Soul

It had been three weeks since Kate's confession, and things were going quite smoothly between us. The looks of complicity, the smiles, the flirting, and everything else were there, making my heart race every two seconds. I was fascinated by the way she looked at me, and also by her subtle way of being attentive to me and Max. Hugs had become quite frequent, very much so. The sense of peace I felt when she held me was something I was learning to cherish more during this time.

School, with its multiple responsibilities, had been flowing well. Team Rocket had been at peace, but I wasn't thrilled about it. I knew they were looking for the perfect moment to strike. Gretchen was constantly lurking in the shadows, observing the interactions between Kate and me. We had been extremely cautious, to the extreme, but it was impossible not to swoon when I saw her and she was just the same. Her gaze was so different when directed at me.

Today was one of those days when I wanted to tie Walker up in a knot. The guy was insufferable. He took the liberty of removing three groups from campus without the consent of any authority and without anyone to support him. Yes, they were college students, but they were still part of the institution, and whatever happens to them while with a Professor is our responsibility. The fact that the district police called Clint did not bode well.

Where were they? Clint had been on the call for a good few minutes. His expression had gone from concern to anger. "How many of them were involved?" he cursed. "I'll be right there."

"What happened?" I stood up abruptly from my seat and went to grab my coat.

"Two of the students were caught smoking marijuana," he said, looking tense. "They were taken to the police station."

"Is Walker there?"

"He dismissed all the groups and went home when they were put in the patrol car," he said, looking furious. "Son of a bitch."

"I'll cover the rest of his classes," I said, approaching to take his arm. "They won't blame you."

"The board will want my head if they're convicted," he said. I knew exactly how it worked. Of course, they would want to hang him.

"Go," I said. There was nothing more to say. It was barely ten in the morning of what seemed like a boring Friday. It was going to be a very long day.

There's a lot to say about Walker's ego, but his students know what the subject is about. Between what they understand and how much or little he contributes, his groups are not as bad as he thought. I find the classes quite enjoyable, and for a moment, I forget the drama outside of the school.

The last class is about to end; we are talking about paintings from the Middle Ages and how they reflected so much with so little. Simple pictures that revealed what life was like in the past. The students are very engaged, more than I could have expected. I ask them to do some additional reading for Monday's class, and with that, the session is over. As soon as the last student leaves, I release the breath I've been holding and my thoughts fly to Clint.

"Dra Romanoff," I turn to Peggy's warm voice. "Is everything okay?" I shake my head. It takes me a few minutes to explain what happened. "Sounds terrible, but it's the best thing that could have happened."

"Really?"

"Think about it, they need weapons for him to learn his lesson. Maybe they won't fire him, but they can cut his hours. They hit him where it hurts the most: his income."

"Then I should start working on that."

"No, you look older than me. Whatever you're going to do can wait until Monday. Maybe you'd like to talk to a certain person before you leave." I try not to show any emotion. "Not all old people are blind." I can't help but laugh.

"We're nothing."

"Oh, of course you are," she looks amused. "You're VERY good friends." Apparently, this amused her a lot. "Her class is already over, go find her." I don't protest much and do as she says.

I see her figure entering her office, making sure no one else is nearby, and I run to her. I close the door, and Kate turns to look at me with a smile. Seconds later, I'm in her arms, inhaling her sweet scent, trying to make everything around me disappear.

"Hi, Doctor," she greets.

"Hi," I'm intoxicated every time we're like this. As it's becoming a habit, when she hugs me, she massages my back near my neck.

"You seem tense," I nod.

"Do you want to have dinner with us tonight?"

"I'd love to."

"Is 5 PM okay?"

"Sounds wonderful," her grip tightens. "Do you want me to bring something?"

"Dessert," I reluctantly let her go. Her eyes sparkle as they meet mine.

"What's with that pretty face?" She traces her finger along my jawline.

"I don't want to talk about it right now," she simply smiles. I love it when she does that because she never pressures me. "I'll see you later."

"Of course," she takes my hand and leaves a gentle caress on it before letting me go.

Clint's phone goes to voicemail, so I decide to go to the station before picking up Max. They are relatively close, so I opt to swing by.

My friend is there, in director mode, looking imposing. He even seems taller than many of the officers around. In the distance, I see the two boys in a small cell.

