Soul

Of course, Mrs. Underwood didn't let us leave without having a few cookies. Part of me appreciated the distraction. Just as I felt like a great weight had been lifted off me, I also felt that something wasn't right. And it was because of the object I had left behind. A significant part of my history; I keep telling myself over and over that it's the right and proper thing to do. It was something tied to my past, to a past that haunted me excessively, which had done nothing but deprive me of life. Everything good, everything worthwhile has a pair of precious eyes and the face of my wife. The rest resides in my mind and heart. I don't need more than that.

"Are you okay?" my girlfriend cautiously asks as we head back to the hotel.

"Yeah, I'm just trying to digest everything. I never thought I'd go back."

"What will happen to the house?"

"I'll either rent it out or ask someone to take care of it. It's in my daughter's name, so maybe she'll want to live there in the future."

"Do you want to live there in the future?"

"I don't know, I don't think it's something I've thought about much."

"Would you go back?" she insists. I think I know where this is going.

"At the moment, no. My job is there, Max already has friends; Lena makes everything lighter; Mom is happy with us. What really matters to me is in New York," I reach out to catch her hand, "And, of course, there's you."

"You know I'd follow you," she says with some sadness. I smile.

"I'd prefer a place where both of us are calm and happy. There's no need to go one after the other."

"I love you, Nat," I squeezed her hand in mine.

"I love you too, detka."

As soon as we arrived at the hotel, I threw myself onto the bed. It smelled clean, and I needed to properly rest after the... complex night with my girlfriend. I took off my shoes, lay down, and closed my eyes, letting myself be carried away by the incredible tranquility of the place. It didn't take long before I felt Isabella lying down beside me.

“Don't open your eyes”, she said softly.

“Do you want me to fall asleep?”

“No”, I felt her getting closer. “I just want you to tell me if anything bothers you, okay?” I nodded. A small shiver ran through my whole body.

“I've always liked it here”, she said after a few seconds, her lips touching my right clavicle. She left a trail of kisses. “Marks show up in a way that makes you look sexy”, she kissed from left to right slowly. My hands wanted to move, but I ended up gripping the sheets. “And then there's the delicious scent you always have”, her playful tongue traced a path down my throat. “When I hug you, I want to stay there for hours. Smell you, feel you, do this”, "this" was a bite that resulted in a moan escaping from me.

“Why can't I open my eyes?” I felt her smile.

“Because I want to adore you, because I want you to enjoy a good time.”

“I want to adore you too.”

“It will be later, now it's my turn”, she left another small bite on my neck. “Let me enjoy you, let me touch you and confirm that you are my reality.” God, this woman will definitely be my death. Her words are certainly loaded with eroticism and infinite tenderness.

“I love you”, I brought my hands to her silky hair.

“I love you too”, my jaw was now being explored by her lips, teeth, and tongue. She was taking care of every part of my face with absolute precision. “Do you have any idea how many times I dreamed of this? How many times I touched myself thinking of you, imagining that it was you in me”.

“Kate…”

“Just like that, my love, saying my name; knowing that the only thing on your mind is me. Just like you in me. It's all about you, it's ridiculous”, the hand that was free moved along my stomach, going up and down my chest until skillfully starting to unbutton my buttons. I loved the texture of her tongue on my skin and her scent everywhere.

“Let me see you, please”, I begged.

“I want to give you a moment of relaxation after all this madness”, she sought my lips. “Let me spoil you”, I pulled her towards me, and I can confidently say it was the most erotic kiss I've ever had. There's so much energy between us. I'm tempted to tell her to take off my clothes when her hand covers my breast completely.

“Darling... please”, I didn't even know what I was asking for. There were so many sensations running through my body that it was hard to keep track of each one.

Her delicate hand squeezed my breast with confidence; she definitely knew what she was doing. The dance that our tongues were performing seemed endless. Our breathing was labored, and we were running out of air, but neither of us wanted to stop. I felt her moving on top of me, only to place her leg between mine. I knew that as good as this felt, it wouldn't last much longer. Not in this position.

I slid down with the intention of lifting my skirt and being able to feel my girlfriend's extremity where I needed it. A huge sigh escaped from me when I could finally feel her closer and the abundant moisture emanating from me. Kate left my lips to go to my neck, but she didn't stop there. Her trail of kisses and bites led her to the other breast that was not being so kindly attended to by her hand.

“What do you want, my love?” She asked softly. I began to rock my hips towards her. Something big and strong was building inside me. My hands were everywhere I could touch her.

“I want you... always”, I babbled. She thrust her leg against me, while her mouth took my breast through the fabric of my bra. A devastating orgasm took hold of me. I felt like I was screaming, but no sound came out of me.

