"some days will be heavier than others"
Natasha stood silently in the corner of the cozy cabin, her eyes fixed on the teenage boy weeping in Pepper's arms. Peter's body shook with gut-wrenching sobs, his fingers clutching Pepper's shirt as if his life depended on it.
It had been less than 24 hours since Tony Stark made the ultimate sacrifice to save the universe, and the grief was still so raw, so real. Natasha's heart broke for the kid who had just lost his mentor and father figure. She knew that pain all too well.
Glancing around the room, Natasha saw her own grief reflected on the faces of her friends...her family. Steve's jaw was clenched tightly, his eyes shining. Bruce stared blankly ahead, absently wiping his glasses with the edge of his shirt. Thor gripped his axe, his troubled eyes darting around the room. Off to the side, Clint sat on the floor, his knees pulled up to his chest.
But it was the sound of Peter's cries that cut through Natasha like a knife. She had known loss in her life, more than most. But Peter...he was just a kid. A kid who had now lost too much, too soon.
Natasha crossed the room and knelt beside Pepper, placing a gentle hand on Peter's shaking back. He tensed for a moment at her touch before relaxing again, as if recognizing she meant no harm. Natasha rubbed small circles between his shoulder blades, saying nothing, just letting him know she was there.
After what seemed like hours, Peter's sobs quieted to soft hiccups. He lifted his head from Pepper's shoulder, his eyes red-rimmed and puffy. "I'm s-sorry," he stammered.
Pepper cupped his cheek in her hand. "Oh Peter, you have nothing to be sorry for."
Peter just nodded, his lower lip trembling. Natasha's heart broke all over again. She wished she could take all that pain away from him.
Pepper looked over at Natasha, her eyes filled with sorrow and a silent question. Natasha gave a small nod and opened her arms. Peter collapsed into them, fresh tears spilling down his cheeks.
"It's okay," Natasha soothed, rubbing his back again. "Just let it out."
"Why?" Peter choked out. "Why did he have to die?"
Natasha blinked back tears of her own. "I don't know," she admitted softly. "But he saved us all. He was a hero."
"I just miss him so much," Peter sobbed.
"I know. We all do." Natasha cradled the boy's head against her shoulder. She thought of Tony's little girl, only five years old, now forced to grow up without a father. It wasn't fair. None of this was fair.
They stayed like that for a long time, holding each other as Peter cried himself out. Natasha caught Pepper's eye again and saw her worried expression. She knew Pepper needed to be there for her own daughter right now.
"Hey," Natasha said gently. "Why don't we go for a little walk? Just you and me."
Peter lifted his head and nodded, scrubbing a hand across his eyes. Natasha helped him to his feet. Keeping an arm securely around his shoulders, she led the grieving boy outside into the quiet night.
The full moon illuminated the lake behind the cabin. Natasha led Peter down to the edge of the dock, and they sat with their feet dangling over the water. For several long moments, the only sound was the lapping of the water against the shore.
Finally Peter spoke, his voice hoarse. "Mr. Stark brought me here, after...after everything happened with Thanos. It was where he went with his family, when they were...you know. Gone." He sniffled, fresh tears shining on his cheeks. "He offered for me to stay here with them. I didn't want to intrude, so I said no. I wish...I wish I said yes."
Natasha's heart broke all over again for the kid. "You couldn't have known what would happen," she said gently. "But I'm sure Tony cared about you like family. He loved having you around. I could tell."
Peter was quiet for a moment. "I keep thinking he's gonna call me," he admitted softly. "Or that I'll look up and see him tinkering in his lab." He shook his head, tears slipping free once more. "I can't believe he's really gone."
Unable to stop herself, Natasha reached out and pulled Peter into her arms again, holding him as sobs once more wracked his body. She blinked back her own tears as she cradled the boy's head against her chest.
"It's not fair!" Peter cried, muffled against her shirt. "Everyone I love dies! First my parents, then Uncle Ben, and now Tony? Who's next?"
Natasha pressed her lips to the top of his head, wishing she could take away even a fraction of his pain. But she knew from experience that grief like this couldn't just be erased. It had to be felt.