"It's their first time getting caught; I already had this conversation with the other officer," he sounds very firm.

"They know very well it's prohibited."

"It's a very small amount. I can have them do an exorbitant amount of community service. I guarantee they won't do it again, I'll make sure of it."

"Just like you did a few hours ago?" the officer is trying to get under his skin.

"They weren't under my supervision, the person in charge will also face the consequences. I assure you," the cop pauses to think for a moment.

"Wayne, assign them some nice community service for a couple of months each," he says to the person at the counter as he approaches the cell. "You're lucky Daddy came. Next time won't be the same." He pulls out a set of keys and releases the boys. "Get lost," they walk over to where I am, looking really beat up.

"Doctor," one of the boys says. Clint turns to look at me, "We..."

"Save your energy for your community service."

"She's a good one," the officer says in a mocking tone. He hands Clint some papers and disappears.

"Go home. I'll see you first thing in my office on Monday, understand?" Clint tells them. They both nod, looking at each other as if contemplating whether it would be okay to say something more, but they don't and leave.

"I'm going to kill him," Clint sits on the bench next to me and tilts his head back in frustration.

"You can start by taking away some of his hours," I nod slowly.

"You've saved me a lot of work."

"It was Peggy's idea," he chuckles softly.

"Of course, it had to be her idea," he pauses. "Can you work on his new schedule?"

"I'll have it ready by Monday."

"Thank you," he looks at me with affection.

We chatted for a few minutes about who could take the classes that would be taken away. Gretchen wasn't considered, so some hours would be for me with America as my assistant and some more for Kate. I had to abruptly end the conversation because I was running late to pick up my little one.

Needless to say, Max was more than excited when I told her that Kate would spend the afternoon with us. She attentively listened to my instructions for setting the table and helping me cook. Her face reflected maximum happiness, just like mine. I couldn't help feeling this way knowing that I would be seeing her for more hours.

I sip my wine while waiting for the food to be ready. Max runs around the room looking for the perfect outfit for Kate. A few minutes before five, the doorbell rings. Max rushes to open the door.

"Kate!" she throws herself into her arms as I watch them smiling from the kitchen. She hugs my daughter tightly, but her eyes are on me.

Yesterday, I almost asked her to kiss me. Every second I spend with her makes me feel even more drawn to her.

"Hi," I greet as I approach them. There's a container on the floor that I pick up.

"I hope you like the tiramisu."

"Kate, you've earned heaven."

We eat amidst laughter and knowing glances. The table exudes happiness. Kate asks for a second serving of food and goes to the kitchen for more, not letting me serve her. I look at Max, and she looks back at me with a huge smile.

"You're happy," she says.

"Of course, you make me very happy," She denied.

"You're happy right now; you have the smile I like," I do it unconsciously.

"Indeed, malen’kiya. I'm very happy."

"Does Kate make you happy?" I know she's behind me; I heard her walk towards us.

"A lot. I enjoy having her around."

"She makes me happy too," she declares before eating her pasta.

"You both do the same for me," Kate says as she returns to her seat at the table. "And you know what would make me even happier?" Her eyes seek those of my daughter. "Having dessert. Hurry up, sweetie, we're just waiting for you."

The little one finished her meal at an incredible speed, not even protesting when I told her she had to eat all her vegetables. When she was done, she smiled at me, and it was my turn to get the dessert we had put in the refrigerator. We cleared the dishes from the meal, and I returned to the kitchen alone to serve the dessert. As I started to serve it, I felt hands gripping my hips.

"Is it true what you told Max?"

"You mean about going blind if she sits too close to the TV?" I laugh.

"No, I mean about being happy." Her breath softly brushes against my neck, and all my nerve endings are on alert.

"Yes," without thinking much, I lean back into her. I feel her hesitate for a moment before leaving a kiss on my cheek. I take her hands and place them on my belly, pulling her closer to me. I hear my daughter entering the bathroom, and I know we're alone. "I'm trying, I promise."

"You have an effect on me that I can't explain," I chuckle, remembering the night of her confession.

"A few weeks ago, I looked at myself closely in the mirror, wondering what the heck a magazine cover girl sees in me."

"What she's always wanted," I squeeze her hands tighter. We hear a door opening, and she lets go of my grip. "You're beautiful," she whispers, leaving a kiss on my hair before leaving the kitchen. "Ready to practice some archery, sweetie?"

