Chapter 2
Peter woke up abruptly by his grandfather shaking him. Still groggy from sleep, he hadn’t really registered his grandpa’s words when he told him a spaceship just landed in their backyard. Once the lights lit up his room he finally shot up and rushed out, telling his grandpa to stay put.
The Guardians hadn’t contacted him about any meeting and as far as he’s aware no one else knows of his current residence on Terra. He throws on the first pair of pants and shirt he sees and steals his grandpa’s slides. When he reaches the front door, he realizes he’s completely unarmed and grabs whatever weapon is closest to him: the baseball bat in the closet.
He runs as fast as he can, but the slippers prove to not be an ideal choice of footwear as he continuously nearly trips over his own feet. He halts his pace and slowly approaches the ship, considering that they could very well be here to do harm.
Then she walks out and his world stops.
“—Ello, Quill. Quill!”
“Huh?” He snaps out of his thoughts as he hears her voice. She told him he wasn’t dreaming, but he finds it hard to believe. The grogginess is definitely gone now, but the sheer panic and confusion from the rush of his waking up is making his head spin.
The sight of her only makes it worse. He has never been able to get used to looking at her, but now when he’s been starved for so long it’s overwhelming. She’s so beautiful. Beautiful as always. Spending four years of their lives together has only made him more convinced that it is physically impossible for Gamora to look anything but.
It’s been weeks since he last saw her again and he hasn’t stopped thinking about her. The amount of time he’s spent staring at his holo, waiting for a message from her, is quite embarrassing and something he much rather never confesses to anyone. Although he realizes she might be aware of this considering how quickly he responded to her message a few days ago.
He knows she can hear his heart race, but he also knows she’s unaware of his knowledge. He feels a bit dizzy almost, completely overwhelmed with everything that’s happening right now.
“Quill?” She takes a step closer to him and she’s now close enough for him to wrap his arms around her. He tightens his grip on the bat, trying to ground himself and not scare her away immediately. Of course this makes her step back again and her hand instinctively moves to the hilt of her sword.
He swings both his arms up to appear harmless, nearly whacking himself in the face with the bat. “I…” He starts, but even his usual rambling is too much for him right now. He wants to ask so much, say so much, he doesn’t even know where to start.
Gamora decides to put him out of his misery. She smirks and points to the bat, “Is that your newfound preference in weaponry?” She teases, “Or is that how far Terra’s weapon development is?”
Peter flushes as he follows her line of sight to the bat and quickly drops it. “No!” He squeaks out, suddenly embarrassed by his current appearance. His hands fly to his hair and he desperately tries to push it down into any sort of look. He fails, of course. His hair hasn’t been this long ever and he finds himself also slightly insecure about the length of his beard.
Truthfully, he has been doing better, especially after seeing Gamora again. It gave him both a sense of closure and a new sparkling hope for at least something between them again. Nonetheless, he still fails epically at taking care of himself, both mentally and physically. Even while he was still together with Gamora, he always put an effort into his appearance. Not that she ever claimed to dislike him otherwise, he still wanted to impress her.
That feeling hasn’t left, so for her to be seeing him like this is definitely embarrassing. “Look, it’s the middle of the– I was sleeping! My grandpa came and was like ‘Pete there’s a spaceship’ and I’m not thinking straight, right? Like I just woke up and also spaceships were totally normal for me for the majority of my life and–”
Gamora stops, or more like pauses, his rambling by laying a hand on his arm. “Quill.” She sets his skin ablaze, the mere touch of her bringing him to tears. He quickly blinks them away and clears his throat, not wanting to make her uncomfortable.
Her hand is cold and he realizes she must be as well. It’s nearing fall season and the temperature has been dropping during the night. Gamora has always run cold, he knows this. She had told him before that her people aren’t used to low temperatures and that her planet used to be a nice, warm and comfortable temperature at all times.
He has so many questions for her, but he pushes his own needs aside for her. “Hey, how about we head inside? It’s a lot more comfortable there.” He doesn’t move, though. He doesn’t even think of moving away from her touch. Not like last time. Her touch is grounding now, in contrast to the panic he felt the last time.
