A Spider Bond Is Formed
“I just wanted to say thanks for doing this, whatever this is going to be. I know you must be really busy and you shouldn’t have to take time to train me because I’m not good enough. So yeah, thank you.”
Peter stood in front of Natasha, trying hard not to fidget and desperately thankful that he was in his full suit as he was sure his face was flaming red by now. She frowned a little at him but soon smoothed out her expression.
“I want to work on your form. The moves are good but your form itself is weak.”
“Okay, okay I can do that.”
“Right, take off the suit.”
“Take…but I fight in the suit?”
“Do you want to learn or not?”
Her sharp tone made Peter wince and he silently cursed as he felt the lump grow in his throat. Peter deactivated the suit, leaving him stood in a pair of sweats and a tank top.
“How old are you, kid?”
A wave of irritation washed over Peter. He wouldn’t stand being treated like a child just because he was younger than your average hero.
“15. Does it matter?”
If Natasha was surprised at his sudden coldness, she didn’t show it.
“No, I suppose it doesn’t. Now…hit me.”
“What if I hurt you?”
“As if you could.”
Well if that wasn’t a blow to his self-esteem, Peter didn’t know what was. He wasn’t sure if it was a slight against his strength or his reflexes, but he still didn’t like it. He mentally prepared himself, using the tips that Daredevil taught him. He studied Natasha who, at first glance, was stood in a relaxed stance. However, Peter could see the subtle tensing of her legs and the minute twitch in her left hand. Deciding to just go for it he launched his attack.
He delivered a punch straight towards her face, one he knew she would block, but swiftly followed it up with a kick towards her ribs, which he could tell surprised her, but she managed to block him again. He continued, whirling away from her counter strike, and did a quick step to the side and went for a round house kick. When she grabbed his leg, he was prepared. He shifted his weight and spun himself up, wrapping his other leg around her neck, and pulled, flipping her over the leg she was holding and onto the floor. Not wasting any time, he quickly pinned her legs with his arm. Peter paused. He had just successfully used one of her own moves against her. That was…unexpected. A second later he felt her relax in his hold, but he didn’t let her up. He wasn’t stupid enough to think that just because she wasn’t actively struggling it meant the fight was over. Deadpool had used this trick against him. The second Peter let his guard down he knew Natasha would attack him. So, he stayed alert, pinning her to the floor. He chanced a look at her face, not sure what he was expecting to see.
Surprise, no matter how subtle, was not what he was expecting at all. Anger, yes, irritation, probably. But not surprise.
“How’d you do that?”
“What do you mean?”
“Your balance was completely off, you shouldn’t have physically been able to pull that off. You shouldn’t even be able to do it in the first place, even if your balance was perfect.”
Peter shrugged. His body was weird. The spider bite had changed a lot of his physiology.
“Let me up.”
Peter analysed her for a second, making certain she would not attack him. Deciding to be on the safe side either way, he quickly flipped out of her range and stood three feet away, waiting for her to stand up.
“Where did you learn to do that?”
“The spider bite changed me. I didn’t so much as learn it as it just is now. I never really noticed my balance changed until I started training. Then I could do stuff that I struggled to do before. I think it’s the same reason my body can’t tell which way up is.”
“Not that. Although that is interesting. Where did you learn that flip?”
Peter struggled internally. Did he really want to admit he had learnt the flip, and many other moves in his repertoire, from obsessively watching Black Widow fighting compilations on YouTube? No, he didn’t. But he was going to have to. She would be able to tell if he lied.
“Uh, from you, I guess. I watch a lot of YouTube videos.”
“Why would you do that?”
Peter didn’t understand why she was confused. Until recently, Peter didn’t have tech to rely on. Natasha was clearly the best at hand-to-hand combat, who else should he emulate if not her?
