When you are young, they assume you know nothing But I knew you’d linger like a tattoo kiss I knew you’d haunt all of my what if’s
“I just don’t see why I can’t-“
“Wade we both know you know damn well why” Matt says strongly rubbing his temples tiredly.
Wade flinches at the tone and of course Matt notices.
[Coward]
“See you're not ready.”
“But I am!” Wade complains “If I can go out in public alone then I can go to school. Plus I already passed the entrance exam!” Wade covers his mouth after realizing what he’s revealed.
[Ugg how much more stupid can you get]
{oOoOoOooOoOO we’re in for it now}
“You what!?” Matt exclames angrily
Wade takes a step back preparing himself for punishment, but swiftly takes himself out of that mindset. Now is not the time for his brain to be doing stupid things, not the time.
He briefly contemplates trying to lie, but remembers he’s talking to a human lie detector; so it would just make this harder. He sighs and starts to explain himself.
“I went online and took the entrance exam and I actually got in.” Wade emphasizes “Contrary to popular belief, I’m not a total dumbass.” Sure he cheated a little bit but no one actually cares about that, right?
{what’s the worst that can go wrong?}
[oh, I don’t know maybe GETTING TAKEN BACK TO HYDRA]
“Wade your not a dumb-“
Wade cuts him off before he can finish “And I'm gonna pay for it by myself! So you cant complain about the money!” Wade says practically pleading with Matt.
“Wade I can tell you though this out,” He can feel the inevitable rejection and tears start pricking at his eyes. He just feels so stupid. He’s handled much worse physical pain than this, so why can’t he pull himself together?
[Maybe Foggy can give you a pamphlet on how to stop being a dumbass]
{ya know that’s not actually a bad idea}
“Shut up!” He’s not in a good mood right now and the voices are definitelynot helping.
Matt looks at wade but wade just taps his forehead and Matt brushes it off
“Look is this really the best idea?” Matt continues “What if you get a teacher that yells at you? What happens if you get picked on? What happens if you get triggered by something random? What happens if… if” Matt pasuses as if he’s suddenly lost his voice. After a minute he tentatively whispers
“What happens if hydra finds you?”
Now that ticked Wade off. Matthew Murdock the smug Devil of Hells Kitchen was whispering to him as if he was some fragile thing. Like he would break if the fact that he’s traumatized is spoken aloud.
Anger erupted somewhere deep in him. He’s not a kid… well not anymore at least he’s fucking 17! He can handle himself if HYDRA tries to take him he can take them. He was trained to take them. He wants to protest but it’s Matt’s turn to interrupt. He's not finished yet.
“And I know you want Peter to remember you but we have to do this slowly. Drop hints at what happend here and there, get him to open up about what he remembers, if he remembers anything at all. We can’t have him remember everything, we just can’t, you know why” He vaguely gestures towards the air, clearly exasperated.
“That kid can barley hold himself together as it is. His brain is trying to protect him. God only knows what will happen if he’s not in a stable state of mind when he finds everything out. If there’s a repeat then of…” Matt Tralee off they both know what he’s referring to. Wades not fragile. Neither is Peter, but some things are better left unsaid.
Even tho Wade knew why, Peter didn’t and it was torture .
Almost accidentally calling Spider-Man Peter. Having to act surprised when hearing a story he’s already told him. Having to act like he doesn’t know his birthday, why he doesn’t like to celebrate his birthday, blood type, how he’s sad that he can’t have one of the fun t-shirts you get when you donate blood, favourite and least favorite foods, that he’s a Leo.
(Wades a Pisces and he definitely didn’t Google if they were compatible and if he never did that then there’s no way he ever full on squealed when he read they were bound to and I quote ‘happily fulfill each other’s not-so-secret love of romantic clichés like kissing in the rain or serenading each other under the stars’)
And that he loves Star Wars a ridiculous amount. That he has this nerdy obsession with Legos. That he sticks his tongue out slightly whenever he’s super concentrated (a trait from his childhood that he never got rid of) That he enjoys photography because it was a hobby of both of his parents. That when he got into midtown his uncle bought him a new pair of converse that he holds dear to him like a lifeline.
That he dosent know how to accept compliment and just stands there like a dear in headlights whenever you say something nice to him. That in reality he enjoys physical contact. He may flinch away at first but within moments, he’ll become putty in your hands.
That he loves stupid math and science pun t-shirts. That he wishes he had more time to read books non-school related. That he loves kids. That he’s (surprisingly considering the mop on his head) really good at braiding and cutting hair. (Wade has refused to cut his hair again till Peter can cut it for him no matter how hard it is to put his mask on) That he has the softest brown curls imaginable.
That he has certain tells for lying that are hard to decipher if you don’t know him well enough. That he has freckles, but they’re faint in the winter so you can’t really see them unless you're up close. That whenever he’s upset he does this little pout thing with his stupid heart shaped lips. Whenever he gets flustered or anxious he starts running his hands through his hair. That he hates it when he thinks you're keeping something from him.
Peter would hate this. Peter would hate everything about this .
[Peter would hate you ]
Suddenly the anger starts bubbling up into his chest.
“Peter went through the same thing I did. So why does he get to go to school when I can't?”
“Because Peter went to school before. He has friends, and a life here. He needed to go back and trust me the first months were like hell for him” Whether he admits it or not.
“Well I can make a new life here I can fake an identity, and Peter is my friend. It’s not fair you’re keeping me from him. You get to talk to him 24/7 but I haven’t seen him once!”
Matt raises an eyebrow as if he’s surprised by my statement. “He's just your friend?” He says while smirking.
[shut up shut up shut up shut up]
Wade blushes a bit of a pink tint spreading across his cheeks. It's times like these he’s glad Matt’s blind but knowing him he can probably hear the blood rushing to his cheeks. “Well- I- uggg you know what I mean!”
{Awwwwwwww}
Matt just chuckles at that but then gets serious as if a switch has flipped.
“Look wade I’m glad you have made a lot of progress in the past six months and look I’m proud of you but other kids especially high schoolers there… different there judgemental they’re eat you alive” Matt prays this is working, he was never really one for feelings - more of a tough love guy. However he’s found that he needs to be more open with his emotions or else both of his traumatized teenagers will overthink themselves into a pit they can’t get out of.
Now if Wade wasn’t already mad he sure as hell was now. “And what's that supposed to mean?” He asked accusingly.
“Wade you know i didn’t mean it like… that ” he jesters at wade.
“Yea well that is someone I’m going to have to live with for the rest of my life.” The blonde spins on his heels and storms out the door, fists clenched knuckles turning white.
{How dare he?} [How dare he!] Wade thought maybe just maybe he might not be thought of as ugly by the blind guy but no of course not. (He can probably smell cancer or some shit.) He just has to be judged by everyone In his life… well except for Peter he’s the only one who actually.. god this sounds sappy but makes him feel at home. Awful he knows.
He pulls up his hood to cover his face.
But he’s made up his mind he is not a baby, nor is he a coward. So he walks to his computer and registers for Midtown, School of Science and Technology.
[NOOOOOOOO!]
{YESSSSSSSS!}