Peter Parker
Peter, watching the news: Someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today!
Gwen: *walks in covered with ink* Well, maybe the squid was being a dick.
Peter: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.
Gwen: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.
Peter: Absolutely not.
Peter: So what do you do?
Gwen: I work in genetic research, and I'm currently trying to eliminate all Cancers.
Peter: Wow, impressive.
Gwen Stacy: Then I'll move on to Leos.
Gwen: What’s up guys? I’m back.
Peter: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally saw you die.
Gwen: Death is a social construct.
Gwen, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him
Miles: You did WHAT–
Peter: William Snakepeare
Peter: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?
Gwen: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-
Miles: Smad.
Peter: There are two types of people
Gwen: I trust Peter.
Miles: You think he knows what he's doing?
Gwen: I wouldn't go that far.
Peter: We need a distraction.
Gwen: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?
Miles, whispering: My time has come
Miles: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?
Gwen: I'm a knife.
Peter, from across the room: They're the little spoon.
Kate: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.
Peter: Kate no.
Yelena: Mistlefoe.
Peter: Please stop encouraging her.
Peter: If you had to choose between Kate and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?
Yelena: That depends, how much money are we taking about?
Kate: Yelena!
Peter: 63 cents.
Yelena: I'll take the money.
*Peter and Kate sitting in jail together*
Peter: So who should we call?
Kate: I’d call Yelena, but I feel safer in jail
Kate: Why are you on the floor?
Peter: I'm depressed.
Peter: Also I was stabbed, can you get help, please.
Peter: You have to apologize to Kate
Yelena: Fine.
Yelena: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.