“I love you”, Kate recited over my chest and let go. I didn't open my eyes and let myself be carried away by the excellent ways my girlfriend had to help me relax.

Of course, I fell asleep. I must be the worst girlfriend in the world. In my defense, I can say that I relaxed so much that I went into dreamland. In hindsight, it's a point for my girl, as she did a wonderful job. When I opened my eyes, she was on top of me, peacefully asleep; as beautiful as only she can be.

I caressed her hair tenderly as I continued to wonder why she was in my life. What did I do so right to deserve her? I'm aware that this is just the beginning, and we have a lot of road ahead of us, I hope. Nevertheless, I'm already noticing some things. She blushes easily, she's not very used to details, and with sadness, I think about what must have happened with other people. Yes, everyone has something very good or just good, but there's always a part that's not entirely good for us, but love makes us not see it. At least not at the time.

Thinking about that, Wanda comes to me; she was terribly stubborn, and God forbid if Max becomes half as stubborn as her mother. She couldn't be wrong, and if she was, she looked for a way not to be without admitting it. She was witty, but sometimes, she was very annoying. Too much. I mean, these little "imperfections" are in each of us, manifested in different ways. I believe that as long as we don't consciously harm each other, we can live in harmony. When those fractures start to cut on the outside, that's when problems begin.

And that's why I'm so determined to leave everything behind. For me and my daughter primarily, but also for the woman in my arms. I don't want anything to cut us, to hurt us. There's still a lot inside both of us that hasn't even started to surface, but when it does, we'll be ready.

“Thank you for waiting for me”, I kiss her hair and linger there, smelling her for a moment. “I love you”, I close my eyes and return to the world of dreams once more.

It's past three in the afternoon when we decide to start the journey back home. Not without promising Pietro and the others that we'll be returning soon with Max. My mother gets into the car and locks it, her way of telling me that I should ride back with my girlfriend in her car.

"Thank you for coming," I tell her once we're on the road. Soft piano music accompanies us.

"A pleasure, as always."

"You can't imagine what it meant to me to have you close when I lost control." She takes my hand to kiss it, and she freezes for a few seconds. I know why.

"Where is it?"

"At home," I reply, trying to hold back the tears.

"Why?"

"It's time." She squeezes my hand and leaves it on my thigh.

"How do you feel?"

"It's weird, I won't lie, but I'll get used to it over time. I keep telling myself it's just a ring. What matters is in my mind."

"You're amazing," I hear the pride in her voice.

"You're even more amazing," she denies.

"Not at all."

"Do you think I would have accepted being your girlfriend if you weren't amazing?"

"I'm moderately attractive," I burst into laughter.

"You're moderately aware of how beautiful you are, but that's not the point. I didn't fall in love with you because of your face or your body."

"No?" At this point, I don't know if she's lying to me.

"Of course not, Kate. Your personality makes it almost impossible to resist you. You're... you're incredibly caring and understanding." I lean closer to her and give her a kiss on the cheek. "I mean, I can't complain about having a girl who turns heads."

"Disassemble was the word you used if I remember correctly," we both laugh.

"But only her, but that's not the point."

"No?"

"Definitely not."

"What is it then?" she asks.

"You're not used to compliments. At least not about the kind of person you are."

"Eh, I guess not," she says with some discomfort.

"I'll get you used to it."

"I read that for someone to get used to something, they need to be exposed to that situation for twenty-one years," she adds.

"Years? Wasn't it days?" I furrow my brow; it takes me a few seconds.

"No, my love, it's years," a playful smile appears on her face.

"Then we start today," I reply with my heart about to jump out of my chest.

"I think it's a wonderful idea."

The journey was quite entertaining; we talked about everything and nothing while listening to relaxing music. I loved being with Kate, but my greatest longing was to have Max in my arms. We had never been apart for so long.

When I saw Lena's house, I felt immense excitement. I knew I was going to be teased a lot; I knew there would be questions I wasn't sure how to answer yet.

Seconds after parking, I saw my sister and my daughter coming out hand in hand.

"Mummy!" Max runs towards me, I catch her halfway and lift her into my arms.

"Malen’kiya, I missed you so much," I hug her tightly.

"I missed you too." I see out of the corner of my eye that she reaches her hand out to reach my girlfriend. "Thank you for bringing her."

"I have a weakness for what you ask," Kate replies, smiling at her. I look ahead, Lena and Mom are watching the scene with curiosity but with a huge smile on their faces. I feel Kate getting closer to kiss my daughter's cheek while her hand rests on my waist.

"I should go," my girl whispers.

"Damn, no! You're having dinner with us," my sister responds for me.

"Damn right!" My jaw almost hits the floor.

"Max!"

"Auntie Lena says it's an expression of astonishment." There's laughter all around us.

"Let's leave that expression out of your vocabulary for now, shall we?"