"I'm so sorry, Peter," she whispered. "I'm so sorry."
Eventually his sobs quieted again, but he made no move to pull away from her embrace. Natasha continued to hold him, chin resting atop his curls as she stared out at the rippling water.
Finally Peter lifted his head. "Thank you, Natasha," he said hoarsely.
She gave him a sad smile. "Of course."
He sniffled again, wiping his sleeve across his nose. Natasha dug a crumpled tissue out of her pocket and handed it to him.
"Sorry," he mumbled, blowing his nose.
"Don't apologize." She squeezed his shoulder. "Never apologize for grieving. It takes as long as it takes."
Peter nodded, fresh tears shimmering in his eyes. "It just hurts so much." His voice broke on the last word.
Natasha wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him against her side. "I know," she said softly, resting her cheek atop his curls. "It gets a little easier with time. But you'll always feel it. You don't get over a loss like this. You learn to carry it. And some days will be heavier than others."
Peter let out a shaky breath. "How do you do it? How do you...keep going?"
Natasha thought for a moment, gazing out at the ripples on the lake. "You take it one day at a time," she said finally. "You surround yourself with people who love you. You honor their memory by living your life to the fullest." She gave him a gentle squeeze. "Tony would want you to keep being Spiderman. Keep helping people and saving lives. That's the greatest way to honor him."
Peter wiped at his eyes, considering her words. "Yeah...yeah, you're right." He managed a watery smile. "Tony really loved being a hero. I think it made him happy. Not the fame or the glory, but...knowing he helped people."
Natasha smiled softly. "He had a big heart under all that armor. He just didn't always know how to show it."
"Yeah." Peter's smile faded, eyes clouding with pain once more. "I'm really gonna miss him."
"Me too, kid." Natasha blinked back the sting of tears. "Me too."
They sat in silence for a few more minutes, shoulders touching, gazing out at the rippling lake. A light breeze ruffled Natasha's hair, carrying with it the faint smell of pine and moist earth. Somewhere out in the dark woods, a bird called out. Nature carried on, oblivious to grief. Natasha found that strangely comforting.
Finally she gave Peter's shoulder a gentle squeeze. "We should head back inside. Pepper will start to worry."
Peter nodded and got to his feet, scrubbing a hand over his face. Natasha kept an arm around his shoulders as they made their way back down the dock. But she paused as they reached the shore.
"Wait here a sec."
Leaving Peter on the beach, she climbed the steps to the cabin's porch. Through the window she could see Pepper seated on the couch, her sleeping daughter curled up under her arm. Morgan's dark curls were the spitting image of Tony's unruly mop. Natasha's heart tightened.
She tapped softly on the glass. Pepper looked up, concern creasing her brow. Natasha motioned with her head toward the sleeping child, raising her eyebrows in a silent question.
Pepper glanced down at her daughter, then back up at Natasha and nodded. Careful not to wake her, Pepper shifted Morgan into her arms and carried her to the front door.
"Hey sweetheart," Pepper whispered as she stepped onto the porch. She stroked a hand over her daughter's hair.
Morgan stirred sleepily, blinking up at her mother. "Is Petey okay?" she mumbled.
Pepper smiled sadly. "He's very sad right now. We're going to go see if we can help him feel better. Does that sound good?"
Morgan nodded, laying her head on her mom's shoulder. Pepper descended the porch steps with Natasha behind her.
Peter looked up in surprise as they approached. Natasha saw his eyes fill with fresh tears at the sight of Tony's daughter.
"Hey Morgan," he said softly.
"Hi Petey." Morgan squirmed down from her mom's arms and went over to wrap her little arms around Peter's legs.
Peter sank to his knees to return the hug, closing his eyes against a fresh wave of tears. Morgan patted his cheek with one small hand. "Don't cry, Petey."
Peter choked out a sob, pulling Morgan tighter against him. She hugged him back just as fiercely. "I'm sad too," she whispered. "I miss Daddy."
At those words, Peter finally broke down again, great heaving sobs wracking his body. Morgan held on tight, tears trailing down her own cheeks.
Natasha had to turn away, blinking back her own grief. She met Pepper's eyes and saw her own anguish reflected there. Pepper stepped forward and wrapped her arms around the two grieving children. Natasha quickly joined them.