“Well, ‘cause you’re the best? All I had was a handmade spandex suit, no tech. I needed to learn how to defend myself. And you’re obviously the best at hand-to-hand combat, anyone with eyes knows that. Plus, you’re like, pretty cool, y’know? I saw you on the news when you guys saved New York in 2012. All the other Avengers are enhanced, except Hawkeye. And you were right in the middle of the action, keeping up with everyone else. I thought that was amazing; I wanted to be like that. You looked so fearless, and you always got back up. I got bullied a lot when I was a kid because of my asthma and my glasses, and I thought that if you could keep getting back up after being knocked down by something bigger and scarier than you then I could do it too. Plus, I’ve always been flexible, I used to do ballet as a kid, so it was fun to try and copy your moves. I couldn’t get most of them properly until the spider bit me though.”
Peter took a deep breath. That was more information than she had asked for. But he wasn’t finished.
“Iron Man might’ve saved my life but you’re the one that made me wanna do something good with my life. You’re my hero.”
Peter’s gaze held firm as he spoke, looking directly into her eyes. He wanted her to know he was serious about this. It wasn’t a game to him; he hadn’t decided to become a vigilante on a whim; this meant something to him. Because of Natasha, it meant something to him.
“I shouldn’t be. I’ve done a lot of bad things in my life. I shouldn’t be someone you look up to.”
“I know what you’ve done, I read the SHIELD files. And it’s not that it doesn’t matter to me, because it’s part of who you are, but it’s not all you are.”
“I…You’ve read the SHIELD files? All of them?”
Peter nodded.
“Mhmm, and the HYDRA files. I cracked them a while ago, the night I got my powers. It wasn’t too hard.”
Peter had actually managed to make her speechless.
“I just wanted to know more. I didn’t even know your real name until the leak. We all just called you Black Widow, which got annoying after a while.”
Natasha narrowed her eyes at him.
“And what is my real name?”
Peter smirked a little, figuring this was a test.
“Officially, it’s Natasha Romanov.”
“And unofficially?”
“Natalia Alianovna Romanova.”
Peter made sure to pronounce it correctly. He had been using Duolingo to learn Russian; he thought it was probably a good idea to know the language, since all the bad guys seemed to be Russian. He was getting pretty good at it too, he could hold a fluent conversation now, although some of the nuances of the language escaped him still.
“So, you know everything?”
“Everything that’s in the files, yeah.”
“And you don’t think I’m…awful?”
Peter frowned.
“Of course not? Mr Stark literally used to sell weapons to terrorists. Captain America tried to kill Mr Stark for no reason. Everyone’s done bad stuff in their life, some worse than others. I just think it’s what you do after the bad stuff that matters. Uncle Ben used to say that doing good is fine but being good is what matters. You are good, even if you weren’t an Avenger, or a SHIELD agent. Even you just decided to move to Ohio and be a crazy cat lady, you would still be good. If you do good things just to make you feel good, then it’s self-serving. But if you do good because it’s the right thing to do, like me and you, then that’s what matters.”
Oh no.
Her eyes were watering. Peter didn’t mean to make her cry.
“I…Sorry, that wasn’t supposed to make you upset. You asked so I thought I should be honest.”
“I’m not upset. Not really. Not a lot of people see things the way you do. You’re a good person, Peter.”
She gave him a watery smile before swiping her fingers under her eyes and shaking her head.
“Now, show me what else you can do.”
Things were different after that. Peter felt that her opinion of him had changed for the better. She didn’t see him as a kid playing pretend anymore. They both took training very seriously over the next few months. Peter greatly enjoyed getting the drop on Natasha; with his stance and balance she couldn’t always predict what his next move was going to be which made sparring very interesting for the both of them. They trained almost every day that Peter wasn’t in the lab with Mr Stark. Peter didn’t see her much outside of training, however. She disappeared soon after they were done, and she always arrived at the gym a few seconds after Peter did. Of course, he always asked if she wanted to eat with him after training, but she declined every time saying she had things to do. Peter didn’t get upset about it; he knew that she was in some kind of legal trouble because of Berlin, and she probably had lots of other things to do as well. One day, she held him back after training.
