"he needs me"
Natasha paced back and forth in the living room of her small apartment, glancing anxiously at her phone every few seconds. She knew Peter would be home from school soon, but she hadn't heard from him since that morning. Ever since he had become Spider-Man, she worried about him constantly.
As if on cue, she heard keys in the lock and let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. Peter shuffled inside, dropping his backpack on the floor with a thud.
"Hey Mom," he said tiredly.
Natasha crossed the room in three quick strides and pulled him into a hug. "You're late. I was worried."
Peter hugged her back briefly before pulling away. "Yeah, sorry about that. I just...lost track of time."
Natasha eyed him critically, noticing the scrapes on his hands and the bruise on his cheek. "Rough day?"
Peter shrugged. "I stopped a bicycle thief. No big deal."
Natasha nodded, but suspicion gnawed at her. Peter was holding something back, she could always tell. But prying never got her anywhere with her stubborn son.
"Well, go get cleaned up. I picked up some pizza on the way home," she said.
Peter's eyes lit up. "Awesome, thanks!" He grabbed a slice and retreated to his room, leaving Natasha alone with her thoughts.
A few hours later, Natasha was just drifting off to sleep when her phone rang loudly. She grabbed it and saw Tony Stark's name flash across the screen. Her heart dropped.
"Stark?" she answered, trying to keep her voice steady.
"Romanoff. We need to talk," Tony said sharply.
Natasha sat up, gripping the phone tighter. "What is it?"
"It's about the kid. Spider-Man. He screwed up big time today."
Natasha's chest constricted. "What happened?"
"He interfered in a situation he had no business being involved in and nearly got a lot of people killed. I gave him that suit trusting he could handle himself responsibly, but clearly he's just a kid in over his head."
Natasha's shock quickly turned to anger. "So what, you're just going to take his suit away? He was trying to help people!"
"Yeah, well he nearly got them all killed in the process. I'm done dealing with his recklessness."
Natasha bit back a sharp retort. Yelling would get her nowhere with Stark. She took a breath. "Tony, he's just a kid. If you take this away from him he'll keep going out there anyway, and then he'll be in even more danger without your tech protecting him."
"Sorry Nat, but my mind's made up. He wants to keep being Spider-Man, he'll have to do it without my resources."
Natasha squeezed her eyes shut, fear for her son coursing through her. "Please, Tony. Don't do this to my son." Her voice cracked slightly.
There was silence on the other end for a moment. "Wait...is the kid...yours?" Tony asked incredulously.
Natasha pressed her lips together, cursing internally. She hadn't meant for that to come out.
"Yeah," she finally admitted. "He's my son."
"Holy shit," Tony breathed. "Does anyone else know?"
"Only you, Fury, and Barton know, and I'd like to keep it that way. His safety is at risk if word gets out."
Tony let out a low whistle. "Wow. Okay, this puts things in a different perspective. But I'm sorry, I can't have him out there endangering people, even if he is your kid."
Natasha's fear was rapidly turning to rage. "Tony, listen to me. If you take away his suit, his abilities, his entire identity, he's going to keep going out there anyway. And if he gets hurt or...worse, that will be on you. He's just a kid." Her voice broke on the last word.
Tony was silent again. When he finally spoke, his voice was tight. "I'll be at your apartment in 15 minutes to collect the suit." The line went dead.
Natasha stared at the phone in disbelief and fury. How could he do this to her child? She considered taking Peter and disappearing, but she knew Stark would track them down. She was trapped.
When Tony arrived, Peter at first refused to hand over the suit. But Natasha convinced him, as much as it pained her. She couldn't let him get more on Stark's bad side. After Tony left with the suit, Peter stormed off to his room and slammed the door, refusing to speak to her.
The next few days were torture for Natasha. Peter went to school and came straight home, barely talking to her. She could see how devastated he was and it killed her. He needed to be Spider-Man, it was part of who he was.
