Epilogue
Natasha's POV
The sweet, melodic green eyes of my sister are happy. Her smile hasn't left her face, and seeing her so joyful for me fills me with an infinite tenderness that makes me grateful to life for her.
"I hope your hand can bear the weight," she says while looking at the ring on my hand.
"I can't believe she did that," I sigh, remembering my Kate sitting beside me, asking me to marry her.
"I can't believe she waited so long. How long ago did you move in?"
"A little over two years."
"Too long, considering you were going at the speed of light."
"I think we both know we didn't need this; we've been hooked to each other since the first 'I love you.'"
"Ma’am" She raises her hand. "A bucket so I can vomit." I lowered her hand immediately.
"Stop making a scene," I ask her, laughing. Several heads turn in our direction.
"I love you both, but you're too sugary."
"Jealous."
"I'm the most sought-after single in all of New York, what could I envy?"
"Being hopelessly in love with someone who feels the same way about you."
"Nice try, but no. I'll leave the cheesy 'happily ever after' stories to you two." She smiles. "I'm still waiting for the details."
"Max was an accomplice in all of this. I still don't know how she managed not to say anything."
"Ready for coloring time?" my girlfriend asks.
"Yes, Mamma, I'm just getting a glass of milk," I smile at my daughter's response. For a little over a year, "Mamma" has been very constant in our lives. I can see Kate's heart swelling every time she hears it.
"Hello, mamma," I say as I sit in her lap.
"Hello, my love," she replies with a kiss.
"Would you like a glass of wine?"
"No, thank you, I'm good."
"How about an early dinner and a movie, just us two?"
"That sounds wonderful." I leave a long kiss on her cheek. It's incredible how much I love her. I try to stand up, but she pulls me back into her lap.
"I love you." I cup her precious face in my hands.
"I love you too, darling," I finally stood up, not without her giving me a playful spank.
"I look forward to our movie night." I can't answer further because our daughter enters.
"I'm ready."
"Me too, sweetie. Today we're going to try working with watercolors." I smile before leaving them alone.
The connection they have is magical, and Max has become so good. The dedication my girlfriend gives to our daughter, the time she spends, and how patient she is with her is out of this world. And it goes both ways; the little one loves her mamma madly. She has no qualms about saying she has three moms and that she's very happy. I never thought redemption would come in this form. The emancipation from my demons has been a long, dark road that has seen the light thanks to my daughter and Kate. My anchors to reality.
I'm finishing preparing dinner when strong hands grab me. I lean against her, feeling the tranquility that only she knows how to convey.
"Need any help?" I shake my head.
"I just want a kiss from you." She hugs me tighter and kisses my cheek.
"I'll set the table." I nod; I feel cold when she lets go of me.
Dinner was quick, very quick, in fact. Max barely spoke because she was so engrossed in eating. It felt so strange; she barely spoke when she usually asks Kate or me to read her a story. We take advantage of the solitude to go to our bed and lie down. Something is happening on TV, but I don't pay much attention. My beautiful girl's fingers make circles on my arm.
"Do you want to watch something nice?"
"Yes, but not on TV." Her voice sounds a little strange. "I want you to see what Max did today. It's... incredible. I want to guide her into this, but she's still very young. She's a child, and I don't want to impose ideas on her." She's rambling, and she looks divine.
"Love, you're doing an excellent job with her. With time, we'll see what she decides." I kiss her cheek. "Let's see what my girls did." As usual, as soon as I stand up, I get a playful spank. "Fetish?" I joke.
"I like touching you, and I like your butt." She takes my hand and leads me to the art room. She opens the curtains, and the forest is barely visible with the moonlight, but its tranquility is perpetual. As I enter, a large heart with different colors is glimpsed; inside it, three somewhat abstract but recognizable figures. It's us.
"Did Max do this?" I asked amazed. The pastel color combination is exquisite, as are the differences between the three silhouettes.
"She's a genius." She turns the page, and there's a strange circle. It looks like it was painted with a brush with little paint. On one side, next to the circle, there's a kind of crown. I assume it's a crown because of the golden color that stands out. I get closer to examine it, and within those medium-painted strokes are Kate's and my name, a little heart separating them.
"Did Max do this too?" She nods, but Kate is acting a bit strange. With a gesture, she asks me to sit down, so I do.
"Do you know what this is?"
"I'm trying to find a shape, but I don't know what it could be. A wheel?" She smiles nervously, and it makes me nervous too.
"Maybe this will help." She turns the page again, and I see her beautiful handwriting alongside a heart with just the two of us, like in the first painting. ‘Will you marry me?’ When I read the message, my heart stops; I see from the corner of my eye that Kate sits next to me and pulls something out from between her paintings. A small red box.