Gamora, unfortunately, does. She nods and goes back to the ship. For a minute Peter feels his heart racing even faster than before and he can already tell his eyes are welling up again. He rushes to follow after her, going inside the ship. The fear of her leaving again when he just got her back too strong for him to ignore. He truly has no idea how long she’s even planning on being here. Or why. He’ll ask once they’re inside, he decides.
Gamora looks back at him quizzically and slowly grabs her bag. Peter lets out a sigh of relief, his body untensing again. She was just getting her bag, he muses. When he suddenly realizes what exactly that means, he doesn’t even bother fighting the huge smile on his face. He does manage to fight the urge to jump from happiness, or at least partially as he straightens up way too quickly and ends up hitting his head.
He curses, for what is this ship so damn small? But the throbbing in his head goes away when he hears Gamora’s voice again. “Are you okay?”
Peter’s smile returns, “Of course!” He lets her walk out first, “Do you need me to carry anything for you?”
Gamora merely grunts in response and moves past him. His smile only widens at that. It’s really not something typically Gamora, but definitely typically Ravager. He’s told her he used to be a Ravager as well, but has long since let go of their manners. Or lack of. Perhaps it’s about time he brings some of them back now, though. The non disgusting ones at least. Ravager or not, he knows Gamora hates filth.
He does a little jog to catch up with her, “This way.” He says and she follows him to his grandpa’s house. Peter can’t help but steal a few glances at her, he’s missed everything about her so much. Just being this close to her is making him so happy.
“Are you sure I will not be intruding?” She turns and definitely catches him staring at her.
He feels his cheeks flush again, “Of course not!” He says perhaps a little too enthusiastically.
She remains unsure and analyzes his face to see if he’s lying. He wants to tell her right away that she doesn’t need to do that. He’d never lie to her and even if her fear or insecurities get the best of her she’s always free to ask for reassurance.
Peter refrains for now. It’s too soon to be throwing all of that at her, he knows she still struggles plenty with trust and honesty. It’ll take time. Time which he’s more than willing to spend on her. “Seriously, Gamora. I meant it when I told you you’re always welcome. Both with me here,” He gestures around them, meaning Terra, “And back on Knowhere.”
She doesn’t agree or thank him, but she also doesn’t argue, which is a huge win right now. Even if she doesn’t really trust him yet, she’s willing to at least see this through with him. She’s giving him a chance and he swears to himself to not mess it up.
They arrive at the house together shortly after and he feels a strange but not unfamiliar sense to impress her again. Strange, because none of this belongs to him, but it is his homeworld after all. He’s always wanted to show it to Gamora — he could only ever imagine returning here with her in the first place.
Peter knows earth’s technology is primitive and everything is far less advanced than many other places in the galaxy. The house is a decently sized place for two or three people. His grandpa’s car is parked in front of it and Peter considers telling her that he’s been learning how to drive properly. He doesn’t get the chance to when she beats him to it.
“This is what Terrans use for transportation?” She asks.
Gamora having small talk would probably seem like something out of mere politeness to anyone, but Peter knows she doesn’t ask questions just for the sake of it. She hates shallow small talk. If Gamora asks about something, it’s because she’s genuinely interested. Just another thing he absolutely loves about her.
He smiles and feels his heart swell with love for her, “Yeah! This one belongs to my grandpa, but I’ve been driving it too.”
Okay, so, maybe he leaves out the part where he admits he’s not very good at it yet. He’s a great pilot, but somehow cars on Earth are still a struggle for him. He doesn’t mind, though, as he likes to keep himself busy.
Gamora nods, “Very well. I am interested in piloting it.” She’s using her business voice, as Peter calls it. Her posture straight, arms crossed over her back and looking at him expectantly, as if she’s closing a deal.
He grins and he feels his heart racing again. If she wants to learn it, that means she’ll at least be staying for a while. So much from their current situation reminds him of their early dating days. The nerves, the rush of excitement and the trust combined with love he feels for her. That feeling has never stopped, but he knows it’s all new for her and that this Gamora has experienced different things. They aren’t getting to know each other after defeating Ronan, now they’re getting to know each other after saving Rocket. Gamora joined the Ravagers, Peter has helped make Knowhere a place to live. They’re both slightly different than they were, but the same at their core.