She shrugs and hugs me again. "Can we have pizza, Mummy?"

"I think we can do that, sweetie."

A couple of hours later, I'm carefully closing the door to my room, having just tucked Max into bed. I would have liked to stay with her because what's coming is what those two women have been holding back all night, and neither my girlfriend nor I have an escape. When I return to the dining room, Kate's smile is in full bloom while Lena says something to her, probably something that involves my dignity.

"She's told me everything," I hear my sestra say.

"Yelena, before anything else, damn right!" They burst into laughter again.

"You know very well it could have been much worse."

"She's right," my mother says.

"It was only three days, after all," I grumble as I return to my seat.

"One more day, and we would have had matching tattoos," I say to myself, realizing she's right.

"It should make me laugh, but it doesn't, because I know it's something that will happen at some point," I return to my seat next to Kate, reclining on her shoulder.

"How was the carnage over there?"

"You know how it goes. He apologized to me."

"What? His ideas must be connected to his rear end; that's the only explanation," Lena throws her napkin on the table.

"I agree with that," a voice next to me replies.

"I just hope this is really the end. I don't want to go through this again."

"Don't worry, it'll be the end this time," she reassured me with sympathy. "Now, you're going to tell me what's going on with you two."

"Lena..."

"No, none of this 'Lena' or 'Yelena,' I'm part of this relationship. I'm the other woman," I burst into laughter.

"She's my girlfriend, and I love her. There's not much else to say," I reply quietly. Her mouth drops open.

"Finally, the chicken dared to say it," her gaze is on Kate. "I told you that you had to be patient."

"Did you tell her?" I ask in a higher-than-normal tone.

"Of course I had to intervene; otherwise, she would have found someone else."

"Are you serious, Yelena?" I want to kill her, but I know her intentions.

"Of course not, my love. I was just looking for some information," Kate tries to calm me.

"With me too," my mother chimed in.

"I can explain..."

"Nah, there's nothing to explain. We had to do something because my sister here is half-blind and a bit silly."

"Thank you both. It's a pleasure to have your noses in my relationship," the atmosphere feels so pleasant.

"Now I really should go; I have a lot to do, and there's school tomorrow," I stood up with her. "I hope to have dinner with you again soon. This was quite uncomfortable and enjoyable at the same time."

"That's my specialty, dear, anytime," my sister raised her glass.

After the formal and informal farewells because they didn't want to end the interrogation, my girlfriend and I went out to the backyard. I accompany her to her car, and we stand there for a moment, the wind sending a shiver through my body.

"Thank you," I say, taking her hands. "For everything."

"Thank you for saying it," she brings her lips close to mine and gives me a chaste kiss.

"Could we have dinner together tomorrow?"

"Of course, with your mother and sister?"

"No, just Max and me. Maybe paint a little and kiss on the couch after putting my little Muffin to bed."

"It sounds like a wonderful idea," another kiss.

"I love you," I cup her face in my hands. "You're amazing." Her shy smile makes an appearance.

"I love you too, my love," we allow ourselves to enjoy each other with a hug that, to my liking, lasts too short. But I know she needs to rest, so I let her go.

"Let me know when you get home," I say once she's inside her car.

"I will. Rest well," I watch her until she disappears down the long driveway. I can't believe how in love I am with her.

I had forgotten this feeling of wanting to be with someone all the time. Wanda and I were quite close, with our healthy moments of solitude. Both of us operated this way from the beginning of our relationship, and it worked well for us. But Kate, God, Kate draws me to her with an irresistible force. When I'm with her, I think about her; when she touches me, I want to feel her touch even more; when she kisses me, I want two more kisses. It's a feeling that's overflowing through every part of me, and it makes me feel alive. A day with her is a day worth living.

Fortunately, my sister can't read minds, and she can't hear how in love I am with Kate, although, to be honest, she doesn't need more than to see my enchanted face. I know it's her unique way of showing me her love that made us form such a strong bond. She never stopped to think twice about whether she should tell me something. Good or bad. It's something I love about her; she doesn't just focus on the negative. When she's had the opportunity, she's told me how important I've been in changing her skewed perspectives of reality. The same thing she's done for me.

The next morning, I see her cooking breakfast. She refused to let us leave without having breakfast. Max is finishing waking up on the couch, and I'm preparing the kettle. Lena, it's been unusually quiet, and I fear for my life.

"Did you rest well?" I ask, trying to break the silence.

"I did a lot of thinking last night."

"About what?" I instinctively move closer to her.

"About whether you both finally took advantage of your time with the hot thing," I roll my eyes, and she bursts into laughter.

"You're an idiot, you know that?"

"Don't tell me you didn't make the most of your time, please."

"There was something there..."

"But not the main event, right?"

"No," I simply replied.

