Malory archer has had enough

 The band was playing, yet all Krieger could hear was the shattering of the glass that had been in Malory’s hand. Probably his que to leave.

“Krieger!” she snarled.

He yelped as she began stalking towards him. YUP. He turned tail and ran shouting over his shoulder: “But you were temporarily so happy!” in an attempt to calm her down. It did not work.

Cyril had joined the chase shouting after him, as well as Pam who was cheering pushing the cocaine cart along.

Krieger was faster than the lot thankfully, even with Pam being coked up as she was. Though she wasn’t really angry at him, more caught up in the thrill of the chase. If he could just make it to his lab he could wait out the furious pursuers on his heels.

He skirted the corner practically throwing himself into his makeshift lab and slamming the door shut quickly flipping the deadbolt into place. Krieger sagged against the door frame closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

“Get your ass out here!” Cyril pounded on the door.

The man smirked, yeah…no.

“What did you expect to accomplish with this “sham” of yours?”

Krieger jumped eyes flicking about the room until they landed on one Malory Archer. He pointed to the door then to her.

“But-how did you?”

“This house is full of secret passages and hidden doors,” she crossed her arms, “Remember?”

Of course he remembered, it was one of his favorite things about the place! He hadn't been aware that Malory knew the location of the secret door in this room, however. His lab no longer felt like the castle he had made it to be; now it was entirely too small and suffocating. How one woman could be so intimidating was a scientific phenomenon!

“Now answer the question.”

He pushed away from the door moving quickly behind the pool/impromptu cocaine packaging table to put some space between himself and the woman.

“Well- it made you happy, didn’t it?”

“It did,” She prowled forward narrowing her gaze at the scientist, “Until I learned that you lied to me, Krieger.”

“No! You didn’t ask who was buying the cocaine.” He supplied nervously. “So, I didn’t lie technically.”

“I shouldn’t have to ask specifics! It’s my cocaine!” she snapped slamming her hands down on the table hard enough to make the man jump.

“Ok- I know you’re mad-“

“That is an understatement-“

“But! I can make it up to you-“

Malory lunged forward, snatching the man by his tie and pulling him forward until they were nose to nose.

“Oh, I know you will.” She said calmly. “I plan on it.”

“What-ulk!”

She pulled until his chest touched the red felt of the pool table and he had little choice but to follow unless he wished to be strangled by his own tie. Which would have been arousing – he wasn’t one to shy away from a little choking- but in this context he found himself more worried than horny. His fingers scrambled to get under the tie and loosen the fabric so he could at least breathe.

His turned his head, resting his cheek against the table and looking up at the vexed woman. Who now had the nail gun he had left out from an earlier project. He swallowed thickly.

“Malory- wait wait wait!”

He flinched as the gun went off several times waiting for pain, but none came surprisingly. Krieger opened his eyes watching the woman set the gun down and walk out of sight. He let loose a shaky breath moving to stand. Only to be stopped when the tie began to tighten around his throat once more. A quick look showed him the reason- She had literally nailed his tie to the table! an effective way to keep him in place.

He rested his chest against the table trying to loosen the tie enough to be able to breathe easy. Malory hadn’t spoken a single word, instead going through drawers and cupboards, sifting through papers, ignoring Krieger completely and leaving him to racing thoughts. He shifted his feet trying to ignore the hard table’s edge digging into his hips.

His stomach dropped.         

A scientist’s mind was a crazy place, so many ideas, thoughts, and dialogues running all at once it was easy to forget things until jogged by the right trigger. The ominous sense of déjà vu washing over him now was jogging some worrisome memories; specifically one involving a ruler and the inability to sit comfortably the rest of the day.

“C-can’t we talk about this?” He finally asked.

“That’s the plan, dear.” She said from somewhere to the left, out of sight. “First, tell me where the ping pong paddle is.”

A hot jolt shot down his spine. How did she know he had one? Did she know about his side experiment? No… she couldn’t. Right? Either way he was sure he did not want her to have it or know its location. So he would play dumb.

“T-the what?” He laughed nervously. “I don’t have- one of those!”

“I know you do. You’ve been using to antagonize Sterling.”

“I wasn’t antagonizing him!” Krieger defended. Though he immediately regretted the decision.

“Then what were you doing?”

Knowing it a useless effort to lie he began to explain, rather sheepishly, his train of thought: “Well, I noticed his reaction to me when I had one in my hand a little while ago and- and I was curious…so I continued to show it in his presence or put it in someplace he would see to watch his reaction.”

