Gentle, Gentle, Gentle

“Okay, this is getting ridiculous,” said Yeri, dropping her chopsticks on her barely touched lunch tray. Jaeyi and Kyung eyed her across the table. “She looks like she’s about to drop dead any second. Do you honestly want me to believe that it doesn’t bother you, of all people?”

Jaeyi made sure her expression stayed calm and indifferent. Her mind, however, was a different story. She had been bothered by Seulgi’s behaviour for the past few days. Bags under the girl's eyes have been growing larger and darker, the amount of caffeine Jaeyi saw her consume was getting increasingly alarming, and she even caught the girl on the edge of nodding off in class on several occasions, just before her head snapped back up at lightning speed, two of those just before lunch today.

Worst of all, it was how stubbornly Seulgi kept avoiding all three of them. Every single time class ended, the girl would shoot up from her seat and disappear into the crowded corridors so fast that none of the trio managed to catch up to her even once. If Jaeyi wasn't worried sick, she would be impressed by how expertly Seulgi managed to dodge their attempts to talk to her. They didn't see her before class, they didn't see her during breaks, they didn't even see her at the cafeteria during lunch. Jaeyi could barely make eye contact with the girl, and she was sitting beside her in every class, for Christ's sake. It would be annoying and slightly insulting, if not for the fact that Seulgi looked more like the living dead than a person with each passing day.

“I agree” sighed Kyung, setting her own chopsticks down gently on her own tray and crossing her arms. Jaeyi snapped out of her thoughts to listen. “At the rate she's going, she might just pass out from exhaustion somewhere. I just don't get why she won't talk to anybody, get some kind of help.”

“She won't talk to the two of us because we're not her friends, obviously. She doesn't have parents to talk to, and she never hangs out with anybody. Well, almost” Yeri paused for a second, her gaze setting on Jaeyi. “What is weird is why she won't talk to you” she added, pointing at her. “You seemed to have fun at the festival, I thought you were getting close. Didn't you say she even shut your dad up?”

Jaeyi let a small smile grace her lips. Just the memory of the way Seulgi, looking so small, innocent and frankly, adorable with the LED cat headband Jaeyi picked out for her, argued her father's lecture about healthy eating habits with pointed jabs, made her miss the girl even more.

She knew why Seulgi avoided them, of course. Jo Ara’s words circled back to her, information about Seulgi confessing who was behind the drug dealings. Jaeyi didn't care. Her father already made that accusation go away, she wouldn't face any consequences despite owning up to it in front of the principal, who’s jaw dropped so low it might as well have been dragging on the ground. As if, she scoffed in her head. He would never let something like this spoil the family's, oh so important, reputation. The whole case of Chaehwa Girls’ High School student going crazy at the festival, breaking glass soda bottles and slashing another student's hand was already swept neatly under the rug. Yeri got a very nice amount of hush money from Jaeyi’s father, the school and the police undoubtedly getting several times as much. The media gave up on the story a few days in, right after the release of a very nicely written statement from the principal corroborated by the chief of police. As far as everyone knew, the case was closed and the student expelled.

And yet, Seulgi still avoided Jaeyi like a plague. The smile slipped from her face, replaced by a slight frown. Screw it, she thought. She was desperate, she might as well do something about it.

“Alright” she finally said, her eyes shifting between her two friends, who were now listening intently. “I know why she's avoiding me. I figured maybe sending you two after her would help, but clearly that's not happening, so here's what we're going to do.”

——

Trailing Seulgi on Friday afternoon was laughably easy. The girl was probably too exhausted to notice the trio following her and at this point Jaeyi really couldn't care less. They walked a fair distance away from Seulgi, just in case the zombie in front of them suddenly gained consciousness and decided to make a run for it when she noticed them.

From the way she was dragging her feet, her shoulders sagging under the weight of her backpack and breathing way too harshly for a simple walk home, Jaeyi didn't particularly worry about that scenario. Still, Kyung insisted on it, arguing that if Seulgi somehow tried running away, she might collapse. That was more than enough reason for the trio to agree to keep their distance until they found a somewhat remote location.

It seemed like today was their lucky day.

Not far from the school, Seulgi turned into an alley, no doubt a shortcut to her stepmother's apartment. Jaeyi gestured to Kyung and Yeri, who sped up to cut the girl off.

Now, Jaeyi expected Seulgi to get irritated, maybe even mad. She could imagine the girl trying to push through the barrier that Kyung and Yeri created, snapping at them with harsh words and an even harsher gaze. What she didn't expect was Seulgi bumping straight into the two girls, who hurried to steady her when she swayed in place from the gentle impact, Seulgi not even moving away from the touch as she usually would.

Jaeyi couldn't even stop her eyebrows from shooting up when she heard Seulgi’s voice apologising to her friends. She didn't expect the girl to sound so wrecked.

Tired, sure. Exhausted? Probably. But Seulgi's voice was hoarse, cracking slightly at the simple words, which were accompanied by harsh, uncontrollable breaths. Jaeyi's heart skipped a beat. This is bad, she thought simply.

