Sam watched smiling as Bucky, AJ and Cass played together, it felt so good to see them like this. Bucky's hair was messy from wind and games, but he had an easy smile that Sam felt could put anything in order. Including the mess of Sam's feelings because, as those smiles began to become more frequent and genuine, Captain America had no choice but to accept that he had fallen in love with Bucky Barnes. He couldn't tell when it had happened, only that he had, and it wasn't surprising.
Sam knew that Bucky's insides were in chaos, how could he not be after everything he had been through? Kidnapping, torture, brainwashing, cryogenization, loss of his identity, his memories and who he was to turn him into a weapon, force him to commit terrible crimes, kill... It was too much, just one of those things would be too much for anyone and Bucky had suffered them all for years, thinking about it made Sam's stomach contract and his eyes moisten most of the time, others, however, he was filled with so much rage that he had to clench his fists not to hit anything. It was not fair everything that Bucky had had to go through and Sam knew that those experiences were still inside him causing from time to time chaos inside him through memories at the most unexpected moments, changes in mood, nightmares ... However, among all that chaos there was also beauty, so much beauty that it had been impossible for Sam not to fall in love with it because, despite everything bad, Bucky was always willing to help, he played with Sam's nephews, he got excited about the little things, he smiled and lit up Sam's world. Bucky was still someone good, someone strong, someone who fought to make things right and for the world to be a better place, someone who had tried to redeem himself for the sins that others had committed. Bucky was simply admirable. Chaotic and beautiful inside and out.
Sam would have laughed, if when they met someone had told him that she would fall in love with that man. Their relationship had not started in the best way and he recognized that it had been entirely his fault that, although angry about what the winter soldier had done, he had been an asshole and had not treated Bucky in the best way.
Yes, Sam had hated the Winter Soldier. Hating the Soldier had been as easy and natural as loving Bucky.
The winter soldier had ripped the steering wheel off Sam's car, while Bucky had helped him repair his family's boat; The soldier had broken his wings. Bucky, on the other hand, had gotten him new wings, with suit included, when Walker broke them a few months ago; the soldier had beaten and pushed him across a room, Bucky had fought beside him, protected him and even taken beatings for him; the soldier had given him nightmares and Bucky made him daydream; when the soldier was leaving and felt that his only option was to flee, he had had Sam two years chasing him around the world and away from his family, Bucky was there, in Louisiana with him and his family; the soldier was darkness and Bucky a light that shone brighter and brighter; the soldier tried to kill him, Bucky saved his life so... Yes, Sam had hated the Winter Soldier, but Sam loved Bucky Barnes, as chaotic as his hair and as beautiful as his smile, even more than he had hated the soldier, more than he had loved anyone in his entire life, and his feelings, as Bucky was, felt chaotic, but beautiful Who could blame him for loving him?