“I’ll totally teach you! It’s like super easy and you’re super awesome, so it won’t take more than a day!” His hand reaches out to nudge her, but she jumps back before he’s even made contact with her. “Sorry, habit.” He mutters, kicking himself for scaring her again. Memories of them on a balcony on Knowhere hitting him like a truck. He doesn’t want her to feel bad for the way she doesn’t trust him, even though it definitely hurts like hell. She has every right to feel this way and he understands regardless of the pain. He never blamed her for it then, so she doesn’t deserve that now either.
To Peter’s surprise, she’s wearing a little bashful smile. If it’s because of his compliment or their near touch is unsure, but it’s such a rare look on her that he feels his heart skip a beat. “Why don’t we head inside?” He asks gently.
Gamora doesn’t answer, but trails after him regardless. He watches her out of the corner of his eye. She’s looking around with curiosity and he’s happy to see her hand is nowhere near her sword. Apparently, she deemed this place as safe. Or maybe she’s just very unimpressed by Terrans when his defense weapon was a bat and he knows she could snap it in half with just a few fingers. Either way, he’s glad.
He opens the door and gestures for her to step inside, “After you, my lady.” He even does a little bow.
She rolls her eyes, her annoyance at the nickname bordering affectionate which Peter could recognize anywhere. Things that would annoy her by literally anyone wouldn’t annoy her from him. His goofy tantics had found a way into her heart, and he’s relieved to find that even now she sees the humor in it.
Gamora’s movements halt so suddenly that for a second Peter is convinced something is disastrously wrong. She’s not cautious like always, not even close. He sees the panic on her face and her hand moving towards her sword instinctively. He’s about to ask her what happened when another voice interrupts,
“Pete? Is that you?” His grandfather’s voice is loud coming from upstairs.
Peter curses and realizes he had totally forgotten about his grandpa who was waiting for him to come back. He turns to Gamora, who’s even more on guard after his curses, “That’s just my grandpa, he’s okay.” He reassures her and he watches her visibly relax a little.
“I’m okay grandpa! It was nothing, just uh… I accidentally uh.. Apparently I accidentally activated my ship! It’s okay, go back to bed!” Peter shouts back and he winces at himself when he feels Gamora jump again. They’re so close, plus her enhanced hearing, his volume was definitely not pleasant for her. Besides, his lie is absolutely terrible. But considering his grandfather’s lack of understanding of spaceships, he might have a shot at him believing it. He just really hopes his grandpa will listen to him so he has a way to sneak her upstairs. Judging by Gamora, he did listen. Peter can’t hear, of course, but she’s able to make out his footsteps or breathing probably.
Peter does hear the door close, and sighs in relief. He turns to her with an apologetic look, “Shit, Gamora, I’m sorry. I totally forgot he was waiting for me. I, uh,” his hand moves to the back of his neck and he smiles sheepishly, “I got a little distracted.” A blush forms on his cheeks.
Surprisingly, Gamora returns the apologetic look. “Nebula informed me you were staying with relatives, but I was unaware you were staying in your grandfather’s house exactly. I really don’t mean to intrude.”
It takes everything in him to not reach out to her now, to not run his hands over her arms or cradle her cheek. “You’re not intruding at all, trust me.” He steps a little closer to her, but keeps his hands firmly at his sides. “You could never.”
To his relief, her bashful look returns, and she even gives him a little smile. She enters his house and continues her curious search. He knows Gamora has always been fascinated with different cultures and has caught her reading about them often. When the Guardians did some less life threatening jobs, she liked to read into the planet beforehand. She had told him before Thanos required this, but she always preferred to learn about the planet’s cuisine, the traditions and the flora.
He trails after her silently, giving her the space she usually likes to analyze the location she’s staying in. An old habit that she never lost. Her eyes move from the door, to the kitchen and to the stairs. He wants to tell her she’s safe here and that even if she’d like to leave there is no one forcing her here. He doesn’t say any of that, though, instead he starts, “So, what do you think?”
