Dear Nakia,
Bast knows where you will be when that letter reaches you. In all those years we've been friends then sisters, I have yet to know someone who likes traveling as much as you do. But as the saying goes, you don't teach an old War dog new tricks! I'm writing these words to you from a place you wouldn't expect. I'm in Wakanda, in my new residence in Birnin Zana. That's right, I'm back being a resident of the Golden City. I found a nice place where the family is happy, and the girls have immense space to roam around in all the directions. I got underwater quarters built for whenever they want to be in their element and so far, no complaint. My guess is that they're satisfied, which fills my heart with joy as a mother. They didn't have the greatest time when I told them we were not going back to Talokan after the summer holidays like we usually do. For them Wakanda is just a small interlude in time. Their home has always been Talokan City so the transition is unsurprisingly hard on them. It's also interesting enough to be noted, not easy on me. You would think that for someone like me, who has Wakanda running through her veins, it would be a breeze and a joy to come back after living outside of my dear country for over fifteen years. But things have changed a lot here and I mostly feel like a stranger, much like Nicté and Nqobilé. I find the need to reacquaint myself with the smallest things, like having the real sun shining over my head and not the glow worms that were all over my house in my cenote. I'm now somewhat intolerant to land meat and can only stomach seafood as my main animal protein of choice. I know my Border Tribe ancestors are watching me from the ancestral plane, disappointed in their daughter. Okoye, the one who dreamed of being the tip of the Spear of Wakanda, now gets sick eating buffalo meat. It wouldn't be the first time they disapprove of my life choices, but oh well. I don't regret anything. Attuma gave me to beautiful daughters and we were happy, for the most part. I can still remember the first time I saw him, his tall self walking around the streets of Birnin Zana. Young, arrogant, strong, and oh so beautiful. He didn't have much back then, but sure enough, my heart was already his.
We had a rough beginning. Do you know he still has the scar from the cut I gave him during that fight? He admitted years afterwards that he had underestimated me because when I walked in as the best young warrior Wakanda had to offer, he thought I would be an easy opponent. He learned not to low-ball me that day and I'm forever sad that the lesson didn't stay in his head. After that, he courted me relentlessly. I thought nothing of it but little did I know it was a fight he would win. He was such a charmer compared to W'Kabi. When I think about it sometimes, I think that despite my reservations, I would have moved forward with the arranged marriage to him if Attuma hadn't swept me off my feet. Funny story. Of all the people, I met W’Kabi the other day, when I went to visit my parent's farm. He looked at me with these sad eyes of his, and he’s still a very nice guy. He visited me everyday once he learned I was home, with gifts for the girls and all. My guess is that he heard about my separation and wants to see if he has a chance with me. We were walking and from the corner of my eye I caught my mother spying on us from the kitchen. I don't need to ask who told him about my situation. She was always very iffy about Attuma, much like the rest of my family. She's not gloating that I'm soon to be divorced but she's glad that I don't live underwater anymore. She always complained about how the lack of sun exposure made me too pale and lamented my growing inability to eat her meat stews. Even though she tried to make me admit it, I will never agree that it was a mistake because the children that I had with him are the center of my life. You should see her with the girls. It is so obvious they adore each other. It mirrors the relationship they have with their other grandmother. I miss her everyday. Without her love and her support, I would have never stayed in Talokan that long. My mother and her didn't see eye to eye about my wedding with Attuma but mama trusted her to take good care of me so far away from her. And she did. She did until she couldn't do it anymore. What a woman. When I told her about my plan, she was devastated but she understood why I needed to do this. I hope she's not too mean with Yuritzi now that I'm gone. The helplessness she felt when it all went down evolved into a silent anger that she directed at her. Bast knows I wanted nothing more but to let her release her wrath at that woman, but my conscience wouldn't allow me. Yuritzi, Abi and I are all victims of an archaic world that is made by men for men. We're all dealing with the cards we're dealt as best as we can. I just happen to be the one with the better hand.
