"Until Now"
Inspiration:"Alone" by Heart
Unrequited Bucky x Reader
Bucky Barnes had fascinated you for weeks, and it drove you insane.
You couldn’t help but be flooded with fantasies in your mind every time the former Winter Soldier walked by, usually with Steve or Bruce or other ‘supervision.’ As such, you never had the chance to admit your feelings, no matter how hard you tried to send body signals in his direction that he never seemed to receive.
It wasn’t like matters of romance were particularly familiar to you. It was embarrassing to admit to even yourself, but you were still a virgin and only had a few little affairs on your resume, and there was no way someone like Bucky didn’t fuck. You felt insecure every time he was around, and you always bit your tongue when he flirted with you in spite of your attempts to flirt back.
Once in a precious while, you found yourself close to being alone with him, and you’d tried to suggest a date, but before you could spit out the words, he’d brush his hair behind his ear, or bite his sexy, plump lower lip, or he’d smile that devastating grin that made you go weak in the knees. His jokes, his candor, his brute strength he displayed when you peeped in on his workouts with Steve, there wasn’t anything he could do wrong.
There had been one time where you’d been very close. He was walking out of his apartment, hair plastered against his forehead, as he was fresh out of the shower. You happened to be walking by, no one else in the hallway.
You had the nerve that morning to walk up to him and greet him, and he responded by hugging you, which was a surprise (he was far from the type for voluntary close contact). “I’m just having a good morning. The doctor says I should take advantage when I have those feelings. I hope you don’t mind.”
You nodded, knowing he was talking about the psychotrauma therapist Stark had employed specifically for Bucky. And you sure as hell didn’t mind. You could feel his strong arms pleasantly crushing your ribcage, his wet hair was dripping onto your cheek. The scent of the soap he’d used was getting you high, and the height difference between you was such that you were at perfect eye-level with his open shirt, exposing his chest hair.
Ugh, if I ever got you alone, I’d ravage you…
You were getting tired of pining like a high schooler for him, but tonight was going to be ideal to finally speak to him. It was Steve’s birthday, and of course the Avengers were planning on drinking in a circle and playing stupid drinking games all night. You spent the entire day psyching yourself into being brave enough to get him by himself long enough to admit your feelings.
You’d taken special care to make yourself up, especially beautiful. You’d gleaned enough information over the past few weeks to know Bucky was attracted to women in blues and reds, so you’d bought a slinky cocktail dress in the brightest cerulean you could find. You also knew Bucky had a thing for shapely legs, and luckily you were well-skilled in walking around in stiletto heels. There was no way he wouldn’t fall on his knees before you…right?
Making it to the party downstairs “fashionably late,” you stood in the doorway to the bar scanning the room with your eyes, hoping to find Bucky and make a beeline for him before he became too occupied (or intoxicated). The party was already in full swing.
Finally, you found Bucky over on one of the sofas, and your heart sank.
He was surrounded by beautiful women, three of them, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were draped over him like three slutty stoles, the redhead sitting right on his lap, laughing and already three sheets to the wind.
“Hey, Steve. Thanks for inviting your friends!” he said between shots. The blonde massaging his shoulders giggled.
He looked around the room and found you standing there, frozen, in the doorway, and he winked, making your head swim. His look was one of “come hither and join us.”
No. You weren’t some common street girl hoping for a lay with a superhero. You couldn’t possibly answer him and make him associate you as one pretty head in a sea of conquests. This wasn’t how you pictured it. This wasn’t how you wanted it to go down. It seemed it wasn’t the right time, after all.
“I guess the secret is still my own,” you sighed to yourself, slowly backing out of the room and deciding to try another day…as you always did.
Until now, you’d been fine. Until now, you’d always gotten by.
Until now.