Malory was a good agent in her day, still was, so it was little wonder how she picked up on his study. Likely second nature to her. Unfortunate.

“Where is it?”

“I- um misplaced it?”

Malory was suddenly crouched before him with a truly predatory glare. Her voice was cool, and deceptively calm.

"Krieger, I am going to count to three. If you don't tell me what I want to know by then I will add 10 swats for each second you make me wait." 

The dangerous edge in her tone was not lost to him. A quiet eep escaped his lips- the woman was terrifying! 

Krieger could no longer pretend that this wasn't going where it was and he certainly did not want to give the woman extra incentive to be harsher than need be.

However, a prideful part of him didn't want to give in quite yet, not easily at least.

“I don’t know-"

“One.”

“We’re both adults-“

“Two.”

“Let's talk!"

“Thre-“

“OK! Ok!" He exclaimed quickly. "Right drawer in the desk with the monitors."

She smiled and patted him on the cheek. “Was that so hard?”

He could only frown, feeling pretty sorry for himself at that moment. 

The item retrieved Malory, in no hurry it seemed, walked around and was behind him once more. His lab coat was folded up over the small of his back. His pants, along with any residual hope that this was just a scare tactic, were crumpled around his feet, soon followed by his underwear. He shivered against the cool air.

“Y-you don’t have to do this.” Krieger stammered in a last ditch effort to save his ass.

His answer came in the form of a swat, one that had him jolting forward up onto the toes of his scuffed up shoes. A strangled yelp clawed its way out of his throat. Holy shit that hurt!

“It seems to be the only way to get something through that thick skull of yours.” Every other word was punctuated with a swat.

He knew nothing he said would stay the woman’s hand so he instead focused on keeping quiet. This time around he didn’t have the luxury of everyone being unconscious… and though the music was loud he feared it wasn’t loud enough to drown out the sound of the paddle against his poor ass or the sounds it was drawing from him. Not like his lab was very far from where the baby shower was being held. Only saving grace was the door was locked, so if someone did come to investigate at least they wouldn’t see him getting his ass beat…small comfort that was.

For being an older woman Malory had one hell of a swing.

One particularly hard swat caught his upper thigh drawing out a loud curse and he stomped his foot. Another smack on his other thigh had him thrusting a hand back involuntarily. Malory sighed heavily.

“Hand’s out front.”

Not really caring how he sounded or what he looked like Krieger shook his head. “I’m sorry! You can stop!”

“I’m glad to hear that. But that does not mean we are done. Move it.” He ignored her, using this time to catch his breath. “Krieger, if I have to nail your sleeve to the table you will be one very unhappy little scientist.”

 He was unhappy now. However, her tone had shifted to something inherently dangerous and he knew better than to call her bluff. So, he drew back and instead buried his head in his folded arms.

“Good boy.”

He wasn’t given long to relish the small amount of praise before she started up again. Good God he wasn’t aware that a simple ping pong paddle could cause such a burning sting! It had only been a minute or so and he was already shedding a few tears. He liked to think he had a high pain tolerance but this kinda pain was entirely different apparently. The paddle slapped down on the center of his ass with a lot more force than before- he bit his arm hard muffling a yelp into his sleeve.

Then- no next swat. He sagged in relief, not sure and frankly not caring why Malory had stopped. Good time to get his breathing under control.

“Do you know why I keep you at my agency?” She asked. Krieger rubbed a sleeve across his eyes and shook his head. “Because you do good work. And I know that you can continue to do good work for this agency.”

“Y-you really think so?”

“Of course. However;” The paddle's sudden reappearance caught him off guard and effectively erased any smidgen of comfort the words had provided, “you are in need of guidance on occasion. And a reminder of who signs your paycheck.” The swats drifted down to his upper thighs. “I will not have you lying to me about my business!”

That seemed to be the breaking point for the man, tears poured down his face as he rested his head in his arms in the useless attempt to muffle his cries.

“Do we have an understanding?” He nodded then yelped as he received another particularly hard swat. “Use your words dear.”

“Y-yup yup yup! Understand! N-no more lying to you!” He sniffed. “M’sorry!”

“Good.” Her cheerful tone was contrasted greatly by the paddles awful sting.

Six swats, harder than any of the ones so far, directed right at his sit spots, drew out a yipping whine from the scientist. Then nothing; no next smack, or lecture, or anything of the sort. His breath shuddered in his chest. Malory moved.

“Look at me, Krieger.” Not in the headspace to argue he looked up at the woman through wet eyelashes. “Lie to me again and?”

