My Sweet Pea
“Hi Wade!” called Yukio from the door. Wade waved back with a masked grin. Oh my god. I knew Yukio was cute, but this! I wanted to pinch her little cheeks and learn how to knit her a sweater. Was overwhelming adorableness her mutant ability? How could this be possible?
“Hi Yukio!” Wade skipped up the sidewalk to the door of the mansion, and embraced Yukio by the shoulders. They quickly kissed each other cheeks one at a time with smacking sounds in the air and Wade missed by a good few inches in his enthusiasm. She gave a little giggle as she pulled back. Her overwhelming wholesomeness was nearly enough to distract me from the very surly looking mutant behind her. Neg was looking very comfortable out of her uniform. On a scale from Jessican Stein to Ellen DeGeneres, I was amazed Artemis hadn’t recruited her to join her all girl biker gang.
“I see you’ve managed to make an appearance,” Negasonic Teenage Warhead (I valiantly avoided chanting her name at her) leaned against the doorframe with a little honest to gods smirk.
Blue box: Is she a 80’s feminist protagonist?
Yellow box: 90’s punk band lead singer?
White box: Actor in a school Anti-bullying campaign video?
Blue box: Bully or victim?
Yellow box: Cool kid who steps in and gives the tag line.
Blue box: Did you just call her cool?
Yellow box: Sh!
“Neg!” Wade said opening his arms for a hug. She raised an eyebrow at him. He responded to that clear lack of consent and held out a fist instead. She paused, then returned the bump. He jumped for joy. Literally. Got a good foot or more in the air of clearance. There may have been a squee.
Blue box: You’re adorkable. My little cutie.
“My sweet pea!” Wade bantered back, coming to grab my hand. “Yukio missed us! She sent a text and everything. We have the evidence screenshotted.” He pressed a hand to his heart. “And we will treasure it always.” Yukio laughed. He wasn’t joking: he was having it framed.
“You’re so silly Wade!” she teased him, to his obvious delight. We followed them into the mansion. I felt like Mr. Darcy was about to come striding down the corridor, white shirt still dripping. Yukio encouraged Wade to chat and laughed at his jokes, whether or not they were funny, which was so nice of her. Negasonic Teenage Warhead watched Yukio fondly, like the soft fluff ball she really was. Deep down. Maybe very deep down.
“Professor said you were here.” Logan interrupted the flow of conversation. We all turned to him. He had opted for no sleeves to day, to my immediate approval. They were really nice arms, sue me. He gave my cleavage a good long look, so it was only fair. Oogle and oogle alike.
“The Professor is a Nosy Nancy,” Wade retorted. “I am here for Yugio time.” Yugio set a dainty hand on his arm.
“Go see him, Wade,” Yugio encouraged. “You can meet us in the kitchen for fresh cookies and milk after!” Wade brightened. She was a fairy. That was the only reason I actually felt like I should see the Professor. There had to be a magic here. Some sort of cuteness overload affecting our senses?
“Chocolate chip caramel?” Wade whispered worshipfully, and with good reason. Yukio nodded solemnly. I bet she baked like the wind. Wade clapped and rubbed his hands together. “Let’s do this shit.” Logan chuckled and tilted his head for us to follow him. I swallowed, but followed.
Blue box: I think I might be sick.
"I told you not to eat that sixth taco." Wade reminded me teasingly. Logan took us through the winding maze of the mansion, and I was trying to stay calm.
"My thoughts are not pretty." I warned, biting my lip. He was going to see… things and stuff. Many things and stuff.
"And you think mine are sunshine and rainbows?" Logan said over his shoulder. I frowned at Logan's surprisingly helpful comment. Who knew he could be helpful with… feelings.
"I guarantee Baldie has heard worse." Wade piped in.
Blue box: I have detailed fanfiction porn starring him looping in my head right now.
White box: Eh. Sometimes we picture midget dungeon scat porn to see if he’ll crack.
"Its always disappointing." Wade added.
"I'll try." I promised. Poor guy must buy brain bleach in bulk.
Logan led us into a comfortably decorated office that looked like someone spilt 'authentic English' all over the place. There was a tea set laid out on an honest to goodness tea tray. I tried and failed to not imagine the butler and the maid having overly polite sex while saying 'heavens to betsy.'
"Welcome to The Mansion." The professor greeted. It felt like a capitalized word. Mansion. Capital place.
Blue box: I'm sorry for picturing porn about you.
*Don't worry.* the professor's voice spoke in my head. *Its not the first time.* his humor was so dry I needed a drink.
"Because you went to highschool." I said, thinking about horny teens.
White box: Because teenagers are horn dogs.
Yellow box: Everyone is a horn dog. Teenagers are just bad at hiding it.
Blue box: Unless your asexual.
"Valid." Wade said
White box: Yellow still hasn't bothered hiding it.
"I'm familiar with his antics." I agreed.
"Just like I told you, Professor." Logan said, sidetracking us. "Some sorta mind reading."
"Not quite," Professor X corrected. I wondered if I could call him Charlie. "The mental presence they both have is quite similar. Or similar wavelengths, if you will. Because of this, certain things can get through to each other. Like radio waves on the same channel, too close together." Like written messages. "I doubt they can access anyone else's thoughts. The amount of mental compatibility required is astounding." He paused. "I'd appreciate it if you would both give us a blood sample to test before you leave." I agreed. Wade shrugged.
Yellow box: We really are two peas in a pod.
Blue box: The Kirk to my Spock.
White box: The Spike to my Angel.
"That would be explosive." I pointed out.
Blue box: But hot.
"Exactly." Wade agreed.