She caught Kyung's raised eyebrow and Yeri’s frown when they both looked up at her over Seulgi's shoulders, which they were still holding, clearly worried that she might fall over any second. She nodded to them, gesturing to the end of the alleyway, and her friends made sure Seulgi was standing relatively stable before muttering something about the bump not being a big deal and not to worry, before walking away to wait for her signal, just as they planned a few days ago. Jaeyi moved a bit closer, close enough to reach out for the exhausted girl. She didn't, remembering their plan.

—

The trio sat in the study room at J Medical Centre, focused on their research.

“There’s a check-list on this website” Yeri broke the silence, tilting her phone so the other girls could see the screen. Jaeyi leaned in when Yeri started reading out loud.

“One – find out what the problem is. Well, that’s useless, we know this already. Two – ask your friend how they’re feeling. We tried that, barely managed to finish a sentence before she bolted. Three – listen to them talk. She doesn’t ta- Hey!”

“Give me that” came from exasperated Kyung, ignoring Yeri’s complaining and instead skimming through the website. A moment passed. “Okay, here. Express your concern for them.”

“I don’t want to make her feel even more guilty for worrying us” Jaeyi rolled her eyes.

“Well, it’s either that, or we wait until she passes out. Next – plan a fun night in. Could that work?”

Jaeyi hummed in response, nodding gently.

“Make them dinner. Bring your friend a nice treat. Does Seulgi have a favourite candy, fruit or something?” Kyung asked.

“Strawberries” came Jaeyi’s immediate reply. She ignored Yeri’s eyebrows shooting up to her hairline and Kyung’s small, smug smile. “I can buy some, that’s easy. We’ll have to figure out dinner, but Seulgi isn’t picky.”

“Great, add it to the plan. Last one – sometimes a hug is all you need. That’s obviously happening, right?” Before Jaeyi could answer, Yeri interrupted with the widest grin on her face.

“Obviously”

Jaeyi rolled her eyes again, not bothering with a comment. Kyung gave Yeri back her phone, before speaking again.

“You have to be very gentle with her, alright?” Kyung raised her hand, stopping Jaeyi’s protest before it could begin. “ I know you don’t want to hurt her. But you can be a bit blunt and cornering, that could make everything worse. Be. Gentle. Now, how do we get her attention?”

—

“Seulgi” she called out instead of reaching out and flinched at her own tone. Could she have sounded any more emotionless? What a shitty start.

Well, too late to fix that, a bitter thought crossed her mind when Seulgi spun around, her eyes immediately locking on Jaeyi, who's heart dropped to her stomach. Because Seulgi looked terrified.

“Yoo Jaeyi” she breathed out, her gaze a bit hazy. Jaeyi smiled gently. Gentle, gentle, be as gentle as you can possibly be, was repeating in her mind.

“Hi, Seulgi-ah. How are you?” she asked, her voice quiet and calm. She saw Seulgi gulp, her eyes shifting to the sidewalk.

“I’m okay. How are you?” came a robotic reply. Somewhere in her stomach, Jaeyi’s heart cracked a bit at the look the other girl was giving her. Was she actually afraid? Did she think Jaeyi would be angry with her, even after praising Seulgi after she stood up for herself in the classroom? Jaeyi’s mind  flashed back to the scar on the girl’s collarbone. Did Seulgi think she was going to hurt her?

Her heart cracked a bit more when she stepped closer, and Seulgi’s shoulders immediately tensed up, prepared for whatever she thought she deserved.

“I’m alright. But I’m worried about you” Jaeyi murmured, slowly lifting a hand to Seulgi’s arm, letting a single finger glide gently over her jacket sleeve. A repetitive motion, a soft back and forth meant to calm and comfort. She cheered internally when Seulgi, despite a small flinch, didn’t move away. Seulgi’s eyes briefly locked with her own before dropping back to the pavement. Gentle, gentle, gentle.

“You don’t need to be worried. I’m okay.”

Your voice cracked three times just now and you’re still not looking at me. Jaeyi banished the thought before it could surface, letting a small, doubtful hum leave her lips instead.

“So you’ve said. Woo Seulgi” she tried and was instantly rewarded with Seulgi’s eyes looking up at her. Jaeyi let one corner of her lips curl up slightly. Gentle, gentle, gentle. “That’s better, hmm? I think I do need to be worried. You look like you haven’t slept all week, your cheeks are sunken and your mind is clearly very busy. Could we talk about that?”

Too fast! Her mind screamed at her a bit too late, sounding suspiciously like Kyung.

Seulgi stepped back, Jaeyi’s finger dropping from the jacket. Her eyes fell to the dirty ground once again. Her arms, previously clutching the straps of her backpack, now wrapped themselves tightly around her own body, as if she desperately wanted to hold herself together. Her breath started coming even harsher, loud in the quiet alley.

Guilt overwhelmed Jaeyi’s senses for a moment, immediately regretting causing her friend distress. Just behind the guilt, however, relief surfaced. Seulgi was starting to crack, and when she would finally break, Jaeyi would be right there to put her back together. Screw the plan. With a deep breath, she went for the final push, one the trio agreed not to mention until much later.

