Are you serious?
“Meow!” Peter yelped out his jaw straining as the word was forced out of him and that itchy feeling telling him that there is going to be more made him want to cry. May frowned wincing in sympathy.
“New one?” She asked slowly wiping away the spilt milk. Peter nodded slowly sighing and leaving his bowl alone. He couldn’t even eat his breakfast they were so bad this morning. He felt the comforting touch of Mays hands in his hair as she looked worriedly at her phone.
“I think we should talk to the doctor Pete they’re getting worse and they’re more painful” Peter instantly shook his head. He hated seeing those doctors. They were just unhelpful. They would sit there suggesting passively that he was faking it or that it was just a stim or something. They changed the diagnosis all the time making Peter feel as if he was faking and he was a fraud.
“M sorry may” he muttered leaning into her touch exhaustion pouring through him as well as guilt. May had already taken off so much time this week. He had skipped two days of school this week not wanting to have even more reasons why Flash should hit him.
“Oh baby don’t apologise none of this is your fault. Now get ready for school honey I’ll drive you”
Peter nodded pulling away from May feeling even worse
Taking time off mays work how could you?
He tried packing his bag but his arms kept twitching and it was this un-itchable itch that kept screaming in pain. He groaned sitting back down in his bed his eyes looking towards the medication he was given.
He hadn’t used any of them.
He was able to shove his shit in his bag and manage to brush his teeth and look at least a little presentable.
“Hey, sweets let’s go” May cooed out when he left his room and the jangle of the keys and the slamming of the door made him wince and cringe physically.
It wasn’t much better in the car. He sat in the front probably not such a good idea.
“Uhm yeah, it’s before any of the hunger ga-OOHWHEE FUCK!” His fist slammed into the side of the door and tears of pain sparked in his eyes as his arm kept jerking and his mouth kept making squeaking sounds.
“Oh baby I’m so sorry today's bad,” May said trying to soothe him a little.
“Do you want to-“
“No May I’m going to school just-I’ll be fine I’ll-“ Peter gasped and he felt tears drip down his face. No not these tics he hated these the most (apparat from the breath-holding tics) gasping ones triggered panic attacks almost every single time and they just went and went and went and the more he thought about it the more they happened.
“It’s ok honey just breathe there not going to stop your lungs just breathe” he felt her warm comforting shoulder-rubbing and massaging and he let out a shaky sob trying to breathe in and out in and out. Slowly he calmed down.
“I-I’m good let-let’s just go to school” he grunted out and May didn’t argue.
Of course, peter was regretting it. He was in the second period and desperately trying to hold them in just making them worse. People were staring and he could feel the snickers and laughs and whispers.
“No! That’s not right! Who said they liked Gale?” Ned called out trying to distract Peter.
“Betty did! I swear man she did-hic! Hic!- she was like oh he’s hot so it doesn’t matter if he said those things about Peeta.” Peter swallowed his face twitching and the left side of his mouth pulling down every two seconds.
“That’s low! He’s not even hot come on he’s ugly as! Peeta’s hotter than him!” Ned laughed out maybe a bit to loudly getting raised eye brows from the teacher. He whispered out a sorry then gave Peter a look and they burst out laughing.
“Goodness wait till may hears this. She’s a peeta enthusiast and she liked Betty! Cunt cunt cunt” his lip got bitten down hard and he focused not to burst out but he could feel them itching under his skin. Flash gave him a look rolling his eyes in disgust. Peter swallowed trying to ignore the way his eyes looking over his body made a deep dark pitt settle in his stomach. He focused on his work trying not to get frustrated every time his right arm his writing arm would get flung into the air along with a squeak in his mouth.
Now it was lunch and Peter was not having a good time.
“I have to see mr stark like this!? He’s going to kick me out I can’t see him but I’ve cancelled the past 2 he’s going to come looking for me I know!” Ned gave Peter a look and Peter sighed knowing what Ned was going to say.
“Come on man what’s the worst that’s going to happen if you tell him? He’s not gonna kick you out seriously. He would’ve done that already. He likes you!”
Peter rolls his eyes doubt rolling through his mind.
“Yeah he likes the normal me, not the tics and twitching possed one” he grumbles out earning a slap from Ned.
“Don’t say that Peter! You’re not weird come on you know what’s weird? My brother you know he slept UPSIDE DOWN IN HIS BUNK BED LAST NIGHT?”
Peter lets a laugh out and like that, his worries are shoved away in the back of his mind.
The shrill bell rings signalling the end of the day and Peter wants to die. His anxiety has mounted his legs jittering up and down unable to stop and he just wants to go home and go to sleep. At least when he’s sleeping he won’t be ticcing.
He doesn’t want to call May since she’s already taken off so many days at work.
He sighs collecting his bag and wincing as the people around him rub against his body making his skin scream. Yeah as if having Tourette’s wasn’t enough he also has sensory processing shit and right now it’s screaming.
He gasps when he gets outside his chest feeling so much better. He slowly makes his way down the stairs eyes searching for the black car with Happy in it. When he spots it he climbs in muttering out a hello and then grabbing headphones trying to relax his body a bit almost everything just spiking and screaming.
