The pain goes away as soon as she opens her eyes again. She is not in Moscow anymore, her surroundings replaced with a field of flowers. She died, she knew the moment she recognized the redhead in the distance. It’s only a matter of time before she is in Natasha's arms, her chin along her collarbone, her gentle hand stroking her short hair. A genuine feeling of happiness runs around her, she never felt so content since the snap. Her death was meaningless, no great sacrifice like she imagines times and times again, but she doesn’t care. She is with her wife, the only love of her life.
“I missed you so much” Maria finally let out.
“Me too Ria- Me too,” Natasha kissed her head, her familiar face seemingly torn with sadness.
Something is off, She can feel it. It’s too good to be true.
Natasha takes a step back, now cupping her hands around her face. "Tell Fury I said hi. Check on Wanda too, when you have the time."
"What?" Maria asks, she doesn’t understand, she is not going back. She refuses to go back.
Natasha doesn’t reply, a soft smile escaping her feature quickly tainted with a tear.
She feels something pulling behind her, hauling her. The pain in her stomach comes back, and she knows that the bittersweet expression on Natasha’s face wasn’t solely sadness to see her so soon. She doesn’t want to go back again. She wants to stay with the lover of her life, the one person that left her feeling alive.
"It isn’t your time Ria.. you need to go back. You have so much more to live for."
"I can’t lose you again. I want to stay. Please… I…"
"I’ll wait for you, I’ll always wait for you." Natasha smiles, letting go of Maria’s hand.
"I can’t live without you Nat, I can’t go back," Maria cries out reaching for Natasha's hands again. But her efforts are pointless, her hands turning transparent.
"Live for me, Maria, I love you."
The sight of Natasha before her slowly disappears. Everything around turning to ashes. She feels pressure on her stomach. Someone is pressing on her wounds. She desperately wants to go back, go back to her wife. In a hope of despair, she closes her eyes again, only to find darkness. She tries going back, letting the profound darkness consume her. It doesn’t work. Natasha is gone and she’s alone again.