Chapter 2
The alarm cuts through the hazy morning, startling all three bedmates out of a hard sleep. Eddie’s left hand waves behind him, flapping about until it finds the right button to make the noise stop. Buck lets out a soft upset noise at the disturbance, the shifting jostling his head still tucked into Eddie’s shoulder.
Eddie shushes him quietly, more a sleepy reflex than a response to his friends distress. His right hand, still wrapped around Buck and keeping him tucked close, rubs at his hip. He startles as his fingers tangle in hair. He doesn’t stop his movements as he untangles from the hair. Taylors hair. Because Taylor Kelly is asleep in his bed.
She must have moved in the night, rolled out of her position as the biggest spoon. A glance over shows the duvet dipping behind Buck’s back, then again off the side of the bed. She’s pressed up against Buck’s back. Eddie can see his left arm reaching behind his back, he’s probably holding her hand. He can feel Buck’s right arm between them, fingers still gripping the waistband of Eddie’s sweatpants like he may try to leave.
“Up,” Buck mumbles, though he makes no move to leave his cocoon nor release his grips.
“Sleep.” Eddie whispers back, moves his hand to Buck’s lower back. He’s a sucker for a good scratch.
“Christopher,” Buck counters. Eddie smiles at the ceiling, lets his eyes adjust to the light of the rising sun.
“I got it. In a minute.” He says softly, hoping Buck will drift back off.
“Me too.” Buck adds with a wiggle and a sigh, his body pressing harder into Eddie’s.
“You sleep more, I’ve got it.” Eddie repeats, gives his a little squeeze.
“Time is it?” Taylor’s sleepy voice questions from the far side of the bed. Buck tenses between them.
“Fuck.” Buck says so softly he wouldn’t be heard if his people weren’t pressed up against him.
“Hey babe,” Taylor greets lightly, the bed shifting as she stretches. “Time is it?” She questions again.
“Six oh five.” Eddie answers awkwardly. He didn’t know what to do last night but he sure as hell doesn’t know what the protocol is now. When its just the two of them, just he and Buck, he would give a squeeze and sneak off for a shower now. Reassure his friend then give him space before they sit down to breakfast and act like they weren’t all cuddled up together twenty minutes before.
With three, he has no idea how this is supposed to play out. It seems easiest to just leave his two bedmates in bed and go about his morning with Christoper as usual, pretending to his son and himself theres nothing out of the ordinary going on.
But Taylor seems to be sitting up in bed, and Buck’s gone stock still beside him.
“Today, this is an ungodly hour.” Taylor sighs as she sits against the headboard, tipping her head back on the wall.
“Sorry,” Buck mumbles so pitifully between them. The wave of guilt and shame has hit him in a rush. His head is throbbing in a crying hangover, and his chest feels weighted with lead. He kept them both up. She was exhausted, and Eddie must have been exhausted and he kept them both up. He’s so needy. He’s so exhausting.
Eddie’s arm squeezes him close of its own accord at the self depreciation he knows Buck is bullying himself with. Taylor’s hand brushes his elbow as her hand settles in Buck’s curls.
“No one is mad at you Buckley. No one’s upset. It’s not your fault, it's nothing coffee can’t fix.” Eddie’s never heard Taylors voice so gentle. He didn’t know she was capable of it actually. Buck’s breath stutters an aborted sob between them.
“I’ve got coffee.” He chimes in stupidly. He closes his eyes in embarrassment.
“I’ll make breakfast,” Buck rushes out. If no one slept, at least they can eat. At least he can feed them. He can be helpful.
“No.” Eddie and Taylor say together. Both firm, both still holding him between them. Eddie doesn’t dare move. Doesn’t know what his next move would be. How is he supposed to behave in this situation.
“Christopher will want pancakes.” Buck explains, looking up at Taylor, down at Eddie. His eyes are bloodshot and swollen. Small and scared.
“And he’ll survive with cereal. Just like every other day.” Eddie says gently. He holds Buck’s eye contact until Buck breaks it at Taylors voice. She’s looking down at them unreadably.
“I’ll order bagels. And coffee. Lots of coffee. Maybe danishes.” She sounds a little more like the Taylor Eddie’s used to, conspiratorial but still gentle and she smiles at Buck.
