The Beginning
"Peter?"
The man lifts himself up onto his elbows, though that task of itself seemed like a great strain to him. Miles could only watch in disbelief. He didn't think this was real, the dead can't come back to life can they?Judging by the look on the other mans face, he seemed to share the same sentiment.
"Kid, this is going to sound crazy but i'm pretty sure I was supposed to die.." Peter says with a steady voice. By now he had maneuvered himself upright against the wall. His lungs burned yet he couldn't make himself shut up. There was so much he needed to say, questions that lingered in the air.
"But somehow I'm here now." He said locking his blue eyes with the other boys hazel ones. The kid seemed shell shocked, but the moment he uttered those words it's like something within him woke up.
Miles felt tears welling up in his eyes, unable to hold himself back. All the pain he's felt these last few months, all the burden he's been carrying within him all came crashing back down. Soon the waterworks began. He felt the wetness on his cheeks but he couldn't process it in tandem with the sight in front of him. It was as if his mind was moving in a different frame rate than his body. His heart races in his ears, each thump lining up with each shaky inhale and exhale, with the drip of his leaky faucet, the tap of the branch against his window, other noises around him blending in like some dysfunctional orchestra. He wishes he could set himself free. He wishes he can feel that he's punished himself enough. Wishes he can free himself of the endless loop of being both torturee and torturer.
How is he alive? Miles desperately searches his brain for answers than he remembers, the artifact Pavitr gave to him. The strange symbols, the energy, the jolt he felt when he opened it. Was...was that the reason it brought Peter back? But that couldn't be possible, magic wasn't real. Maybe it was all just a dream. Miles tugged at his hair, trying to wake himself up yet when he forced himself to look through his own teary eyes, he found that he was still here.
Peter sensed the boys distress. He wished he could just throw himself at him and hold him in his arms. He observed the boy quietly, heart aching with the sight of his tears. How long has it been?
His hair is longer, how much has it grown? The dip of his cheekbones going more inwards, clearly lacking that certain baby fat that tugged at Peters heartstrings. He's taller now, more muscular and defined. He wasn't the tiny helpless child he recalls seeing not even a few minutes ago.
Has it been years? What about MJ and Aunt May? Did they move on from him too? The kid seems to be holding himself up somewhat well, but Peter knew better. He looks older, more exhausted. A certain grace in the way he moves that somebody his age shouldn't really posses. Dark circles and eye bags encircle his eyes. They've become barren, so dark and dull not like the doe eyed child Peter recalls seeing. The child who looked quite scared, yet had an air of innocence about him. This one in front of him, looks like he's lost it all. His eyes hold a flurry of emotions that Peter couldn't quite discern. How long has he been dead? Since this kids been left to be Spiderman all by himself?
So, So young.
He's just a kid, Peter reminds himself. He's just a kid but he's been through hell and back. Peter put him through hell and back.
However, Considering this world is still intact, it means he made it to the collider in time. Peter let's a sad smile grace his face. He wholeheartedly believed in him, and he knew he made the right choice. He eyes his suit and Peters heart swells, a rush of pride so potent he nearly loses all his senses. Soon enough he feels his own tears begin to pour.
The room was empty, save for the occasional sniffles and the sounds of their silent sobs. Peters heart breaks all over again because they should have made it, they almost did. Peter begged for time as he was about to die but being faced with it now broke him more than he could begin to imagine. The child in front of him, crumbling from the inside out, and Peter couldn't stop that. He couldn't help the kid because he just had to die. The tempest emotion inside of Peter is distant, becoming more and more difficult to connect with. His mind screams at him, This is not fair! Not fair! Not fair!
"Kid" Peter said through his silent cries. Miles looked up from where he was weeping in his hands.
Peter held out his arms in a silent invitation.
Miles paused for a moment, taking in the sight in front of him. The rest of the room faded, in that moment it was only him and Peter.
Than he soared.
Miles practically tackles himself onto the man, and when Peter wheezes he resorts to wrapping his arms around the man. Miles feels the other Spider-man bring his arms around him reciprocating the hug. He presses his face into Peters chest. He smells like blood, an awful reminder of what happened to him, but he smells like himself too.
Sandalwood and jasmine, Miles breathes it in. He's hoping he won't wake up anytime soon, because if this is a dream he wants to make sure he remembers it all. Miles has never been up close like this, with this Peter before but he never wants to let go now that he's made it. Miles is so overwhelmed with his emotions, nonsensical apologies spilling out of his mouth faster than he could close it.
"I'm so sorry Peter— I shouldn't have...It wasn't supposed to be you. It was all just a mistake, IM just a mistake. I wish I could take it all back, I didn't think— I didn't think it would kill you. I'm so, so sorry. It shouldn't have been you I'm so sorry—" Miles draws in a shaky inhale "I'm so sorry"
Peter has so many questions but the main one being, what in the hell is this kid is apologizing for? Peter brings his hand up to cradle the boys head and with the other arm still around his body, he squeezes him tightly, with all the strength he can muster. He doesn't know why he's apologizing for living, nobody should have to feel sorry about that. Peter wants to hold him in his arms forever, and never let go. A innate desire within him kindling watching this defenseless young Spider-man cry to him. Peter looks down at him sadly.