I know you've been vocal about your disdain for Attuma ever since he made that awful decision and ever more vocal about your disapproval with mine. Maybe too much time underwater and my faith in him had blinded me and made me forget that you Nakia, daughter of Yaa, always saw things for what they were way before everyone else. I wouldn't have believed you, even if you had come back from the future with a detailed spreadsheet of everything that ended up happening. Because how could I have believed that the man who fought his whole family for me, the man who dried my tears every time we had a miscarriage, the man who looked at me like I was more precious than vibranium itself, would betray me? I trusted him to fight for me like I fought for him. Bast knows I went to war for him. My father, my mother, my uncle, the council, hell. Every person that expressed discontent about our relationship encountered my ire. But when I decided to lead the diplomacy efforts in Talokan instead of getting further in the ranks of the Dora is when it really became a State issue. My father still maintains that had I continued in the Dora, I would have become the General and not Ayo. That would have been nice but it wasn't my path. Attuma was the breath of fresh air I needed at a time where I felt suffocated by the expectations of everyone else. He gave me freedom when I felt weighed down by the invisible chains of tradition and family. His arms were my shelter in the middle of the storm I caused. He was everything to me when I needed him. And maybe it was my mistake, to rely on him so much, because when he stopped being that, I crumbled and took a long time to recover. Out of the many things that helped me through those dark times, it was your words Nakia, that carried me through. "Daughter of Nandi, never forget that he is not the sun. You are."
Take good care of yourself my dear sister. I'm impatient to see you when you land back in Wakanda one of these days.
With all my love,
Okoye
The Council meeting was just as lengthy and boring as she remembered. She smiled at Ayo in the corner, gorgeous in her golden adornments. Being the General of the Dora Milaje looked good on her friend. She was barely listening, one of the elders was deep in a long rant and nothing important that was said needed her complete attention. So she looked around the room, and noticed the new details that had been added since her last visit. The spears knocking on the ground took her out of her daydreaming. Without a surprise, she felt his gaze on him as soon as he entered the room. He sat down, opposite her as usual and it took Okoye all her might to not meet his eyes. She had chosen this date specifically because she knew he wouldn't be there, but maybe something happened and he was tipped off. The meeting was adjourned and most people left, outside of the Queen Mother Ramonda, the King T'Challa, her uncle M'Kathu, Aj K’uk’ulkan, General Ayo and her husband, Attuma. As soon as the doors closed, T'Challa started speaking.
"Thank you all for agreeing to this meeting on such short notice. I would have preferred to have it moved later but Ambassador Okoye insisted on having it today. Ambassador, would you like to remind us what the object of this reunion is?"
Okoye cleared her throat and finally lifted her head, defiant as ever, her eyes finally confronting the angry look in Attuma's for a second. She turned towards the royals and calmly said, "I asked all of you here to talk about my divorce."
Everyone in the room turned to Attuma, who outside of grappling the arm of his chair tighter, didn't move an inch, steady focused on looking at his wife. T'challa motioned for her to continue.
"After sixteen years, I came to the conclusion that my marriage with the Great Shark of Talokan, Nacom Attuma, has come to a dead end. Therefore, I ask for us to be able to part ways officially. I will leave my position as Ambassador of Wakanda to Talokan and start a new one in the Royal Administration here in Birnin Zana. My relationship with Nacom Attuma gave us two beautiful daughters that we both will continue to raise and cherish amicably as they're both our main focus."
T'challa nodded. He turned towards Attuma. "Nacom Attuma, any words about Ambassador Okoye's statement?"
"I agree with her." The whole room gasped. Okoye looked at him, the anger in his eyes burning brighter than ever. "We will continue to raise and cherish our daughters in our home in Talokan, where we will remain husband and wife like we have been for sixteen years. Whatever issues we face, we will work through together and remain happily married."
Okoye sighed. "Attuma, please-"
"Do you know, dear wife, how HUMILIATING it is to receive word that you're asking for divorce from a note, while I'm on a training mission with my troops? Am I not worthy of the courtesy to be informed from the doom of my marriage in person, from the person I'm married to?" His loud voice echoed through the whole room. He stood up from his seat and started walking towards his wife, unable to contain his feelings any longer. He was stopped in the middle of the room by Ayo, loudly thumping the bottom of her spear on the ground, her deadly stare pointed at her fellow General. Her warning was clear : stay away from her. He returned to his seat, his breath heavy from his anger, his hand running all over his mouth, throwing daggers at Okoye with his eyes. Namor tapped him on the shoulder, a sign he was the one who would do the talking on behalf of his general.