"At this rate, I suppose you'll wait for them to get married before consummating it," I smile.

"Who's getting married?" Apparently, my daughter is fully awake now.

"Nobody, muffin. Just Auntie Lena's crazy ideas."

"Do you want to get married again, Mummy?" Good question.

"I don't know, muffin. It's not something that occupies my thoughts."

"I'm sure that when your mom finds someone who loves her and loves you too, she'll consider it a lot," she gets closer to me. "Maybe when she finds someone with gorgeous eyes and a killer body," I pinch her.

"Is that what you're looking for, Mummy?" She's quite interested.

"Looks matter, but they're not everything. I just want someone with whom I can be myself and who knows that I come with a little extra," she becomes very thoughtful. "In the coming days, I'll be sharing something very important for both of us, but for now, come and have breakfast, please."

"That kid sees more than you think, sestra," Yelena says with some sympathy.

"I'm scared to tell her, but she adores Kate... it should be a point in favor of what we have," she puts her arm around my shoulders.

"The hot thing came, played with her, they painted for a while, she read to her, and took her to bed. Then she asked me where she could find you. She had a desperate look on her face, but that didn't stop her from giving Max a good time. She loves her as much as she loves you. That's not just one point; it's like a thousand, Natasha."

"She's out of this world, I swear," she kisses my hair.

"It's what you both deserve."

I'm beginning to associate the particular sound of my sneakers on the deserted hallways of the university with Team Rocket. They almost always appear out of nowhere when you least expect them and with more determination to mess things up than the last time. I sigh, almost relieved, when I reach the Literature department. Doctor Carter is making notes in a notebook; she nods slightly when she senses my presence but doesn't stop writing.

"Hello, Peggy."

"Hello, dear. How did it go?"

"It looks like they've got it. A huge weight is lifted from my shoulders."

"It's preparation, Natasha, life keeps throwing rocks of all sizes at us."

"Why?" I drop into Kate's chair. "Why doesn't it stop?"

"The one who's pulling the strings is a sadist," I burst into laughter.

"Good point," I don't want to wrinkle my skirt so early in the day. I get up and peer out the window for the first time since I've known this place. I'm barely aware that it faces the parking lot; I see Kate's parking spot occupied by another car. When the passenger gets out, my stomach churns."Bitch," I clench my jaw.

"I've also thought it's a woman," Doctor Carter replies, unaware of what has angered me.

"I'll be right back," I almost ran to the parking lot. My heels resound and put me in some kind of trance. A thousand thoughts race through my mind as I prepare to confront that horrible human being again. Almost, I pass by Gretchen without noticing her as I leave the building; she hides, looking for a good vantage point for the spectacle.

"Thanks for coming. Can you tell her to come out?" she says in the most condescending tone possible once I'm in front of her car.

"What the hell do you want?"

"You know damn well what I want. She's mine. She always has been."

"Should I thank you then for the loan?" I retort sarcastically.

"Accept it, Natasha, you're just a whim," she addresses me by name, well done.

"And you're pathetic, Shelby. After standing me up for her and seeing that someone really values her, you come with this ridiculous theater," I point to the huge bouquet of roses on her car hood.

"Ridiculous? She loves these romantic things," she says condescendingly.

"I don't even have to stay to witness this. Yes, she might accept the roses, she's an incredibly noble woman. But she'll come back to me, and I don't need to pressure her with my presence. She knows where she belongs and where she's truly loved."

"Do you think anyone in their right mind would stay with someone who has a daughter? She wants to be free," she knows too much information.

"Do you think anyone in their right mind would stay with someone like you?"

"You're a pastime," she smiles, and I get closer to her, almost taking a lock of her golden hair in my hand.

"Speaking of pastimes, I heard you're a model. I did some research," and by research, I mean Kate mentioned it on the way back home. "In fact, the person who helped you get started was CEO Yelena Romanoff, right?" She looks at me attentively. "A very influential person and my sister," her face transforms amusingly. "You don't need me to tell you what's going to happen, right?" I say, even closer to her.

"You wouldn't dare," she says, almost sighing.

"It's already been done. I was just waiting for a stupid move, and you didn't disappoint me," she makes an attempt to speak; I put my hand over her mouth. "I'm so kind that I'll spare you the embarrassment of watching you lose a second battle against me. Save what little dignity you have left, honey, you're going to need it."

"Bitch," she growls.

"The advantage of being the 'older' one is that we've covered more ground. Good day," I turned around. "Oh, and give my regards to Gretchen and Walker. The three of you can hold hands and go to hell. From me and the person who signed your paychecks," I wink at her and return to Doctor Carter.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out that this is the last time I'll hear from her. This is for real. I'm going to fight for what I love. Next step: tell Max. Which terrifies me more than what just happened in the parking lot.