"Yes!"

They practice archery for a couple of hours before moving on to painting. Max is extremely focused, following instructions and nodding to everything, just like me. Whenever she can, Kate passes by me to gently squeeze my shoulder or hand. I love that she has to be in contact with me. I reach for the glass next to me and frustratingly find it empty, just like Kate's.

"Do you want more wine?" I ask.

"Yes, please." I go to the kitchen to find that there's no more. I grab my phone and order a couple of bottles. When I finish typing, I realize it's almost midnight.

"Muffin, time to go to bed." She nods without much thought.

"Can you help me finish tomorrow?" she asks Kate.

"Of course, I think I can come by for a while in the evening." She looks at me, and I nod.

"Let 's go."

I help her get into her pajamas, and when I return with a book to read to her, she's already fast asleep. I give her hair a kiss before leaving the room, closing the door carefully. As I turn around, mesmerizing eyes meet mine from the couch.

“Hey”.

“Hi, beautiful”, she smiles and extends her hand for me to join her, which I do. “Thanks for the dinner”.

“Thank you for coming and for the lessons.”

“My pleasure”, getting closer to her until we're just inches away from each other. My hand reaches up to cradle her cheek.

"If I had to go to hell just to kiss you, I would. That way, I could boast to the demons of having been in paradise without ever entering it" Kate recited to me. I smile before resting my forehead against hers.

“Shakespeare.

“Infallible”, her hands grip my neck, and I'm ready to take the plunge. I lean in closer, feeling the proximity of her lips. A huge frustration overcomes me when someone knocks on the door. “Kill me, please”, I burst out laughing. I give her a loud kiss on the cheek.

“It must be the wine guy”, I go to my purse and confirm that it's indeed him. I take the bottles and indicate for him to keep the change. “Do you want more wine?”

She nods. I come back with the wine glasses, and even though the moment has been interrupted, it doesn't stop me from sitting close to her. When she rests her glass on her lap, I notice something on her wrist.

“What 's this?” it's a small tattoo with an unusual shape.

“Something I got a few years ago”, she says cryptically.

“A pact with some crazy partner?” she smiles.

“Nothing like that”, my index finger traces the small ink mark before resting my hand on her forearm. We fall into a comfortable silence for a moment.

“The dinner invitation also extends to tomorrow. As a form of payment for the lessons.

“If you keep pampering me like this, I'll end up with a lot of extra pounds.

“You're fine”, I say before thinking.

“Fine?” a side smile that makes me lose my concentration.

“More than fine.

“You're nothing bad either.

“Nothing bad, huh?”

“I've seen better”, I playfully hit her shoulder.

“The worst pick-up attempt in history”, we both burst into laughter.

In a matter of seconds, her face turns serious, and she traces her index finger from my jawline to my chin.

“It's amazing what a smile does to your face”, she continues to caress my face rhythmically. “Nat, you are a stunning woman... but when you smile, you simply shine. You dazzle, nothing like the gloomy woman I bumped into at the supermarket.”

“Much has changed; Lena, NYU, you…” I confess, looking into her eyes. “... you”. I whisper. “Max told me a few days ago that I have included you in my exclusive list of smiles.”

“What?” she laughs.

“She says I have a smile for her and for Lena that is very different from the one I give to others. She told me she has already seen me smile at you like that, so you're already part of the select list.

“Lucky me.”

“Very”, I put my wine glass on the table, take a breath, and do what my mind has been asking me to do for a while now. I hide my face in her neck and stay there, feeling her. She also sets her wine glass down and slowly reclines on the sofa; in seconds, I'm practically on top of her.

“Reality often surpasses dreams”, I smile. “I know I sound like a sick person who has imagined a thousand scenarios... but, this is nice.”

“It is”, I relax in her arms, and for the first time, I feel protected. Without fear. “Recite something for me”, I ask. She thinks for a moment.

"I feel a vague murmur... all the earth is singing sweetly. Far away, the forests are loaded with corollas, streams overflow their channels, and the waters seep into the earth. Just like my eyes into the eyes I am dreaming, enthralled", she finishes with her lips on my forehead.

“Storni”, she nods. “Another one, it takes a few seconds before I hear her voice again.”