Gamora turns back to him, she looks pleased. “It’s…. nice.” She admits. Her eyes move back to the kitchen and he watches her expression soften ever so slightly. “What is it?” He asks gently.
As expected, she tenses. Peter recognizes that she must feel caught, as if she was doing something she shouldn’t. This is hard for her, he knows, but Gamora has always been the bravest person he’s met. And she proves him right again when she answers him.
“Those flowers…” She points towards the kitchen table. A vase with a few violets is in the middle of the table. The violets are a bright shade of purple which compliments the light yellow vase. The color of the flowers remind him of Gamora’s hair tips in some lighting. It’s regularly more pink or red, but if the light is set a specific way it looks a little purple.
Everything reminds him of Gamora.
“Do you wanna take a closer look?” Peter whispers. There’s no one here but them, yet he knows how hard it is for Gamora to allow herself something. He recognizes the look on her face, the desire but fear that she doesn’t deserve to have something she wants. He wants to be a safe person for her again. He would find every violet in Missouri to give her. Every violet on Earth, actually.
Once again impressed by her bravery, he smiles when she nods. It’s hesitant, and he knows she probably won’t allow herself much more than a glimpse, but it’s a total win for him.
“Okay, let’s get closer.” He walks towards the kitchen. It creates some space for Gamora to come on her own terms, but she can also follow him right away if she’s ready for that.
He smiles gently when he hears her walk after him, “They’re called violets.” He explains.
“Like the color?” Gamora asks. “Or was the color named after the flowers?”
Peter laughs, “Actually, I have no clue.” He looks back at her and his smile widens when he recognizes the playful look in her eyes.
The kitchen is relatively small, which makes him block her view of the flowers when he’s walking through the door. He quickly moves to the side and turns back to her.
“Oh.” She breathes. He can sense she’s emotional. Gamora absolutely loves flowers and has told him many stories about the flowers on her homeworld. In return, Peter loved buying her flowers both for that reason and because he remembers seeing guys give their girlfriends flowers as a kid. Flowers weren't a common gift on all planets, so he had to get creative sometimes. He’d go search for them and design his own bouquets. At first, he was a little clumsy with it. The colors didn’t match or the length of the flowers just looked awkward together. Gradually, over time, he got better at it. Gamora never loved it any less.
She reaches towards the violets, but quickly retracks her hand as she seems to realize what she’s doing. “It’s okay. You can touch them.” He’s gentle with her as always, his voice soft.
Peter’s hand moves towards the flowers. He’s aware she’s closely watching him, which is essentially why he’s doing this. He touches the flower and turns to meet her gaze, “See?”
Gamora is still holding back, but her expression is now determined. Determined to let herself have this. He feels his heart swell. God he loves her.
She mimics him and gasps as her fingers lightly brush a violet. Her hand retracks just as quickly as before, but she did it. He has to physically put his hands on his thighs to stop his legs from running to her and wrapping her in a big hug. He’s so proud of her. She’s just too amazing.
Normally he would be telling her that, but he doesn’t want to overwhelm her right now. She’s here, with him, for some reason he still doesn’t know and is definitely planning on asking as soon as they get upstairs – but she’s here.
She turns to him, “Thank you.” Her voice laced with emotion. There’s a genuine smile on her face.
Peter feels like bursting into tears, or maybe bursting out in laughter. He’s not sure. He’s just so happy. He hasn’t felt this happy in so long.
The Guardians are his family and of course he’s happy with them. They’ve done so much for him and have been so patient, he knows how fortunate he is to have found them. But at the same time, grieving Gamora while he knew she was still out there somewhere was haunting his mind constantly. It wasn't the same without her. They were the heads of their family. Together.
He’s missed everything about her so much.
“Of course.” He smiles at her, feeling very emotional himself. He has to force the lump down his throat, crying isn’t gonna help her now. “Wanna head upstairs?”
Her eyes widen again but she nods.