“I’m gonna be gone for the next couple of weeks. I need to check a couple of things at my safe houses. I want you to keep training, okay? Don’t just spar, do some running and weights as well. I’ll be able to tell if you don’t. And I want you to call me if anything happens on patrol, and if you don’t, I will find a way to kick your ass from halfway across the world. You got that?”
Peter nodded.
“Mhmm. Will you call me, too? If anything happens. I can get Mr Stark to help you.”
“I promise, pauchok.”
Peter smiled. Recently Nat had taken to calling him spiderling, or sometimes baby spider if he was sad. He liked it, it made him feel safe and loved. He threw his arms round her and buried his face in her shoulder, wanting to soak up her presence as much as he could before she was gone for two weeks.
“I’m gonna miss you, mama pauk.”
Peter smiled to himself as he heard Natasha’s heart speed up a little at his words. He had been on the fence about using the Russian nickname for a few weeks now. He wasn’t sure how Natasha would react to it and didn’t want to accidentally overstep any boundaries. But, the more he thought about it the more he thought he should just go for it. Discounting May, because she was his aunt, Natasha was the closest thing to a mother Peter could ever remember having. Natasha taught him how to look after himself, and she listened to him when he had a rough day at school, and she made sure he was okay when he went into sensory overload. That sounded like a mom to Peter.
“Pyotr…”
Peter grinned as he felt Natasha press a soft kiss to the top of his head. He really was going to miss her for the next few weeks.
******
“Guess what?”
Peter was on the phone to Natasha, who was somewhere in Budapest, apparently.
“What is it, pauchok?”
“My webs came in! My real ones, I mean. They’re a bit hit and miss but now that they actually work it won’t be long until I can use them all the time! Isn’t that great?”
Peter was twisting his wrist around, looking at the spinnerets that had finally finished growing. He had discovered the working webs when he had slipped on his way into the kitchen for breakfast and, upon throwing his hand out to catch himself on the counter, had accidentally shot an organic web halfway across the room.
“Peter, that’s great! Don’t strain yourself too hard, okay? Make sure you’re definitely ready to use them before you start doing it on patrol.”
Peter was about to reply that he was being safe when he heard a faint “eto kto?” from the other end of the phone.
“Who are you with, mama pauk? Can I say hi?”
A sigh, not good.
“It’s complicated, something came up at one of my safe houses. I’ll introduce you at some point. I have to go, for now, but I should be back in a week, two tops. Stay safe.”
“I will, lyublyu tebya.”
Peter immediately hung up the phone. He hadn’t said that to Nat before and he didn’t want to hear if she reacted negatively.
6/4/16
Peter 2:43am
are you okay? I saw you some footage of a car wreck you were in
Peter 5:03am
Nat? please it’s been hours
Peter 12:22pm
did you really just break someone out of prison in a helicopter???
Peter 3:51pm
I was tracking your phone illegally and now I can’t see it where did you go?
Peter 10:30pm
I asked Karen to track you and she said youre in Russia but she can’t find you. please just let me know you’re okay.
7/4/16
Peter 1:12am
I will come to russia and find you myself.
you told me to call you if anything happened
you promised you would do the same
where are you Natasha?
8/4/16
Peter 5:34am
THE RED ROOM?! YOU TOOK DOWNR HT ESJFUCKING RED ROOM!!!
NATASHA WAHT THE FUCK
YOU SAID YOU WOULD CALL
ARE YOU OKAY?
YOU FELL OUT TEH FUCKIMF SKY WHAT TTEH FUCK
IM SO MAD AT YOU
10/4/16
Peter 7:02am
Natasha please are you alright?