That weekend, Peter emerged from his room, dressed in a shirt and tie. "Hey Mom, I'm going to Homecoming tonight. With Liz. I'll text you, okay?" He gave her a half-hearted hug and rushed out the door before she could respond.
Natasha watched him go, heart aching. She was thrilled he was finally getting out of the house and trying to be a normal teenager again, but she knew he was still hurting badly inside. Sighing, she slipped on her jacket and headed out for a walk to clear her head.
She was halfway around the block when her phone rang. She looked down and saw Peter's name. Relief flooded through her.
"Peter, hey! How's the dance?" she asked brightly.
"Mom..." Peter's voice was strained, laced with pain. Natasha's chest tightened.
"What is it? What's wrong?"
"Vulture...he's gonna get away...I tried to stop him...I'm trapped..." His words were interrupted by a cry of pain.
"Peter! Where are you? Talk to me!" Natasha shouted into the phone. But the call cut off.
Natasha stared at the phone, hands shaking. Peter was in trouble, badly injured from the sounds of it, and she had no way to find him.
Unless...Stark.
She broke into a run back to her apartment. She grabbed her grappling hook, and swung as fast as she could back to the Compound.
She burst into Tony's lab, not bothering to stop and talk to FRIDAY. Tony looked up from his worktable, startled.
"Romanoff, what the hell-"
She put up a hand before he could continue, eyes blazing. "Peter's in trouble. He needs help. Now."
Tony crossed his arms. "What kind of trouble?"
Natasha quickly explained the call from Peter, the pain in his voice, the call cutting off. "He's injured, trapped somewhere, and that Vulture guy is getting away! We need to find him!"
Tony held up a hand. "Okay, first of all, calm down. Panicking won't help the kid."
Natasha bit back a scream of frustration. "Hurry, track him down with FRIDAY. We're wasting time!"
Tony shook his head. "I can't. I took away his suit, remember? All the tracking tech was in that."
Natasha stared at him. "Are you fucking kidding me?!" she shouted, slamming a fist on the table.
"Hey! Watch it!" Tony said sharply. "Look, yelling won't solve anything. Let's just think through this."
Natasha spun away, putting her hands on her head. She couldn't lose Peter. The thought of life without her beloved son was too much to bear.
"Wait..." she muttered. "Check all security camera footage in the area. See if we can track him down that way. There's no way he could've gotten that far."
Tony nodded and started typing rapidly on a computer. "You're right, I've found something... according to these cameras, he was last seen near the coast at Coney Island."
Natasha flipped out her batons. "Let's go. Now." She started walking towards the quinjet, with Tony following close behind.
As the quinjet slowly landed on the beach, Natasha could see smoke rising in the distance. She pushed the thrusters to max capacity, her heart pounding.
She scanned the beach as she landed. There was a crashed jet plane, flames flickering around it. And nearby...
"Peter!" she screamed.
He was crumpled on the sand, still dressed in his ill-fitting homemade suit. The Vulture was unconscious and webbed up beside him.
Natasha sprinted over, flipping up her mask. She fell to her knees and gently rolled Peter over. Blood stained the side of his suit and his face was pale. But he was breathing.
"Oh Peter," she choked out, cradling him in her arms. "Just hold on, baby. I've got you."
Peter's eyes fluttered open and he looked up at her dazedly. "M-Mom?" he stammered.
"Yeah, I'm here," she said, tears falling freely down her face.
Peter gave her a weak smile. "You came..." His eyes started to drift shut again.
"No no no, stay with me Peter," Natasha pleaded desperately. "Keep your eyes open."
Peter forced his eyes back open. "M'sorry Mom...love you..." he mumbled, before going unconscious in her arms.
"Peter? Peter!" Natasha shook him gently but got no response. Sobs wracked her body as she clutched him tightly.
She felt a hand on her shoulder and flinched away violently.
"Hey, it's me," Tony said, raising his hands. "We need to get him help."
Natasha nodded shakily, standing up with Peter cradled in her arms. "Please tell me the compound isn't far," she said hoarsely.