"Ambassador, I think all the people present in this room are well aware that you and my Nacom are encountering some issues in your relationship. And while we empathize with your current misfortune, we don't think that a divorce is the solution. We'd rather you two figure out a new path and continue this relationship that has been fruitful throughout the years."
"Aj K’uk’ulkan, I disagree. Attuma and I have spent the last years navigating intense hardships and while I would want nothing more than to stay married to him, I have come to the conclusion that the differences are simply irreconcilable at this point. Therefore, I'm not asking for divorce but merely announcing it. My decision is final."
Namor shook his head in disbelief. "The Talokanil tradition doesn't allow you to do such a thing. You cannot leave your husband on a whim like that."
M'Kathu scoffed, the whole room turning to look at him. "In Wakanda, as soon as a woman wants to be divorced, as long as she does so in an official manner in front of a council of people including her family members and her spouse's family members, the divorce cannot be denied. This is our tradition, and this meeting is Okoye's way of following it." Namor was about to speak when M'Kathu raised his hand as a way to indicate that he wasn't done with his speech. "As far as describing her decision to leave her husband as "on a whim", I would advise the King of Talokan to choose his words carefully when it comes to my niece. Okoye is many things, and like any other humans, not devoid of flaws. But she's anything but careless, and certainly not a quitter. If she came to us with this motion, it means that she had explored all her previous options, had carefully weighed the pros and cons of each of them, and made her choice with all of it in mind. And all this talk about tradition," he waved his hand in disdain as he pronounced the word, "I remember you being in that room eighteen years ago, convincing King T'Chaka that we could make exceptions to those, when it was about arguing for the marriage between your Nacom and my child. So spare me the outrage." He leaned forward in his chair and looked at Okoye, who was very much surprised by her mother's brother defending her with such force. M'Kathu was more often than not very harsh, and not prone to affectionate gestures of any kind, even though she never doubted his attachment to her. "Intombi, you have my support. And because I'm here as a representative of our family and our Tribe, you have their support too." He sat back, a deep satisfied grin on his face. It took all of Okoye's strength to stop her tears from falling, moved by this unexpected backing.
Namor looked at his fellow King, who himself was exchanging looks with his mother. Ramonda nodded and her son glanced at Namor.
Attuma called on his wife, his voice choked up. "Okoye, I understand all that but we need a new meeting, there's no representative from my family and-"
"Aj K’uk’ulkan is father to every person in Talokan. And your mother already acknowledged my decision, on behalf of your clan. This meeting is completely valid to act on our divorce." The calm and detached voice she used to convey these new informations shocked him as much as the essence of what she was saying, she could see it in his face.
Attuma, panicked, turned to Namor, who was also at a loss for words. The God King of Talokan took a deep breath before turning to T'Challa. "Considering the information we just received, I see no valid reason to disagree with what Okoye is asking for. I will make sure that it is acknowledged in our Codex that Okoye of the Border Tribe, daughter of Madiba and Attuma of Talokan, son of Cadmael are no longer married."
T'Challa took a look around the room. "Thank you, Aj K’uk’ulkan. Does anybody else have anything to add in regards to the object of that meeting?" The resounding silence answered for him. "General Ayo, make sure that the status of Ambassador Okoye is updated in our national database, from married to single. This meeting is now adjourned. May all of you have a great day." T'challa stood up to leave, with Namor joining his side, the two men immediately entering a deep conversation. Attuma stayed in his seat, his eyes stuck on his wife, both engaging in a staring contest that only rivaled in intensity with their first ever fight. Okoye couldn't see anger in his brown eyes anymore. They were glistening with other emotions. Sadness, hopelessness, guilt maybe, but what she had no issue recognizing was the love. Attuma looked at her like she was the most precious thing in the world and while she was moved and happy to see that look in his eyes, it was beyond late now. She was done with him. She saw him shed a tear and then abruptly stand up to leave the room. She stood up as well and her uncle M'Kathu came and hugged her without a word, before exiting the room. She was left with Ramonda and Ayo, who both looked at her intensely. Ramonda was the first to speak, her charismatic voice loud and clear.