"Your eyes have the depth of mirrors. Deep inside your gaze, there is a green landscape, riddled with the thousand arrows of the breeze..." my eyelids can't resist it anymore and fall like huge curtains.

I see Wanda sitting on the porch of the house with Max in her arms. Her smile forms brackets around her mouth. Her blue eyes gaze at our newborn with infinite tenderness. Both of them shine in the radiant sunlight. This is what I asked for, a family. Someone who can read my soul with ease and without fear. She had given me my daughter as a gift.

I'm startled when delicate fingers slip between mine. I turn and meet those mesmerizing eyes that have me captivated. I feel guilty; my wife is here, and here I am thinking this way. I turn back to look at them, and Wanda keeps smiling, but she smiles at me. She nods slightly before returning her gaze to our daughter. Kate's grip tightens, and I see her.

"Everything is fine, don't be afraid."

An annoying sound helps me snap out of the horrible dream. I open my eyes and realize I'm still lying on Kate; she opens one eye with much effort. She hugs me tighter before falling back asleep.

"Kat, it's your phone."

"Ignore it," she mumbles, clearly wanting to stay asleep. But the phone continues to vibrate against my leg.

"I wish, but it's vibrating on my leg," she smiles before deftly maneuvering her hand into her pants pocket without letting go of me.

"Kate," she answers in a hoarse voice. In a split second, her eyes are wide open. "Damn it! I'm on my way!" she exclaims before I can even ask what's going on.

I get up from the couch as she hangs up the call. There's a sense of urgency in her movements, and I can tell something important has come up.

"Is everything okay?" I ask, still feeling a bit disoriented from the dream.

"I have to go, I'm sorry."

"Can I help?" I offer, and she leaves a quick kiss on my forehead before hanging up the call.

"Thanks for everything. I'll see you later, okay?" She seems to ignore my question again.

"Of course."

"Do you want me to bring dessert again?"

"We still have tiramisu," she says, grabbing her bag, and before rushing to the door, she returns to leave another kiss on my hair.

"I'm sorry, Nat," she says before leaving. I watch her go and check my watch; it's barely past eight in the morning.

I wander around the house until Max wakes up, just a few minutes after Kate left. Her abrupt departure and her reluctance to talk about what was going on still occupy my thoughts. I prepare breakfast with my daughter, but I can't shake off the thoughts of Kate.

As we do every weekend, we head to the park. Max starts riding her tricycle, and she's so excited about it. I try to read "Tulips and Chimneys" by E.E. Cummings, but my mind keeps drifting back to Kate, making it impossible to focus. A woman sits down next to me, and I know who it is without even looking.

"Mother, you're late."

"I'm sorry, dear. I got carried away with shopping."

"I still don't understand your obsession with shopping so early in the morning."

"Appointment with you and my granddaughter, then tea with my friends, and later, a game of Canasta with the neighbors in the afternoon."

"I still don't get that game," I say, glancing at my daughter to make sure she's okay.

"The young lady can know about millions of things, but not a simple card game," she smiles at me. "Maybe you should come and play with me today. I can try to teach you again."

"I have plans," I reply.

"On a Saturday?" she asks, curious.

"It's not a date, it's with Kate."

"That girl is a sweetheart. She's been through so much these past few years with her father."

"What happened to her father?"

"He's in the best nursing home in Manhattan. He has Alzheimer's. Didn't she tell you?" I shake my head.

"Does she visit him?"

"She spends every Saturday with him," I hear the sadness in my mother's voice. "He doesn't remember her," she adds, and a lump forms in my throat as I finally understand. "Still, she goes there to paint with him." Without giving it a second thought, I reach for my phone and use the speed dial.

“Grandma”.

"Come pick me up at the park, please."

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes, I'll tell you on the way," Mom looks at me strangely, "Do you mind staying with Max for a few hours?" She smiles tenderly.

"No, of course not."

"Thank you." I run to Max to let her know about the slight change of plans, but she doesn't seem bothered. She loves spending time with my mother, especially if they bake cookies together.

After a few minutes, Lena appears wearing some extravagant dark sunglasses.

"Hi, Mom."

"Lena, dear, so good to see you." I hop into the car as quickly as I can.

We say our goodbyes to Mom, and she waves us off. Lena starts the car.

"Where are we going?"

"To the best nursing home in Manhattan."

"You give up so quickly?" I burst into laughter.

