Peter was angry. And disappointed. And sad.
But mostly angry.
No one really believed he was capable of saving people, no one really thought of him as a hero, Peter realized as he sat on the quinjet, looking down at the raging battle below him. He spotted Ironman, delivering multiple kicks and blasts to some of the robot's minions, next to Captain America, throwing his shield and hitting 4 robots without even sparing them a glance.
So what was going on? Why was Peter on the quinjet, watching?
You guessed it: Tony had benched him. Again. After the homecoming incident, the accords had been resolved and the Avengers became a team again with one new (kinda-not-really-official-) member; Spiderman. Except mr. Stark never let Peter fight; only if it was a mild threat.
And Peter hated it. He felt underestimated, embarrassed and unimportant; more like a bother than a real team member. The other Avengers had already been wary of letting Peter on their team, and it took a lot of time to gain their trust, but Peter had yet to gain their confidence in his fighting skills because he never had a chance to prove himself. He felt like mr. Stark only let him be an Avenger out of pity.
And he hated it. He was mad about it all: his suit with all its ridiculous protocols, Tony who didn't believe in him, the Avengers who still looked at him like he was a helpless child and most of all; these moments. Moments that he was sitting in the quinjet, fully suited up for if he was needed while he knew that even if the world was fucking ending; they wouldn't call him in. They just didn't trust him, and it made Peter feel so unwanted. It made him feel so worthless. Was helping cats out of trees really all he was good for?
He hated that he was starting to think of himself like that, and he was angry at the Avengers for making him think that way.
Apparently, somewhere during his sulking, the Avengers had managed to beat the robot and its army and right now, they were loading back into the jet, which had been parked on a high rise. His realizations had really ruined his mood, and instead of asking how the mission had gone like he usually did, Peter pulled out his phone and ignored the heroes around him, who were getting snacks and treatment.
Only when they got back to the tower and Peter was about to swing home, did Tony come to him. They stood on the landing pad of the tower, Peter in his suit, sans the mask, and Tony without his iron suit.
"Hey kid, wait up! Aren't you going to say bye or something? Now that I think about it, you've been awfully quiet, did you not have enough juice on the jet?" Tony teased, missing the actual anger behind the glare Peter sent him in response. "Sorry. Bye, mr. Stark." Peter said; he was angry, but he wasn't planning to yell at Tony, he really wasn't in the mood for it.
Tony didn't really like his response, though. "C'mon spider baby, what's got your underoos in a twist?" He said, smirking. Peter did his best not to scowl, but some annoyance must have shown on his face, because Tony laughed before saying "Okay, okay, you don't have to look like an angry puppy, squirt. What's up-"
Before the man could finish his sentence, Peter snapped. "What's up, is that you never let me do anything! You just let me sit in that stupid plane, telling me to suit up and for what!? So I can just watch you guys fight while I sit there, like- Like-" He stuttered, throwing his arms up in frustration. Tony's smirk had fallen of his face, a stern frown replacing it.
"Like the child that you are, Peter. I thought we talked about this. I am not letting you on the field unless it's a mild threat or if we really need you, okay?" He said harshly, taking a step closer to Peter. "But you'll never really need me! You think I'm useless and- and incapable, but I am! I am capable! You just need to trust me." Peter argued, also taking a step closer to Tony.
"You're not fighting. Period." Tony said, narrowing his eyes at Peter. "You're not the boss of me." Peter said miserably. He was so frustrated; he just needed Tony to give him a chance. "As long as you're web slinging in my suit, yes I am." Tony spoke; he was quick and nonchalant with his words.
"Then take that stupid suit back! If- If you're not even going to let me use it properly, I don't see why I should even have it." Peter yelled. "I'm not going to do that, kid. You're my responsibility, I'm not risking you getting shot in that onesie." Tony responded, crossing his arms before his chest, and even though he wasn't even that much taller than Peter, he towered over the boy intimidatingly.
Peter had stood before things more intimidating, though, and argued back. "If you take back the suit, I'm not your responsibility anymore. I will be free to do whatever I want, and you won't have to act you like you fucking care anymore! Do you really think that I believe that you give a shit? You just think I'm nothing and I still don't get why you even asked me to stick around with- with you!" He shouted, uninvited tears shining in his eyes but not yet falling.
"Believe me kid, if I could take back that suit forever, or turn back time so I never dragged you to Germany, I would. But I can't, because I brought you into this. That's why I asked for you to stick around with me, kid. You're going to be a friendly neighborhood vigilante and you will stay on the jet on missions, do you understand, Spiderman?" Tony spoke, saying Spiderman mockingly.