The four of them stayed locked in that embrace for a long time, comforting each other as best they could. No words were needed in that moment. The shared grief united them more deeply than any speech could.
Finally Morgan pulled back, giving Peter a sad smile. "Daddy loved you bunches, Petey," she said softly, patting his cheek again. "He'd want you to be happy."
Peter wiped his eyes, managing a shaky smile. "You're right, Mo. Thank you."
Morgan nodded solemnly, then turned and held her arms up to Natasha. Natasha scoped the little girl up and kissed her cheek.
"We'll take care of him," she murmured to Pepper. "You two should get some rest."
Pepper nodded, brushing the hair back from Morgan's face. "Come get us if you need anything." She leaned in to kiss her daughter's forehead before turning back toward the cabin.
Morgan laid her head on Natasha's shoulder, her fingers playing with a strand of red hair. Natasha sank down beside Peter on the sand, shifting the child to sit more comfortably in her lap.
Peter gave Morgan a watery smile, rubbing a hand up and down her back. She reached out and took his hand, holding it tightly.
"I'm glad you're here, Mo," Peter said softly. "This helps."
"Me too," Morgan said around a yawn. She snuggled back against Natasha's chest.
Natasha dropped a kiss to the top of her dark curls, then reached out and pulled Peter against her side. He went willingly, settling his head on her shoulder next to Morgan's.
Natasha wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, the three of them curled together under the stars as a gentle breeze drifted off the lake. But eventually she felt Morgan's breaths deepen into sleep. Peter seemed to have drifted off as well.
Careful not to disturb them, Natasha scooped Morgan into her arms and stood slowly. Peter blinked awake, rubbing at his eyes.
"Come on," Natasha said softly. "Let's get you both to bed."
Peter trailed after her up to the cabin. Natasha carried Morgan to the room she shared with Pepper and tucked the sleeping child into bed. She placed a soft kiss to her forehead before slipping back out.
In the hallway she nearly collided with Peter, who was scrubbing at his eyes again. Natasha's heart constricted at how young and lost he looked in that moment. She wished more than anything she could take his pain away.
Instead she just opened her arms in silent invitation. Peter stepped into them without hesitation, hugging her tightly. Natasha stroked a hand over his curls.
"Thank you, Nat," Peter mumbled against her shoulder. "For everything tonight. It...it helps. Having you here."
Natasha had to blink back tears of her own. "Of course," she whispered. She gave him one more squeeze before pulling back to look at him. "Try to get some rest."
Peter nodded, eyes already drooping with exhaustion. Natasha waited until he disappeared into his room before making her way to her own for the night.
But sleep did not come easy. Each time Natasha closed her eyes, visions of the battle played across her eyelids. Tony's ravaged face and sightless eyes. The shuddering gasp of his last breath.
With a muffled sob, Natasha sat up in bed, pressing a hand to her mouth. Cold moonlight filtered through the window, illuminating the empty room. The silence pressed down on her like a weight. She had never felt more alone.
Giving up on sleep for now, she crept silently from her room and down the hallway. But she paused outside Peter's door, hearing the muffled sound of crying within.
Her heart constricting, Natasha tapped gently on the door. "Peter? Can I come in?"
"Y-yeah," came the choked reply.
Natasha eased open the door to find Peter sitting up in bed, knees pulled to his chest. Tears shone on his cheeks in the moonlight.
Wordlessly, she crossed the room and sat on the edge of his bed, pulling him into her arms. Peter broke down again, sobs muffled against her shoulder.
"I know, I'm here," Natasha murmured, rubbing his back. "Just let it out."
She held him until the storm of grief passed, leaving him slumped against her, utterly spent. Natasha stroked his hair back from his forehead.
"Try to sleep," she whispered. "I'll stay right here." Keeping one arm around him, she leaned against the headboard.
Peter snuggled into her side, eyes already drifting shut. "Thanks, Nat," he mumbled.
"Always." Natasha dropped a kiss to the top of his head, feeling his body go lax as sleep finally claimed him.