"You were brave today Okoye. It was a tough decision to make but you did it. And to think that you once told me that the spirit of the Dora in you was gone. Foolishness. What you accomplished today was possible only with the precision and the skill of an experienced warrior. I am proud of you. Your new life begins now. Welcome back home." Okoye could only nod as the Queen nodded back. Before she exited the room, she addressed Ayo, who was standing behind her. "General, you can stay. I will go straight to my quarters. The Palace escort will suffice." As soon as the doors closed, Ayo dropped her spear and ran to her friend and gathered her in her arms as Okoye fell to the ground weeping her soul out.
"You did it Okoye. You did it. It's over now."
Half an hour later, Okoye was calm and on her way to her office inside the Citadel. She had straightened up as much as she could after crying so much. She was eager to get back to her office and clean up better. As she approached her office, the young Dora acting as her assistant ran towards her, scared. Okoye frowned in reaction. The young woman arrived in front of Okoye and immediately looked at the floor, her eyes watery and her hands shaking holding her spear. "Ambassador, my apologies, I tried but-"
"What's going on?"
"He insisted to come into your office and I tried to bar him entry but-"
"Who are you talking about?" Okoye inquired, as she walked faster to her office doors, the noise of her heels clacking on the palace floor.
"Your husband, Ambassador. Nacom Attuma." uttered the young lady running behind her.
Okoye stopped in her tracks at the mention of his name. She turned around and put a hand on the Dora's shoulder. "Amina, don't worry. You will not be reprimanded or punished for his intrusion. I want you to go to your office and wait for me there. Understood?"
Amina nodded and crossed her arms on her chest before leaving. Okoye reciprocated the gesture and took a deep breath before entering her office. Queen Ramonda talked about her bravery during the meeting, but it was now that she was going to need it the most.
She found him looking at the various pictures of her daughters that were on the walls. From their birth to now, she had displayed them in her office. She stood next to the closed door, her arms across her chest, without a word. She knew he was aware of her presence.
"They grow up so fast… I'm looking at all these pictures and it feels like just yesterday that we brought Nicté home." Okoye stayed silent, observing him carefully. He finally turned around and to her surprise, he was smiling. "Do you remember why I wanted her to be named Nicté?"
Okoye sighed and walked to her desk. "Attuma, please. I don't want to do this."
"Okoye, indulge me just this once. Do you remember?"
She rolled her eyes and started sorting papers on her desk before answering, her eyes away from his massive body. "You wanted her to be a symbol of our love, that was blossoming with her arrival, like a flower. Nicté."
Still fixated on the picture wall, he continued, pensive. "We were so happy back then. Young, married, and finally parents. The world was ours to take. We had so many dreams for her, and for us." He lowered his head and looked at her, shaking it. "Now it feels like I've stepped into a nightmare."
She couldn't help but smirk at his remark, and he noticed. "Did I say something funny?"
She realized her mistake and straightened up immediately. "Attuma, say what you want to say and leave. I have work to do, and I'm sure you do too. You were supposed to be away training."
He approached her desk and sat in one of the chairs, facing her. "I was also supposed to come back to my family after training, but that won't happen. Since you blindsided me with a divorce."
"You have a family waiting for you in Talokan, if I'm not mistaken.", she quipped without missing a beat.
He shifted on his seat and put his hands on his thighs. "I mean you and our daughters. I'm not talking about-"
"So they're not your family now? Is that what you're saying? That poor woman and the three sons you gave her, they're not your family?" She arched an eyebrow and glared at him.
"Okoye, stop with this, you know it's not the same with her. I didn't choose her like I chose you." He stared back at her.
Okoye couldn't contain her laugh. "You didn't choose her? That's the funniest joke you said in years, Attuma. I didn't choose her" She repeated mimicking his voice. "That's news to me, because in the past five years, it seems to me that you chose her and only her each time." The hurt would be heard in her voice but she wasn't mad about it. He needed to know.
"Is this what this divorce is about? I thought we were past that. You promised you would try and that we would start again. You lied to me Okoye!" He slapped his hands on her desk, his voice loud again in anger.
