"i'm going to do better, i promise."
Natasha crouched in the shadows, her eyes fixed on the group of men gathering below. They muttered to each other, glancing around furtively as they waited in the dark alley. Illegal weapons dealers, she suspected. And where there were illegal weapons, there was trouble.
She hadn't planned on staking out this meetup tonight. But when she overheard the plans being discussed in a seedy bar earlier, she knew she had to intervene. The Black Widow wasn't one to let dangerous weapons spread unchecked.
A nearly silent thump next to her signaled the arrival of her backup. "Took you long enough," she whispered.
Spider-Girl crouched down beside her. "You try swinging crosstown in rush hour traffic," Penny retorted.
Natasha almost smiled. Almost. "You good?" she asked, her tone softening slightly. She knew the kid had heart, but these kind of missions were risky business.
Penny nodded. "Yeah. Let's do this."
Natasha peered down at the men, counting six of them now. "I'll take the three on the left, you get the ones on the right," she instructed. "And Pen- Spider-Girl? Be careful." She put a hand on the girl's shoulder.
"I will," Penny promised. Natasha nodded and leapt down, Penny right behind her.
The men whirled in surprise as the two heroes landed in their midst. Natasha immediately kicked the legs out from under one while sweeping another's feet from under him with a low spinning kick. From the corner of her eye, she saw Penny incapacitating two more with her webs.
So far so good. Only three to go. She engaged the next closest one, skillfully blocking his wild punches and landing a few sharp jabs to his chest and jaw before putting him down with an elbow to the temple.
She pivoted, ready to help Penny with the last two. But the girl seemed to have things under control. She had one man trapped against the brick wall with her webs while she dueled with the other, nimbly dodging his knife slashes.
Natasha had to admit, the kid had moves. Pride swelled in her chest as she watched Penny skillfully disarm the man and leave him wrapped securely in webs.
With all the criminals restrained, she turned to Penny. "Nice work, Spidey."
Penny beamed under her mask. "Thanks! You too." She nodded at the men groaning on the ground.
Natasha allowed herself a small smile this time. She opened her mouth to suggest they contact the authorities when a small noise from behind made her whirl around.
One of the men Penny had webbed was now free and had grabbed a gun from inside his jacket. He was taking aim at Penny.
Natasha reacted on pure instinct. She leapt towards Penny, shielding the girl's body with her own just as a shot rang out. A burst of pain seared her shoulder but she gritted her teeth and kept moving, half-tackling Penny down.
"Stay down!" she ordered as the girl tried to rise. Natasha pulled a small disc from her belt and flung it at the shooter. It struck his chest and delivered a massive electric shock, sending him convulsing to the ground.
Penny stared wide-eyed from behind Natasha. "Are you hit?" she asked shakily, scrambling up despite Natasha's command. Her hands hovered anxiously over the other woman.
"It's nothing," Natasha said through gritted teeth. She could feel the blood trickling down her arm but the bullet had only grazed her. She'd survive.
Penny made a small, distressed noise. "I'm so sorry. I should have checked to make sure he was fully restrained."
Natasha shook her head. "Not your fault. Don't apologize." She looked Penny over worriedly. "Are you hurt at all?"
"No, I'm totally fine thanks to you," Penny assured her. She reached out to put pressure on Natasha's wound but the woman shrugged her off.
"I'm fine," she repeated sternly. "It's just a graze." Her heart was still racing from those seconds when she'd seen the gun aimed at Penny and had been helpless to do anything but shield her. Taking hits was part of the job. But it was so much worse when it was someone she cared about.
Penny hesitated, then drew back her hand. "I, uh, I probably could have dodged that shot if you hadn't knocked me down so fast," she said quietly. "So thanks for the save, but you didn't have to literally take a bullet for me."
Natasha's lips thinned. "You don't know that you could have dodged it in time. I did what I had to do. I'm not going to apologize for protecting you." She could hear the bite in her own tone but she couldn't help it. The adrenaline was still flooding her system.