"We've been planning this for weeks with Max, although I've been holding back from asking you since you told me you loved me. I don't know what I did to deserve this, for life to give me what I asked for so long." I turn to her, her eyes barely containing the excitement. "Nat, there's no way I can see my life with anyone but you. Maybe we don't need this, I love you like crazy and I know you love me, you show me that always, but, love of my life, it would make me so happy to call you my wife. So, would you give me the opportunity to make you and our daughter happy for the rest of your days? Please, marry me." I throw myself on her with so much force that we fall to the floor, I search for her lips desperately, and I kiss her until I run out of breath.
"Yes, detka, of course, yes." I kissed her again. "I love you so much, Kate, I don't know what to say.”
"Say yes in front of the judge." She smiles playfully.
"I've said yes to God every night since I've had you in my arms. This is just a formality. I'm as much yours as you are mine."
“Oh my God, that's so damn sweet," Lena unexpectedly hugs me, and I hear her sob.
"Calm down, sestra, I thought this wasn't for you."
"Do you know how long I prayed for you to find the light again? It's a dream to see you this happy after all that happened," she says, not letting go of me. "Kate hit the jackpot with you two."
"No, the gift of life for us was her."
Minutes pass, and we keep talking about what happened two nights ago. The first to know was my mother, of course, and Eleanor, Kate's mother. I messaged Lena, and today she surprised me with a visit. We've been chatting for a couple of hours at a place near the university, catching up, and, above all, telling her about this new stage of my life. I hear the café door open, and a moment later, I see the woman I love so much coming in. My smile appears automatically; she spots us immediately and approaches.
"Hello, my love," she says as soon as she reaches our table, giving me a gentle kiss on the lips. Lena stands up and hugs her warmly.
"Congrats!" Yelena said. My fiancée's eyes close, her face shining with joy.
"Thank you. It's still very unreal to me." It takes them a few seconds before they let go and sit down.
"Would you like something to drink?" I ask my girl.
"I'll take a sip of your tea and then head back. I just wanted to say hi to Lena for a moment."
"Do you have a date for the wedding yet?" my sister asks. We exchange glances.
"No, we haven't started planning that part yet," Kate looked for my hand and intertwined our fingers. Despite how cold they feel, I'm comfortable; it's her skin, it's her.
"Please, let me take care of this. I know you're very busy, that you give a lot of time to Max, and this will distract you. I want to help."
"I don't want strippers at my wedding," I blurted out immediately.
"I was thinking more of pole dancers, but I can change that, definitely." We burst into laughter.
"You also have a company to run," my girlfriend says. "I wouldn't want…” Lena raises her hand.
"I've already organized everything after Nat's call. Don't worry."
"I'll need to go over everything with you."
"I know, old lady, I'll keep you updated on everything. I'd just be very happy to give you this, a dream wedding." Kate's fingers squeeze mine tightly.
"Thank you, sestra," I say, seeking her hand with my free hand. "I adore you with all my heart."
"And I love you both. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to hug my little spawn. I miss her a lot."
"Fortunately, we're about the time she gets out of school," I announce as I stand up.
I'm sliding in the passenger seat of my fiancée's car; Lena will follow us. Kate called to let us know she'd be back later to spend more time with us. I glance at her as she fastens her seatbelt; she's so beautiful. Her hair is always perfect, those lips that know my anatomy better than I do, that upturned nose that makes her face look so delicate, and those eyes that see with so much love. That precious face that I want to see every day for the rest of my life.
"What's up?" she questions, and I realize I got lost in looking at her.
"I love you, that's what's up." She smiles.
"I love you too, my love."
"Do you trust Lena for this?" We're about to reach Max's school. My fiancée looks thoughtful.
"Of course, don't you?"
"I know she's a bit crazy, but she knows me, she knows us, and her intentions are very good. She wants to make us happy. I ask because you're unusually quiet." I see her take a breath. "It's okay if you're contemplating this."
"What? No, not at all. Nat, I told you from the beginning, I've loved you since before my brain accepted it... this overwhelms me. I find it hard to believe that I'm going to marry the woman I've always wanted."
"Enough."
"It's very true. Yesterday, I woke up so many times just to make sure this isn't a dream. You can't imagine how in love I am with you and how much I love you. Lena wants to make arrangements; if I could, I'd marry you right now."
"Let's do it. We already have a witness."
"I also want a memorable day for both of us. For the people who love us to be with us." She leans over to fix my hair. "I'm feeling so much right now, but I would never in my life regret something that will unite me to you."
"You're amazing." I lean closer to kiss her. "I'll tell Lena that we want to do it as soon as possible, does that sound good to you?"