Я не могу больше никого потерять, мама паук
Peter stared helplessly at his phone, begging those three little dots to appear. He had been using the dark web and many other illegal things to track Natasha across the globe after the car wreck footage had appeared on a fan run Avengers tracking website. Peter had quickly figured out that Secretary Ross was tailing her and had used his skills to hack into some of the government equipment. He had used one of Mr Stark’s satellites to watch her break a man out of prison using what he was sure was a stolen helicopter, he followed the helicopter to Russia to what appeared to be a farm. At that point, Peter could no longer track her phone, it was as if any trace of it disappeared. Similarly, he could not get a clear view of the farm; it was as if someone had somehow placed fog in front of the satellite whenever he tried to get it to focus on the farm. After that, things got a little sketchy. Peter had to rely on a combination of listening to Ross and his team and a bit of his own intuition. He had been completely blind until suddenly there was what seemed to be an entire building falling apart in the sky. Peter didn’t know how but it had somehow been completely shielded from everyone and everything, he could still hear the echo of Ross’ surprised shout at the sight of it.
Peter focussed in on the falling debris, trying to figure out what happened. From one end of the falling platform, Peter saw dozens of girls jumping, free falling towards the ground. What was going on? On the opposite end, Peter watched with interest as a blonde woman threw something into one of the engines and was immediately thrown backwards with the force of the explosion. Horror filled Peter as she careered towards the ground with no parachute, but then, yes! It was Natasha, Peter sighed in relief as Nat grabbed hold of the other woman and pulled a parachute. Good, she would be safe. Peter tuned back into the devices he had listening to Ross.
“Sir, it seems they’ve all got the widow symbol. What should we do with them?”
“Leave them. It’s her I’m after.”
Peter realised with a start that Ross was talking about the girls he had seen jumping from the platform. If they were widows, then that meant…
“Natasha, what the fuck?”
Peter spoke at the screen, mumbling under his breath about broken promises and irresponsible adults as he manoeuvred the satellite to get a better view of the girls, who were now piling into a jet that had somehow survived falling out of the sky; perhaps someone was flying it and he just hadn’t noticed. He quickly refocussed his attention on Natasha and the mystery woman, horror mounting within him as he saw their parachute failing. They were now speeding towards the ground, no help in site. Peter didn’t know if he could watch. He violently slammed the lid of his laptop closed; he couldn’t bear to watch his friend crash into the ground at that speed. He grabbed his phone and crawled up the wall to the nest he had made from his organic webs, shooting off a few angry messages to Natasha in the hope that she would reply.
It had been over 24 hours since then and not a message in sight. He had sent one last desperate message but wasn’t holding out hope. He hadn’t even moved, still curled up in his nest in two-day-old clothes and sweat-soaked from the multiple panic attacks that had seized him during the night. He didn’t know what he would do without Natasha. He had come to rely on her, she helped him be a better person and was a source of great comfort in his life. Peter had already lost so many people in his short life; he honestly didn’t think he could bear the pain of losing yet another person he loved.
Peter thought he should probably text Aunt May but the thought of talking to another person was so overwhelming. Peter knew that either Karen or FRIDAY would send a message to Aunt May on his behalf. He had set up a protocol so that if he went more than 36 hours without texting May, one of the AIs would send a message as him telling her that he had just gotten caught up in the lab and that he was either just waking up or just going to bed depending on the time of day. Peter knew it was bad to lie to May but he didn’t want her to worry more than she had to.
Tony and Pepper had had to fly to Malibu unexpectedly the day before so Peter was alone in the tower. As the hours ticked by, Peter grew more and more despondent as his texts remained unanswered and FRIDAY had no news on any sightings of Natasha. Peter dozed on and off for the next four hours, a combination of not having slept in at least 48 hours and regularly overthinking himself into a panic attack. He never slept for long, his nightmares filled with the same image of Natasha falling towards the ground over and over again.
Peter wasn’t sure how long he stay curled up. FRIDAY gave him updates every day and he had a vague memory of hearing her say he hadn’t eaten in four days, but everything was starting to get hazy. He remembered getting a text from Tony saying he would be stuck in Malibu for two weeks, but Peter didn’t remember how long ago that had been since then. Peter wasn’t sure what to do. He knew he should get up, tidy his room and eat something, maybe have some water. But he just didn’t have the energy. He didn’t see the point anymore. His phone had long ago run out of charge, but he didn’t want to charge it up just to stare at the unanswered texts he had left. He didn’t want to do anything. He just wanted to stay curled up in his nest. It was safe there. Nothing could bother him there, tucked up safely in his web.
