No talk
When your mind awoke the dull headache still sat behind your eyes which you had kept shut. You wiggle slightly and Wanda knows your awake.
“Hello sweet girl. How are you feeling” she asked rubbing her thumb over your cheekbone. You were in her lap and quite comfortable. You let out a content hum and Wanda chuckled slightly. The vibrations of her chest were soothing on your head as you had your face nestled into her chest.
“Baby?”
“Mm?”
“If your feeling good enough natty and i wanna ask you something my love.” Wanda asked taking note of your muscles as they stiffened. You knew this was coming, they wanted to know why you had frozen on the mission. You fought back the emotions that bubbled in your chest and nodded.
“You want to know why i froze.” You said in a small voice. Wanda wiped the baby hairs from your eyes and looked down at you softly. Nat laid a comforting hand on your thigh and you almost had forgotten she was in the room. Wanda and nat were sat against the headboard on your bed and you were curled in Wanda’s lap.
She began to run her hands through your hair and you let out a content sigh.
“Baby we just want to know so we can help you and keep you safe.” She said softly and nat nodded her agreement.
“Alright, but i-i c-cant t-talk about it.” You stuttered clearing your throat at annoyance at the nervous habit.
“Baby thats ok, can i look and show natty then?” She asked your consent and rubbed her thumb over your cheek again with her hand cupping your face. You suddenly felt small and nodded, words becoming too hard for you.
“Ok if you need me to stop or it gets too much at all i need you to tap twice on my thigh baby girl. Can you do that for me now so i know you can do it?” She asked still speaking softly. You used two fingers and tapped twice on her thigh. She smiled down at you. “Perfect baby your doing so well. Let me know when your ready ok my love?” She asked and you drew a shaky breathe and looked into her eyes and nodded your consent.
“Words baby. I need to hear you say its ok.” She said. You looked slightly stressed and signed ‘no talk’ with your hands. Bringing your middle and pointer finger to your thumb to say no and then bringing your finger to your mouth and drawing circles to say talk. Wanda understood and began storing your hair.
“Ok baby no talking. Are you nonverbal baby?” She asked and you nodded and sniffled slightly. She cooed and asked you once more if you were ready. When you signed yes she hummed and began to project from your mind to her own and Natashas.
As she sifted through your memories her brow furrowed. They were fragmented and many were repressed, the trauma distorting the images. She saw many things. A damp cold cell with white chalk drawing of tony and the outside world covering the walls. The drawings were magical and intricate. She saw a small room with nothing in it but a chair, a man and a tray of what looked like torture instruments. She saw the lights of hospital but it was unlike anything private or government, more like a run down covert facility. She saw the man from the mission standing over you as you writhed in the restraints that kept you strapped to a table. He held a long needle filled with black liquid. She saw you standing over a man, a bear skull mask on your face and a black suit on you body. You had a gun pressed to his temple and sick grin on your face. She knew that suit. That grin. That gun. She recognised the cold sadistic chuckle as you drew the trigger. The crack of a bullet firing ricocheted throughout the ally and she watched the body fall limp on the floor with a sickening thud. But despite the cruelty of then action she saw the lacquer in your eyes. The gloss that told her you weren’t in control. She saw the light in your eyes flickering as you fought for control. She watched as the scene changed again and you were laid beaten on the floor of a cell cradling a bruised abdomen as you wore nothing but a ruined and bloody rag. She saw a man, the man from the mission again land hit after hit across your already broken and bruised body.
She watched you be broken and bled in every way possible before you were thrown back into your cell. She saw the kind scientist sneak you chalk that you covered the walls with. She watched you cry alone and broken. But the last thing she saw, was the logo of hydra printed on the door of your cell. The red ink bleeding down the walls.
She found nothing else. Careful not to damage your mind further she withdrew her controls. Looking down at you in her arms she pulled you tighter to her despite the shock. Your body shook with sobs as you wailed slightly still not speaking. In a surprising display of strength you pushed yourself away from her chest and sprung from the bed. Natasha looked dazed as you curled into a ball in the corner. Shielding your head with your forearms and rocking back and forth. The sound of your broken cries permeated the room and broke Wanda’s heart. She slowly came over to you seeing the panic in your eyes as she tried to stop the flashback. She pulled you into her arms and rocked you slowly as you sobbed. Slowly the sobs slowed as your hand gripped her shirt in fists.