“He likes cinnamon.” Buck mumbles back. Her fingers scratch at his curls again, his eyes flutter tiredly at the sensation.
“Mmm cinnamon buns it is.” She whispers. She rolls her shoulders, hand still on Buck. He’s always needier the morning after a nightmare. They’re not really a cuddly couple, she prefers the freedom to move without worrying about disturbing someone else. Isn’t that a statement on her life. She makes the effort though, when he’s like this. She can hold the touch for him.
“I need to pee, and find my phone to order breakfast.” She thinks out loud. Buck won’t want to be left, but, “You wanna shower with Eddie while I order, baby? I’m sure I can figure out coffee and then you guys can do Christopher?” She questions. When she looks down Eddie and Buck are both looking up at her, wide eyed. She didn’t think it was the worst plan she could come up with, given the circumstances. Neither man speaks, nor moves. They’re frozen, stuck together.
“Yes? No? Maybe so? It’s your house Diaz, I don’t know the routine,” She prompts. The mention of his name has Eddie startling. He wiggles, disentangles his arm in an attempt to sit up.
“Yeah, yeah, Buck can shower and-” He nods, sitting up. His pants stay where they are, gripped in Bucks clasp. He cut’s himself off when he feels the sheets on his bare ass. “You gotta let go for a sec, just a sec,” Eddies voice drops low and gentle, a reassuring mumble as he slides back down a bit and puts a hand over Bucks. He wiggles his hips to pull the pants back up.
“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” Buck chants, cheeks flaming.
“It’s okay. Its just been a minute since I was last pantsed.” Eddie’s voice and smile are gentle. His fingers tangle in Buck’s as he sits up all the way.
“That’d be a sight.” Taylor can’t help but comment. She rakes her eyes obviously down Eddie’s chest, his own cheeks heating to match Buck’s.
“If Taylor orders breakfast, you can come take the first shower. I’ll brush my teeth and then start getting Christopher together.” Eddie
“Eddie likes cream and mocha. If you’re doing that bakery.” Buck says as he moves sits up.
“Mocha with cream, caramel with oat, got it,” Taylor nods. She leans down to kiss his cheek as she climbs out of the bed. “I’m on it.” She says as she leaves the room.
It’s just the two of them again. Eddie sitting, Buck half propped and staring at the door. Hands laced together. Its the two of them again. The way it usually. But different. It’s different.
“Shower?” Eddie says after giving himself a moment to sit in it.
“Yeah, yeah.” Buck agrees, scrambling beside him to get out of bed.
Eddie spends the walk to the bathroom trying to remember how he usually walks to the bathroom.
Buck follows him into the small bathroom. He turns the shower on for Buck, swaps out Buck’s yellow towel from behind the door with his own on the hook next to the shower. It’s all unnecessary, probably, doing it for him. It feels more natural than standing and watching Buck strip. Which he’s not doing.
Buck’s just standing there, staring at the floor. His bare toes are curling into the bathmat Carla told him to buy. His fingers are twisted into the hem of the shirt Eddie put on him not six hours ago. “All you man,” Eddie finds himself prompting.
“Sorry,” Buck mumbles as he startles into movement. His brain still feels mush. He knows he’s supposed to be doing something. Supposed to be showering because his skin hurts. The thought of going through the steps feels exhausting and overwhelming. But Eddie’s been so good to him. And Taylor. Taylor brought him here and is buying Christopher breakfast and he can do this one thing. He fumbles with his shirt, getting it stuck on his elbows.
“Slow down,” Eddie says softly as he steps in, reaching for the shirt and pulling it over Buck’s head. Buck’s body is vibrating under his fingers.
“I’m sorry,” Is all Buck can come up with when his eyes meet Eddie’s after losing his shirt. Eddie’s looking at him, eyebrows pinched and eyes staring so intently. He’s just staring. And then he’s looking away, sticking his hand into the shower and sighing.
“You have nothing to be sorry for Buck, just shower, it’ll help.” Buck’s nodding along, though he’s not sure why.
Eddie turns when Buck pushes down his waistband. He reaches for his toothbrush, just for something to do. He can see Buck in the mirror, feels him moving behind him. Buck steps into the shower with a rustle of the curtain.