"Kate's father is there," I suddenly hesitated. What if it's something she doesn't want to tell me? What if I'm invading her privacy? "I didn't know about this, and... maybe we should turn back."

"What? I don't understand shit."

"Please try not to take this in a different direction, okay?" I take a breath. "We fell asleep together on the couch. Nothing happened, we just fell asleep. This morning she received a call, got upset, and rushed out without saying anything. Mom told me that she spends every Saturday with her father at the nursing home. Maybe I'm just being a burden," I pause for a moment.

"Do you want to go?" I nod. "Why?"

"She seemed so distraught. I want to make sure she's okay."

"Just that?" She smirks playfully. "She's got you hooked."

"A little," I admit. "It's... she's something special."

"I'll wait outside in case she kicks you out, don't worry." Lena takes my hand and squeezes it. "It feels good to follow your impulses, doesn't it?"

"My heart is beating so fast, it feels like a buzz."

I bring her up to speed on what has been happening with Kate in the last few weeks. We have been seeing each other, but I hadn't dared to tell her everything, especially the fact that I find myself seeking her company more and more. I told her about our almost-kiss yesterday and the poems she recited. My sister's gagging sounds prompt me to stop talking, but she bursts into laughter seconds later.

The adrenaline rush grows stronger; I'm on the verge of throwing up when I see the place. Her car is in the parking lot, and once again, I'm flooded with regret. What if I'm pushing her boundaries too much? Lena notices my anxiety and takes my hand to get my attention.

"The girl is in love with you," she says, and my eyes widen. "She's drooling over you, idiot. Maybe she didn't say anything because she didn't want to overwhelm you, or the right moment hasn't come yet. Whatever it is, I doubt seeing Juliet there will make her react negatively."

"And if..."

"And if you move your ass inside before making twenty thousand assumptions?"

"I love you, sestra. Thanks." I kiss her cheek and jump out of the car. My legs are trembling; I've never done something like this before.

I don't have much time to think as I recognize the figure I'm looking for at the reception; she is facing away from me, with a doctor in front of her, and from their gestures, it seems they are delivering bad news.

"There's not much we can do, Miss Bishop. We can't stop this."

"What comes next?"

"Keep doing what you've been doing. Paint with him, stimulate him with music, take walks, keep talking to him, even though he can't respond. Your voice can work as a calming agent for him." She's hunched over, and her posture tells me how distressed she is. "I'm very sorry. I'll have one of the nurses take him outside until you're calmer." She nods in an odd way.

The man leaves her alone, and I feel unsure of what to do. I tense up when she turns, and that's when I realize I'm still standing halfway in the doorway. Her face is bathed in tears, and my heart breaks. She makes the decision for me and runs until her body collides with mine. Her arms cling to my back, and she starts crying inconsolably.

"I can't do it anymore..."

"You're safe in my arms, I promise."

I kiss her forehead repeatedly until her sobbing subsides. Her breathing is still irregular, but she's calmer now. Her grip hasn't loosened even a bit, and I don't have much desire to let go either. I lead us to a nearby bench, my arm resting on her shoulders while my other hand holds hers.

"How did you find out?" she asks with a hoarse voice.

"I didn't want to be invasive..."

"I'm not blaming you, Doctor," she weakly smiles.

"My mother. I called her to join us at the park, and among many things, we talked about you, and she told me. I'm sorry for making you not be here," I wiped some of her tears away.

"I'm not. I loved having you close and waking up with you."

"Me too."

When I go out to tell Lena that I was going to stay, that damn cyka had already left. I can bet she left laughing her ass off.

We spent a couple more hours there. Kate looked at her father from afar, not daring to get closer. She decided it would be better to come during the week when she was calmer. We got in the car, and without even asking, she guided us to a restaurant on the outskirts of Manhattan. We sat facing each other; she still had traces of having cried a lot.

"It started about four years ago, I was still in college, and my mother was worried about the things happening to him. Suddenly, he became aggressive, then slept for long hours. He would wander outside and look confused. That's when we knew it was something serious. The diagnosis came, and it devastated all of us. We tried to take care of him at home, but my mother was overwhelmed by the responsibilities. I was in college, and I couldn't help much. Now, we work to ensure he's in a good place," her eyes filled with tears again.

"Does your mother visit him?" I asked.