As you began to recognise who was around you and where you were Wanda held you tighter.
“Baby we understand you weren’t in control. That wasn’t you. I remember fighting you but i know it wasn’t you. You couldn’t ever be that cold.” You howled and Wanda squeezed you again.
“Baby we love you the same as always and now we know just how strong you are and we love you even more.”
You sniffled and began to move your hands as you began to sign that you wanted to explain.
Wanda placed her hand over yours. “Baby you don’t have to do that just now.”
You signed back ‘I want to or i know i never will be able to.’
Wanda hesitated but nodded. Carefully she stood with you in her arms and walked back to the bed where nat sat and offered you a smile. You knew she didn’t care about your past the same you didn’t care about hers. Wanda held you as you explained. Hydra took you in the early days of tony being Ironman. You, behind the spotlight helped on missions and when you were captured one day things changed. They tortured you amongst other things and brain washed you to do their bidding. When tony rescued you he hid you away when he saved you from hydra and you and him faked your death. When you told him two months ago your powers returned after hydra suppressed them and made sure only you could use them when told, he panicked and made you come to the compound. The drugs they gave you to control your powers finally wearing off. You had always loved your powers, they made you feel safe and you quickly regained full control but the damage hydra did made some of them dissapper. Tony wants to keep an eye on you to make sure your ok if they come back also. But now hydra knows your alive and your powers are back and stronger, and they have almost certainly ordered a hit on you.
Wanda sat back and sighed running her hands through her hair as she took it all in. She was quick to comfort you as you took her silence as a bad sign. Tears formed in your eyes. And your loud thoughts told Wanda you thought she was mad. You began to struggle in her lap. She quickly pulled you into her chest again and shushed you reassuring you everything would be ok.
After all the stress and crying your head felt even worse and the familiar nausea returned. You thrashed in Wanda’s arms who pulled you from her neck to look into your eyes. They looked frantic and you quickly signed the word for throw up. Nat was quick to understand and grabbed another sick-bag. She had half expected this to happen after the stress this had put on you and the pain of crying that hard with a concussion.
She carefully placed it under your chin and you put your hands over hers as they shook. Wanda rubbed circles between your shoulder blades. You hunched over your hands clinging to Nat’s wrists for dear life she she held the sick-bag for you.
“Its ok baby. Let it out. We’re here. Don’t hold it back bubs.” Wanda said seeings you gagging and struggling to keep it down. Tears formed in your eyes before you ducked your head lowered towards the sick bag. The sound of you throwing up filled the room as all the food you had eaten in the past few hours was violently expelled.
“Shh sh sh your doing so good for us Detka. So so good baby girl.” Wanda said.
“It’ll be ok y/n/n its alright love.” Nat said. When you stopped gaging nat went to take away the sick-bag but your grip on her wrist tightened and you shook your head slowly.
“Going to go again?” Nat asked raising a brow and her question was answered as you threw up a second round. When you stopped you pushed her hands away and nat nodded to Wanda who pulled you into her as nat went to dispose of the sick and grab some more mouthwash for your sensitive tastebuds. You sniffled and buried your face in her neck.
“Aww bubs your ok. Your ok now love.” Wanda soothed. After a bit your sniffles died down and you simply laid curled in her arms. Nat returned and you rinsed out your mouth and then began to drift off to sleep.
“Its ok baby you can close your eyes. You must be exhausted after all that my sweet.” Wanda said and you nodded and curled into her chest. After a little your soft snores sounded throughout the room.
When you woke up the room was dimly lit still but the headache was lesser. You signed to Wanda you wanted a snack and you were hungry. She stood getting ready to leave but you signed that you wanted to come with. Nat who had been watching the conversation over the top of her book frowned. After a series of quick hand movements from you you made it clear that you were coming with. Nat stood pulling some sunglasses out of a drawer.
“If you come with you wear these. You don’t need to loose the progress you have made in recovering.” Nat said and you pouted but let her slip them onto your face regardless. After a second you blinked and then turned grabbing nat and Wanda’s hands before dragging them out of the room.