“I know you confessed I was behind the drugs.”

The speed at which Seulgi’s head snapped up would be comical under any other circumstances. As it was, the moisture in her eyes, her trembling chin and the frown settling over her eyebrows and cracked lips left only devastation.

“Jaeyi-ah…” Seulgi barely got the name out, before swallowing heavily. Gentle, gentle, gentle, Jaeyi reminded herself, and hurried to interrupt her fragile friend.

“It’s okay. Everything is okay.”

She stepped a bit closer, her hands away from her body, palms open. A tear dropped from Seulgi’s eye, her whole body now shaking just as much as her lips and chin. And before either of them managed anything else, a small sob slipped from her mouth, triggering tear after tear to fall down her face.

“Seulgi-ah. Come here” was all Jaeyi said before softly setting her hands on Seulgi’s quivering shoulder and pulling her in, one arm circling her waist and another cradling the back of her head.

And that was all it took.

With a loud, heartbreaking sob, Seulgi pushed her head into Jaeyi’s shoulder, her hands now fisting the pristine jacket, wrinkling it terribly.

“Jaeyi-ah” Seulgi’s voice was nothing more than a whine, teary and devastated. Jaeyi held her a little tighter, pressed her cheek against Seulgi’s temple, humming softly under her breath when the sobs only got louder.

“Breathe, Seulgi-ah, it’s okay. You’re okay. I’m okay. it’s all over.”

The only response was another choked sob. Over Seulgi’s shoulder, Jaeyi could see Kyung and Yeri emerging from behind the corner, their eyes wide and worried. Jaeyi briefly let go of Seulgi’s head, shushing the quiet whine it provoked and waved at them to stay back, before letting her fingers tangle gently, gently into Seulgi’s hair, scratching lightly at her scalp. Seulgi shifted her face into her neck, mumbling something.

“What was that, honey?” Jaeyi asked into Seulgi’s temple, the term of endearment slipping out so naturally she didn’t even notice. She wouldn’t be able to see it, focused on Seulgi as she was, but a few meters away Yeri let out a quiet coo, while Kyung smiled slightly. She did notice Seulgi’s ear reddening a little, and couldn’t resist pressing her lips to the girl’s temple, not quite kissing it, just holding herself there for a few seconds.

“Sorry” Seulgi choked out through another sob.

“You don’t need to apologise, honey” was murmured immediately, soft and sure.

“Please, Jaeyi-ah” came the reply, slightly frustrated. Exhausted Seulgi, it seemed, was also a cranky Seulgi. Jaeyi didn’t even try to hide her smile, pressing it to the girl’s ear. “I’m sorry.”

“Alright. Thank you, I forgive you. Everything’s okay now. Just breathe.”

No more words came after that, only Seulgi’s weakening sobs and Jaeyi’s quiet, nonsensical murmurs filling the alley. Yeri and Kyung, loyal as ever, stayed near and waited patiently, exchanging glances and an occasional whisper every so often. And finally, after a few more minutes, Seulgi’s cries stopped, her breath now hitching just the tiniest bit every couple of seconds. Jaeyi held her as she snuggled a bit closer, arms wrapping weakly around her waist, not hesitant or scared anymore, simply tired. After a few moments of complete silence, Jaeyi deemed it safe enough to move to the next part of their plan and waved Yeri and Kyung over.

“Better?” she asked quietly, feeling Seulgi nod into her neck in response. Yeri came up to them first, trying to catch a glimpse of Seulgi’s face, smiling softly when it stayed hidden in Jaeyi’s neck.

“You must be exhausted” Yeri stated, causing Seulgi to burrow even closer. Jaeyi gave her a quick, comforting squeeze, her poor heart melting when she felt a weak reciprocation. “Did you sleep well at all this week?” Yeri pushed a bit more.

“No.” Jaeyi stifled a laugh at the curt, grumpy response, before getting her head back in the game.

“Dad is at a medical conference until Sunday. It’s really important, his schedule is full and he’s the last speaker, so no chances of getting back early. How do you feel about another sleepover?” she asked, switching from rubbing Seulgi’s back to lightly scratching it. When the girl shivered a bit and melted, she added a nuzzle to her temple for good measure, mentally apologising to her heart, which by now couldn’t be more than a puddle.

“Okay.”

The trio smiled, relieved that their plan seemed to be going smoothly. Well, except the breakdown.

“I have to call Auntie and tell her” Seulgi’s voice was now slurring slightly from pure exhaustion, her body sagging a bit against Jaeyi, who simply readjusted her hold. This time, it was Kyung’s turn to take charge. Just as planned, Jaeyi thought to herself, satisfied. She was just slightly irritated that it wasn’t her leading the interaction anymore, but she reminded herself she had something much more important to take care of, right there in her arms.

“I’ll call her and then order a taxi. Give me your phone.”

And with Jaeyi fishing out Seulgi’s phone from the girl’s pocket, handing it to Kyung, who now disappeared behind a corner to make the phone calls, the alley once again fell silent.