"She doesn't," she shook her head. "They were together for many years before having me. They struggled to have me. When Dad stopped recognizing her...," her voice broke, "How do you live when someone you love so much doesn't remember you? We shared so many moments together, and now they are just memories for us. Mom couldn't handle that."

"And now you're carrying the weight of it all?" My hand sought hers on the table. "We're not so different, it seems."

"A few days ago, he stopped speaking entirely," tears flowed again, "It's been two years since I heard my name coming from his mouth, and this... I had hoped that..." I shifted my position to embrace her.

"I'm so sorry, my dear," her face was hidden in my neck. How the same action can hold such opposite contexts. One moment of relief, the other of pain.

"Can we stay like this a little longer?" she asked. I smiled widely.

"Of course," her breathing became calmer, although I felt a few drops fall onto my skin. With a gesture, I signaled the waitress not to bring our food yet. I didn't want anything to interrupt this moment.

The day ends when we arrive at her apartment. She was surprised when I asked for the keys to drive, but she didn't hesitate to hand them over. She slept part of the way, and the rest of the time, she stared absently out the window. I squeeze her leg when we arrive at her destination.

"Do you want to come up for a while?" I nod silently, and we go up in silence. A sweet lavender scent fills my nostrils when she opens the door to her apartment. "Make yourself comfortable; I'll fix us something to drink."

Ignoring her request, I start looking at the things she has in her living room. An enormous bookshelf stands out on one of the walls. It's organized alphabetically but not by size, which triggers a twinge in my OCD, but I try to ignore it. I see many things I usually read, and others I know very little about. I move closer and see photos of her mostly with her family, and one with a dog.

"Where's your dog friend?"

"He passed away almost a year ago."

"I'm sorry."

"I've thought a lot about adopting another one, but right now, I don't have enough time to take good care of him," she explains from the kitchen. I continue browsing through the photos, simply delighting in her beauty. There's no angle that doesn't flatter her. "Looking for my dark secrets?"

"You have works by the Marquis de Sade; I've got everything I need," she bursts into audible laughter. I pick up a photo that is almost in front of me; it's the only one where she's alone. I spotted a familiar building behind her, her loose hair, her beautiful smile, a scarf around her neck, and her eyes just barely visible due to her wide grin. "Reims."

"Do you know it?" she asks, and I nod.

"Wanda and I explored France for almost a month. I loved that place."

"It 's beautiful."

"You look very happy."

"It was a good time in my life. I enjoyed it a lot."

"Would you like to go back?"

"There are more places to visit before going there again," the sound of the kettle interrupts us. We go to her sofa, and she hands me a cup of tea. I try not to make a face, but I can't help it.

"I avoid coffee as much as I can, don't look at me like that. It's white chai, you'll like it," she says. I don't say anything more, take a sip, and let the flavor settle in my mouth.

"It would taste better with caffeine."

We talked about everything except our personal matters. We both understood that it wouldn't add anything to the conversation, and we wanted to forget the emotions of the morning. We laughed heartily, and the tea cups were refilled many times. Kate is so eloquent, so profound in analyzing things, and so attentive; she pays attention to every little detail and hardly overlooks anything.

In the middle of our conversation, I sent a message to my mother to let her know I would pick up Max the next day. I didn't want to leave Kate alone, and I didn't want to leave at all. Simple.

"Aliens," she laughed, "let's talk about the really interesting stuff."

"Isn't discussing meditation techniques interesting?"

"No. You go."

"It's foolish to believe we're the only ones. You must know better than I do that there are paintings with representations of things in the sky," she nods. "Ghosts." Her expression changes; her eyes widen, and she points behind me. In seconds, I'm snuggled up next to her, and she bursts into laughter.

"You're an idiot," her hand clings to my hip, and with the other, she holds her cup. When she stops laughing, she rests her head on mine.

"Thank you for being with me today. I was losing it there, all alone."

"It's the least I can do for you," I reply.

"I would be very happy if you stayed with me tonight."

"I'm not going anywhere," I move closer to her.

"I really like you, Nat."

"I really like you too," I fell silent. "I hated it so much that the guy with the wine showed up last night."

"We'll have our moment, and it will be magical," she plants a kiss on my head. I remember her words, "everything will be okay." I believed her, but I never thought she would be the one to make everything change.