Before Peter could talk back, Tony spoke up again. "No more Spiderman for a month kid, go change. I'll call Happy to bring you home."
The man walked into the tower and left Peter alone in the wind, which picked up the boy's tears as they finally fell.
-
Tony had to fight off the urge to jug down a bottle of alcohol after he'd sent the kid away. He really just wanted what was best for the kid: he wanted to keep him safe, he couldn't lose that stupid kid. Peter really just needed to understand that Tony didn't bench him because he thought the kid was worthless, it was because he loved him. Peter had really gnawed a hole into the walls Tony had put up, and now he never wanted to lose that kid again; so even if they fought about it, Tony wasn't risking the kid's life. Later, he would look back on their argument and realized he had used all the wrong words.
As he walked back into the tower, he headed to his lab, ignoring his teammates, who were looking at him curiously, wanting to know what he'd said to Peter. Just before he fully left, he heard the kid say "I'm grounded from Spiderman." miserably, voice thick, probably from trying not to cry.
Tony left.
---
A month passed in silence. Peter didn't get in Happy's car for lab days anymore and neither of the two heroes texted each other anymore. Peter was furious and hurt; he just wanted to be good enough, he wanted to make Tony proud, but their argument and the ferry argument before that had made the boy realize that he could never be good enough.
'I just wanted to be like you.'
'And I wanted you to be better.'
How could he ever, ever be better than Tony Stark? He couldn't. Tony would never trust him, and frankly, Peter was done with it. He was done with their vague bond. Peter couldn't figure out for the love of god if Tony actually cared about him or just felt guilty for dragging a teen into his mess in Germany. He was pretty sure Tony just felt guilty, judging by his words from the argument. And those words had hurt. Peter had, stupidly, but not unsurprisingly, begun to see Tony as somewhat of a father figure, but he was pretty certain that, to his disappointment, the feeling wasn't mutual. It shouldn't have been a surprise: had Peter really expected for Tony Stark, famous billionaire, genius and superhero, to genuinely care for Peter Parker, nerd, loser and vigilante? Apparantly yes, Peter had been so naive and expected that.
When that one month in which he had been grounded in had passed, Peter found the suit on his bed after he came home from school. He glared at it before throwing it on the ground angrily. He didn't know what he had expected; maybe for Tony to come back and tell Peter how sorry he was? Peter couldn't help but snort at the thought. As if Tony would ever admit he was wrong.
Looking at the fabric now spread on the ground, Peter couldn't help but despise it. He hadn't been angry because he hadn't been able to patrol (well, he was, but that wasn't the main point), he had been angry because Tony didn't trust him. He just wanted his mentor to trust and love him: two things Peter was sure of the man didn't after their fight. He wanted to be able to join in on missions and prove himself, but Tony just wouldn't let him. He wanted to not feel so worthless anymore, but Tony just wouldn't let him.
He would forever sit on the sidelines like the child he was, multi-million dollar suit or not.
-
Tony wasn't so sure of what to do after one month had passed. He had missed the kid terribly, yes, but he wasn't sure if he should give the suit to the kid in person or just leave it in the kid's room like after the homecoming incident.
He eventually decided to just leave it on his bed. The kid hadn't come to their lab days and hadn't texted or called once, so Tony expected for the boy to be pretty mad still, and he really didn't want to have another argument. Man, he was bad at arguments. Well, not in the win or lose way, because he always won, but he was always so extremely harsh without realizing it.
What made sense for him, probably sounded to Peter like Tony regretted meeting the kid. He had told him that if he could, he would have rather never taken to him to Germany, so that meant he would have never met the kid. He said that because he had never wanted to put Peter in danger, but later he had realized how that must have sounded to the kid. And that was only one example.
But he was just clueless about how to fix it. When he said he wasn't good with emotions, he meant it. He had no idea how to deal with hurt, sad, angry, frustrated, disappointed Peter Parker.
With a clenched heart, he decided to wait for Peter to reach out, convincing himself that it was to give the kid space even though he knew he was just scared of how the kid would react if he would reach out first.
---
Peter only realized how much he really needed Tony as he sat in a chair with his hands tied behind it. The vibranium dug into his suit-clad wrists and ankles. His shoulders were sore from being pulled behind him so far and blood was making it's way from his forehead into his eye, but he was unable to rub it away. He had just woken up in this sinister, typical basement, in his spiderman suit sans mask. Just great.