“Roo?” Peter is snapped back to reality and he lets out a small gasp eyes snapping open to focus on the man in front of him. He walks out of the elevator and Tony follows after him.
“You ok buddy? Happy said you were a bite quiet and your zoning out”
Even Tony knows what a freak you are
“I-I’m fine mister stark just a little tired been sick so yeah” Peter stammered out nervously trying to ignore the way his hands shook and his mind felt distant and just blurry.
Tony’s eyebrow quirked up and so did the side of his face. “Mm ok” he muttered.
Peters's stomach sank and a torrent of thoughts just flew at him smacking him in the face.
He hates you! Hates hates hates hates! He knows about your tics and he’s going to laugh at you hee thinks you’re a joke you are a joke you should leave where no one wants you!
“Peter!” And suddenly Tony’s hand was on his shoulder and he smelt the man’s cologne strong making his nose twitch and the ever-growing headache even stronger. He twitched back flinching.
“Sorry, kid you zoned out again. Are you sure you are ok? I was tryna ask you about your suit”
Tony had worry coursing through his face and his hand was still sitting heavily on his shoulder. Peter smiled shrugging it off and nodding.
“I’m fine! What about the suit?”
And so they focused on the suit Tony noticing the way Peter kept twitching and the way his hand snaked over his mouth little bits of yipping sounds coming out muffled and strong. He ignored it writing it down as an ADHD thing or something else.
Peter on the other hand was freaking out he had that sick jittery feeling going throughout him and he felt itchy under his skin and his tics were getting more and more obvious.
The third time his arm jerked and he had to bite his mouth closed to not make that squeaking noise he hated. And again Tony’s eyebrow raised at him making his stomach jump and chest tighten even more. He flicked his eyes up noticing the way Tony has stopped to look at him longer and he quickly looked away wincing and trying not to cry.
He wanted to go home so bad.
“Are you ok?” Tony’s voice suddenly snapped Peter out of his spiral of thoughts and he looked up again trying not to shake.
He nodded slowly not saying anything in the fear that he would scream some embarrassing thing out loud. Tony was still staring at him with this unreadable look on his face.
“Ok we’ll um how about we like-“
Peter shook his head yipping out an answer without thinking.
“I-I’m gonna go home I think I’m tired and yeah” he dropped the wrench grabbed his bag and tried to find his phone.
Tony’s face had a flash of hurt spread through it for a split second. “Oh-um ok kiddo are you sure you’re ok? Did I do something or-“
“No-no it’s fine I’m just tired alright? Ok, I’m gonna go so bye I guess” he mumbles out and tony nodded once and Peter practically ran out of there.
The second he left Peter let out an exasperated gasp growling and scratching into his hand and swearing out loud at himself as he got into the lift the weird wheezy feeling of a panic attack creeping up on him and he tried to breathe but he kept being distracted by the screaming in his head.
Stupid stupid stupid stupid he fucking hates you freak! Stab yourself kill him maybe kill yourself you stupid fucking idiot. He’s never going to want you back. You ruin everything and kill everyone and get rid of everyone like uncle ben you killed him!
Peter gasped pushing himself out of the elevator grasping his phone and making his way out. And it was raining. Pouring loudly
Great just my fucking luck
His mind began to get fuzzy everything blurring and he tried to tap his phone but droplets of water were splattering all over the screen tapping random things peter tried wiping it away but couldn’t.
Damn maybe I’m going to faint
He slammed into the nearby building wall and gasped breathing heavily in and out. His phone had a distant ringing sound that his ears had tuned out.
“Peter? Honey, what’s wrong? Where are you I’ll pick you up ok? Peter come on sweetie you have to breathe remember”
He let out a gasp of air everything coming into focus too loud too bright to wet. He was soaking. Freezing cold water dripped down his face and his clothes had already begun to stick and stiffen him.
He slide down the wall his phone clacking to the floor and he ran his fingers through his hair now warm rain dripping down from his face.
Tears
They were tears, not rain
“Peter?”
And just like that he snapped back a hand touching his shoulder rain still thundering down onto him. He let out a breath blinking and looking up chest still tight.
“H-happy what-heh-what are you doing here?” Peter muttered letting a small laugh leave his lips even though his eyes were full of tears.
Happy frowned at the kid and stood still for a while before swallowing.
“I’m meant to be dropping you home? You like ran straight past me and Tony thought something was wrong or I don’t know but can we just get into the car I’m getting all wet”
Peter nodded slowly biting back the urge to sob. He picked up his soaking phone and realised May was still shouting.
“Oh sorry may I must have butt-dialled you I’ll be home in like an hour”
May sighed into the phone.
“Ok, sweetie call me when you get home alright? I know today has been hard”
“I will love you,” he said then hung up and ignored the way happy looked at him.
He slowly got up not liking at all the way energy was coursing through his veins and his body felt like it might collapse. He was freezing, As he got up his phone slipped from his hand and peter watched as seamlessly in slow motion it clattered to the floor the ratty phone having been through so much shattering immediately on impact.
Peter swore loudly.
Did everything in his life have to go fucking wrong?