"Whoa, hey," Penny held up both hands placatingly. "I just meant I appreciate you looking out for me, but I don't want you getting hurt because of me."
Natasha scowled. "That's my choice to make. You're still new to this. If I think you're in over your head, I'm going to keep you safe."
Penny bristled slightly. "Okay, I get that you're coming from a caring place and all. But I've been Spider-Girl for awhile now. I don't need you to treat me like a little kid in the field. I can handle myself."
"Oh really?" Natasha snapped. "Because it sure looked like you needed my help just now."
Penny recoiled as if she'd been slapped. "I was doing just fine before you decided to go all mama bear on me! If anything, your overprotectiveness is just distracting and dangerous."
Natasha's eyes blazed. Maybe she was overreacting, but the lingering panic and drive to protect were clouding her judgement.
"You know what's really dangerous?" she snarled. "Thinking you're invincible. One slip up out here and you're dead. At least I know my limits."
"Yeah, well I don't need you to point them out to me!" Penny shouted back. Her face was flushed behind her mask. "I'm tired of you second guessing me all the time! Just back off and let me handle myself!"
They stood there breathing hard, neither willing to back down. The tension simmered between them.
Then Natasha blinked, shame washing over her. What was she doing, tearing into the girl like this? Penny didn't deserve such a vicious reprimand just for speaking her mind. Natasha was supposed to be the adult here.
"Penny..." she started, her tone now weary. "I'm sorr-"
She was cut off by the crack of a gunshot. Penny cried out, staggering back. A bloom of red spread rapidly across her lower abdomen.
Everything slowed to a crawl. Natasha whipped around to see one of the disabled thugs had gotten hold of another firearm. She flung herself towards him in fury even as she registered hisvicious smirk.
It was the same man who had tried to shoot Penny earlier. Something in Natasha snapped.
She launched at him in a whirlwind of fists and feet. All her frustration and helplessness fueled her as she struck out with vicious accuracy. The man tried to bring his gun around but she broke his wrist with one swift motion.
A final blow to the head left him unconscious and bleeding at her feet. Natasha immediately spun back to Penny.
The girl was splayed on the ground, hands pressed to her stomach. Blood still seeped out around her fingers. Her breathing came in pained gasps.
Natasha's heart squeezed. No no no. This was all her fault. If she hadn't been so blinded by her own anger and fear...
She dropped to her knees beside Penny, hands hovering frantically, trying to assess the damage.
"Oh god, Penny. Just hold on, okay? Stay with me." She kept pressure on the wound with one hand while tapping desperately at her wrist controller with the other. "I'm calling for medical evac, they'll be here any minute."
Penny blinked up at her from behind her mask. "Nat...s'okay. Doesn't look that bad." But her face was pale and drawn.
Natasha shook her head fiercely. "No. It's not okay. This never should have happened." There were tears in her eyes now. She blinked them back. "I'm so sorry. I let this whole thing get out of hand. You didn't deserve that."
Penny managed a weak smile. "S'alright. I was pretty much asking for the angry spy lecture." She tried to laugh but it turned into a pained cough.
Natasha gripped her shoulder. "No. Don't try to make me feel better." Her throat felt tight. "This wasn't your fault. I was reckless with you. I took my fear out on you when I should have been keeping you safe."
Penny's eyes softened behind her mask. She reached up a shaky hand to squeeze Natasha's. "I get it. It's okay to be scared sometimes." Her voice was growing weaker. "Doesn't make you any less of a badass."
Natasha let out a shaky breath. She carefully peeled back the fabric of Penny's costume to better inspect the gunshot wound, trying not to cause more pain.
"I know you're not helpless, " she admitted softly. "Doesn't mean I won't want to protect you. But it shouldn't make me lose control like that." She met Penny's gaze. "I don't mean to smother you. I'll try to tone down the mama bearness from now on."
Penny gave a tired chuckle. "S'nice though. Having someone who cares that much." Her eyelids fluttered closed for a moment before blinking back open. "Never really had that before everything with Spider-Girl."