"15 minutes away. I called ahead, medical team is on standby. Take the quinjet, I'll stay here until they get Toomes."
Natasha stepped into the quinjet, still clinging to Peter. As the jet lifted off, she stroked her son's hair and begged him to hold on.
The second the jet landed at the compound, Natasha ran full speed to the medbay, Peter clutched to her chest.
Helen Cho and her team swarmed forward, easing Peter onto a stretcher. Natasha tried to follow but was stopped by a firm hand.
"You need to give them space to work," Bruce Banner said gently.
Natasha turned wild eyes on him. "But he's my son! He needs me!"
Bruce blinked in surprise. "Your...he's your son?" Understanding dawned on his face and he nodded. "Okay. Just try to stay calm. Helen is the best there is, she'll take care of him."
Natasha took a shaky breath and sank into a chair, not taking her eyes off the doors Peter had disappeared through. Bruce sat next to her and put a comforting hand on her knee.
Soon the other Avengers, drawn by the commotion, started filtering into the waiting area. Seeing Natasha's distraught state, they sat down quietly near her to keep vigil. No one pressed for details, just offered silent comfort.
After two agonizing hours, Helen emerged, looking exhausted. "He's stable," she reported. "A few broken ribs, fractured leg, concussion, some internal bleeding we got under control. He'll be just fine in a few weeks."
Natasha let out a sob of relief. "Thank god. Can I see him?"
Helen nodded. "Just for a few minutes. He's heavily sedated and needs rest."
Natasha rushed into the room. Peter lay in the hospital bed, eyes closed, looking small and pale amidst all the machinery. Natasha grabbed his hand, tears flowing freely again. "I'm here baby," she whispered. "I've got you."
Peter's eyes fluttered open, clouded with drugs. "M'ma?" he slurred.
Natasha gasped. "Peter! Hey, it's me, I'm right here."
Peter gave her a loopy grin. "'M sorry I ruined my hom'cming d'te wif Liz. B't Vulture guy was gonna steal Stuff. Had to stop him." His words blurred together, barely comprehensible.
Natasha stroked his hair gently. "Shh, it's okay. Just rest, my love. We'll talk later."
"Kay Mama," Peter sighed happily, eyes drifting shut again.
Natasha kissed his forehead softly before slipping from the room, emotions swirling within her. He was safe. That was all that mattered.
She returned to the waiting area where the other Avengers looked up hopefully.
"He's okay for now," she reported wearily, sinking onto the couch next to Clint. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
"How are you holding up?" he asked gently.
She shook her head. "I thought I might lose him tonight. My baby." Her voice broke and tears welled up again.
Clint hugged her tight. "But you didn't. He's safe now. He's a fighter, just like his mom."
Natasha gave him a watery smile. She looked around at her team, her family. "I suppose you guys are wondering how I have a teenage son none of you knew about."
Steve spoke up kindly. "Only if you want to tell us. We're just glad he's alright."
Natasha took a deep breath. "Back when I was training in the Red Room, I had a brief relationship with another operative. I got pregnant at 16. They wanted me to terminate the pregnancy, but I refused." She looked down at her hands.
"I ran away instead. Had Peter in secret and left him with his "parents", Mary and Richard Parker, former SHIELD agents, but after their deaths, Peter went to live with his "aunt and uncle", May and Ben Parker. With my dangerous life, it was the only way to keep him safe. I checked in on him over the years, but from a distance. When his abilities started manifesting, I revealed the truth to him and brought him to live with me."
She shook her head sadly. "He always wanted to help people, to use his powers for good. I didn't want him putting himself at risk, but I'm so proud of the man he's becoming."
She looked back up at her team. "Thank you all for being here. It means the world to me."
They each hugged her and offered words of support and love. After they had all drifted off to get some rest, Natasha returned to Peter's room. She curled up in the chair beside his bed, finally allowing exhaustion to take over.
The next couple days passed in a blur. Peter drifted in and out of consciousness, and when he was awake he was loopy and incoherent from all the medications.