“Follow me!” He exclaims, feeling excited to have her with him. He hurries up the stairs, skipping every other step. Gamora follows him while carrying her bag still.
Peter quickly scans the rooms, making sure his grandfather did actually go back to his room. He smiles as he hears snoring from the bedroom and turns back to Gamora, “There’s plenty of space here. Many rooms too.”
“Is it just your grandfather and you?” She asks and he’s absolutely delighted. She’s asking him stuff! He feels as giddy about it as he did the first time they were getting together. Four years and he’s as infatuated with her as ever.
“Yeah, just us.” He answered. “This place belongs to my grandpa, but I’ve been staying here since I came here a couple of weeks ago. This has been his house for as long as I can remember, even when I was a little kid.”
He continues before she can comment, “Here,” he opens a door to another room, “this is one of the spare bedrooms. You can stay here, or of course you can take my room. It’s right next to this one.”
She flushes slightly, “I wish to sleep alone.”
Peter, in contrast to Gamora, turns beet red. “That’s not what I meant!” His voice comes out as a squeak and an octave higher. He clears his throat, “I just meant, like, maybe you think my room is better. Like we’d switch. Like I go to this one and you go–”
“I understand.” She interrupts him. Which, fair enough. He was definitely not gonna stop rambling any time soon. “This room will surely suffice.”
Gamora walks into the room and puts her bag on the desk, Peter awkwardly trails after her. So much for not trying to scare her, he thinks. She seems to be okay, though. He knows he came on a little too strong when he first saw her again, so he plans on taking it slow now. Whatever she’s willing to give him, he’ll take. He misses the love of his life in every way, and he loves her enough to let her figure this out and come to her own decision.
He’s reminded again that he wasn’t even sure if he’d see her again. It took everything in him not to message her the moment she walked onto that ship, going back to the Ravagers. Giving Gamora space was important. And clearly it seemed to have done something as she’s very much here right now.
He still doesn’t know why, though. “Hey, uh, don’t get me wrong. I’m very glad you’re here, like super glad, but I have to ask. Why… are you here?” It comes out as awkward as he feels.
She stills, and Peter can almost hear the gears turning in her head. There’s a flash of panic on her face before she turns her back to him and he knows she’s very likely to not answer his question. He won’t push her, but he couldn’t just.. not ask her this.
The silence between them is making his mind reel and he suddenly comes to a terrifying realization that she might be here for a reason other than for her. Or him. He’s full on panicked now, “Is something after you? Are you okay?”
That makes Gamora turn her head and he feels instant relief at the look of confusion on her face. “No one is after me. Nebula and I.. talked” She looks away from him.
“Oh.” His brain isn’t really able to think of many words to say right now, too busy overthinking any reason she could possibly be here. At least she’s okay.
When she doesn’t continue, he moves further into her room at a slow pace, making sure she is able to track his every move. His voice is soft again when he speaks, “I’m glad you and Nebula have been.. talking.” He smiles at her.
He truly is glad Gamora has had Nebula for all of this. Partly because he knows how badly Gamora has wanted this for so long, but also because that means she wasn’t truly alone all this time. He selfishly wishes he was that person for her, though, and had a huge argument with Nebula about it afterwards.
Admittedly so, Nebula was right. That didn’t stop him from feeling betrayed and hurt, however. He had been completely miserable without her for so long, he’d search every planet for her. He just needed her to give him a chance.
Then he got one, and absolutely blew it.
Now, the universe has somehow magically worked in his favor and given him another chance. Because she’s here, with him, in his grandpa’s spare room. She’s getting ready to stay here. He is definitely not gonna ruin this again.
Gamora, who’s visibly grateful for the change of subject, sits down on her bed. “Me too.” She nods thoughtfully, “Nebula has done a lot for me, even if I didn’t always realize it.” She trails off and suddenly looks guilty.
The look on her face tugs at Peter’s heart as he takes his chance and sits down next to her, absolutely delighted when she lets him, before speaking up. “Hey, that’s not your fault.”
“You don’t even know what I’m talking about.” She says dryly.