Nat snagged a sick-bag on the way not knowing how your stomach would react to the lurch of the lift. You raised a brow but didn’t comment. After a successful trip down to the kitchen you realised it was mostly empty. Clint stood by the toaster making bagels with cream cheese and looked up smiling at you when you walked in. Nat waved and went over to talk to him. But he frowned and nat paused. Looking sheepish he signed to nat he broke his hearing aids while training and nat laughed. Quickly signing back she told him it was ok and she would tell fury to send more. Clint looked up from his conversation and noticed you signing to Wanda about what you wanted to eat. He frowned.
‘I didn’t know she knew sign language.’ He signed. Nat froze and Wanda swooped in.
‘She’s got a sore throat so she’s resting her voice’ Wanda said and you smiled shyly. Clint smiled, happy he had someone else he could sign with. The toaster dinged loudly and you flinched still slightly on edge from earlier. Wanda took you hand rubbing her thumb over you knuckles to smooth you.
You sighed softly and gave her a look of thanks.
‘Are you alright y/n?’ Clint signed not missing the way you had flinched.
‘Yeah toaster startled me’ you signed back and Clint nodded in understanding. He shot a questioning look to nat who shook her head and indicated he should just drop it. He nodded and pulled out his bagels which nat pointed too seeing he couldn’t hear the ding.
“Wanda once you got y/n/n’s snack head back up to the room and I’ll join you a bit later. I need to call fury to get more of Clint’s hearing aids sent to the compound. Clint signed thanks after reading her lips and nat waved him off. He wouldn’t be able to make the call himself because he couldn’t really talk right now.
Earlier you, nat and Wanda had decided on how to tell the team about your issues but decided to start small. Clint would be the first one to tell he would understand the best. But you hadn’t had the courage to tell him yet.
Wanda and you headed back to the room and after around a half hour of relaxing and listening to Wanda read to you you had been dozing lightly when Jarvis startled you into fully being awake.
“Director fury is asking for everyone to meet him in the conference room.”
The AI said.
“Alright tell him we are on our way.” Wanda said slipping the sunglasses back on your face rubbing her thumb over your cheekbone as you basked in her touch. She grabbed you hand and softly pulled you from the bed.
Fury was waiting in the meeting room. Nat and the rest were already there and Wanda pulled you into a chair next to her and Natasha.
“Nice of you to join us Maximoff and L/n” fury said and you made yourself smaller in your seat as the team looked at you.
“Alright getting straight to the point.” Fury said. “Operative has confirmed that hydra has put out a hit on y/n.” Wanda, Natasha, tony and you tensed but stayed quiet. “L/n will need to be accompanied by another member of the team at all times and is not to leave the compound unattended.” Fury said and you groaned quietly. Whenever similar things had happened in the past it had made you feel trapped. And as you explained to Wanda and nat earlier that often led to you disappearing for a couple hours to be alone. “This is not up for discussion L/n.” Fury said when he heard you groan. You slouched but didn’t protest not wanting to talk still or make a scene by using sign language in front of the team who still didn’t know.
“Everyone else you are to be going to this hydra base here” fury tapped a spot on the map behind him that was being projected on the screen. “This meeting will brief you all on what will happen and i trust tony to brief the rest of you with more details on y/n later.” Tony, Wanda and nat stiffened knowing the truth about you. “Only a handful of you will be staying behind. Clint seeings you can’t hear right now which would make using coms a nightmare.” Clint frowned crossing his arms and sounding in. The chair but knowing fury was right. “Y/n for obvious reasons and a concussion. Bruce will stay here in case y/n requires medical attention and Wanda and nat seeings you have taken a liking to young ms L/n will stay behind to protect her. The rest of you will be going to the base. You leave in three days. Tony you have three days to tell the team about y/n or I will be. Alright now lets get into the details of what’s happening on the mission. L/n, Barton, Maximoff and Romanoff you all stay for this as well, you might be needed as backup at any point so stay focused here.” You deflated in your chair, feeling yourself getting overstimulated. It was a mix of the constant flow of information and the fact your concussion was making everything around you seem ten times louder than it was. Nat was taking note on your left and Wanda sat doing the same on your right. Even though they wouldn’t be going on the mission they wanted to stay informed.