She responded in kind, dropping the stack of papers she held before screaming. "You want to talk about lying? Being blindsided? Broken promises? Isn't that what you did when you brought that woman into our marriage?" His eyes widened in shock, he wasn't used to Okoye raising her voice with him. "Did you forget how I learned about it? Your sister came to my house to congratulate me for being such a good wife to you, talking about how she would have had a hard time accepting her husband marrying a second wife. She smiled in my face, thanking me for my selflessness and my big heart and how she was so happy her brother got such an understanding spouse. When I asked her what she was talking about, she gleefully told me about the lavish wedding ceremony you had with Yuritzi and even showed me pictures. When you had left two days prior to her visit, you told me you had a wedding to attend on behalf of your clan but you were careful to not mention it would be with you as a groom. And you came back like nothing happened. For a week, Attuma, a whole week, I watched you kiss me, make love to me, hold our children, knowing full well you were lying to me, that you had betrayed me. After all this, YOU have the GALL to talk about being blindsided, being lied to? HOW DARE YOU?" She was so full of rage she was shaking. Attuma was stunned into silence.
He slowly rose out of his seat as he spoke. "Okoye, we… We already talked about all of this. I already apologized, how is it still relevant to our situation? You acknowledged all of this, I explained to you why I had to marry Yuritzi and you said you were okay with all of it! You cannot turn around and tell me that this is why you want to divorce me! I denounce this hypocrisy!"
"I did it because I loved you! I was so in love with you, I was so. utterly. consumed by my love for you that I would have accepted anything to stay with you, don't you understand?!" She got close to him and dug her index into his chest. "And you knew this, and you took advantage of it."
Attuma shook his head and took a step back. "No, no. It's too easy to put all the blame on me. You had a choice. I gave you a choice. You chose to stay, and that's what you did. I didn't take advantage of anything."
"I chose you Attuma. I stayed because of you.” Tears started flowing down her cheeks and she kept talking in between sobs. "Not because of the kids, not because of my job, not because I was scared to walk out. I stayed because I chose you. There was no other option for me. There was only you. But you chose everyone else but me. You chose your family, you chose that Bast forsaken tradition, you chose Yuritzi. Everyone but me."
He looked down, ashamed. "What was I supposed to do? Go against my clan? Yuritzi was supposed to marry my cousin but he died at war. Not marrying her would have caused so many issues, I couldn't have let it happen. The arrangement predated even my birth. My hands were tied!"
She chuckled. "You couldn't go against your clan? Attuma, son of Cadmael, Breaker of the Oceans, Nacom of Talokan, the right hand of K’uk’ulkan himself, you, out of all people, couldn't go against your clan? You want to tell me that your King couldn't have figured out a way to ease you out of that situation, if only you had asked?" She turned around to face the window and sat down on her desk. "I was so wrong about you. I saw you stronger than you really are."
He appeared in front of her, his face showcasing panic like it did previously in the throne room. He grabbed her hands and kissed her knuckles, her palms and her wrists. His eyes were glistening and the urgency could be felt in his tone. "No. No. You were not wrong about me. We can fix it. I will talk to Aj K’uk’ulkan, I will talk to my father. They will find a loophole to get Yuritzi to leave and we will be together again. I will do everything in my power to get you back Okoye. I love you. Please come back home. Please. Please."
Okoye tried to push him away. He put her hands on his face and leaned down to put his forehead against hers. In a whisper, he declared : "My love for you is deeper than the Mariana trenches, stronger than vibranium, bigger than the galaxy. I will love you until death tears us apart and even then, I would crawl through both Xibalba and the ancestral plane to be with you. From now on, you are my family, you are my home, you are my heart outside of my body. You are the sun. I love you, my beautiful Okoye." She felt his tears drop on her hands as he recited the vows he told the day they got married and she teared up hearing these words that now seemed so meaningless.
"It's too late my love…" she murmured, her lips so close to his she could feel his heaving breath.
"Okoye, please. It doesn’t have to be..."