She wasn't sure how much time passed as she held the sleeping boy. But for the first time since Tony's death, her mind felt quiet. Focusing on comforting Peter seemed to ease some of her own grief, at least for now.
Dawn was just breaking when a soft sound at the door made Natasha glance up. Pepper stood there, watching them with a sad smile.
Careful not to jostle Peter, Natasha eased off the bed and tucked the blankets around him. She crossed the room to Pepper and pulled her into a tight hug.
"How is he?" Pepper asked softly when they pulled apart.
Natasha shook her head. "He's hurting. It's going to take time."
Pepper sighed, wrapping her arms around herself. "I wish I could take away his pain. And Morgan's. It's not fair for them to suffer this kind of loss so young."
"No, it's not," Natasha agreed quietly. "But we'll get them through it. However long it takes." She squeezed Pepper's shoulder. "You're not alone in this."
Pepper covered Natasha's hand with her own, eyes glistening. "Thank you," she whispered. "For being here. For Peter. Just...everything."
Natasha pulled her into another hug. Over Pepper's shoulder, her eyes fell on Peter's sleeping form, looking impossibly young and vulnerable. An unexpected surge of protectiveness rose within her.
She thought of Clint's children, who she loved like her own. How devastated she had been when she thought they were gone. Now, looking at Peter, she felt that same maternal instinct stir to life once more.
"I'll look after him," she found herself saying as she pulled back to meet Pepper's eyes. "However he needs. A mentor, a...a mother figure. For as long as he needs me. I promise."
Pepper placed a hand on Natasha's cheek, eyes shining with gratitude. "I can see how much you already care for him. And I know Peter looks up to you." She smiled sadly. "Tony would be so relieved to know Peter has you."
Emotion clogged Natasha's throat. She could only nod, hoping Pepper understood how much those words meant.
Arm in arm, they turned back to gaze at the still-sleeping boy. In that moment, Natasha knew her life had forever changed. She had a new purpose now. She would be there for Peter, protect him, guide him. She would make sure Tony's legacy lived on.
"He won't be alone," she whispered, more to herself than Pepper. "Ever again."
It was a vow, spoken from the depths of her soul. She would be Peter's mentor, confidante - a mother in every way that mattered.
Natasha blinked back tears as Pepper gave her a knowing look. No more words were needed. An unspoken promise had been made, tying their lives together.
Whatever grief still lay ahead, they would weather it as a family.
Father's Day
Natasha paused outside the bedroom door, watching as Pepper gently shook her daughter's shoulder.
"Time to wake up, sweetheart."
Morgan blinked awake slowly, peering up at her mom with sleepy eyes. "Morning, Mommy."
Pepper smoothed back the girl's wild curls. "Happy Father's Day, baby."
Morgan furrowed her little brow, as if trying to make sense of the words. Then her eyes clouded with remembrance. "Oh." She sniffled, lower lip trembling. "I can't tell Daddy happy Father's Day. Cause he's gone."
Pepper's breath hitched. "I know, sweetie. I miss him so much today too." She gathered her daughter into her arms. Morgan started to cry softly.
Natasha had to turn away from the open door, blinking back tears of her own. It had been almost a year since Tony's death, but the pain was still so raw. She could only imagine how much deeper it cut for Pepper and Morgan.
Wiping her eyes, she went to knock softly on Peter's door down the hall. When there was no response, she eased it open to find the room empty, bed made haphazardly. Frowning, she made her way to the kitchen.
Peter sat hunched over at the table, a mug of untouched coffee growing cold in front of him. His eyes were red-rimmed, hair disheveled like he'd been running his hands through it.
Natasha's heart constricted. Wordlessly, she slid into the chair beside him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Peter practically collapsed against her.
"I can't do this," he choked out. "Not today. It hurts too much."
"I know." Natasha rubbed his back. "But we'll get through it together. However you need me, I'm here."
Peter just nodded, scrubbing a hand over his eyes. They sat in silence for a few minutes, Natasha's arm still draped over his shoulders.
Finally Pepper emerged into the kitchen, Morgan perched on her hip. The little girl's eyes were red from crying, lower lip still trembling.
Pepper managed a sad smile. "There you two are. I was thinking maybe we could do something special today, to honor Tony's memory."