The room was dimly lit and there wasn't anything in it except for the chair Peter was sat in, a miserable light bulb hanging from the ceiling and a wooden door before him. The room smelled like mold and Peter could hear footsteps above him: probably from his kidnappers.
He had no clue how he had gotten here; the last thing he remembered was sitting on a rooftop, listening to the noises of New York and if there were any screams amidst the talking and regular sounds, then there was nothing, and now he was here.
He could only imagine Tony's 'I told you so' when the man got him out. If he would get him out. He wouldn't even notice Peter was missing..
His racing thoughts got interrupted as the door swung open. A man in a simple shirt and jeans stepped in first, and behind him came another male and one female. They were all dressed casually, to Peter's surprise. He hadn't ever been kidnapped before, but he had expected all black and ski masks. That was probably just a stereotype, he realized.
"Good morning, Spiderman. Sleep well?" The man with brown hair, the one that stepped through the door first, spoke. He stood closest to Peter, the other two behind him, so Peter could guess that he was most likely their leader.
"Well, the bed isn't really comfortable. I'd say a 2 out of 10, could use some upgrades, but-" He was cut off by a hard slap to the cheek. "Dude!" He exclaimed before his chin was grabbed harshly and he was forced to look into the man's ice blue eyes.
"This is no time for jokes, Peter." The man began, and Peter frowned at the use of his real name. "You see, first, Tony Stark took something from me. He took away my business, and then my daughter was taken from me because I couldn't care properly for her. And then, I took part in another business, and guess who took that from me?" He continued, and Peter winced.
"That's right. You. You heroes took everything from me. So you're going to give it back." He stayed silent for a while, just looking into Peter's eyes menacingly. "Faye, grab the camera." He eventually spoke again, letting go of Peter's chin and stepping back.
"What are you going to do?" Peter asked, he meant to sound intimidating but there was a slight tremble in his voice. He was absolutely terrified of what they were going to do to him, but most importantly: what they were going to do to mr. Stark. Did they have him too? Would they kill him?
"I'm going to catch two flies with one stone. I will rough you up, then send a video to Stark and he'll pay millions of dollars ransom for his little kid. Boom, I get my revenge on both superheroes." The man laughed at Peter's frown, which appeared when the man had said that Peter was Tony's little kid. "What? Do you think I don't know? It's a miracle how Stark managed to keep you a secret for this long, honestly. I mean, you're the only teenager entering the Stark tower and Stark's beloved labs don't have tinted windows, anyone with a drone could look into the father-son moments you guys have in there." The man said, sounding so confident Peter almost snorted, but he didn't want to get hit again.
"I mean, he isn't exactly my father. He's my mentor." Peter explained, keeping as much laughter out of his voice as he could. The man looked at him, an amused smirk on his face. He was really, really convinced that Peter was Tony's son.
Just then, the girl, Faye, came back with a camera and a tripod, which she placed directly in front of Peter.
"Let the fun begin, aye?"
--
Tony was stressed out. He had just been called by May Parker, asking him if Peter was with him because the boy had never come back from patrol. Tony had told her no and then checked the suit's tracker, only to find it unavailable. The last footage of Spiderman was from him saving a girl from a mugger hours ago and then there was nothing.
He was just working on checking every security camera in the whole city when a message got forced through. He picked up his phone with a frown, opening the message only to find his heart speeding up at what he saw.
It was a message together with a video, but he could already see the red and blue Spiderman suit in the video. He pressed it with a trembling finger before even reading the message, praying that it wasn't what he thought it was. The video began playing and Tony's breath hitched. Peter was tied to a chair, hands behind him and ankles to the legs of the chair. His mask was off, revealing a bruised face and messy curls.
Peter was looking at something behind the camera, one eye almost unable to open due to the big bruise sitting around it. The boy's good eye was cold, but there was also something like fear shining through in it.
A voice without body began speaking, probably someone from behind the camera. "If you want your kid back, Stark, you're going to have to pay a few millions. We're not afraid to rough him up some more. More information is in the message." Before the video fully ended, Peter subtly shook his head at the camera.
Tony didn't even bother reading the message, he was already busy tracking the phone number down. That fucking rat was going to pay for hurting Peter.
---
"Looks like he doesn't love you all that much after all. I gotta say, I sort of expected it, but I'm still disappointed." The leader mocked as he looked down at Peter. It had almost been 5 hours. Tony only had five hours until they would hurt him again.
