Natasha is furious. In the next room, Maria is healing from what should have been a fatal gunshot wound to the abdomen. She doesn’t have all the details, but Maria had lost a significant amount of blood and had been almost dead when they got to her. The wound had been treated, but that hadn’t been the end of it. Shortly after the surgery, Maria got a high fever. Natasha took care of her and listened to her feverish ramblings all through the night. What she heard, she didn’t like at all. Maria’s fever broke a few hours ago and since then she’s been sleeping.
Natasha isn’t in it like she once was, but she still keeps an ear to the ground. She knows Maria needs her here, but she reached out and got people on the ground fast. Clint is her eyes on what was happening and that’s how she hears about Maria’s funeral. Just the thought has her choking back a sob. None of this is right.
She thought… she’s not sure what she thought. She remembers what Maria said after bringing her back.
“After saving the world numerous times and all the sacrifices we’ve made, I’m choosing to be a little selfish. I love you, Natasha and I’m not losing you to some rock. I can’t.” Maria had gone to Vormir and gave the stone back to the Red Skull in return for her. It’s not something she would have thought Maria would ever do, certainly not the Maria Hill she first met all those years ago.
“Nat?” The sound of Maria’s voice has her turning so fast she nearly falls over. Taking a deep breath, she heads to Maria’s side.
“Hey you” she says softly as she brushes a few sweaty hairs back from Maria’s forehead. Maria blinks at her a few times.
“You look angry. And worried.”
“Yeah, well, I’ve been worried about you.” Maria groans as she shifts a little.
“What’d I miss?” She hates that that’s Maria’s next question, but it’s out of habit.
“Your funeral. Your mother was there.”
“That’s a neat trick, but it’s not like they could have had my Dad there. You know why though. Misdirection has always been part of the game.”
“This isn’t a game, Maria! I nearly lost you and there wouldn’t have been a way to bring you back. They almost couldn’t.” Maria reaches out for her hand. Natasha sits down and takes her hand, reminding herself to keep her grip light. She wants to clutch it to her and hold Maria close. She needs the contact to remind herself that Maria’s really okay. Taking another deep breath, she slumps in her seat.
A few days ago Nick Fury had finally answered one of Maria's calls. The world was in crisis again. After years spent on a spaceship, he’d finally decided to come back. Not for Maria, but because Talos was the one who needed him. While he’d been gone, his usual job fell on Maria’s shoulders. Maria never wanted his job and didn’t know half of what she needed to do it properly, but she stepped up, she always would. She’d asked Maria, years ago, if she’d believed in Nick’s plan. The Avengers.
“Not at first. I did eventually though.”
“When?” She’d expected a well thought out answer from Maria. Maybe answer like Steve’s, who after working with her for four years only trusted her with his life during HYDRA’s return.
“New York. We’re all of you green in terms of working together? Yeah, but you guys made it work. You saved New York. I recorded the council giving the order to nuke New York and backed Nick when they interviewed me afterwards.” She remembers turning to look at Maria. “I always have questions, but I respect what he’s done and is trying to do.”
“Nat?” The former Black Widow turns to look at Maria.
“He hasn’t been the same after the Blip.” Maria gives her a half smile.
“None of us were. I wasn’t.” Natasha wants to smile back, but scowls instead. She’d seen the toll everything took on Maria. The Second in Command needed a minute after coming back too, but never got one. “After New York, I asked him why he thought you guys would come back. ‘Because we’ll need them to.’ That’s what this was.” Natasha gets back up and paces out her frustration.
“But he went AWOL and–!”
“Natasha, what did I miss?” The light tone is gone.
“Nick’s out. Rhodey fired him. I think he wanted to. Things have changed and Nick hasn’t been around to see it. He’s still finding his feet again and didn’t have near enough intel he should have going in. He walked the both of you into a trap and thousands were killed. You were nearly one of them. Now there’s a crisis on a global scale and he’s on his own.”
“He’s not. He has Talos and Sonya Falsworth is in the fight too.” Natasha’s eyebrows go up at that. Falsworth is serious and not the type to take things lightly. Looking over at Maria, she sees she’s lost in thought too. When it doesn’t pass, she frowns in concern.
“Hey, what is it?” Maria shakes her head.
“I’ve lost a few steps too. It's felt like that for a while. Even before the Blip. Going before the committees, that was something I was better suited for a long time ago, but then my place was by Nick’s side in the shadows. I lost my footing having to go between both roles.” Natasha sighs. They’d lost the element of secrecy when HYDRA reappeared. That was her decision, but Maria agrees it was the right call. Maria was protected from being thrown in some prison by Stark’s lawyers, but when it came to being in the field, her face was now known. “G’iah is even smaller than you are, but she slammed me into a wall.” That pulls her from her thoughts.
“She what?” Maria rolls her eyes.
“Relax. My point is, we need new fighters.” That has Natasha looking at her harder.
“This something you’ve been talking to Nick about?”
“And when would I have done that, Natasha?” Nat shakes her head clear. “I’ve been monitoring things, you know that. We’re down Avengers and you and Clint have more than done your part. You’re entitled to some peace.”
“Is that what we’ll be doing now? Keeping an eye out for new blood?”
“And keeping an ear to the ground. There’s no such thing as retirement for people like us.” Natasha scowls. “Who’d you get to get an eye on things? Bobbi? Clint? Barnes?”
“Clint. A woman named Elizabeth played your mom.” Maria looks away and Natasha tilts her head in question.
“She’s not my mom, but she looked after me. She was appointed my guardian and got my dad to sign away his parental rights. Not that he ever wanted them.” Maria's color is better and it has her sighing in relief.
“Let’s change your shirt.” Grabbing a new one from their packs and a body wipe, she carefully helps Maria sit up. She gently wipes Maria’s face and neck and then eases on her shirt.
“Where are we?”
“Croatia safe house. I’ll get you something to drink” She’s aware of Maria’s gaze while she gathers things.
“Nat, what’s wrong?”
“I’m just glad your fever broke.” Maria takes a long drink.
“What did I say?” Natasha’s lips twitch. She should have known that Maria would figure it out.
“You said Nick shot you.” Maria sets down her cup.
“I thought it was him. Should have known it wasn’t. He waved to me and then as soon as he was close, he shot me. I didn’t even have my gun out. He smiled at me. Was going to shoot me again, but there was someone… I think it was Nick. Our Nick. Then… I couldn’t think. I was shaking. I think Nick was holding me? Does he know?”
Natasha remembers Nick telling them about Coulson’s Captain America cards being in his pocket when Loki killed him. “No. And he’ll need the push.” Maria rubs at her face.
“So what’s next?” Natasha sits on the edge of the bed and takes her hand again.
“We sit this one out and you focus on healing up.” Maria nods. Natasha smirks a little. “It’s going to take a while. We’re doing this the old fashion way. No Bruce or Dr Cho or special tech. Can’t risk anyone knowing you’re here.” Maria sighs dejectedly. Neither one of them are very good at waiting. Natasha grins. “I brought a chess set if you’re up for it later.” She notices Maria’s eyes already starting to droop.
“Just happened to pack one?” asks Maria as she gets comfortable.
“Gotta have options. After days in a vent with Barton, I’m tired of tic tac toe and hangman. Snagged a deck of cards too.” Maria hums and starts to drift. Natasha presses a gentle kiss to her forehead.
There's always going to be a new crisis, but Maria's right, they've done their part. She hasn't been the same since coming back either. As angry as she is at Nick right now, she's also worried. She glances at Maria again and makes herself comfortable in the high back chair next to the bed. For now, the best thing the both of them can do is sleep.