Natasha stayed by his side as much as Helen allowed, only leaving to shower and eat at Bruce's insistence. The rest of the team checked in often, both to support Natasha and see Peter.
On the third day after the fight, Peter finally woke up lucid. Natasha was sitting by his bed reading when he turned to her and said "Mom?" in a clear voice.
Her head jerked up. "Peter! Hey baby, how are you feeling?" She grasped his hand.
"I'm okay," he said hoarsely. "Still really sore though. What happened?"
Natasha quickly filled him in on everything after their call cut off. Peter listened quietly, wincing occasionally at the details.
"I'm so sorry I scared you like that Mom," he said when she had finished. "And that you had to tell everyone about me being your son."
Natasha shook her head. "Don't apologize. I'm just thankful you're safe. The others were bound to find out at some point anyway."
Peter nodded. "Still. Thank you for coming to save me."
Natasha kissed his hand. "Always."
They both looked up as a soft knock sounded on the door. It was the other Avengers, crowding into the room.
"Hey kid, you gave us quite a scare," Tony said, clapping Peter gently on the shoulder. "Glad to see you awake."
Peter ducked his head. "I'm really sorry Mr. Stark. And thank you for coming to help me and my mom."
Tony waved a hand. "Don't mention it." He gestured to the others behind him. "I'll let the rest of your adoring fans take it from here." He slipped from the room.
Clint stepped forward first, ruffling Peter's hair. "You did good kid. Get some rest." Wanda hugged Natasha, both women clinging to each other for a long moment. Thor regaled Peter with an exaggerated recap of the events, resulting in the first laugh they'd heard from the teen in days.
Steve approached last. "Your mother is very special to all of us," he said kindly. "I'm glad we could help you, son. But no more scaring us like that, okay?"
Peter gave a shy smile. "I'll do my best Captain Rogers, sir."
They all continued visiting over the next couple of hours until Peter started nodding off mid-conversation. After final hugs and hair ruffles, they slipped out to let him rest.
Over the next two weeks, with Natasha rarely leaving his side, Peter made a full recovery. On the day Helen cleared him to leave the medbay, the team threw a small party to welcome him home.
Later that night, curled up with his mother on the couch eating celebratory pizza, Peter turned to her. "Thank you for taking care of me. And for being honest with everyone about me being your son. I know it wasn't easy for you."
Natasha pulled him close and kissed his forehead. "You're the most important thing in the world to me. I'd do anything for you."
Peter hugged her tightly. "I love you so much. Mama."
Natasha held her son close and sent up a silent prayer of thanks that he was safe in her arms. "I love you too, always."
A Few Weeks Later
Natasha jerked awake with a gasp, heart pounding. The image of Peter's lifeless body was seared into her mind. Just a nightmare, she told herself, struggling to slow her breathing. Peter was safe at home.
Still, she had to see her son for her own sake. She rose from bed on shaky legs, wrapping her robe around herself against the pre-dawn chill. Making her way silently to Peter's room, she cracked open the door.
Peter was sprawled across his bed, snoring softly. Natasha leaned against the doorframe, relief washing over her as she took in the steady rise and fall of his chest. He was okay.
After watching him sleep peacefully for a few more minutes, she eased the door closed again. But she knew more sleep would elude her this night.
Padding to the kitchen, she put on a pot of coffee. As she waited for it to brew, she allowed her mind to drift back to that awful night...
Peter's panicked voice on the phone, his pained cries, the call disconnecting. Flying desperately to Coney Island only to find Peter crumpled and bleeding on the beach. Rushing him to the compound, begging him to stay with her.
Natasha squeezed her eyes shut, willing the memories away. She would never forget those agonizing hours spent fearing she would lose her only child. Her sweet, stubborn, heroic child, who continued putting himself at risk no matter how much she worried.
Opening her eyes, she realized tears were running down her cheeks. Angrily she brushed them away just as the coffee maker beeped. She poured herself a strong cup and went to sit on the couch, cradling the warm mug tightly.