She kissed him and for a moment, time was suspended. There was no divorce, there was no Yuritzi, there were only two people in love being intimate. The kiss continued until he lowered his hands to her waist and held her body against his. The heat of the extended contact between them brought Okoye back to her senses and she pushed him away from her before standing up and going on the opposite end of the desk, away from him. She looked down at her immaculate black pointy heel as she told him, "We've been dead for a long time Attuma. The moment you accepted to enter that marriage with her, without consulting me, we started dying. Unfortunately for you, I just realized it sooner and I'm willing to give us the mercy of the hunter, because we both deserve better."
He tried to approach her again and she held her hand up to stop him. "Please leave. I have to get back to work." He stopped in his tracks and pleaded with her with his eyes but Okoye made sure to not look at him directly, even though she could see him in the window reflection. He called out her name three times, without ever getting a response. He nodded, finally taking the cue to leave. As he lowered the door handle, Okoye spoke to him. "The girls would be very sad to learn that you came here without seeing them so if you have time, I can arrange for you to visit them."
"It would be very kind of you to do so." His voice was cold and devoid of any notable emotions but hopelessness.
"My assistant next door will help you with the transportation. Just tell her I sent you."
He nodded and exited the room. As soon as he closed the door, Okoye released a breath that she didn't even know she was holding. She stepped into her private bathroom to refresh her appearance then came back to her desk and got back to sorting the various documents in front of her.
5 years later
Nakia was seated in a corner, watching the people mingle at the party. It was the official introduction of her son as the Crown Prince of Wakanda. Toussaint was alongside his father, being introduced to all the important people of both nations. At fifteen, he was almost as tall as his father and they smiled the same large smile with the signature front gap. Her eyes wandered and she saw Okoye with her eldest daughter, Nicté talking with W'Kabi. As the Elder representing the Border Tribe at the Council, Okoye was wearing a sumptuous attire made with the signature dark blue fabric, accessorized with silver jewelry. W'Kabi and Nicté were also wearing the Border Tribe colors, even though they were more modest than Okoye. She watched as her friend laughed at W'Kabi's jokes, gently hitting him on the shoulder in the process. They were discreet but to the trained eye, it was clear that they were intimate in some way. The familiarity, how he knew exactly what she wanted to drink and eat, the way they finished each other's sentences… Something was going on between them but knowing her friend, she wasn't ready to talk about it yet so Nakia wouldn't ask questions before Okoye deemed it safe to share. She sipped her glass of spiked bissap and her eyes landed on Attuma. He was like a sore thumb among the crowd, taller than everyone except M'Baku. She found him staring and when she followed his gaze, it brought her back to Okoye.
"He will never get over her." Nakia almost jumped out of her spot at Namora's words. The other Nacom was stealth and very often appeared out of nowhere. "Do you know he still lives in the house he shared with her? He maintains it exactly like she did, it's like a museum in there. He says he does it so the girls maintain a sense of familiarity when they visit him but it's false. It's because he wants to feel her presence."
"How does his wife feel about this?" Nakia asked.
"Yuritzi ? I'm sure she hates it, but she would never say a word about this to him. She will forever do everything in her power to please him and gain his favors but it will never happen. His heart will always belong to Okoye. And she knows it, but what can she do?"
Nakia took a sip of her drink and looked at the beautiful Talokanil woman who was next to Attuma, watching him look at Okoye from afar.
Namora continued. "I warned him not to marry her. I told him that maybe he was a man that could have many women, but Okoye wasn't a woman that could share her husband. He didn't listen. Now he always has that sad puppy look whenever she's around. Ridiculous."
Nakia turned towards Namora. "I thought you would have been glad he married someone else. You never liked Okoye."
Namora shrugged. "I still don't like her, but much like vibranium only can break through vibranium, only Okoye can handle Attuma. He needed a strong wife that would challenge him and hold her ground against him. He chose the easier route and now he's condemned to watch her with someone else."
“I think that’s sad.”
Namora scoffed. “For who? Your friend looks happy with that man. As for Attuma, I don’t feel sorry for him. What is that surface world saying… Make your bed and lay it in. He’s tucked in perfectly.”
A Talokanil soldier came to Namora and murmured something in her ear, prompting her to excuse herself and leave Nakia. Toussaint’s mother stayed seated, thinking about Namora’s words. She took a deep breath and went back to letting her eyes wander around the room, until she saw T’Challa and Ororo together. She stared as she continued to slowly sip her drink.