'What did they do to you?' He thought to himself.
Peter shushes the boy, raking his fingers through his hair. If Peter felt the knots, or saw the amount of hair that fell out than he didn't say anything about it.
"You're going to be okay" Peter says, and when the boy lifts his head up to look at him he cradled his face in his hands, and continues. "Don't be sorry, none of this was your fault, You hear me? This isn't your fault kid"
The boy seems to crumble even more at this. Peter holds his face up again.
"What's your name kiddo?" He asks him. Here the kid was, pouring his heart out to him in his arms and he doesn't even know his name.
"M-Miles. Miles Morales" He practically hiccups out.
Miles Morales huh?
"Miles, look at me" Peter says, and the kid— Miles, does so immediately "You're not a mistake, I don't know where you got that idea from but it's wrong okay? You..You look like such a accomplished kid and I just wish I could've been there to witness it all" He says earnestly. Peter can feel his throat ache, wanting to close up but he can't let it, he needs to get through to Miles.
As Peter lifted his hand up to brush it through his own hair he noticed the tips of his fingers suddenly going translucent. His eyes widened. No, No, No, This can't be happening—
"Peter what's going on? Why are your fingers clear?" Miles said his voice tinged with slight panic.
"I think I'm starting to disappear kiddo..." He replies solemnly.
Miles let's out a loud cry at that. This time he doesn't hold back. He throws himself at Peters' chest again. His whole body is shaking.
"No, No it's not fair" The kid weeps "Please, I just got you back..."
Miles feels himself breaking into pieces all over again. Here his Peter was alive and well, and now he's disappearing again. Ever since he died Miles has counted the days since than. He loved Spider-man so much, and to watch him die, killed a part of him too. He remembered Peter everyday. He always has a space somewhere in his sketchbook for Peter. Everytime he puts on the suit he always thinks of Peter. Miles dreamt of conversations he never got to have with Peter. When someone's gone forever, you keep them alive by their memory. Letting that go would be like a murder wouldn't it? Miles loved Spiderman so much but now that he was gone where was it all supposed to go? He couldn't get rid of it, he had to honor him. So he was stuck with all that love, stuck with the memories that came attached with it.
The other Peter is just so unbearably lonely. Miles thought he can pour some of that love he had left over from his Peter for this one, yet it didn't seem to work. There is a quiet echo that lingers around Peter B. Dragging itself behind him like a chain to his ankle, though Miles supposed he was the chain. The poison Miles so wished he could've said to the man
'Why did my Peter Parker die, just so I could end up being stuck with you?'
But of course he loved Peter B. too. The man grew on him as did Miles towards him. Yet a part of Miles still feels hollow, because now he has another Spider-man he could share his love with, but he's already used it all on his Peter.
And just like that, he's dying all over again.
Peter wants to cry. This isn't fair, it isn't fair at all. He thought he had time but here it goes, running out once more. He holds his arm out to hug the kid again but finds that it just goes right through him. Horrified doesn't even begin to describe the emotions that bubble inside of his head. Miles looks just as devastated as he is.
"This has to be some kind of sick joke.." Miles says before he breaks out into laughter "Miguel probably sent a copy of Peter just to mess with me, he just couldn't get enough couldn't he?"
Peter frowns as he listens to the kid ramble on. Peter knew he was sent here for a reason, no matter how twisted and cruel it may seem.
"What happened Miles?" Peter says, and that was enough to ignite everything.
One hour and a half. One hour and a half they sat on that floor together and they spoke. Peter grew more and more translucent by the minute but his attention was solely on Miles.
Miles tells him about being bitten. Tells him about his first day at Visions Academy, how he met a beautiful girl. God did he gush about that girl. He tells him about his spray painting journey with his Uncle Aaron. He tells Peter about how his Uncle Aaron was the prowler, tells him about how he watched him die. They joke, they tease, they cry but Peter feels his affection for this kid growing even more so.
Miles continues on and on, telling him how he met other Spidermen. How he found out about a secret Spider society, How he was chased by them. How he was attacked by Miguel O'Hara then by himself of all people. He tells Peter about his Fathers death and He listens. He tells him how he hurts himself, He absorbs every word Miles says to him.
Peter feels angry, a feeling he's trying to control but can't find himself to ignore. He dies and this kid is left all alone, even though there's so many more of them? There's hundreds if not thousands more of them but Miles is all alone? They chased Miles for wanting to save his father? They attacked him for doing what a Spider-man was supposed to do. Peter was beyond furious. Their future should've colorful and vibrant, crafted from the experiences they shared together. Instead they end up attacking a child? over what? What did they gain? Yet Miles was so kind, still so amazing. He holds. gentleness that comes not from an absence of violence but rather an abundance of it.