Morgan lifted her head from her mom's shoulder, looking thoughtful. "Like a party?" she asked softly.
"A party could be nice," Pepper agreed, smoothing back her daughter's hair. "We could share our favorite memories of Daddy and do some of the things he liked to do."
"Can we invite his friends?" Morgan's voice was small but hopeful. "So they can miss Daddy today too?"
Pepper kissed her forehead. "Of course, baby." She looked over at Natasha and Peter. "What do you two think?"
Peter scrubbed a hand over his face, looking uncertain. Natasha gave his shoulders a reassuring squeeze.
"I think it could help," she said gently. "Sharing the day with people who loved Tony. But only if you're up for it, Peter. No pressure."
Peter was quiet for a moment. Then he blew out a breath and gave a small nod. "Yeah...yeah, you're right. Tony would want us to celebrate today, not just mourn him. A party's a good idea."
Pepper smiled softly. "Then it's settled. I'll start calling the team." She shifted Morgan to her other hip. "This is going to be good. You'll see."
Natasha hoped Pepper was right. She knew today would be painfully difficult, no matter what they did. But being surrounded by loved ones would hopefully ease some of that hurt.
"I'll handle the food and decorations," she told Pepper. "You two just relax. Today is about honoring Tony."
Pepper's eyes shone with gratitude. She leaned in to kiss Natasha's cheek in a rare display of affection. "Thank you. For everything."
Natasha could only nod, throat too tight to speak. She gave Peter's shoulders one more squeeze before getting up to start party preparations. If she focused on logistics, maybe she could keep her own grief at bay. At least for today.
The hours passed in a blur of shopping, baking, and decorating. Natasha let herself get lost in the tasks, pushing down the ache of loss that lay right below the surface.
Soon cars were crunching up the gravel driveway as the guests arrived. Natasha watched through the window as Steve, Bucky, Sam and Clint climbed out, dressed casually but with solemn eyes. Behind them, a sleek sports car rolled up carrying Rhodey, Happy, and May Parker.
Natasha took a deep, steadying breath as she pulled open the front door. Time to be strong, for Peter and Morgan's sake.
The next hour passed quickly as more guests arrived - Bruce, Thor, T'Challa, Carol, Dr. Strange. The house filled with subdued greetings and bittersweet smiles. Though they came together in grief, there was comfort in community.
Out in the yard, Natasha and the team took turns sharing favorite memories of Tony. There was more laughter than she expected, accompanied often by tears - both of sorrow and joy.
"Remember when I first showed up at his place unannounced, and he just casually offered me food like I wasn't a threat?" Carol said with a sad smile. "That was so Tony."
"Or the time he called Point Break over here the strongest Avenger and I got all offended?" Bruce added. "Tony sure knew how to push buttons."
They all chuckled at the memory. It felt good to reminisce about happier times. Natasha found herself smiling more than she expected to.
After eating the feast she had prepared, Morgan shyly asked if they could watch some of her daddy's "superhero videos" together. Crammed onto couches and chairs, they spent the afternoon watching old footage of Iron Man in action.
Morgan curled in Peter's lap, utterly transfixed. "Daddy's so cool," she breathed as onscreen Tony blasted a repulsor at a villain.
Peter hugged her a little tighter. "The coolest," he agreed softly.
When the videos ended, they headed outside for an energetic game of tag - no powers allowed. Laughter and playful shouts filled the yard. Natasha had to wipe away a few stray tears as she watched Peter run around with Morgan on his back.
As dusk fell, they lit a bonfire and passed around s'mores supplies. Morgan begged Thor for a story, and he happily obliged with an exciting tale about one of Odin's great battles.
Curled up in Natasha's lap, Morgan listened with wide eyes. On her other side, Peter leaned comfortably against Natasha's shoulder. The steady pressure was comforting. Grounding.
Around the flickering fire, they swapped more stories, punctuated by laughter and sniffles. Eventually Morgan drifted to sleep in Natasha's arms. Natasha caught Pepper's eye across the fire and they shared a sad, knowing smile. It had been a good day, but the pain still lurked below the surface.