The nightmares had plagued her frequently ever since that fateful homecoming night two weeks ago. Most nights she managed to hide it from Peter, not wanting him to feel guilty. But she was exhausted from the lack of sleep and distressed that the awful visions refused to fade.
Sighing, she took a sip of the bitter coffee, hoping the caffeine might keep the dark thoughts at bay. She tried to focus on the fact that her son was safe and recovering well thanks to his healing factor and Dr. Cho's treatment. But the haunting images invaded her mind once more...
Natasha wasn't sure how long she sat there wrestling with her inner demons. But suddenly she heard soft footsteps behind her.
"Mom?" Peter's voice was raspy with sleep. "What are you doing up?"
Natasha twisted around to see him squinting at her groggily, hair sticking up in every direction.
"Sorry sweetheart, did I wake you?" she asked.
Peter shook his head, coming to sit beside her on the couch. "No, I just randomly woke up and heard you out here. Is everything okay?"
Natasha managed a wan smile. "Yeah, everything's fine, baby. Just couldn't sleep."
Peter eyed her critically in that way he had inherited from her, seeing far more than she wanted him to. "You had another nightmare, didn't you," he stated. It wasn't a question.
Natasha opened her mouth to deny it, but the look on Peter's face stopped her. He would see right through her lie. Why wouldn't he? He's literally the son of a spy. She sighed.
"Yes," she admitted reluctantly. "They just keep happening, ever since that night." She stared down into her coffee, unable to meet her son's worried gaze.
"Oh, Mom," Peter said softly. He slid closer and wrapped his arms around her. Natasha clung to him, tears burning her eyes again.
They sat like that for several minutes, Peter just holding her comfortingly. Finally Natasha pulled back, wiping her eyes.
"I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean to worry you," she said.
Peter grabbed her hand, looking far older than his 15 years. "No need to apologize, mom. But, you don't need to hide this from me," he said seriously. "I want to help you, the way you've always been there for me. How many times have you comforted me after a nightmare? You're my Mom, I should do the same thing for you. I love you."
Natasha's heart swelled with love for this kind, caring boy. "I know, baby. I love you too," she said thickly. "I just hate for you to feel responsible, when none of this was your fault."
Peter shook his head stubbornly. "If anyone's to blame, it's me. I'm the one who went after Toomes without backup, without a real plan. And it's my reckless choices that haunted you. I should've called you or Mr. Stark before I went in there swinging." His voice caught on the last words.
"No, my baby." Natasha cupped his cheek. "You were only trying to help people, to do the right thing. I'm so proud of you for that. My nightmares are my own issue to manage, not yours to fix or feel guilty over."
Peter didn't look convinced, but he finally nodded. They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Peter asked finally. "The nightmares, I mean. Might help to get it out."
Natasha considered refusing, trying to shield him. But he was right, it would probably help. Slowly, haltingly, she described the visions that tormented her. Peter dying on that beach. Peter bleeding out in her arms on the way to the compound. Peter devastated after losing his suit and locking himself in his room.
By the time she finished, fresh tears were coursing down her face. Peter hugged her again, gentler this time.
"It's okay, Mom, just let it out," he murmured. They sat like that until Natasha's tears slowed, leaving her feeling drained but also a little lighter.
Peter brushed the remaining tears from her cheeks. "I know those nightmares were awful," he said softly. "But it wasn't real. I'm still here, I'm okay. And I'm not gonna stop helping people and fighting bad guys. But I'll be more careful from now on. I don't want you to have to go through something like that again."
Natasha gave him a watery smile. "Unfortunately I don't think I can ask you to give up being Spider-Man. It's too much a part of who you are. But I appreciate you being more cautious. And I certainly hope we never have to relive that night."
She took a deep breath. "Thank you for listening baby, and for being here. It helped more than you know."
Peter hugged her again. "Anytime, Mom. I'm always here for you, whatever you need." He stifled a yawn, making Natasha smile fondly.
"Let's try to get a little more sleep," she suggested, running a hand through his hair.