Miles tells him the good stuff as well. How he feels less lonely now that he knows he's not the only Spider-man, A sentiment Peter can deeply share with him. He tells him how one of the Spider-men didn't know his colors from his left & right, How another was a literal pig, One even had a machine. He tells him about a guitar wielding Spiderman and Miles can't stop gushing about how cool he is. Miles shows him his sketchbook and Peter is in awe of how talented Miles is. Miles has to turn the pages for him, a subtle reminder of how little time he has left.
Peter feels an air of lightness expose itself all over his body. He knows it's time.
"Miles.." Peter says attempting to move a piece of the boys hair back, when his fingers pass through, he drops his arm in defeat. A tear slides down his cheek despite his mental protest.
"I think it's time for me to go now" He says voice laced with sorrow. Miles' lips tremble as he holds back having another breakdown in front of the man.
"But if you go, you're going to die.." Miles says to him.
"I know Miles, I know but I don't think I was meant to be here long anyways" Peter replies. He's long accepted that he's going to die.
"Tell me" Peter requests, his voice misty "Tell me the most important thing before I go"
"You can't go" Miles replies frantically. Miles looks around his room desperately and his eyes land on a photo album. "Did you see my entire family? There's just so many of us and—"
"That's not how it works, Miles" Peter says cutting him off "I think you know that"
Miles face shifts into a frown and Peters mind instantly shifts to the image of that scared little child who just found out he had abilities. He sees parts of that boy in Miles but in front of him Peter can tell he's become something of a man now.
"When I was dying.." Peter starts before continuing "I thought of Mary Jane, and my Aunt May but I thought of you too Miles. All I could think of was, What if I had more time and I was given just that, I was given this last moment"
Miles blinks slowly than respond back "I thought, no I wished over and over about saving you in time. I thought what If I was there, I'll always feel that no matter what happens but.." He takes in a deep breath "But I think i'm going to be okay" There's a sort of nostalgia in his tone, a certain settlement within the way he says it.
It's the first time Miles ever assured himself that he was going to be okay. He hasn't felt it nor has he believed ever since his father died. Peter gave him the strength he so desperately needed.
Peter smiles though he can't quite feel his face. He hopes it looks as genuine as it feels. He sees an aura of light surrounding him but he couldn't really care to process it. Everything feels so distant, so painless. It's impression so strong, it's almost like magic. Though that's probably what brought him here if what Miles told him was any consolation.
"That's good..I'm so proud of you kid" Peter say, voice feeling hazy now. He blinks and now he can hardly see Miles.
"I'm never going to forget you, I swear I won't Peter" Miles says earnestly. When Peter opens his eyes he doesn't see Miles in his suit of black and red but rather the younger him he just had saved. He chuckles to himself.
"Good. Keep me alive in your heart, in your morals, and in your destiny" Peter says his gaze slowly drifting.
"I will" Miles says wetly.
"I love you kid" Peter says and he means it. Miles has grown beyond him and that's why this moment is enough. Peter doesn't need to stay, he knows the kid will be alright, he's sure of it now. Miles didn't need him to show him the ropes, he already has quite the grip on it.
The darkness begins to creep into his vision, in a nearly dizzying yet beautiful spectacle. Peter allows it, he has no more fight left within him. He basks in the darkness and falls back into it, a leap of faith. Everything feels so light now. He wonders if he can see MJ and Aunt May too. He hums to himself, everything is going to be alright now. He can rest now, his city is in good hands.
"I love you too Peter.." Miles whispers into the now empty room.
Miles wants to cry, to scream, to wail. He wanted to hit the walls, the floor, till the whole foundation collapses around him, just as his resolve felt. Nothing can prepare Miles for the catharsis that followed. Miles doesn't know how long he's been sitting alone on the floor. Has his mother come home by now? Has anyone noticed how long he's been gone?
As Miles gets up off the floor he feels like he's been tossed, turned and wrung dry.
This was all he needed, this was the closure he desperately needed.
His hands went to his watch, clicking buttons until he found the right one.
From the moment he became spider-man he dreamt of a life he could've been apart of him. He watched it from a distance, he wanted to be part of it but found it hard.
Miles clicked the button and listened to the ring of the line.
"Miles?" The familiar voice of Peter B. calls out "Is that really you? Where have you been? I've been so worried about you, Are you okay?"
Peter continues to throw dozens of more questions at him until he pauses
"Kiddo?"
Miles swallows the lump in his throat, and blinked his tears away. This was enough, this was all he needed.
"Hi Peter" Miles says, his voice cracking "I miss you"
Miles looks at where his Peter once was, the area covered in a sort of shimmery light. Miles ponders on it silently.
"I missed you too, I’ve missed you so, so much Kid" Peter replies and Miles swears he can hear the man crying.
Miles lets a genuine smile cross his face for the first time in a while.
Everything isn’t going to be instantly better but now Miles has a idea of where to go now.
He doesn’t feel all that hopeless anymore.