Peter sighs. “Okay, true, but I don’t need to. What you’ve been through, Gamora, must be… I can’t even imagine how difficult.”
When she doesn’t answer him, he continues. It’s now or never, he thinks. “I know that I… I’ve been a total dick to you.”
“Huh?” Gamora exclaims in such an unrefined tone that he immediately knows it’s something she picked up from the Ravagers. He has to bite down on his lip to stop himself from laughing out loud. She’s adorable.
He sheepishly smiles and continues, “Like, obviously I was just trying to get you back but.. I could’ve definitely done that a lot better. And I’m sorry. I really am!” He sighs, trying to collect his thoughts and not ramble more than he already is.
“You were hurt.” Gamora says. It’s not a question, merely an observation. “I do not fault you for that.”
Peter makes a soft sound at the back of his throat, something he knows only she can hear. He’s proven right when he sees her react slightly, her eyes glancing at his lips.
“All of that stuff I said about old you being a better person and all… that’s not even true. You’re the best person I’ve ever met, Gamora. And you always will be.”
She doesn’t say anything for long enough for Peter to start worrying again. He’s aware this makes her feel uncomfortable, but she needs to know this. She deserves so much more.
“It’s hard.” Gamora eventually speaks up in a voice so quiet it makes his heart ache. “She was everything.” She says vehemently. The slight quiver in her voice makes him want to wrap her up in his arms.
“And I’m…” She doesn’t finish and Peter is almost grateful she doesn’t. He definitely wouldn’t be able to hold himself back if she did.
“Everything. Always.” He whispers.
Judging by the look on his face, she doesn’t believe him. He doesn’t blame her. After all, how could he? He’s aware he only encouraged this mindset when he first saw her again, by the way he continuously talked about her ‘old self’. He had told her she was everything to him, but she very much still is. He truly messed up. Guilt surges through him, but he forces it back down. This isn’t about him.
She also doesn’t go against him, though, so to him it’s okay for now. He can get her to believe this again, regardless of wherever that might put him. Gamora deserves more than anyone or anything in this universe can give her, and he’s gonna damn well make sure she knows this.
“What…” She starts and lets out a frustrated sigh when she seems to be at loss for words. A grunt follows before she continues, “How has it been here?”
Peter watches her. She’s clearly still feeling awkward but God she’s trying and he just loves her so much.
He smiles widely, “It’s been great! I’ve been rewatching all my old favorite movies again, finally, and I’ve been able to listen to even more music. Plus, reconnecting with my grandpa has been cool too.” He answers with genuine enthusiasm.
“What is your favorite movie?” She smiles indulgently, and Peter feels his heart skip a beat. Gamora doesn’t pretend to be interested in something she’s not.
He knows this better than anyone, of course. But during moments like this it makes everything mean so much more to him than it already did. She wants to keep this conversation going and she wants to know stuff about him. He’s absolutely over the moon.
“Only the greatest movie in history!” He stands up and does a little victory pose, as if he made the movie himself, “Footloose!”
His ridiculousness makes her snort, which is really all he needs to continue. “It’s about this great hero, Kevin Bacon who teaches an entire city full of people with sticks up their butts that dancing is the greatest thing there is.” He’s moving his hands around animatedly.
Gamora looks mildly horrified at that, “Sticks up their butts?”
The memory suddenly comes back to him, knocking the air out of his lungs. He feels a pang of nostalgia, which is quickly overpowered by grief. They shouldn’t be having this conversation again. She should know this. She did know this. All at once, the ease of this conversation is gone.
The weight of the situation crashed on his shoulders, nearly bringing him down onto his knees. He’s reminded again of when she’d called him ‘Quinn’ -- she didn’t even know his name up until a few weeks ago. They’re so out of sync with time right now it leaves him restless, the pain quickly turning into anger. It's much easier, after all.
She’s everything to him, and he’s nothing to her.
Memories of the ‘old Gamora’ run through his mind. Her listening to his stories, the way she’d make references to Kevin Bacon, that time she’d gotten him Star Wars figures just because she loves him. Loved, he thinks bitterly.
