Chapter 1
3 April 2023 12:08 am
Stantheman: hey wanna hook up?
Fantastick: what the a c t u a l fuck.
Stantheman: what?
Fantastick: I open my phone and this is what I see?
Stantheman: well, I’m free
Fantastick: do I know you?
Stantheman: yea. Do you seriously not remember :(
Fantastick: please stay away. I have a weapon.
Stantheman: wjat? A grenade?
Fantastick: BRO BE FR DO YOU HAVE CAMERAS?
Stantheman: what is it actually a grenade?
Fantastick: no bitch.
Stantheman: oh
Fantastick: you real desperate.
Stantheman: like I get it, we were highly intoxicated but you don’t remember me?
Fantastick: I don’t drink.
Stantheman: ye you do.
Fantastick: no I don’t
Stantheman: well then how do I have your snap?
Fantastick: I’m guessing ur an easy target for pranks?
Stantheman: I am not :(
Fantastick: fine I’ll hook up with you.
Stantheman: really?!?!??!
Fantastick: see? You’re an easy target for pranks.
Stantheman: that just hurt :(
Fantastick: I promise I’m not who u think I am.
Stantheman: do you know anyone called Kenny?
Fantastick: McCormick?
Stantheman: yea actually
Fantastick: yea I know the bastard.
Stantheman: you sure you ain’t him?
Fantastick: I’m sure
Stantheman: why the hell did he give me your number?
Fantastick: because he’s poor and doesn’t have a phone xx
Stantheman: so if you know Kenny, I probably know you!
Fantastick: I doubt it. Stan marsh.
Stantheman: WGAT 😨
Fantastick: I’m a hacker.
Stantheman: no be so fr how do you know?
Fantastick: well, according to my calculations,
Stantheman: ‘well according to my calculations,’ 🤓
Fantastick: YOU MOTHERFUCKING MARSHMELLOW, IM GOING TO BEAT YOU TO A PULP AND BURY YOU ALIVE, WORMS ARE GONNA COME AND EAT YOU BODY AND NO ONE WILL HEAR YOUR SCREAMS. AND NO, IT WON’T BE A QUICK DEATH, IT WILL BE SLOW AND AGONIZING AND THEN I WILL DIG YOU BACK UP AND SKIN YOU ALIVE AND WEAR YOU AS A COAT.
Stantheman: wow, kinky.
IM KIDDING PLEASE DONT KILL ME.
Fantastick: I’m fighting the desire to…
Stantheman: anyways, what are your calculations?
Fantastick: well your name is ‘Stan the man’ so that means your name is Stan and you know Kenny and I only know one Stan who’s friends with Kenny.
Stantheman: with that logic your name would be ‘Fanta stick?’
Fantastick: first of all that grammar is shocking, second of all it’s ‘fantastic K’.
Stantheman: whatever Fanta stick.
Fantastick: also I asked Kenny who you were.
Stantheman: SMART! He will know who you are.
…
Stantheman: WHY DID YOU GIVE ME A RANDOM NUMBER?
Thatpoormanrizz: first of all, HOW ON EARTH DID YOU GET MY REAL NUMBER?!?! Second of all, you need to hook up with someone.
Stantheman: I have my ways. ALSO I WAS GOING TO BUT HE DONT WANT?!,!
Thatpoormanrizz: make him want. Simple.
Stantheman: WHO IS HE?
Thatpoormanrizz: 🤫
…
Fantastick: Kenny. THE FUCK? Why did you give Stan marsh of all people my number?
Thatpoormanrizz: Kyle you need to hook up with someone, get that sand out of your vagina.
Fantastick: fuck you 🖕🏻
Thatpoormanrizz: wow… never knew someone would betray me like that homie.
Fantastick:…
Duck you 😒
…
3 April 2023 8:06 am
Stantheman: desiring a man’s touch 😍
Fantastick: sometimes I wonder why I don’t unalive myself
Stantheman: silent repost.
Fantastick: stfu. Anyways I can’t talk I’m getting McDonald’s with my sibling.
Stantheman: AHA! I know who you are.
Fantastick: who am I?
Stantheman: well, with my amazing detective skills, I figured you had to be someone in the main group.
Fantastick: ‘the main group’?
Stantheman: well yknow, my gang, Craig’s gang and the girls.
Fantastick: how do you know I go to your school?
Stantheman: well I don’t…
Fantastick: so..? You gonna search the whole of South Park to find me?
Stantheman: AHA! So you live in south park.
Fantastick: I could just be throwing you off the scent.
Stantheman: wanna see my list of who you could be 😌
Fantastick: why not?
Stantheman: LIST OF WHO FANTA STICK COULD BE:
Craig
Why not?: got his number
Tweek
Why not?: dating Craig (wouldn’t flirt)
Jimmy
Timmy
Cartman
Why not?: he doesn’t have siblings?!? (Except for the one he fed his dad to)
Stan
Why not?: that’s me!?!?!
Kenny
Why not?: got his number.
Kyle
Token
Nichole
Red
Wendy
Why not?: got her number
Bebe
Heidi
Fantastick: to be fair, I’m on that list
Stantheman: I’m so big brain.
Fantastick: you’re actually not, i was lying.
Stantheman: no you are.
Fantastick: no I’m not.
Stantheman: oh wait brb
Read 8:34
4 April 2023 11:34 am
Fantastick: are you ever going to be right back?
Stantheman: omg.
Fantastick: what.
Stantheman: were you waiting for me 😍
Fantastick: no
Stantheman: ☹️
Fantastick: knock knock
Stantheman: who’s there?
Fantastick: when where
Stantheman: when where who
Fantastick: tonight, 8pm, tokens house, me and u
Stantheman: okay but you 🔛🔝
Fantastick: I see what you did there
Stantheman: are you actually going to tokens party then?
Fantastick: up baby
Stantheman: what’s up baby?
Fantastick: nothing much, wbu darling?
Stantheman: bro got that funny rizz (I’m in love with you)
Fantastick: comin on a little strongly there bud…
Stantheman: so are you going to tokens
Fantastick: yea probs… I got an invite
Stantheman: AHA!
LIST OF WHO FANTA STICK COULD BE:
Craig
Why not?: got his number
Tweek
Why not?: dating Craig (wouldn’t flirt)
Jimmy
Timmy
Cartman
Why not?: he doesn’t have siblings?!? (Except for the one he fed his dad to)
Stan
Why not?: that’s me!?!?!
Kenny
Why not?: got his number.
Kyle
Token
Why not?: it’s his house
Nichole
Why not?: boys only
Red
Why not?: boys only
Wendy
Why not?: got her number
Bebe
Why not?: boys only
Heidi
Why not?: boys only
Fantastick: I just realised it said wouldn’t flirt. I’m not flirting with you.
Stantheman: okay then 😕
Fantastick: wait gtg, see you tonight 🤯
Stantheman: cya
Read 11:49