"Sounds wonderful."
Max just sees her Auntie Lena and runs to meet her. It's the only part of all this that I don't enjoy, the separation, but the times Lena has come, she's spent a lot of time with my daughter. The hug is very long, Kate takes my hand while watching the little one with adoration. There's no doubt she loves her; you just have to see her maternal and protective look towards her.
"Mamma?, what are you doing here?" She sounds very confused, probably because Kate can rarely pick her up. Her job in research makes her leave later than I do.
"I wanted to see your face when you saw the surprise Mommy brought you." Our daughter smiles without letting go of Lena.
"Can we go for waffles and milkshakes?" of course, she doesn't see us, she sees her biggest partner.
"For my little genius, whatever she wants." They don't even ask; she heads to her car.
"I'll drop off Kate and catch up," I shout as they're getting to the car. My friend signals that she's okay with that.
"Do you want something special for the wedding?" I ask my fiancée.
"If you don't mind, I'd like the flowers to be lilies." She carefully takes my hand during a red light. "It's a way to have her with us on such a special day, the day I promise to God and also to her, that I'll take care of you no matter what happens." My eyes fill with tears.
"Thank you." She kisses my hand.
"What do you want for our wedding?"
"I don't want to sleep away from you the night before the wedding." I hear her laugh. "It's a stupid tradition."
"What if it brings us bad luck?"
"Impossible. I think we've had enough bad luck already." I ponder for a moment. "I want us to talk to the dean and let us have a month off. I want to travel with you, wherever you want, just you and me. At some point, we'll travel with our daughter, but after the wedding, I want you just for myself."
"Sounds wonderful, my love."
~
Writing my vows is easier in my head than putting it on paper. I have the idea, the feeling of what I want to say, but the words refuse to be written, and I hate it so much. Since Lena's visit almost a month ago, we agreed that the wedding would be in December, which meant we had a couple of months left to say yes to the love of my life. My sister has kept me informed about the preparations, and video calls are common between us to discuss things, but almost everything is ready. Except for this stupid vow.
"What's going on?" I jump when I hear my fiancée's voice behind me. I never heard her come in.
"I'm dealing with... something," I say under my breath.
"Do you need help?" I show her the paper on top of which it says "Vows."
"I didn't want you to find me doing this; it's supposed to be a surprise, and I already ruined it." I crumpled the paper into a small ball and threw it away from me.
"Come." She carefully leads me to the bed and lies down too. A few seconds later, she does it too. "It's been the easiest thing for me, and I also wanted it to be a surprise, but now that this is happening, I have to step in."
"Of course, you already have them done," I say with some frustration.
"I wrote them the day after I asked you to marry me. It was so natural to be able to vomit in words how lucky I felt. There was and is an unnamed feeling that fills me with happiness." She caresses my face gently. "What feeling governs you?"
"Gratitude." I don't think too much about it. "To life because of you; love for life because you are part of it; hope to know that I can face anything if you are by my side." In a burst of emotion, I dive onto her lips. There's some roughness in our kiss, our breaths are heavy, and it's the only thing that can be heard in our space. More than ever, I'm grateful that Max is at the end of the hall and can't hear anything.
"I need you inside me," she pleads hoarsely. As best as I can, I get rid of her skirt and find her intimacy. My fingers trace her for a few seconds before feeling that she's ready. "Hurry." I enter and stay for a moment feeling her, connecting in this way that complements us, that adds to all the wonderful things we already have. I know it's a position she enjoys a lot, and I blossom a little more seeing her satisfied.
The day has come, and I'm lying next to the woman I'll spend the rest of my eternity with. What a joy to have Kate for myself, such a unique and loving woman who chose us, who waited and took the risk. I don't know if I would have been able to tell her how much I liked her, how very attracted I felt towards her. I'm so happy that she did that for me, and I'll spend the rest of my life thanking her for it.
~
I know she's not asleep, but she likes cuddles just like I do. I rhythmically caress her back, drawing inaccurate lines that still connect, a good analogy for our destiny. Everything we had to go through to reach this moment in time. Our lines had already been in contact, and now they're just about to come together forever.
“Ready?” she asks without opening her eyes.
“What if I fall in love with the florist?” her laughter echoes through the room.
“Quoting 'Imagine Me and You' on our wedding day, really? That 's too low.”
“We've seen it so many times that it's already part of our lives. I thought it was appropriate.”
“Let's get something to drink; it's time to start getting ready.”
We go down to the kitchen together, Kate is pouring me coffee when we hear the door open.
“Damn it, no! We have a wedding, and you two just woke up.” Lena's strident voice rings out.
“Can you stop being a pain in the ass for one day?” I ask her.