She doesn’t even know Star Wars.
He’s aware that this is coming from the irrational part of his brain, she really doesn’t deserve him taking this out on her. But dammit she didn’t deserve to die either.
Gamora gets up from the bed and moves towards the door, “Perhaps it’s time to get some sleep.”
Peter wants to physically kick himself. She definitely noticed his flare of anger, whether it’s by his expression or breathing he doesn’t know. He moves with her to apologize, but is greeted by a look of understanding. He really shouldn’t be surprised. Gamora is truly the most amazing woman in the universe. But that doesn’t mean he will ever get used to her limitless patience, understanding and care.
There’s a soft look in her eyes, clearly trying to let him know there’s no need for apologies. Whether it’s for him or because it will make her uncomfortable, he doesn’t know. He mutters one anyway. “Hey, uh, do you wanna walk with me to my room? So you know where it is.. you know..”
Her silver eyebrow quirks up, “You mean the room that is right next to me? The one you showed me before?”
Peter feels his face flush again, this time from embarrassment, “Right, yeah… that’s the one.”
Gamora humors him this time, though, “Alright. If it’s Terran culture then I will follow it.”
Peter forces himself to get over it. She’s here with him and this is his chance of showing her he’s here for her regardless. This is Gamora, whether she has those memories with him or not.
He briefly thinks about his mom. The way she’d gotten more forgetful towards the end, but she remained the same nonetheless. Memories or not.
Though, he really can’t afford to think about that right now.
He smiles at her, not sure if she’s joking or serious, but he’ll take it either way. It’s genuine, despite the dark thoughts reeling through his mind.
The room really is close and he’s at his own door in merely three steps. She’s right behind him, watching him carefully.
He opens the door fully, making sure to stand to the side, allowing her to see the full room before he enters. He wants her to be able to trust him again, and he knows being vulnerable has helped in the past. If he shows her how much he trusts her, she slowly feels more comfortable returning it. At least, that’s what happened before…
He tries not to let his mind go back to that. He gives her a forced smile and invites her for a tour with obvious false enthusiasm. Not that he’s unhappy to give it to her if she were to agree, but he’s a little busy trying not to burst into tears.
Gamora’s gasp breaks him out of it. She’s looking into his room with an unreadable expression, something between horror and confusion. His head snaps around to follow her line of sight and he feels his throat go dry as he finds out what she’s looking at.
There, on his nightstand, is the Godslayer.
An exact replica to the one strapped on her hip.
His nightstand is fairly empty, besides the Godslayer and several cleaning supplies surrounding it. He’s been caring for it ever since Gamora died, in a way he knows she would love. He’s watched her clean all her swords over a hundred times throughout the years, but the Godslayer had the most strict and specific routine. He’d asked about it once and she had shown him. Another huge act of trust on her side.
It’s not like Peter ever uses it for anything, so it doesn’t actually get dirty. Yet he cannot find himself to stop looking after it properly. Gamora cherished her swords, cared for them deeply and thoroughly. In a way it felt like keeping some of her legacy alive. Her actual legacy. Not the one of Thanos. Not as ‘the Sacrifice’.
He feels his stomach turn, a wave of nausea washes over him. Flashes of that day back on Knowhere coming back to him. He bites down on his lip until he can taste the blood on his tongue, trying to fight the tears yet again. This time it’s a useless battle and he feels the sob erupt from his body before he hears it.
Somewhere far away he hears a soft sound, almost like a whine, and when his head turns back to Gamora he actually sees the tears welling up in her eyes. He instinctively reaches out to her. He wants to apologize, to tell her he loves her, to hug her, to comfort her.. he wants so much, yet can’t seem to do anything but stare at her, completely frozen in place. Grief chaining him to the floor.
She rushes out of his room back to her own and swiftly closes the door without a word. His own door falls shut as well as she’d stopped holding it open. Peter doesn’t know how long he just stands there, maybe a minute, maybe thirty. He’s lost track of time, just as he’s lost track of the amount of tears streaming down his face. He lets himself fall back against the door, knees buckling before he slides down onto the floor.
“Fuck.”