A while later, Peter wasn’t sure how long, he was awoken by a noise. He blinked, barely able to force his eyes to stay open as he tried to figure out where the sound was coming from. He knew he should be alone in the compound, and therefore ought to be more alarmed by a mysterious noise, but he just couldn’t bring himself to care. He strained his ears, but the lack of food in his system meant that his powers weren’t working as well as they should’ve been. It sounded like someone was in the kitchen, based on the sound of cutlery he could faintly hear, but Peter couldn’t hear the person’s heartbeat, or their voice, or the sound of their footsteps. Perhaps he should drag himself out of his nest. He was the only one here, if it was an intruder he wanted to at least put up a fight so Mr Stark wouldn’t be mad at him if the place got robbed.
Ever so slowly, Peter slid from his nest, using a strand of web to lower himself to the floor. He walked to the door and listened carefully. The person was still in the kitchen. Peter pulled the door open, only wide enough for him to slip through, and crawled up the wall and onto the ceiling. Whoever it was would not expect an attack from the ceiling, and that would give Peter the edge he needed to win a confrontation in his weakened state. He blinked rapidly, clearly the spots from his vision. Perhaps he would eat something after, even though he wasn’t hungry. If his powers were weakened enough that his vision was spotting then he definitely needed some food. He crawled along the ceiling, his thoughts blurring into a mess as he tried to stay conscious. He barely remembered to stop just outside the kitchen doorway, listening again.
He could hear a heartbeat now. It sounded familiar and Peter’s subconscious associated it with safety, but he couldn’t think of who it belonged to. Maybe Mr Stark was back and it really had been two weeks already. Peter shook his head, trying to clear the dizziness that has been permanently present for the last however many days. He needed to focus. He didn’t feel threatened, and his spidey sense wasn’t tingling, so whoever was in the kitchen wasn’t an intruder, probably. Seeing no other choice, he dropped down from the ceiling, stumbling slightly.
“Peter?”
Peter froze, he knew that voice. It sounded like Natasha. But that was impossible, he had seen her fall out of the sky.
“Pyotr? You can come out, it’s just me.”
That was definitely Natasha. Peter’s exhausted mind couldn’t make sense of what he was hearing. He staggered into the kitchen, needing to see her with his own eyes to believe she was actually there.
“Peter! What happened to you?”
Peter didn’t understand. Nothing had happened to him. He hadn’t been anywhere in days, maybe even weeks.
“Whaa?”
Peter felt dim surprise at the faintness of his voice. Why wasn’t his voice working properly?
“You need to sit down. FRIDAY, what’s wrong with Peter?”
Peter obeyed without thinking, collapsing onto the floor where he was.
“Peter is severely malnourished and dehydrated. His last meal was 10 days ago, and he last drank water 6 days ago. He is also exhausted, he last slept five days ago. I believe he has only survived this long because of his mutation.”
“What! Why? FRI, where’s Tony?”
“Boss is currently in Malibu with Pepper. Peter’s current condition is due to a combination of stress and grief.”
“Grief? Is May okay?”
“Ms Parker is fine.”
Peter barely registered the conversation going on above him, still trying to process the fact that Natasha was alive in front of him.
“Miss Romanoff, I feel it is prudent to inform you that Peter believed you to be dead, after watching footage of you free falling over Russia. He has been almost catatonic since.”
“Oh…Peter. Can you look at me?”
Peter lifted his head, which had suddenly become both very heavy and light at the same time. Natasha was crouched in front of him, when had she moved?
“Come on, we’re going to the medbay.”
Peter hummed and made to stand up.
****
Beep…beep…beep…beep.
What was that noise? Was something in the lab malfunctioning?
Beep…beep…beep…beep.
No, that was a hospital noise. Why was he in the hospital? Peter focused his senses. Beyond the beeping, he could hear someone breathing in the same room as him, near the bed. His spidey sense wasn’t going off, so it wasn’t an enemy.