The water hurts his skin. He knows his face is swollen and raw. It hurts when he rubs his hand down it which probably means it will stay red and splotchy all day. Its’ a day off, he doesn’t have to work until tomorrow morning. Hopefully it will look better than that. He’ll put on concealer before dinner with Maddie tonight. He’ll feel like an idiot doing it. She’d be concerned though. She’d wonder how he got that way. Think about it long after he goes home. He doesn’t want her to worry. She already worries too much. He was already a burden to too many people today.
He lets the water run over him and tries to work up the energy to use soap. His skin is tight from sweat and tears. Maybe it's not the water that hurts so much, maybe it's just being in a body. Buck sits down with a thunk. It’s easier this way.
“You okay?” Eddie questions from the other side of the curtain. His voice is gurgly, mouth full of toothpaste.
“Sat,” He says back, resting the side of his head against his tucked knees. He closes his eyes. Just for a minute.
“Dizzy?” Eddie questions with a spit.
“No.” Comes Buck’s quiet voice from the shower. Eddie looks at the curtain like it may have the instructions for his life mapped out on it. It doesn’t, andEddie starts to feel like a creep even in his own home.
Buck gathers the energy to soap up his hair. It's matted with sweat. He rubs his hands over his body and tries to remember how to breathe normally. Right now it feels too slow. It's worse when he thinks about it too much. Everything's worse when he thinks about it too much.
Eddie doesn’t want to leave room, doesn’t want to be too far from Buck. Not seeing him feels far enough. He pushes past what that may mean and checks his phone for the time. Six twelve. He really should wake Christopher in the next thirteen minutes. He could probably use a shave but maybe Buck’s hands aren’t the only ones that are unsteady. He flips the toilet seat up for a piss.
“They were out of the good apple tarts so I got plain bagels and cinnamon buns all around,” Taylor announces as she crashes into the well occupied bathroom with her phone. Eddie tries not to get piss on himself as he turns farther towards the corner and stuffs his dick back into his pants.
“Jesuchristo. Fuck Taylor, knock much?” He shoots back, catching her face in the mirror. He can see her look up at him from her phone.
“Whats wrong?” Buck’s head sticks out from behind the curtain, hair soapy, face splotchy. His eyebrows are creased in concern. Eddie feels the urge to run his finger between them, smooth out the wrinkle. He flushes and moves to the sink instead, tries to wash the moment away.
“Sorry, I figured you’d both be in the shower. I would have announced myself if I knew your dick was out.” Taylor shrugs, brushing past him to flip down the toilet lid. She perches on top, thin legs crossed delicately.
Buck tucks back into the shower, tips his head back under the spray. Drowns out the conversation. Doesn’t think about that image at all. Doesn’t.
“Buck’s in the shower,” Eddie says obviously. His brain tries to compute the statement. She assumed they’d be showering together. Just, casually. She said it like it was part of their morning routine. Like any of this is part of any routine.
“I see that.” She agrees with a smile before turning back to her phone. Eddie finds himself staring at the side of her head.
She’s drowning in Buck’s sweatpants and the tank top she’s in is really too tight to be appropriate for the breakfast table. Especially braless. Jesuchristo those are her nipples. He flushes and looks back to the mirror. She’ll need a hoodie.
The shower cuts off behind him. Buck reaches for his towel blindly, a well practiced move. He emerges in a cloud of steam a moment later. His whole body is pink.
“Hi, babe,” Taylor greets at the same time Eddie says “Hey, man.” She smiles at the juxtaposition and Buck’s overwhelmed glance back and forth between them.
“Better?” She questions when the men remain silent, still. Buck looks up at her and nods. He tries to smile, but by the placating one he gets in response he figures it was a weak result.
“Go grab some clothes and I’ll wake Christopher and throw on a pot of coffee,” Eddie instructs. With a glance at Taylor he adds “Grab a her a hoodie.”
Buck looks up at her as she looks down at herself.
“Too much tit for six am?” She questions lightly. Buck’s cheeks can’t get any redder then they have been, but Eddie knows his own are.
“Yup.” He settles on flatly, turning to leave the bathroom. Buck lets himself be ushered out first by virtue of floor space.