Chapter 1
"How does it feel to wake up in a new century?"
If Steve would get a dollar for everytime someone asked him this or a similar question, he would be the richest man on earth. He understands their curiosity. It's not everyday that you meet someone who survived frozen in ice for over sixty years and woke up in the future. Still, he hates that question. They always expect him to point out what he loves about the 21st century, they want him to tell them about all the great changes and how amazing everything is now, and maybe everything is amazing now, but he can't see it.
The future is too loud and too bright. He remembers running out onto Time Square and all those flashy, blinding lights and colorful billboards. And the cars. They are everywhere and they shine in fresh colors and they irritate him, because they are familiar, but completely different at the same time. Everything is so advanced now, but they still don't have flying cars.
The future isn't horrible, Steve knows that, but it's strange and new and complicated and he just doesn't understand. He sits in his SHIELD-assigned apartment and stares at the files in front of him, the ones that document the fate of his old friends. The red deceased mark stretches boldly across every single paper but one. Peggy is alive, but she is old and suffers from dementia, it turns out. His heart aches with the knowledge that she is the only person from his past who is still alive. And yes, he's only spent a short amount of time with the Howling Commandos, but they were family all the same. And now he sees they are dead, all of them. It feels like the files want to mock him with with their pictures and the date of death that is displayed directly underneath them.
It's not just the changes in technology and medicine that throw him off.
It's the way his brow furrows and his mind reels when one of the other Avengers says an odd phrase that he doesn't understand, or a joke that he doesn't get, and everyone else laughs or comments on it, while he hasn't even figured out what it means.
That happens all the time. Clint and Tony both have the affinity to give people confusing nicknames, or to compare them to other real-life people or characters in movies and shows that Steve has never even heard of. They uses phrases everyone knows, and people will immediately respond to them, but to Steve it's strange and confusing.
He can't remember how many times he's had to ask someone what they mean when they dropped a reference to something from the media and they just stare at him for a second before they realize that he's not from their time. But they usually don't explain. They just drop the subject and leave or talk about something else. Steve guesses it's too much of an effort to try and clarify it, because he won't get it anyway.
It's exhausting, if he's being honest.
Luckily, he can get his mind off of all this future stuff when he's working.
He is on a mission with the Avengers Team, minus Thor who's in Asgard, and it's a wonderful way to forget for at least a few hours that he's not where - and when - he belongs. It should be scary to him that being on the battlefield, in the middle of a fight, is the only way for him to gain a sense of security and comfort, he knows that. It sounds as crazy as it is, but the fight and the danger is familar and welcome.
The mission goes well and they only end up with some minor injuries. Clint looks like he got into a fight with a cat with all the scratches, but the worst is just a cut above the eyebrow. Natasha sprained her wrist, but is fine otherwise, and Tony was protected by his suit the whole time, while Bruce was in the Quinjet and sat this one out.
Steve drags his hand across his face, smearing dirt, dust and a bit of blood all over his pale skin. His injuries are minimal as well, just some cuts and bruises.They are all exhausted and tired and no one speaks on the flight back to the Avengers Tower. Only when they land and leave the jet, does Steve stop short in his tracks and praises them for their work.
He has to admit, they are a good team. Each of them have their own unique skills that go perfectly well with the others, and even though they have only fought a few times beside at each other, their dynamic is perfect, like a well oiled machine.
Steve goes up in his room and straight to the bathroom, where he gets out of his uniform quickly and showers. When he steps out of the shower, he suddenly realizes how tired he is. His eyelids are already drooping and his head aches. He puts on some fresh clothes and falls straight onto his bed, his eyes slipping close the second his head hits the pillow.
When he wakes up, it's 8am, he realizes with a start. Way too late. He always gets up at 6:30 to go on his morning run. Tony judges him for it, but Steve doesn't sleep really well anyway and only needs the bare minimum of sleep, so why not seize the day?
He gets up immediately and checks if there are any wounds left on his body, but as expected, his skin is perfectly smooth where just a few hours ago there were deep cuts. Not even a remnant of a scar, as the serum has worked its magic.
Steve sighs as he takes a look into the mirror, where his tired blank eyes stare back at him. He looks like he has no life left in him and honestly, he feels like that too. But he knows he shouldn't. It was just one mission, it shouldn't make him feel like that. He brushes it off and quickly styles his hair and washes his face before joining the others in the kitchen. The rest of the team is already there, making coffee and breakfast.
Clint gives him a nod. "Hey, Cap," he greets him and then downs an entire cup of hot coffee without even blinking. His face looks pretty beaten up, worse than the day before, now that the bruises are beginning to form.
"Morning, Clint," he responds and smiles tightly back at him. He steps over to the coffee machine. Luckily, he knows how that one works. All this new machinery freaks him out sometimes (all the time), but it was relatively easy to learn how to use the coffee machine, after Tony explained it to him once. Thankfully he doesn't have to ask anyone for help.
He settles down in his inofficially assigned seat next to Natasha, who looks just a little less worn out than the rest of them. She gives him a relaxed smile that he returns. He would dare to say that he gets along best with Natasha, and that is not just because there's clearly a mutual respect between them, but because she has been the most calm and the most patient Avenger when it came to him adjusting to his new life. Steve doesn't like to ask for help, but Natasha somehow always notices when he misses a joke or doesn't get a reference and explains it to him, instead of rolling her eyes or teasing him for not knowing, like Tony and Clint like to do. Plus, it doesn't feel like she's looking down on him when she tries to help him understand these things about the new century, like a lot of other people Steve's met so far, who have no understanding for what it's like to be thrown into this new life.
That's how he ends up hanging out with Natasha a lot more, and they grow closer, forming a solid bond, but basically unbeknownst to the rest of the team. Sometimes, they even go on missions together, without the rest of the team, because according to Fury, they are an excellent team, which Steve can only agree too.
Despite all of this, Steve still feels like something is missing. Something isn't right and he isn't sure what it is.