the close friendship you both had despite the argument from a few days ago. Peni forces herself to not even look at you, wiping tears with her sweater as she looks at her mecha. "Peni, please. We can just find someone else to control SP//der a-" "No! Don't you get it? I can't..I won't let anyone else die." "Peni, you know how dangerous it is. I just can't sit by and let you hide everything away from me! I'm worried about you, you're still my friend!" Her heart cries at those words and she, for the first time in this conversation, turns to look at you. You go silent as you look at her eyes. "Don't you see?! I have enough on my plate and I don't need you breathing down my neck every minute of the day! I can't let innocent people die because I didn't want to control SP//der, and no one else should be burdened with it!" She yells, her voice cracking as she does, tears now leaking down her face as she slumps back down to finish her mecha. "..Now leave me alone, please."
It all happened so fast. She didn't even have enough time to process that her friend, Addy Brock and her Aunt May were both killed in the VENOM mecha. Peni didn't even realize what was happening even if it was in front of her. Her arms shook and her throat burned as she watched them die.
Peni couldn't help but cry outside your door. By the time you opened the door, the poor girl was a mess. Her mecha was long abandoned, sitting right next to your home as she sat, on her knees. Peni felt so lost, so crushed, and so hurt, that she couldn't even process words. By the time Peni realized she was in your arms, she could only hiccup out small words.
"The..they're dead because of me! I k..I-I killed them, it's all my fault!" Peni cries in your arms. Her nails pressed deep into your clothes, small hiccups coming out of her as she shuddered. "I don't want to be next! I-I can't be next.." Her crying eventually turns into weak coughing, accompanied by small pats on her back. "Th..there's so much I haven't said, so much I haven't..haven't done and-" She feels herself shaking, biting her lip in consideration as she does. "And so many things I haven't told you."