He furrowed his brow, mind still sluggish from his crying. She was waiting for something- oh!

“t-this will seem l-like a warm-up?”

“Yes.” Her approving smile sent a shiver through him, like he passed a test he hadn’t known he had been taking. She stood and walked away flaunting the paddle. “I’m keeping this.”

“Wait- where are you going?”

“I need a drink.”

“Aren’t you going to cut me loose?”

“I hadn’t planned on it,” she said calmly, “you’ll figure it out.”

Then she was gone. Likely through the normal door, meaning it was now unlocked. Anyone walking in would have a full view of his red ass. Perfect. Nope, needed to get free and fast.

If he could get his shoes and pants off then maybe he could climb up on the table creating enough slack for him to slip his neck free. However, at the moment any movement on his part was painful. 

So he just rested, attempting to get his tears and breathing under control.

Just a minute or two passed before the door opened and Krieger froze. A low whistle from somewhere behind him.

“She did a number on you, huh?”

Cyril came into view arms crossed and a smug smirk on his face. One which dropped once he saw just how disheveled Krieger looked. Said scientist averted his eyes burying his face in his arm in an attempt to hide.

“I d-don’t want to talk about it.” Came the muffled reply.

Cyril sighed. “I cant imagine you do. Wait- did she- she nailed your tie to the table?!”

He nodded sullenly.

“Jeez…”

There was movement and shuffling of drawers and papers- was- Cyril wouldn’t spank him as well…right? The man had been pounding on Krieger's door not 15 minutes ago…and he was in the perfect position if that’s what Cyril had in mind. The heavy clunk of the deadbolt sliding into place didn’t calm his nerves any.

“Do you want the nails pried out? Or just for me to cut the tie?”

Krieger looked up at Cyril who was holding a hammer and a pair of scissors. Given the tie was already ruined he opted for the scissors as they would get him out of this position the fastest. Once free Krieger pulled off what remained of the garment and tossed it aside. Perhaps he should switch to clip on ties.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“Why-“ Krieger took a measured breath. “Why did you help me? Aren’t you angry?”

“Well, I was…still kinda am, truth be told. But-“ Cyril shrugged as he stepped around to stand next to the man and clap him on the shoulder, “It looks like you’ve been punished enough, no need for me to add to it.”

Many others at the agency- most of them- saw Cyril’s kindness and willingness to help as weakness. Viewed him as being too soft. Krieger didn’t see it like that. Actually, especially now, he was grateful for those traits.

Pants still around his ankles Krieger pulled Cyril in for a hug. The man froze, arms held out awkwardly.

"Wha- Krieger! We've had this talk about hugging people when you don't have pants on."

Krieger sniffed and nodded, mumbling an apology as he took a step back. Cyril sighed. 

"Hold on." He buttoned up the man's lab coat before pulling him into a hug , rubbing his back. "You probably don't want to be wearing pants right now anyways judging by the shade of red your ass currently is."

Krieger shook his head, no quick quip to add or smart ass comment. No, he just buried his head in the crook of Cyril's neck absorbing the comfort he was being provided.  

************

The next day:

Krieger crouched down wincing when his pants rubbed against the still tender skin. Ironically, the swatting he'd received from Malory last night gave him an in-depth understanding of why Archer reacted the way he did to the ping pong paddle. Which was why he was now going through Malory's things.

"Where is it?" He muttered to himself, shifting to look under the bed. Not there. He didn't have much time left-

"Krieger, what are you doing in my room?" Malory asked cooly.

He yelped, jumping up to his feet. "Oh umm looking for bugs! Can't be too careful." They eyed one another, the scientist carefully skirting the woman to get to the door. "Well, got work to do-"

She snatched him by his ear, halting him in his tracks.

"Ow! Let go!" 

"Are you sure you weren't looking for this?" She asked pulling the infamous paddle from her purse.

He flicked his gaze between the paddle and her steely gaze taking the calculated risk to try and reclaim the item. It ended with him face first against the wall, arm twisted uncomfortably behind his back. 

 SMACK. SMACK. SMACK. SMACK.

Fresh swats on sore skin really hurt! He yelped pushing up to his tip toes in an attempt to get away from the assault. One more searing swat and Malory let him go. Krieger stumbled out of her room with the grace of a newborn foal, casting a glare her way once he got his feet under him. 

She flicked the paddle into the air, catching it with practiced ease. Shaking her head Malory closed the door leaving Krieger in the hall to sulk 

Welp, better just stay on her good side. And hide his bad side better around her at least. He absentmindedly rubbed his rear on the way back to his lab.