Beep…beep…beep…beep.
Did he lose a fight? Or hurt himself being Spiderman? No, that wasn’t right. He hadn’t been Spidermanning in a few days. What was the last thing he remembered? He was in his room, on his laptop. What had he been doing? Hacking? Yes, that was right. He had hacked a satellite. What for, though?
Beep…beep…beep…beep.
He was watching Natasha. That’s right, he had hacked into Ross’ satellites to watch Natasha take down the Red Room. So why was he in hospital?
Beep…beep…beep…beep.
Oh. Oh. That’s right. Natasha had fallen from the floating building with no parachute. It was coming back to him now. He’d heard something in the kitchen. Was it Natasha? It can’t have been, she was dead. He must’ve been hallucinating.
Beep…beep…beep…beep beep beep beep.
“Peter? Peter! Come on, Peter, wake up. You can do it.”
That sounded like Natasha. Focusing his senses again, Peter listened. A heartbeat! It definitely sounded like Natasha. Peter cracked his eyes open, turning his head slightly to look at whoever was next to him. He squinted against the bright light but made out Natasha’s distinctive red hair.
“Peter! You’re okay, you’re okay.”
There were hands on him. Natasha’s. Smoothing his hair down, holding one of his hands.
“‘Tasha?”
“Yeah, Peter. It’s me. You scared me for a second there, collapsing like that.”
That sparked something in Peter’s memory; he had collapsed in the kitchen after Natasha told him they were going to the medbay.
“You’re dead. This can’t be real.”
A sob greeted Peter’s statement.
“I’m not dead, pauchok. A little bruised, maybe, but definitely not dead.”
“But I saw…you fell out of the sky with that other widow. Your chute broke.”
Peter was so confused.
“We caught a ride on some debris, we were fine. You, however, were not. You need to look after yourself, Peter.”
“You didn’t answer my texts, though. I tried to call you!”
Peter could feel his breath catching in his throat as he relived the panic of not being able to contact Natasha.
“My phone broke when I hit the ground. I haven’t had a chance to get a new one yet. FRIDAY told me you stopped eating, stopped drinking. Why?”
“You died. I didn’t…I’ve already lost too many people.”
Natasha sighed and ran her hand through his hair again. Peter’s eyes fluttered at the action.
“You’ve lost so much weight, pauchok. You’re hooked up to an IV, it’s giving you special super solider nutrients to help you recover faster.”
Peter glanced at his arm, only just noticing the needle in the crook of his elbow. He also became aware that all he was wearing was a hospital gown.
“Am I allowed to have a shower? I feel gross.”
Natasha smiled and ran her hand through his hair again, seemingly unconcerned with the grease coating it.
“You can do whatever you want, if you let me help you.”
Peter nodded.
“That’s fair.”
Natasha nodded and stood up.
“Come on. You should be okay to shower with the IV, as long as you’re careful. Let me help you up.”
Peter sat, somewhat surprised at how weak he felt. He swung his legs over the side of the bed, noticing immediately how thin they were. He could see his knees protruding, could see every tendon as he flexed his legs slightly.
Natasha wrapped an arm around his waist, helping him stand. She had been right, he definitely needed help to do this. With Natasha’s arm around his waist, he became starkly aware of just how thin he was. His spine was pressing almost painfully into Natasha’s arm, and he could feel his skin stretched over his ribs. Luckily, the bathroom wasn’t very far away.
Showering was awkward. He had to keep his arm almost completely extended because of the IV. And he was naked. In front of Natasha. Not ideal, but he wouldn’t complain. She didn’t look, but that didn’t stop him feeling self-conscious. At least there was a chair to sit on, letting him preserve what little dignity he had left. Natasha washed his hair for him, and he relished the feeling. Her nails scratched lightly at his scalp, sending tingles all over his head. She left to get him some clothes, and Peter took the opportunity to inspect himself in the mirror.