Peter glared at the man, who only smiled back. "Faye, your turn." The man yelled, and the blonde walked through the door in response, a menacing smile sitting on her red lips. The man left after turning the camera on.
Faye closed the door behind him, getting a key out of her pocket and locking it before turning back to Peter. "You know, they didn't really want me to do this. I told them I was going to beat you, but they just don't understand how this is so much more... effective." By the end of her little speech, Faye was sitting on Peter's lap.
Bile rose up Peter's throat at the realization of what the woman was about to do and he turned his head away, attempting once again to break out of his cuffs. "That won't work, sweetheart." She whispered, her hands gliding down Peter's suit-clad stomach and getting way too low before going up again. Her lips made their way to Peter's exposed neck, sucking on the flesh. Tears began to form in Peter's eyes. "No- No, please. Please, anything other than this-" His pleading was cut off by Faye's lips on his, and tears began streaming down Peter's bruised cheeks.
He vaguely heard yelling behind the door, before it suddenly flew open. He expected the man from before, but it was Tony. The man's faceplate was down, revealing his horrified face as he took in the sight of his bruised kid being molested.
Faye didn't even have the chance to properly look up as she was blasted to the ground, and before Peter knew it, Tony was cutting the cuffs off of him and he was pulled into the man's arms, who had taken his armor off.
"Mr. Stark-" Peter sobbed into the man's chest, who combed his fingers through his matted curls in response. "It's okay kid, you're safe. You're fine." Tony reassured, and Peter's exhausted body finally relaxed, his eyes slipping shut as he fell limp in his mentor's arms.
"I love you, kid."
---
When Peter awoke, he remembered exactly what had happened. He had been kidnapped by people who thought he was Tony's son, then got beaten and then he almost got.. Well, he didn't want to think about that. But then Tony had burst into the room, saving him, and Peter couldn't help but realize that the small chance of ever gaining Tony's trust was now gone. He had gotten himself kidnapped and had been too weak, too much of a child, to save himself.
Tony had gotten himself out in Afghanistan. And he's not even enhanced.
How could he ever, ever be better than Tony Stark?
I can't.
Speaking of the man: the door in the familiar spotless white room Peter lay in suddenly swung open, revealing a neat looking Tony Stark. He strode into the room, shoes clacking against the floor and his brown eyes looking at Peter from behind a pair of blue tinted glasses, which the man pocketed as he neared Peter's bed.
"Hey kid, long time no see." He said, sitting down at a chair next to Peter. "Hi mr. Stark." Peter mumbled, fidgeting with the blanket sitting over his lap as he began to sit up carefully. "You need anything? More painkillers?" Tony asked, looking at him with a frown as he noticed Peter's stiff movements.
'Uh, no sir. I'm fine." Peter assured, and he winced as he heard Tony's deep sigh. He'd already made him disappointed again. Great.
"C'mon kiddo, I know we had an argument, but I thought we agreed on no more sir?" The man said, to which Peter nodded in response. He was waiting for a scolding, or yelling, but it didn't come.
"Okay, kid, I'm only going to say this once so you better listen good. I'm sorry about the argument, I may or may not have been too harsh. Truth is, I care about you, Pete. I don't want to allow you on missions only for you to get hurt on one, or worse. I regret ever putting a target on your back by being associated with me, I don't regret meeting you. I don't think you're incapable and I do trust you, I just don't want you to get hurt because of me. I can't do that kid. And now it still happened. You got kidnapped because you spent time with me."
"That's not true, mr. Stark. That wasn't your fault, if I had just been less of a child-" Peter began, but Tony interrupted him. "You listen here, kid. None of this was your fault. I was stupid and I said stupid things and I was too stupid to find you sooner. Those were vibranium cuffs and you got caught off guard, nothing you could have done." He said sternly, leaving no room for argument, as he forced Peter to look him into his eyes.
"You're not stupid." Peter mumbled back, all his anger having faded by Tony's words, leaving only guilt. He had made Tony feel like this. He didn't like it. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be, kiddie. You did so great. I'm so proud of you, Peter."
Peter looked up at Tony, eyes wide. The man only smiled in response, ruffling Peter's hair, careful of the wound on Peter's forehead, before standing up and fetching his glasses from his pocket again. "Get some rest, kiddo. May is sleeping right now, but she'll come talk to you in a bit, 'kay?" Tony told him, and Peter nodded as he began to lay down again with a small smile on his face.
Maybe he couldn't be better than Tony Stark.
Maybe the man loved him either way.