“Today, of all days, I have to be worse than usual. Everything has to be perfect.”
It's so hard for me to let go of Kate. I hug her for what feels like a very short time, but the fact that Lena came into our room to get us out indicates that we took longer than we should have. She plants a long kiss on my forehead before leaving.
“I'll be the one in white, in case you can't find me.”
I'm about to vomit. I can feel that eruption about to spill onto my mother's lap. I'm so nervous, and I don't know why. Just a few hours ago, I was laughing with joy, and now I'm a different person. I immediately start cracking my fingers; this catches my mother's attention.
“What's wrong, dear?”
“I don't know... all of a sudden... I'm feeling so many things.”
“It's normal; you're marrying the love of your life. It doesn't happen every day.” She smiles tenderly.
“I…”
“Maybe you're thinking about Wanda, it's normal, but sometimes life presents things to you in the least orthodox way. I saw you interact with her for so long and never saw you as radiant as when you see that charmer. The love you have for two such important people can't be compared; you just have to be thankful to life for Wanda and the gift she left you and the blessing she brought. Kate would give her life for you and our granddaughter without a second thought.”
“It's incredible…”
“That's why you're here, feeling a little guilty because you're starting a serious chapter in your life again, one you thought would never repeat. Just enjoy it, dear, live and love so much until you feel like your heart is going to explode. Don't overthink it.”
“Thank you, Mom, I needed this.”
I'm waiting for my cue to enter, my legs are shaking as well as my hands. My mother holds onto my arm tighter, and I think she's as nervous as I am now. I turn to the other side and find a huge smile that's missing a front tooth.
“Are you ready, muffin?” She nods frantically. “Let's go meet your mamma.”
I hear the violins for a few moments. When I enter the path lit by small flower-shaped lamps, everything around me disappears. I take what feels like an eternity of steps until I can see the chairs and our guests. My heart is beating so fast; it's more like the dance of a bee. I dare to lift my face finally when we're about to turn, I take a deep breath because I know I'll need it. Her eyes are anchored to mine, and everything disappears; it's just her and me at this moment in time, in this world, in this life. She looks so wonderfully beautiful that it hurts to see her. That woman will be my wife! There's a huge smile on her face that seems to grow as I approach. My mom hugs her when we're face to face, and she bends down to hug Max, she says something that makes her smile, then turns to me to hug me before taking a seat with her grandma.
“Are you ready?”
“Very ready.”
I can barely hear the judge because I'm afraid of forgetting my vows; Kate looks so calm, and I'm still a bundle of nerves. I take her delicate fingers in my sweaty hand; she squeezes it gently and looks at me a bit amused.
“Your vows, my love.”
“What?”
“It's time.” I see the woman in front of us with a small smile.
“Oh, I... sorry. I'm nervous.”
“Look at your bride and let it out.” I take a deep breath.
“Being here is the most real dream I've ever had. It didn't take long for me to understand that you were going to cause chaos in my life, and it didn't take me long to succumb to you, to your life, and to your love. Not all the love stories in the world could have prepared me to make a home in your heart, Kate. I'm so happy to know that I'll spend the rest of my days with the most loving, noblest woman and the best mother to our daughter. Thank you for choosing us. Thank you for coming, waiting, and, above all, thank you for staying.” I release her hand for a moment to take out a small piece of paper from my dress sleeve. “I had to write it down; it's from our new best friend: ‘So I continue to look for that phrase that somehow explains to you that, among everything I've lost, I've found you. And myself with you.’ My girl is fighting hard against her tears, and mine are already running down my face because it's the perfect phrase for her, for us.
“Katherine, it's your turn” the woman says.
“The universe doesn't always give you what you want, but I fought so hard against it for this that I feel like I convinced it to grant this whim of my heart; to be loved back by that woman who captivated my soul with her gaze, with her smile, with her voice, with her life. Everything I've ever wanted, I've found in you and Max, so I wanted to make sure you didn't escape, that's why I asked you to marry me.” Some people laughed. “If more people were as happy as I am when I'm with you, the world would be so different, so clean, and free. ‘More loved, you can't be, because I love you so much already that it almost breaks my heart. Perhaps I could love you again every day of my life, every morning and night. Oh, if only you would allow me, how happy I would be.’” Lena made sure the makeup was tear-proof as it cascaded down my face. Reciting Dickinson on our wedding day is more than I can bear.
“Now…” the judge speaks, but my eyes never leave Kate's. Life does give rewards. “I now pronounce you wives. You may give each other some love,” she whispers with a certain complicity.
“Thank you.” Kate holds my face in her hands. “Ready for this adventure, Mrs. Bishop?”
“I can't wait to start.” There, in her arms, my soul is in its perennial nest.