Natasha's heart constricted. On impulse, she brushed back a lock of hair that had fallen across Penny's forehead. "Well, you have it now, kid. I'm not going anywhere."
Penny nodded weakly. "Know you'll always have my back. You and the team." Her voice was barely a mumble now, her eyes struggling to stay open. "My family..."
Natasha gripped her hand tightly. "That's right. Just stay with me now, alright?" She glanced up desperately but there was still no sign of the med team.
She focused back on keeping pressure on the wound. "Eyes open, Penny. Talk to me." When Penny didn't respond, she patted her cheek urgently. "Come on, stay awake. Please honey..." Her breath caught as the term of endearment slipped out unconsciously.
But it felt right, she realized. She cared about this kid like her own. Penny was family now. And nothing terrified Natasha more than losing family.
Penny's eyes fluttered back open at Natasha's pleading tone. They fixed on her with sudden awareness. "Did you...did you just call me honey?"
Natasha froze. She hadn't even realized. "I..." She fumbled for words. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to presume-"
But Penny was smiling now, a weak but delighted grin. "S'nice," she mumbled. "Never really had anyone do the whole mom thing. Kinda always wanted that."
Natasha's eyes stung with tears again. Not trusting her voice, she just squeezed Penny's hand and smoothed back her hair once more.
Finally, finally, she heard the approaching med team. Penny had slipped into unconsciousness again but she was still breathing. Natasha let out a long breath of relief.
"It's going to be okay, honey," she whispered. "I've got you."
Natasha paced the length of the hospital room, gazing anxiously at the figure in the bed. Penny was still unconscious but her color had improved after surgery and several transfusions. The doctors said she would make a full recovery.
Natasha should have been relieved. Instead, she couldn't erase the image of Penny bleeding out in her arms from her mind. Or forget her own role in letting things spiral so badly out of control.
She understood now that denying her fears or projecting them onto Penny wasn't the answer. She needed to be better about communicating when she was worried or overwhelmed.
The girl had gotten under her skin, there was no denying that now. Natasha had always been wary of attachments. But Penny had broken through those walls in a way few others ever had.
The thought of anything happening to her...it was unbearable. Better to accept how much she cared and find a way to deal with it.
Starting with an apology. She'd tried to tell Penny it wasn't her fault, but that was bullshit. Natasha knew she owed the girl a real, heartfelt apology when she woke up.
If she woke up, an anxious voice whispered. Natasha scowled and shook her head sharply. No. Penny was young and strong. She'd pull through this.
A soft knock at the door interrupted her brooding. Clint stuck his head in. "How's our girl?" he asked quietly.
Natasha tried to smile. "Holding her own. Docs say she'll be okay."
Clint nodded. "That's our tough spiderling." He looked at Natasha with knowing eyes. "You holding up alright?"
She started to answer cavalierly but the lie died on her lips. She sank down into a chair instead.
"I should have protected her better," she admitted heavily. "I let things get out of control between us."
Clint shook his head as he came to stand beside her. "You know that's not true. You care about her. Losing it a little comes with the territory." He clasped her shoulder. "Penny adores you. Trust me, she doesn't blame you for any of this."
"Well, she should," Natasha whispered. But she let some of the tension ease from her frame at his reassurance.
Another figure appeared in the doorway. "Room for two more worried spiders?" Tony asked lightly as he entered, Rhodey just behind him.
Natasha waved them both in. "She's doing alright," she assured them before they could ask. "Just needs some rest."
Tony nodded, relief flashing across his features. He moved to Penny's side and gently brushed her hair back. Rhodey squeezed his shoulder comfortingly.
"Kid's real lucky to have you watching her back," he said quietly to Natasha.
She shook her head, that familiar guilt rising again. But Clint spoke up before she could respond.
"Our girl's got the whole spider family fretting over her now," he said with a small smile. "She's gonna get such a kick out of this when she wakes up."