He looked horrifying, to put it lightly. His cheekbones stuck out, adding a sharpness to his face where his baby fat should’ve been. His eyes were sunken, dark bags that seemed to cover half his face. He was so pale; Peter’s eyes mapped out his veins, idly thinking that they looked a little like spiderwebs patterned across his face and body.
“Right. Once you’re dressed, we can leave the medbay and go back upstairs. For bed rest only. If you stay off your feet for the next week you should be almost back to normal. You’re keeping the IV in, and eating three meals a day, and I don’t want to hear any arguments.”
Peter nodded, knowing better than to say anything. Not that he would’ve contested anyway.
By the end of the week, Peter was pretty much back to normal. Still a little bit on the thin side, and his organic webs weren’t working, but if anyone saw him, they would just assume he’d had the flu for a few days.
Natasha had been amazing. She cooked for him all the time and switched out his IV so he could keep getting super soldier nutrients. She’d also comforted him through his frequent nightmares. Every time he fell asleep all he could see was Natasha and the other woman careening towards the ground. Peter asked about her one day.
“Who is she?”
Natasha looked up from her paperwork.
“Who’s who?”
Peter huffed.
“The woman you were with when…you jumped after her. Who is she?”
Something flickered in Natasha’s eyes as she looked at Peter.
“Her name is Yelena. She’s another Widow. And…she’s also my sister.”
Peter’s eyes widened. He’d read the files about Natasha’s childhood mission in Ohio, how she’d had a pretend sister while she was there, he just hadn’t realised Natasha still considered her a sister.
“The one from Ohio?”
Natasha narrowed her eyes at him playfully.
“Sometimes I think you’re too smart for your own good.”
“So, what happened? How did you get back in contact with her?”
Natasha sighed.
“She contacted me, actually. While I was checking my safe houses, a package arrived. In it was a cure and half a photo strip, you know those ones you get from photo booths in malls. They were pictures Yelena and I took in Ohio, I gave her half when they took us.”
“Cure for what? Are you sick?”
Peter felt his breath hitch slightly, what he wouldn’t give for an effective inhaler with the amount of panic attacks he had.
“No, no, I’m fine. When I was part of the Red Room, they psychologically conditioned us, which I’m sure you read about in the SHIELD files. When I defected, Dreykov made it so nobody else had a chance to follow me. He developed a chemical form of mind control. Complete chemical subjugation, it’s vile. But a Widow like me, one who wasn’t mind controlled was secretly developing a cure. She got it to Yelena, who got it to me. You know what happened after that.”
Peter felt disgusted. Chemical subjugation, he couldn’t even imagine.
“Can I ask you something? You don’t have to answer.”
Natasha looked at him warily, and Peter already regretted opening his mouth.
“Why didn’t you go back and get her out?”
Natasha sighed. The kind of bone aching sigh Peter did whenever he thought about Uncle Ben.
“I wanted to. I almost did more than once. You know, of course, that my total acceptance to SHIELD relied on me taking down the Red Room. I asked them more than once to let me go and rescue Yelena. But they were scared I’d be pulled back in, forced to stay, if I somehow got caught. When Clint and I took down the Red Room, or tried to as it turned out, I convinced myself that Yelena and the rest of the Widows would’ve escaped, gotten out. I didn’t know about the mind control. After that, I tried to believe that if Yelena survived the Red Room, she wouldn’t want to see me anyway. I wasn’t good enough to save her from being taken, and then I abandoned her. I thought she would’ve hated me.”
Peter watched in despair as a single tear rolled down Natasha’s cheek. He stood and, carefully manoeuvring his IV stand, made his way over to Natasha and enveloped her in a hug.
“I’m sorry. But it’s better now, right? She doesn’t hate you?”
Natasha let out a watery chuckle and leant her head on Peter’s shoulder.
“No. She…she said she loves me. And I love her, so much. She’s one of the most important people in my life, next to you and Wanda. She’s travelling now, helping free the rest of the Widows. We’ve agreed to keep in regular contact, and she’ll stop in if she finds herself in New York.”
“I’m happy for you, mama pauk.”
“Me too, pauchok.”