Peter nodded agreeably. Natasha washed out her coffee cup and followed Peter back to their rooms.
At his door, she pulled him into one more long hug. "I love you so much," she whispered fiercely. "My sweet, brave boy."
"Love you more, Mama." Peter mumbled into her shoulder.
Finally Natasha released him to crawl back under his covers. She watched him snuggle into bed, looking much younger than his years. With a soft smile she pulled his door mostly closed and returned to her own room.
Settling back under the blankets, she could feel some of the lingering fear and tension ease from her body. The nightmares would likely continue to come and go. But knowing Peter was there for her, that she didn't have to hide her struggles, made the burden feel lighter. Within minutes she was asleep, the rest of the night thankfully dreamless.
Over the next week, they fell into an easy routine. During the day when Peter was at school, Natasha kept busy with SHIELD missions and training. In the evenings they cooked dinner together and caught up on their days.
The nightmares came less frequently, but when they did, Natasha would get up and make some tea and Peter would emerge a few minutes later. They would sit together quietly or talk it through until Natasha felt grounded again. Peter never pushed her to discuss them, but made it clear he was always ready to listen.
On one particularly bad night, Natasha once again dreamed Peter had been gravely injured again on patrol, but this time didn't survive Helen's treatments. She woke sobbing into her pillow, the gut-wrenching grief still vivid.
Within a minute she heard Peter's footsteps approaching down the hall. He sat on the edge of her bed and gathered her shaking form into his arms, saying nothing but radiating soothing calmness.
Natasha clung to him until the sobs faded to hiccups, leaving her exhausted. Peter eased her back against the pillows and handed her some tissues.
"Do you want to talk about this one?" he asked gently when she had composed herself a bit.
She shook her head, not trusting her voice yet. Peter just nodded and kept holding her hand, grounding her to reality.
Finally Natasha whispered "You didn't make it again, baby. Helen couldn't save you." Her voice broke on the words.
Peter squeezed her hand. "I'm so sorry that happened, even if it was just a dream." His eyes were sad. "But I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere. Whatever that nightmare threw at us, it wasn't real."
Natasha took a deep breath, drawing comfort from his steady presence. "I know. It just felt so vivid. But having you here...it helps. Thank you."
Peter hugged her again. "Always," he said simply.
After a few more minutes of calm breathing, Peter made them both some chamomile tea. They sipped it quietly until Natasha started to nod off.
Peter pressed a kiss to her forehead as he took her empty mug. "Try to get some more rest, okay Mom?"
Natasha managed a small smile. "I'll do my best. Love you, sweetface." She was asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow, nightmare banished for the rest of the night.
Over the following weeks, the nightmares became less and less frequent. Natasha was finally able to get consistent restful sleep again. She knew a large part of that was thanks to Peter's patient support on the rough nights when the dreams did strike.
On one of her days off, she decided to make a special dinner to show her gratitude. As Peter helped her chop vegetables for stew, she turned to him.
"I realized earlier I haven't had a nightmare in over two weeks now," she told him.
Peter's face lit up. "Mom, that's so great! I'm really happy to hear that."
Natasha nodded, swallowing a sudden rush of emotion. "I know I wouldn't have gotten past them so quickly without you. Just...thank you for everything you've done. You've helped me more than you know."
Peter ducked his head, looking pleased. "You don't need to thank me. After everything you've done for me my whole life, it's the least I can do." He shrugged, giving her a lopsided smile so reminiscent of the one she'd fallen for all those years ago.
Natasha wrapped him in a tight hug, wondering how she'd gotten so lucky to have this kind, strong soul as her son.
They finished making dinner and ate together, chatting and laughing. After cleaning up the dishes, they settled onto the couch and put on Star Wars.
Curled up under a blanket, her son's steady breathing beside her, Natasha felt fully at peace for the first time since that awful night. The memories would always be with her, but she could look back knowing they had gotten through it together. And she knew without a doubt that whatever future struggles came their way, Peter would be right by her side to face them as a family.