That startled a weak laugh from Natasha. He was right. Penny would be simultaneously delighted and embarrassed to have them all fussing over her like this.
The four of them settled in to keep vigil, taking turns sitting by Penny's side or fetching coffee for the others. The quiet companionship soothed Natasha's lingering fears.
They were a family, all of them. And families looked out for each other when things went wrong.
It was nearly 3am when a soft groan from the bed jolted them all alert. Natasha was on her feet in an instant, leaning over Penny.
"Hey, spiderling," she called gently. "Can you hear me?"
Penny's eyes slowly blinked open. They fixed blearily on Natasha. "Tasha?" she croaked.
Natasha's shoulders sagged in relief. "Yeah kid, it's me. We're all here." She motioned to the others hovering anxiously beside her.
"Gave us a real scare, short stuff," Tony said, though his voice was gruff with emotion. "But the doc says you'll be back to climbing walls in no time."
Penny gave a tired smile at that. Her eyes tracked across all their faces. "Sorry to freak you guys out. Not my finest heroic moment."
Clint squeezed her arm. "Nothing to apologize for. Just focus on feeling better."
Rhodey nodded agreement. "We're just glad you're okay."
Penny's eyes were already drifting shut again. "Thanks for being here," she mumbled. "Love you guys."
A chorus of "love you too" followed as she slipped back into sleep. Tony carefully tucked the blanket around her.
Natasha gently brushed a kiss over her forehead. "Sweet dreams, little spider," she whispered.
Over the next few days, Penny's room was constantly occupied by a rotating cast of visitors. Sam and Bucky came by with snacks and comic books. Wanda entertained her with sparkling wisps of magic. Even Fury stopped in briefly to awkwardly pat her leg and tell her to "heal up quick, kid."
Through it all, Natasha stuck close to Penny's side. She helped her take the first tentative steps out of bed. She made sure her favorite tv shows were playing during late night feeds.
And she finally worked up the courage to have the conversation she'd been dreading.
"Hey Penny, can we talk for a minute?" she asked during a late afternoon lull.
Penny muted the sitcom she'd been watching and looked over. "What's up?"
Natasha took a deep breath. "I owe you an apology. For how I acted during the mission. I let my fear override my logic and I took it out on you when you didn't deserve it."
She held Penny's gaze, willing her to understand the depth of her regret. "It was unfair of me. And it distracted us both at a critical moment. I'm so sorry."
Penny was quiet for a long moment. Then she reached out to take Natasha's hand. "I forgive you," she said simply. "And I'm sorry too. I know your protectiveness comes from good intentions. I appreciate it. Thank you."
Natasha blinked rapidly against the sudden tears in her eyes. She gave Penny's hand a gentle squeeze.
"Thank you," she said hoarsely. "I'm going to do better, I promise. I'll be more open about when I'm feeling anxious or scared. And I'll let you handle what you're capable of."
Penny nodded sleepily. "I know you've got my back. We're good." She punctuated it with a massive yawn.
Natasha smiled softly. "Why don't you get some rest, little spider." She helped settle Penny against the pillows and tucked the blanket around her.
Penny mumbled in protest but her eyes were already drifting shut. As Natasha started to move away, Penny's hand shot out to catch her wrist loosely.
"Stay?" she requested drowsily.
Natasha gently squeezed her hand. "Of course." She settled back into the chair beside the bed without letting go of Penny's hand.
Penny gave a contented little sigh, her eyes still closed. "Love you, Mom," she mumbled.
Natasha went very still. Slowly, she brought Penny's hand up to her lips and brushed a feather-light kiss over her knuckles.
"I love you too, honey," she whispered.
Penny was already asleep, her chest rising and falling steadily. But she wore a soft smile that matched Natasha's own.
Natasha stayed by her side, keeping a protective watch until morning light began to creep into the room. Whatever uncertainties she still struggled with, her purpose here was clear.
This girl had her heart. And she would move heaven and earth to keep her safe.