You drummed your fingers on your thigh and fidgeted softly trying to lay attention. You felt the headache begging to worsen and you winced, luckily hidden by the sunglasses. After another five minutes you were struggling even more. Even through the sunglasses the light was hurting your eyes slightly and the noises had blurred together to create an endless stream of overstimulating pain. You couldn’t tell nat or Wanda because you couldn’t sign in front of the team. Quietly you took a pen from the cup of them in the centre of the table. Uncapping the black biro and starting to draw up and down your arms. You drew and octopus to start and were putting the details on the tentacles when you felt a hand on yours. Looking up you see nat offering you her notepad. She slides it to you across the table indicating to draw on it instead. With slightly shaky hands you take it. Nat frowns seeing your tremor. You glanced around before moving your hands below the table and signed “what about your notes?” And she points to Wanda who is talking notes as well and she gives a finger wiggling wave with a cheeky grin. You chuckle and when you realise the room us quiet you see Steve glaring at you.
“Y/n? Are you even paying attention.” You swallow nervously.
“Yeah thats what I thought. Please listen this is important or we will have to. Bench you on the next mission.”
when nat saw the tears collecting in your eyes she stood up for you knowing it was too much and you couldn’t talk or leave. You felt trapped. Steve was still lecturing oblivious to you going a deep shade of red from the teams eyes on you.
“Alright thats enough Steve you made your point now get back to it.” Natasha said sounding very annoyed. Steve paused taking note of the authority in Nat’s voice and swallowed before returning to the briefing as fury had left to deal with more important matters. Wanda’s eyes lingered on you for a second before meeting Nat’s as they silently and possible mentally conversed thanks to Wanda’s powers. You were a little annoyed because you knew they would be talking about you. You huffed and fixed your gaze on the screen trying to get your buzzing brain to pay attention to the details. After what felt like hours Steve dismissed the team and you made a beeline for the door. Quickly retreating to your room and despite the silence, slipping on your noise cancelling headphones and starting to draw in your sketchbook. You were chewing on your pinky finger absentmindedly as your pen flew across the page when two short raps came on the door. Wanda and nat wanted to make sure you were ok. They knew something was up. Of course with the headphones on you didn’t hear them. Only realising when then door cracked open spilling light into the dimly lit room. Wandas head peeked in cautiously and you gave a small apologetic smile and signed for her to come in, looking sheepish. She smiled wildly and pushed the door open the rest of the way as her and nat entered. Shutting it after them, the room returned to its previously dimly lit level of light but the two girls didn’t seem to care. Nat eyed your sketchbook complementing your art before Wanda pulled you into her arms.
You buried your face in her neck and drew in a heavy breathe pf her calming scent.
“Baby girl was that meeting a bit much for you?” Wanda asked softly and felt you nod into her neck.
“Im sorry my love. The reason we didn’t come find you straight away is natty here chewed out Steve for calling you out like that in front of the team.” She heard you sniffle into her chest and felt small sobs wrack your form.
“Aww sweets don’t cry we’re here now.” Wanda said and you pulled away still straddling her with her hands on your hips. You signed ‘too much’ and nat carefully slipped the noise canceling headphones back over your ears. You sighed and Wanda pulled you into her again and drew circles on your back with the palm of her hand. It soothed you like the presence of the two women. After a bit you fell asleep and Wanda quietly talked to nat about telling the team. They would find out sooner or later and right now them not knowing was making things harder on you. Stressing to keep it secret was taking its toll on you. Nat knew the team the longest and knew they would be fine with it. Helpful even.
When you next woke they posed the idea and tired and sad you agreed. Pointing at them and signing that they would tell the team for you. Nat chuckled. “Sure thing kiddo whatever you want squirt.” She said ruffling you hair with a smile you batted her hand away grinning and poked your tongue out at her.With mock offence she placed a hand over her chest and gasped. Wanda rolled her eyes at your antics.
“Honestly you two are such children.”
“Yeah but you love us.” Nat said and Wanda sighed.
“I do. I love you both very much” she said peppering your face with kisses as you giggled slightly the sound warming Wanda’s heart.
“Right we have a meeting to call.” Nat said standing up.