Natasha carried Morgan inside to put her to bed, Peter trailing behind. The remaining guests helped clean up outside, then slowly started to take their leave. Hugs and muted goodbyes were exchanged, along with promises to meet again soon.
When Natasha returned downstairs, only Pepper, Happy, Rhodey and May remained. Peter was slumped on the couch between May and Rhodey, eyes drooping with exhaustion.
May smoothed a hand over his hair. "I should get this kid home to bed."
"Can I stay here tonight, May?" Peter asked softly. "If that's okay with Pepper."
"Of course, sweetie." Pepper kissed his forehead before sharing a knowing look with May.
After another round of hugs, May headed for the door with Happy and Rhodey. Pepper disappeared upstairs to check on Morgan.
Alone with Peter, Natasha held open her arms. He fell into them willingly, tucking his head under her chin. She could feel the grief pouring off of him in waves now that it was just the two of them.
"Today was really nice," he said, voice muffled. "But I just miss him so much."
Natasha blinked back tears, cradling the back of his head. "I know. Me too."
They stayed like that for a long moment before Natasha leaned back to meet his eyes. "Why don't you go get ready for bed? I'll make us some tea."
Peter nodded, scrubbing a hand over his face as he trudged toward his room. Natasha busied herself heating water and steeping chamomile tea, the familiar motions soothing.
When Peter reemerged in pajamas, his eyes were red-rimmed and damp. Natasha wordlessly handed him a steaming mug before guiding him to the living room sofa. They sat pressed together, sipping tea in silence.
After a while Peter set down his empty mug on the coffee table with a shaky sigh. "I'm really glad we did this today," he said softly. "The party, sharing stories. It helped a lot. So thank you for that."
Natasha offered a sad smile. "I'm glad, Peter. We'll get through the hard days together."
He nodded, blinking back fresh tears. "I just wish I had more time with him, you know? I feel like I just got to know Tony before..." His breath hitched and he shook his head, unable to finish the thought.
Natasha set down her own mug so she could wrap both arms around him. Peter leaned into her embrace, shoulders shaking with quiet sobs. She held him close, whispering comforting words until the storm passed.
"He loved you so much, Peter," she murmured when he finally quieted. "I know he didn't say it outright very often. But I could see it in the way he looked out for you. You were like a son to him."
Peter lifted his head from her shoulder, eyes shining. "Yeah?" he asked, voice small.
Natasha cupped his cheek in one hand. "Absolutely. He was so proud of you. And if he could see the man you're becoming, he'd be even prouder."
Peter's lower lip trembled. Impulsively, he surged forward to hug Natasha fiercely. "Thank you," he choked out. "For everything you do. For being here."
Natasha had to blink back her own tears as she held him close. "Always," she whispered.
After a few moments Peter pulled back, scrubbing at his eyes. Natasha kept an arm around his shoulders.
"Why don't you try to get some sleep?" she suggested gently. "It's been a long day."
Peter nodded tiredly, but made no move to get up. Natasha shifted so he could lay his head in her lap, carding her fingers through his curls. His eyes drifted shut under her soothing motions.
She watched the shadows play over his youthful face, infinitely precious to her. Natasha hadn't expected to become a mother when she joined the Avengers. But somehow this grieving, heroic, kind-hearted boy had filled that role in her heart.
"I've got you," she whispered, though she knew Peter was already asleep. "Always."
It was a promise to both him and to Tony's spirit. She would carry on the mentorship Tony had started. She would love this child with everything in her.
Gazing down at Peter's sleeping face, Natasha finally allowed her own tears to fall. They were tears of grief, but also gratitude. Because while her makeshift family suffered a profound loss, she knew they would never be alone. Not as long as they had each other.
And that was perhaps the greatest gift Tony left them. Unbreakable bonds of love to sustain them, even through the deepest pain. They would carry his memory in their hearts until they met again.
Natasha leaned her head back against the couch, eyes slipping closed. Tomorrow would bring fresh grief, but for now she took comfort in the sound of Peter's steady breathing and the knowledge that they would face it together. For Tony, she would remain strong.
On this bittersweet first Father's Day without him, it was the greatest gift she could give.